Hi Goddess!

I'm fairly new to hobbying - I've seen two providers and was happy with the outcome.  I've looked through the reviews and identified several providers with whom I would like to schedule an appointment.  I've written but received no response whatsoever.  Can you tell me what I'm doing wrong???  

Here's my typical email:
Hi XXXX,
How are you? I hope well. I'd like to see about scheduling an appointment with you. I'm registed on P411. Please let me know if that's an option. Thanks!
Sometimes I give my P411 number.  
Thanks in advance for the help.
TomDoc69

it may be better to give some idea of when you want to schedule the appointment. if it is a first contact then being extremely specific as to date, time and duration helps. otherwise you may not be viewed as a serious prospect, more as a window shopper.

Dear TomDoc69,

As you may have noticed, this type of email worked with two providers, while with others, it did not. The content of your email strikes me as rather impersonal - or who knows, maybe it ended up in their spamfilter? If it were me, I would at least want to know what you do for a living or why you are contacting me, regardless of your registration with P411. Some providers do have standards when it comes to clients and they may ignore this email for all kinds of reasons...even the misspelling of "registered," who knows?

This is the problem with making appointments by email rather than over the phone. I realize that we live in a generation where emails may be preferred over voicemails, but you really can tell an awful lot about a person on the phone. On the other hand, if this is their preferred mode of communication...who knows?

The best thing to do is to post your query on the General Discussion board. There, you will find countless providers who have a much more accurate view of these things and who deal with these issues on a daily basis. Ask them - they will know.

Good luck,
the Love Goddess

You need to give more details as far as date, time and length of appointment. Also, if these ladies have a screening form on their website I would suggest that you follow the instructions on their site about contacting them-which will almost always include filling out the form rather than just sending a blind email.

The fact of the matter is that most well reviewed ladies are very busy and they also have lives outside of the hobby.  It is pretty routine for some of them to blow-off random non-specific emails.

BG pretty much said it all. A little more detail and as LG mentioned a little more personal. Give her more information and try to sell yourself a little.

Thanks to each of you for your advice!

I want to thank you especially.  I read somewhere that I was supposed to be business like - i.e., not refer to anything other than wanting to get together.  And I'll check my spell checker.  Geez - can't believe I did that.  

I'm nervous about calling somebody cold.  Maybe I'm worried about getting "caught".  

Again, thank you.

Dear TomDoc69,

It's when you "call cold" that you need to be business-like. As to "getting caught," I have no idea what this means. I'd stick with very well-reviewed providers for all the logical reasons, which I am sure you can figure out.

Of course, I wouldn't write suggestive or explicit emails either. But something more personal is always nice, e.g. describing yourself and your connection to this world. Maybe I'm being overly "therapeutic" here, but I think it's nice for any woman to know a little something about a guy she's potentially jumping in bed with. Something more like a nice personals ad?Hmmm....let's see...if it were me, I'd like to read something like:

"Hello, my name is XX XX and I am a 49 year old CEO of a xxx company (or, I am a 54 year old college professor/physician/lawyer residing in XXXX, XX. I travel a lot for business and occasionally I like to meet with interesting and attractive ladies such as yourself. I was particularly attracted to your lovely persona on your website and in reading about you on TER. I have no problem with providing references, either through XX service, or simply through Google, where you will find several links to my name. To begin with, I would like to schedule a one-hour meeting to get acquainted. If we find that we enjoy each other's company, then we could always extend or meet again in the future. I am enquiring to see if you are available to meet on XX/XX at Xpm/am. I will be staying at XXX hotel. If you would rather meet at another location of your choosing, please let me know and I will make every effort to be there. Please reply via email or by calling xxxxx. This is a secure line; in addition, I can be reached on my company line. Please be discreet when responding, as my secretary screens all my calls. I very much look forward to making your acquaintance. Sincerely, John Edward Croesus III.

There! I can't believe I just wrote a hobbyist email. Maybe this could be a sideline?

Hope it works
the Love Goddess

Are you SURE you haven't done this before....

I have to agree with bostonguy - are you SURE you haven't done this before??!  Word for word I plan to copy your email.  

OK, I won't do that!  Uh, as for "getting caught" I really meant getting put in a compromising situation with someone who is unscrupulous (probably spelled that wrong) - I mean being blackmailed or something.  I know, I know, I have a vivid imagination.

...that shit's gonna be my boilerplate...lol...

...how 'bout one for the home range ladies?

Dear BigSplooge,

Even if you are in the same town, just substitute and say "I will be in your area on X/XX" for whatever reason. Remember that YOU are selling yourself, as per evolutionary psychology - ultimately, the women are the selectors, the men the selectees. Just plug in/delete the particulars in the copy. If this seems ambiguous, I'll be happy to concoct a local scenario as well.

