I often ask for an exchange of IDs if there's any question about their age. I always talk about safety, both theirs and mine. I offer my ID and tell them "you have the right to know I am who I am and that I'm not hiding behind a false identity. And I simply need to know you are over 18." They have never been embarrassed by this request. If they hesitate I tell them it's ok to cover their name and address, I just need to see their photo and date of birth.
As a quick update on becoming a Diamond member, I think it is to be recommended.
I'm averaging more than a 50% return rate on messages and although I haven't verified it, I think their must be some exclusivity with the new members because I' m experiencing, maybe 70% returns.
Now mind you, my search parameters are: white/Asian; 130lbs; 140++ cm.
I've become a bit jaded, so the girl has to be a 8.5+ for me to even contact her.
The CON?
Like Herb speculated, you will also be the first to deal with the newest scammers/flakes that would normally be banned.
For the guys who like the 'play the game', and have an empty rotation, you would have a ball!
So back to my question. I've got three drop-dead SBs who agreed to a M&G and in my case, that usually translates to a BCD (I've been very explicit as regard to sexual activities, and with one, some kink. LOL)
BUT, the ages are: 18,19 and 21.
Sure, I could embarrass them and ask for ID, which would probably be the one they used for Seeking.
I thinking the SA ID check should probably be good enough.
Thoughts?
I don't. Check the ID
I tell her. "You are so beautiful, but it's really hard for me to tell how old you really are. I don't want to sound too creepy, but can I check your ID? I can show you mine as well."
I often ask for an exchange of IDs if there's any question about their age. I always talk about safety, both theirs and mine. I offer my ID and tell them "you have the right to know I am who I am and that I'm not hiding behind a false identity. And I simply need to know you are over 18." They have never been embarrassed by this request. If they hesitate I tell them it's ok to cover their name and address, I just need to see their photo and date of birth.
Excellent suggestion Sweetman!
Would you rather be a creep who's banging an 18-year-old hottie, or a creep who's living in Epstein's former cell?
Papa Sweet and I approach this the same way. I always produce my ID at the M&G, and even text her my LinkedIn profile link. (Not that an 18–21-year-old will know what LinkedIn is, but still.) And as part of that discussion, I ask to see her ID as well. I actually offer to have her take a pic of my ID and ask to take a pic of hers, too, if she is comfortable with that.
Why? Yes, Seeking (probably) uses the latest commercially available technology to verify ID and ages. But none of those are perfect. And none of those will keep you out of trouble if an under 18 shows up for a M&G.
Long ago, when I still lived in the Bay Area of California, I arranged a M&G with a 19-year-old Latina who was new to Sugaring. I had already "verified" her by her as "real" by her IG pics and info. I drove 2.5 hours to her city and checked into a local hotel. Then headed to the M&G at a nearby Starbucks. She was late, of course. She told me by text that she was at her cousins' wedding and was trying to break away without her father realizing. WTF?
By this time, I was "pot committed" (Poker pun on "pot" intended. Hmmm... "Pok-her pun" is also a pun. LOL), so I waited almost 2 hours for her to show. By the time I had nearly wiped out the Starbucks' iced tea supply, she finally showed up - with a friend in tow. I was cordial and the three of us chatted for a few minutes before I offered the ID swap. She showed me her college ID and her DL and mentioned that her friend was still in high school as a sophomore! I took a pic of the POT's ID and headed for the restroom trying not to show my internal panic. When I came back, I reminded her she was due back at the wedding celebration and politely let her know I'd be heading home due to the late start of our meeting. Of course, I never contacted her again.
There will always be risk. It's up to you to mitigate that risk as much as you need to until you feel the risk is justified.
Final thought: You can always mention in your M&G set-up text that you expect to swap ID's for mutual protection, as Papa noted. That will make it expected rather than "creepy." But that assumes you are comfortable showing your ID to
her. If you feel the need to hide your real info is more important than verifying her age (no judgement from me), you will need to find another path.
Life is good
The Cat
As always Herb, you and others are spot on!
As a bit of an aside, and now that another 18 yo POT has begun messaging me...
Not too long ago I saw a story where a dude was arrested for having sex with an underage girl he met off Seeking.
His defense during the trial was he had a copy of her ID (indicating she was 18) which turned out to be a fake one she bought from a guy at the nearby university.
He was still convicted with the ruling being she was underage at the time and the fake ID was irrelevant!
A year or so ago, I went out with a SB who produced a fake ID to get a drink with me, and she commented how easily they are obtained. Actually, the funny part was the waiter at the first place refused to serve her saying she looked too young and we had to go to another restaurant to get a drink (at that time I didn't know her ID was fake).
So, I'm thinking about cutting both 18s lose and not even taking the risk.
So, I'm thinking about cutting both 18s lose and not even taking the risk.
Bottom line - if you are going to check the IDs for age (and fakes), you need to expand your limit way beyond 18. Maybe 25?
Dick, that's a good point. You simply cannot tell how old a girl is by asking her, or looking at her, or even looking at her ID. I know this isn't a legal forum, but I wonder what the burden is legally. If someone is accused of inappropriate contact with an underage individual, after performing all the normal due diligence that any reasonable person should perform, yet the fact remains that they were indeed underage. How are you supposed to know?
Not trying to pretend to offer legal advice, but my understanding of these cases is that you have to consider the context.
When an older....and I mean MUCH older guy is banging a unbeknownst to him, minor, who he met online and is paying her money in some way, the concept of 'due diligence' does not come into play.
A bar, for example who is serving thousands of people per year and is licensed does have a recognized standard.
From a practical sense, I suppose you could ask (like Herb mentioned) for a second form of ID that would not normally be counterfeited.
And I appreciate what you said Dick E, but, at least for me, its more a matter of risk vs. reward and those over 18 have a diminishing need to obtain fake ID's except of course to drink. I suspect the penalty for giving alcohol to a girl less than 21 wouldn't be anywhere near as severe as underage sex.
And I appreciate what you said Dick E, but, at least for me, its more a matter of risk vs. reward and those over 18 have a diminishing need to obtain fake ID's except of course to drink. I suspect the penalty for giving alcohol to a girl less than 21 wouldn't be anywhere near as severe as underage sex.
In Europe the legal drinking age is 18, or less. In the US, it is 21.
So in Europe, a girl looking for a fake ID only needs it to say 18+. Whereas in the US, a girl getting a fake ID will ALWAYS have it state 21+. That is a major reason I say that you have to expand the age range you are suspicious of way past 18, to encompass 21+. At least in the US.
So, from my moniker, I do spend maybe half of my life in the EU,as well as Africa.
Yes, you quite correct: for drinking in some places 14 is passable if your parents are liquoring you up! lol
Some time ago, I mentioned that I '"may''have come in contact with a young lady who "may not" have been 18, but in Italia, the age of consent was 16 at the time. Also, interestingly she could have easily passed for 21 and in my village she was the dominant female of the younger girl clan. And with regard to the discussion of crazy SBs she was the most relaxed, poised and 'normal' of the young ladies who would gather in the square each night to drink wine and talk about whatever girls talk about.
I am also not in any position to give legal advice. But from what anecdotal info I have seen over the years, I don't think any amount of due diligence matters. I don't believe that any laws are written with a clause that says "...unless the older person does (something)," or "...unless the younger person tries to deceive the older person."
Life is good
The Cat