How would you negotiate this scenario?  Pot SB asking for 1.6X my historical and intended max rate ($800 vs $500).  She conveyed this in a phone call (per her request) prior to a M&G.  She offered her number, I countered, and she declined.  But the phone call was fantastic and I suggested that we meet for drinks anyway.

Met her this afternoon for wine and convo.  Physically and intellectually, checks my boxes.  Had a great time and we parted with her stating we should meet again.

So my question is how would you negotiate?  Let's assume I have a solid rotation, but this POT fits a box that I have unchecked.  I can easily walk and be happy, but looking for a way to make the math work.

Negotiating should always be based on your budget, not her "worth." Her "worth" is a subjective, ambiguous amount. How much is she "worth" at any given time? She is priceless! Just ask her (because her opinion is all you have)?  

 
On the other hand, your budget is an objective, measurable amount. It's your actual budget, and she can't really argue that.  

 
I am assuming you just don't want to go with $800 with same frequency (# BCD's/month) as other SB's.  

 
So first, you can try the money over time model:  
If your budget is $500 3x a month, that's $1,500 a month assuming you consistently meet your schedule.  So if you don't think she will come down from $800, then stretch the proposed schedule to 2x a month for a total of $1,600 or meet once every 3 weeks for an average of $1,200 a month over a 3-month period.  This works best with SB's who are all about the money (vs. luxury lifestyle). It works even better for SB's that are, or will be, dating multiple SD's, as she will fill up the downtime with other old, wrinkled penises.  

 
Next, you can try the value vs price model:  
Tell her this: "If we can agree on $500 per meeting, I will be able to provide more exceptional experiences for us. We can go to more nice restaurants, travel more often, I can buy you better gifts, etc."  This works best with SB's who are equally interested in all the upscale lifestyle events you can provide as well as, or more than, the money.  

 
Bottom line: Do not offer $1 more than you are comfortable offering. That will eventually erode any satisfaction you will get from this arrangement. Neither of the 2 models above are perfect, but they should serve as a guideline to get you closer to your goal of enjoying that sweet, box-checking pussy.  

 
Life is good

 
The Cat

I would never negotiate with a provider. If her price is above my means, I say thank you and tell her to have a good day. First off, most providers will not negotiate their price down so it's rather pointless. Some might even block you and bad mouth you to their friends. If she actually accepts your lower than her asking price offer, she might not come with the same energy you want. At that point, she is likely not happy that you are paying less than she wants and, therefore, you may not get the service you want. Of course, if this happens, you can just move on. I am risk adverse, so I prefer not to take this chance. But if you're a gambling man and really want to see her and spend less, you can see what happens. Just know the risk.

As usual, great words of wisdom I will second.
I would add this: Think about what you see as her motivation in this. There are some gals who are not interested in us guys but will lay themseves down if the price is right. These tend not to be the best arrangements, from my view. There are others who want  a guy they can cnnect with and have fun with, and the cash is gravy on top. These tend to be better for me -- although you have to make your own choices. If it's the latter I would try to make it work as Herb suggested. Logically, if she is looking for $1600 a month that would mean roughly 3 meetings a month instead of two. If the meetings are fun for both parties. it's a win-win. But if this gal wants to pull own $800 every week she may be dreaming or out of your league.

Remind her, you want to see her often and consistently, 800 isn't in the cards for that.  Does she want a 1-2 time 800 or a consistent 1500-2000 per month?  If she only wants the 800 she's more likely to drop you the second she gets more from someone or just be seeing tons of guys, if you are ok with that then sure.  I like arrangements more exclusive, can go without condoms.  No chance of catching anything.

Zeel,  

Thans for joining us on The Erotic Highway Board.  This board has been adopted by this community as a place to discuss Sugar Dating as an alternate to Escorts. Now there's nothing wrong with escorts! We've all enjoyed our share of Pro's from a variety of sources and a variety of service offerings in the pay-by-the-hour model.  

 
Sugar Dating is different.  The woman who post dating profiles on sites like Seeking-dot-com or SeekingBenefits-dot-com (not unlike what you may see on E-Harmony) are largely not "traditional" escorts who post escort ads on sites like Eros and Tryst.  These are women who are interested in dating generally much older men. I mean real dates which typically are not based on a fee-per-hour or on fee-per-act basis. A sugar date may last several hours (or days) and can include non-sex activities like dinner, shopping, travel, talking/sharing life stories and experiences, art festivals, concerts, etc. The date is somewhat structured in that each date typically includes sex (we call this BCD or Behind Closed Doors time) and the Sugar Daddy (SD) provides an allowance to his Sugar Baby (SB).  The expectation with any such arrangement is that the SD and SB will continue to date on a semi-regular basis and that the SD and SB will develop some level of emotional connection over time.    

 
In the sugar context, negotiating the ongoing allowance is normal. The entire context is idealistically opposed to typical hooker artifacts like ads, revies, agencies, and blacklists and such. Think Mistress and Side Girl, rather than high-end, street girl, or agency models.  The foundation is based on the relationship, not the rates and reviews.  