This is fun,
the Love Goddess

Wow,
Didn't realize that hobbyist introductory communications were of some complexity, so here goes for the local boyz:

Hello, my name is XX XX and I am a 49 year old CEO of a xxx company (or, I am a 54 year old college professor/physician/lawyer) working in XXXX. I was particularly attracted to your lovely persona on your website and in reading about you on TER. I have no problem with providing references, either through XX service, or simply through Google, where you will find several links to my name. To begin with, I would like to schedule a one-hour meeting to get acquainted. If we find that we enjoy each other's company, then we could always extend or meet again in the future. I am enquiring to see if you are available to meet on XX/XX at Xpm/am. If you have a location of your choosing, please let me know and I will make every effort to be there. Please reply via email or by calling xxxxx. This is a secure line; in addition, I can be reached on my company line. Please be discreet when responding, as my secretary screens all my calls. I very much look forward to making your acquaintance. Sincerely, John Edward Croesus III."

I like the last name - inspires a lot of confidence
the Love Goddess

at the responses from people on this board.

I am not going to beg someone to take my money. OP sent a perfectly reasonable email. A girl with any sense replies back saying "Nice to meet you. Glad you found me. In order for us to meet, I need to know a couple more things, etc..."

Instead they "blow off" a customer because of the most inane reasons. And everyone on this board agrees! What happened to Customer service?

If KMart treated me this way, I would not beg them to take my money. I would walk out and find what I wanted at Target. Same principle applies here - there are many girls who would be happy to have me as a customer. Those are the ones with whom I want to share my money and time.

Dear PittPanther,

Unfortunately the same principle that operates for K-Mart and Target does NOT apply here. This is particularly evident when it comes to the very successful providers who charge accordingly and can cherry-pick their clientele. If anything, we are dealing with evolutionary psychology principles where obtaining a scarce resource commands some effort. With this, I mean that a well-reviewed, desirable, even "esteemed" provider can pick her price and her gentleman, since she has an ample selection to choose from. This is no different than engaging in male-male competition for the chieftain's daughter or the bravest knight fighting the most dangerous battle to finally break the hymen of the virginal princess on the coveted wedding night. It's all about competition for scarcity. And in every society, in every animal group, women are seen as valuable resources. After all - no women, no progeny.

N.b. that this doesn't obviate the fact that women are still treated as second-class citizens and as chattel in the more traditional societies. But a valuable resource they are, and a valuable resource they will continue to be, at least from a mating standpoint. Men compete to mate with women, in every society and in every culture. It's not the other way around.

Your principle would indeed apply if the girl (or provider) in question had a lesser perceived value, as in divorcee, widow, or, in traditional cultures, "used up" by many men for very little money. Massage parlors, brothels and other sexual service establishments are certainly evidence of this. But the way things stand among mammals, primates and certainly among homo sapiens - the guy who can present himself in the most favorable light is the one who gets to enjoy the most valuable resource. And in this case, the most beautiful, the higher-priced and the escorts who for whatever reason occupy a higher position in the escortian hierarchy - following human propensity for hierarchical stratification - they have the power to hit the reply button or simply delete, based on the fact that there are 10 more emails written by eager men who want to get at the exclusive, somewhat elusive honey pot.

Hunters, gatherers, all in the chase,
the Love Goddess

Do send the message to their e mail address or PM them?  I send them a PM if I am interested.  That way they can check me out and see all my White List referrals.  Problem is that many providers do not check their PM's or even know what it is.  The ones that do know how to do this are serious about what they do and in my experience provide amazing service.  The ones who don't answer, I guess I will never know and I guess I will never care.  Keep it simple, this is a hobby, not a job interview that you have to submit a resume for.  TER does all the heavy lifting for the providers, all they have to do is provide top quality service and rake in the $$$ (I am not implying that providing top quality service does not take some work).  Seriously, work on getting some White List referrals, they are like gold in the hobbying world.

LG, first of all I thank you for such a thoughtful response.

I certainly understand the theme of your response, that supply and demand certainly works in favor of highly-desirable providers. I can't disagree with you, as the proof is in the pudding - if the provider needed more clients she would not have treated OP that way.

It would be interesting to know if the attitude of a provider like this would carry over into her actual performance. In other words, because she knows she is so desirable, perhaps she does not "work as hard" as a provider that needs to prove herself. Often we have heard of guys that spent time and money on wining and dining the tall, cool, blond, only to find out that during sex she was a cold fish.

My first rule of thumb for female companionship - Does she like me? If she doesn't like me, I am extremely unmotivated to spend my time and energy trying to "convince" her to like me. I spend my time on girls (and providers) who like me, and want to spend time with me. Works in my civvie life, and in my provider world as well.

which dictates that if it looks good, then it must be good. If you peruse the reviews of higher-priced providers, some only get 9's and 10's. Is their SEXUAL service vastly different from, say, a woman who gets mostly 8's, 9's and maybe just an occasional 10?

