Dear LG;
  I got divorced 6 months ago and started hobbying a couple months later - I figured I don't have to worry about what the SO might say and just wanted to have some fun.
 when I hit the bars /clubs most women won't give me the time of day.  Yet when I go to a restaurant or any other public place after seeing a provider, I'm the one getting hit on and the receptee of various flirtations!  I know I'm in a much happier mood after seeing a provider and probably a bit more confident; but I wonder if there is something else going on.  Is this a common side-effect (to be hit on by civies) after seeing a provider - even if one usually "crashes and burns" when trying to flirt?

Dear Angus1540,

We've had a couple of threads on this issue in the past. The answer is, who knows? Maybe you have an extra spring in your step after an erotic interlude, or maybe your confidence is so upped that you don't give a damn and you act freer, happier, and with just a smidgeon more bravado?

The thing is, women are often concerned with small details when assessing a potential mate (however brief the mating episode, LOL). They can note things like a relaxed posture, an unfurrowed brow, corners of the mouth that are turned up instead of lips that are tightly pressed together, and of course, eyes that are clear and not squinting. After a man has ejaculated, he is often experiencing a rush of oxytocin, however brief. It's possible that you've got those lingering oxytocin effects which make you more relaxed and if not prone to socializing, at least not adverse to it. There are thousands of little micro-changes that take place within all of us after a good sexual experience, and those changes may be showing in your face and body.

Don't think of it too much - enjoy life and the fact that you can have guilt-free sex as much as you want to.

Let freedom ring,
The Love Goddess

I think its probably the smiling..The day I quit smiling is the day I don't wake up..

Women seem to be able to *smell* sex on a man from across a large room lol '

I do much of my hobbying by taking a 2hr break in the middle of the day and returning to work afterward. This is the same interval I often take for lunch.

My Administrative Assistant and some of the other ladies on staff react to me quite differently when I return from a tryst. Flirting, touching, even a few quick kisses...

My AA has actually come on to me quite agressively, which led to some intersting personal drama with which I will not bore you lol

The only thing that works *better* for attracting the interest of really hot women is having *another* hot lady on your arm lol

GTM

I have to say it works the same for me as a provider. I am happily divorced myself. On off days most men make nice eye contact smile and keep on walking. After an encounter, I can't keep them off with a stick. I think they can smell it coming off of my skin. The same guy who would have walked right past me will walk right up to me and ask me for a date. So, I know what you are talking about!

Dude, you're relaxed now, and hobbying has helped you do it.  The non-hobbyist is usually just out there trying too damn hard, and most girls can smell desperation on a guy from a mile away.

I've found that hobbying gives me a "safety net," if you will, whereby I know that one way or another, I'm gonna get laid. As a result, if I strike out in a conversation with a civilian, I'm not carrying around a bunch of needless pent-up frustration and worrying about my "game," etc., etc. Relax and enjoy the ride.

I think you hit the nail on the head!  Knowing I can get laid whenever I want to removes the "desperation factor" when I'm seeing a new civvie.

It may be that the news of your prowess got back to the bar before you.  You know those girls and gossip. LOL.

Seriously though, I agree that anyone just laid, guy or gal, has that "Special spring" in their step and confidence in themselves to approach a gal/guy they may not normally even just to talk.  I do!!!  

I ran into a gal I barely knew recently in my local hangout - Carrabba's.  Out of the blue this gals says to me "You've got that just laid look on your face."  I busted out laughing and replied "You must have it too if you noticed it on me."  We both roared in laughter then proceeded to relate to each other in detail our earlier escapades.  We've never been together sexually, but we always have that "shit-eating grin" toward each other when we see each other.  Kinda cool!

Since I've gone back to hobbying (in the past couple of years), I have noticed the side effects, especielly arround the women! The providers are deffinitly good for me & my morale!