How do SD's on SA handle posting their profile photo but still remain discreet? Since many SD's have live-in partners/family members who might recognize them from their posted photos how should discretion be safely handled?
I've seen some use blurred face photos for the main profile and keep the unblurred face photos in a private secure area until the POT's identity can be determined and then the locked photos are shared. Just wondering how other SD's handle the photo situation for safety and discretion purposes and what advice might be given for making sure everything remains on the DL.I deal with the discretion issue in two ways.
First, I don't post a profile photo. When I send an introductory note, I ask them to look at my profile and if they are interested I would be happy to send a photo, but I don't post it publicly. That seems to work fine and I have had good luck with getting SBs. The downside is that if you want to sit back and wait for messages to come in, it is unlikely to happen on Seeking if you do not have a photo. (You will get tons of messages on SD but most are fake.)
Second, I don't look at POTs that are likely to be connected with me IRL. While I would love to be with a 40 or 50-year old in my community, that just seems too risky to me. I look for (a) substantially younger than me, (b) usally AA (I am not AA), (c) certain locations that are close to me but don't overlap with where I am likely to hang out or be known.
BTW, the "usually AA" part is because, in my experience, they are actually the most interested/motivated. In 10 years, and probably 20 SBs over that time, I have never had a white SB work out.
First I used a photo that was on the web on Facebook years ago. So I have plausible deniability that someone is using the photo. Second I have it blurred on the public (this is on Secret Benefits) but reveal it to anyone I'm interested in. Only they can see it, so it's unlikely a relative etc of mine would ever see it.
If you are participating in Sugar Dating, escorting, or any other similar activity, I assume you believe that everyone has a right to have their needs met. I think I have that right, and you do too. So why hide that belief from your family? I'm not at all ashamed of having needs and wanting to have sexual relationships with a variety of women. As long as everyone is consenting adults who respect boundaries, it's perfectly ok. And one minor benefit is that I don't have to worry about hiding my activities from anyone.
That works in a society where it is uncommon to punish controversial opinions and lifestyles. If cancel culture has shown us anything, it has shown us that your typical human would rather see you dead than living or thinking in a way they didn't approve.
Your advice is well meaning, Sweetman, and in an ideal world and in some instances it could work but not in mine. Don't ask don't tell is by far the more preferable and humane option, at least on a personal level. I think it is up to each person to make his own judgements based on his own unique situation as there are some significant others who have a more open mind while others would find it grounds for separation and divorce. If all other elements of one's family situation are working while the sexual situation is the only missing component, one has to weigh the potential collateral damage of having that conversation vs being discreet.