My bet is that it's not in the nookie per se, but in all the trimmings...which can range from perfect personal presentation, to a gorgeous in-call location...and the initial mindset of the hobbyist. OTOH, let's not forget the other end of the spectrum - women who may only rate 5 or 6 in looks but who consistently score 9's in performance. Ultimately, it comes down to the desires of the hobbyist - a "cold fish" with a stunning appearance may still turn on a visually oriented hobbyist more than a sexual dynamo whose appearance mirrors the more average woman.

A different subject for a different board, but nevertheless some food for thought,
the Love Goddess

Id see ya...lol

a girl as you would say, "with any sense" is screening For personality as well as references and credentials.
I prefer to see only the Gentlemen who first off interest me, for what ever reason. Usually a sweet voice mail or email that reflects their personality.
They screen well and have references, a must but all this without the personaslity I am interested in, I will most likely just pass as Not my cup of tea.

Some times it seems that there are men here who are under the impression we should be happy anyone calls us and just see anyone with the correct donation. How dare We of all people be picky after all he has $$$.  It's not all about that for many.  Picking and choosing who you see and by our own criteria does single out those we have No desire to see under any circumstances even if he had twice the correct amount of cash.

This is a business run on an individual basis,and no it is NOT kmart or walmart or 7/11, where having cash can buy anyone what they want in those stores, but if a reference is needs so you will understand, it's like an exclusive club that you are wanting to become a member of. She, the Lady decides out of all her persuers who she wishes to spend time with.  If for what ever reason, you are turned down, all I can say is she may Not feel it's a good match.  I believe this is key in making the ultimate experience for Our clients. We know ourselves, what works for us and what will not. If somehow she just knows you are not her type of client it truely is best she pass as to avoid any complications.
You wouldn't see someone who you were not interested in, why would you think it would be any different on this side.  
Seeing clients you are not going to have a good connection with can really be a total mistake in many ways. It can make longevity of this business for many woman much more pleasant.

Customer service?  If I choose not to see you, You are not a client of mine so there for there is no "customer service"
Bottom line...be sweet read her website reviews figure out if her personality is of your liking and then politely contact her.

I have had emails I do just delete, some r just way out there. And some men would have this additude, so responding back to someone I am not interested in is useless, and could be taken the wrong way.
Some people are just never happy is all there is to it.

what you may Not realize is that after fielding a ton and a half of phone calls emails pms and dozens upon dozens of aquantences, we are very good at knowing who is and who is Not a good match very simply by the tone of your voice, and your demeanor over the phone. In the first 10 words out of a callers mouth I usually have already made a decission to see them or not. And yes business is still good and although it has slowed in this economy, it always will be to the point where we can be selective.  Most woman in this business turn down more clients than we see. If to confirm your info it has to turn into several emails just to get the info out of you to screen you, thats not all I have going on in my life, and it can be like pulling teeth. Its often a waste of time.  I have reg Gentlemen who book in advance, are respectful and theres no run around involved. The simpler the better.

escorts with reviews on TER, the mean appearance score was strongly correlated with the mean performance score for the population of escorts. I always wondered if this said more about reviewers than it did escorts.

Advertised price was strongly correlated (0.77 in June 2006) with the product of mean appearance score and mean performance score raised to the 1.55 power. Appearance score alone gave a (much) better correlation than performance score alone. Incidently, the average of the scores was also not as good as appearance score alone. Only the product of the scores was better than appearance score alone.

What does it all mean? I don't know. I only did the statistics. Your guess as to the significance is probably better than mine.

Hey Pitt. I have to agree with you on this one. I state on my website that I answer all emails and I do. Even the ones I would not see. I keep a text file with standard answers for a number of genres of emails and it takes no time to cut and paste these in and send them off.

I reply with what I need and 80% of the time have no trouble getting it. Those that stall and mess around get one of my "template" emails and then I'm done with them.

If someone is going to take the time to email me, the least I can do is reply.

L.G. response about contacting provider
Posted by Bootzie58, 1/26/2009 8:44:07 PM  

Dear L.G.  I must say You are amazing  in your example of what we should write in our initial contact with the ladies.  I will use with your permission.  VERY succinct and complete thanks

It has been my experience that phone calls are better than email or txt msg.  Most providers do not like written corespondence of any kind.

ok fellas
from a well reviewed provider.one who is no spring chicken. i remeber how to make a first impression.
The email was much more informative then some I reciewve.
As there are many ladies all come in different ages,size,shapes and so does the way We screen.
I consider the first email phone call acceptable as a Hello type intro. I do not like a text. That means you know my number. I view a text as a immature way to contact me. If you can't afford the call. You can't afford my company.
So offering up that you are a verified gent. I believe was a plus. So you either got stuck in email hell,founds a busy provider, or a lazy one. Either way.try them again for you may never know what happened.