Single guy with no SO.
After reading many of the sage posts on this site, I decided to join Seeking and am excited and nervous.
I've read thru the last 6 months of threads here but am still not certain what rules are best.
I'm not accustomed to hiding my personal information in relationships.
Some questions to help me:
1-I have a single iphone I use for all texts. Can I use this for communicating with SB or does this reveal my last name?
Do I have to acquire a separate phone?
If so, which is best?

2-I get the impression that revealing last name, occupation and workplace are problematic in risking extortion, doxxing.
How do you conduct "relationships that include chatting" without discussing your work?
It just seems weird to never reveal that info in a relationship.
My only concern would be being outed in a public venue like Facebook.  

3-Do most pay via cash,.cash app, venmo? Do the apps leave a trail with your last name?

Thanks.

Welcome to the Sugar Bowl dude, may you have a long and satisfying career as a SD!   And good job reading the past posts.  There's a lot of useful info and accumulated wisdom here. Keep us posted about your adventures! You'll find a variety of opinions on these subjects, but here are mine:
1.  I use one phone for everything, never had a problem.  I always offer to exchange IDs with new SBs which very often puts them at ease and is exactly what they need to feel safe.  So I obviously don't give a shit if they know my last name.  Those who do give a shit and have other reasons for anonymity use burner apps on their phones, not a separate physical phone.

2. I already answered that partially, but anyway, I always reveal info about my work and my life, just like you would do with regular social dating.  Remember, sugar dating is dating, not hiring an escort.  It would be really weird to meet a girl socially but not tell her about your work.  I follow the same habits with SBs as I would with a civvie GF.  As for being outed on Facebook, who the fuck cares?  If family/friends saw it and were judgemental I guess I'd just tell them I date a variety of women and this one turned out to be crazy and vindictive so don't believe a word she said.

3.  I NEVER use payment apps of any kind, ever!  If a girl asks me to send money on venmo, or cashhapp etc. how do I know it's not a scam?  (answer, it's ALWAYS a scam).  When asked, I always reply nicely that I always and only provide $ugar the old fashioned way, in cash and in person.

1.  You can pay for a text only number through an app.  Some girls do.  I don't, but my number did get tagged on a review site so I checked it to get that removed.

2. I don't reveal exact workplace till we st least video chat.  And if she's not giving me her real info, why would I?  I'm also very clear about my expectations up front.  If she's down for it great, if not. Then we part ways.

3. Never send money before the end of the date.  Ever.  If you use Zelle or Venmo, make sure she's done the deed first.  Paying before is asking to get scammed.  If she demands payment up front, block and report her.  SA does not like escorts and that is hooker talk

Everyone has their own preferences but if you’re single you have fewer concerns.
I would suggest getting a free google voice number simply because your real number can be tied to your identity and you can get a lot of spam,
For the rest, understand that these gals are for the most part not pros and this is more like a dating relationship than an escort and you will spend time together and learn each other’s names and workplaces. There are different styles.. some people will go out in public, some won’t. Some turn into genuine relationships but most have boundaries that you decide on.
If you know your partner there’s no reason not to use a payment app but that’s another personal choice.

-- Modified on 8/20/2023 7:33:47 AM

Other things:
Don't send any money ever to anyone before you meet. Not for nails, or gas or Uber (you can order an Uber). Don't book a hotel before you know her. Don't go to her place before you know here. Start with a platonic (!) meet for coffee or lunch and figure out things. One danger that hasn't been discussed in catfishing, so the gal may not be what she seems.

You're single.  It's okay to date girls.  Not sure what risk you are facing (except from scammers, so don't send money.)  You can't be blackmailed.  Sugaring is not really a law enforcement issue so no real threat there.

There are no right answers here.  Everyone must decide what works best for them.   I am more cautious than most - certainly more cautious than those that have already responded.  (I even pay cash for my burner and do everything over VPN - but that is what I am comfortable with).

1. I use a burner.  Easy and cheap.  And they automatically separate SB life from real life.  To some this does not matter. To me, it does matter.

2.  I reveal ZERO details.  You can still discuss things without getting into specifics. And this rule can always be relaxed later and in specific situations based on knowledge and comfort.  

3. Always cash.

There is a reason you are asking these questions.  Start out with caution. There is no undo. You can always loosen things up when you have a better feel for the bowl.  It only takes one asshole, one crazy stalker, one jealous boyfriend, or any person that feels they can benefit from your situation to make things complicated for you.

Are people using their real names here or on SA?  Is it a coincidence this board is part of a website called Th Erotic Review?    Sure, not a big deal to many.  But only you can decide what works for you.  

When you ask about a trail for your last name, I sense you want to be more cautious...at least in the beginning.

Good luck!