When you are dating a girl for several months is kissing mandatory by a girl to show that she loves you and really cares for you?

I have a girlfriend who claims she has feelings to me but when I evaluate the kiss sometimes I get better kissing by providers. I've been seeing providers for many years and this is my first real girlfriend.

So I usually analyze each and every move. So far the kissing I've been getting has been light and I don't always get to deep french kiss.

From her past relationships I've been told she was a little shy and she just ended a relationship. For me kissing is not a big deal, but I just need it as a confirmation of her love.
Thanks for your advice on this Love Goddess.

Deep sigh, lovehelp,

You want my advice? Stick to providers and forget about "real" girlfriends. Because when you start comparing one kisser with another in this way, the relationship is more or less doomed. My question is, do you want HER to be in love with YOU, or the other way around? I wonder how YOU kiss? Or is it all up to her?

If your post wasn't so...well...jejune, I'd say the enquiry is somewhat narcissistic.  You've been "seeing providers for years" and you are used to paying for women catering to your whims. In real life, being truly in love is a give-and-take that doesn't involve pay-for-play. And as such, what you lose in technique you gain in emotion.

I'll be honest - I find this post shallow,
The Love Goddess

Dear Love Goddess,

Sorry for the shallow post. But what you are saying in love it is an emotion and having a perfect kiss is not a prerequisite. You don't need to have a perfect technique in love when it comes to emotions?

The basis of my question is couldn't you tell how much a women loves you by the amount of effort she puts in kissing a man aka body language? Because you can't really hide your emotions with your body language

Body language and kissing techniques are two separate issues, lovehelp,

The fact that she doesn't put enough "effort" into kissing has very little to do with her feelings. Maybe SHE feels that she is putting in as much effort as she possibly can, while YOU think it's not enough for you.

In any event, instead of sending in these various postings under many aliases [half of them get redirected to the GD board because quite frankly, they are beyond the pale of immaturity], you should have deep and honest conversations with your girlfriend about these issues. These boards are not to here to spoon-feed you through real-life relationships. My final opinon: get with a psychotherapist and resolve some of these most basic issues.

Not hiding my emotions in my written language, that's certain,
The Love Goddess

what's with all the analysis.

Here's a little tip for you:

(click link)

One big thing missing from that link or maybe I didn't see it because I was busy flossing..
 You can brush your teeth and scrape your tongue five times a day and still have bad breath, no matter how many mints you eat.. Nothing masks the smell of rotting meat between your teeth, and a toothbrush will not remove all debris from crevices..Dental Floss alone will make your mouth fresher than brushing..Only floss the teeth you want to keep..
Perhaps the OP's GF  is madly in love with him, but she just doesn't have the strength to tell him his breath is bad..
If you are not a avid flosser do not floss within six hours of Daty..
If you ever see blood when flossing you are not flossing enough.
I don't care how hot she is, if her breath is bad no DFK from me...

My thoughts are almost the exact opposite of the Love Goddess': forget the providers and stick to real life!

Providers in general provide a FANTASY. Fantasy, fantasy, fantasy. Like watching TV. IT ISN'T REAL.

And, frankly, fantasy should never take the place of real life. And it darned sure shouldn't be used as a basis for comparison. The fact you are trying to compare the two says that you are having difficulty delineating the boundaries between fantasy and reality. In that case, the fantasy needs to take a hike in the interests of your long-term wellbeing.

The average hourly pay for a neurosurgeon is $247/hr. I often pay well more than twice that for a  provider. Hey, when you are paying a lady more than you'd pay a neurosurgeon ... OF COURSE she'll kiss the crap right out of you. And she'll screw your brains out too. She'll give you an unbelievable BJ. She'll even create an artificial environment sans distractions and the whole nine yards! She'll give you an idealized FANTASY experience that'll knock your socks off. And she should. After all, she's being well-paid.