 
If you would like to learn more about this alternate to hiring hookers, I invite you to read past posts here on The Erotic Highway.  I think you will find a deeply engaging ongoing discussion with older men who truly enjoy dating younger women.    

 
Life is good

 
The Cat  

I have never paid more than  500 ppm in LA and even some girls who initially start w 600-700 once they meet me in person and we get along, don’t mind 500 at all  

800 is a bit high -you may be able to bring her down to 600 if she liked you but if she is firm at 800, don’t bother unless you can put up 800 consistently . Otherwise the sex will be mediocre  

Frankly speaking -  early on when I was a newbie —  I once negotiated a 1000 girl to 750 and had sex w her at a 300 dollar hotel - incl parking etc that was 1100 dollars down the drain and I learned my lesson - never to do that again  

More money does not equal better experiences

Met POT SB at a wine bar.  She's clearly looking to improve her life's experiences more so than "lifestyle".  Her goals are to travel, learn to ski, play golf, become knowledgeable about wine, paint, etc...  All of these (except painting) are in my wheelhouse.  After the M&G she texted wanting to coordinate schedules for next week.

Will take her to a nice dinner spot, have great wine and conversation.  I'm going to stick with my original offer of $500 for 2-3 meets/mont.  In reality, it will be 1-2/month as she's joining the rotation, but 2-3 sounds better to most SB's.  In my experience, once you treat them well, have a great time, don't get possessive/intrusive, the frequency becomes less important. Can do $600 if she hosts, and will walk if she doesn't accept my offer.  

What others have said is absolutely great advice.
My only contrarian comment is this:
The actual "worth" of a girl depends mostly on her 'hotness'
From 1-10, multiply by 100 to get an expected ppm
Of course, if you are younger and good looking a minus of -20% is reasonable.  
Basically, the HOT ones charge up to 1K - it's up to you if it's worth it.
These days, you better have an income of 200-400K to play, otherwise expect someone like me to beat you to the prize.
...and you know we are all brothers here, so comments offered are in the spirit of that.

Euro-Guy,  

I appreciate your comments. This allows for an in-depth look at why I suggested the "my budget" approach over the "her ask" discussion.

 
I don't dispute your formula for calculating "actual worth," except to say that it remains a subjective measurement. Your "hotness multiplier" may serve as a general guideline for determining what an SD might offer as allowance, assuming he has sufficient budget and desire.  But the OP's question is about how to negotiate with a POT SB.  

 
And your comments demonstrate the exact opposite of the strategy I suggest.  You say "...the HOT ones CHARGE up to 1K..." (Emphasis added.) That is a hooker pricing model; a hooker charges a rate. There is nothing wrong with hookers. I've hired hundreds over the last 30 years.  But we are talking about a sugar DATING model, which has a different context. In sugaring an SD offers an allowance.  

 
The context in sugaring is about an ongoing dating relationship. As such the SD should flip the model from HER "worth" (whether you determine worth by her "ask" or your hotness model), to YOUR budget. I would never engage in a discussion with a POT about her worth. This is a losing strategy for men as it gives the POT SB full control over the financials of the arrangement.  Conversely, as discussed with Zeel above, I would never try to negotiate a lower rate from a hooker. That will not turn out well - ever.  

 
So yes, if her looks get your dick harder than granite, adjust your "budget" accordingly, if you can. But if, as the OP did, you have already determined your target ($500 for the OP) and she has determined her target ($800 for the POT SB), then the question and my suggested approach was about how to close that gap within the SD's stated budget.  

 
Life is good

 
The Cat

-- Modified on 2/4/2024 12:06:53 PM

-- Modified on 2/4/2024 12:07:45 PM

Your advice was completely on topic - I acknowledge that mine was not.
Is was more, that the concept of "worth" keeps coming up and unfortunately, it does have some foundation if stated by a hotty.  Sure, the average girl you'll meet on Seeking has an inflated view of such.
In my area the hooker price and SB price tends to merge when a truly 'Ten' girl emerges amongst the masses.
Negotiate to your heart's desire, but realize if you don't have the financial resources, guys like me will beat you every time.
That having been said, you and Sweets do seem to have a 'silver tongue' and probably could knock a few euros off her asking.
And not that's it bad advice to reduce the sting by spreading out the pussy to monthly rather than weekly, it's just I couldn't ever considering doing that!  lol

Well thanks for enlighting me! I was not aware. Now that I am, I will probably focus on other threads since this is not what I seek nor can I really be helpful with others. Appreciate your explanation.

As usual, Herb's advice is spot-on, but FWIW I would offer one footnote: Some women will say, “instead of lowballing me to $500, you should take that money you’re spending on dinners, gifts, etc. and  increase my rate.  Because of you deciding how to spend my money, I would rather decide how to spend my money.”

Just to better explain: I had an SB who was angry I was  spending money on dinner and gifts that could be going into her pocket.  But I understand there’s lots of SBs who really want all those bells & whistles of wining & dining, so YMMV.

That's the type I prefer. If they come in at a reasonable ask it's a go.