I have dated a lot of women in civie life. Women of every imaginable sort. Nannies, college professors, models, banking executives, secretaries, teachers, scientists, etc.

And you know what they all had in common? Other than horrible taste in the men they dated (lol), practically nothing outside of plumbing. Every woman expressed her emotions differently.

Some expressed positive emotional content by doing nice things for me; others by sharing time in mutual non-sexual activities; and others through lots and lots of sex. In general -- and this is anecdotal -- the women who were MOST sexually hot-to-trot the quickest had the LEAST emotionally invested. For example, the lady who decided to give me a super-duper BJ on the first date barely knew my freakin' name; and another who was averse to oral sex generally is STILL on great (albeit non-sexual) terms with me today because of mutual appreciation.

I realize that some underconfident guys turn to the hobby to gain confidence and stuff. And I guess that's okay. Different strokes and all that. I haven't seen any studies showing that paying money for sex improved men's confidence, though. So the jury is out on that.

But personally, I believe the hobby should be contextualized as an adjunct to real life; and not as a substitute for real life or as a source of unhealthy comparisons.

Real women do not typically dress in lingerie while eagerly awaiting the opportunity to kiss you to death the second you walk in the door.

Really.

In my opinion, you need to deal with your self-esteem/self-worth issues; abandon fantasy-land sex and pay close attention to REAL women in the REAL world.

Because real-life relationships are important.

And guess what? Sometimes real-life women reject you. Sometimes they cheat on you. Sometimes they lie, lead you on, and all kinds of stuff. JUST LIKE MEN. And when these things happen -- it can hurt a lot.

These are indispensible experiences of growing up, becoming mature, and learning about yourself and your emotional limits.

In my humble opinion, using p4p sex to protect yourself from these experiences stands in the way of your emotional maturity.

After all, a woman you hand an envelope isn't going to reject you, dress you down when you first get home because you were a heel, or break your heart.

Time to get into the real world and suffer some bumps and bruises while learning a thing or two.

They can be self-conscious about their teeth, and/or oral hygiene. Or, they can have fears of being contaminated, which can be amplified if your oral hygiene is below par. Kissing well takes an ability to read the other person well, and not to be too aggressive. I talked to a woman, recently, who complained that the guy she kissed, for the first time, had his tongue down her throat. She never went out with him again. Any feelings she could have developed for him flew out the window.

I've never had any trouble understanding, from a woman's kiss, that she wanted to jump my bones. Sometimes it led to feelings deeper than just participating in causal sex, sometimes not.

Sounds like you need to have a discussion with her about what her experience is of kissing you.

OK, kissing is important.  You can NOT & must NOT compare paid services.  Providers will French & all sorts of things that many civie women may not be on a civie menu.  I won't get into phobias & motivations which are numerous.

If she was recently in a relationship, she may require more time to trust her heart again & open up to physical intamacy. She may have "feelings"...  that may not be enough just yet.

IMHO, a love relationship will include mouth kisses...  perhaps a lot of lip carressing.  Open mouth/tongue is highly variable...  some may like it...  others may refuse it...  still others might puke all over you!  I dare say this is teachable to the highly motivated...  but a civie companion may not want to.

If this is worth doing, it is worth doing right.  It takes more than kisses to know if tis is right.

Best Wishes,
skb

"Providers will French & all sorts of things that many civie women may not be on a civie menu"

I have found entirely the opposite..I have been with many more civvies than providers and thats not my experience at all.
 I have never been with a civvy who didn't DFK,maybe not at first but certainly once her motor was running, although some were definitely  more sloppy than erotic.On the other hand I have been with some great repeat providers who have never DFK with me, but the other menu's were wide open..I always figured the provider was saving "One" thing special for her BF or GF ..No big Deal as long as I get some LFK and the other party favors..
Now I'm thinking YMMV and I have been on the  the wrong end of the DFK deal with some providers..
I will repeat after myself YMMV ..
    Cheers

not sure if this is playing any role in your uncertainty

good luck!