It's been a while since I had last shared my life here.  I'm sorry for my long posts but it's the only way I know how to spill out my feelings.

I felt it is worth to come back and share more.  Here is the main topic painfully brought up a little more than a year ago:

http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion_boards/viewmsg.asp?MessageID=3643&boardID=20&page=

I received many thoughtful replies and I did feel the concern and appreciate it.  I did take the advice from LG to see a therapist a few weeks after making the posts.  That lasted about 8 weeks, I believe 10 sessions.  The result is I learned I'm not crazy or anything like that but that my symptoms are mostly depression and partly social anxiety, neither at levels which seemed to require medication.

After I stopped therapy, I came to the realization that my depression comes from loneliness and not the other way around.  I'm not alone because I'm depressed, I'm depressed because I'm lonely.  It's what I felt has been the problem all along and it just seemed to be reinforced in therapy.  I kept going in circles with the therapist - conclusively unproductive.  I would think sometimes we were getting somewhere which might offer me a resolution, but then we would return to the notion of "it's all in your head, get over it."  So I stopped.

Still, after therapy, I took all the advice and counseling to heart and worked on as much as I could.  I moved to a new environment, and cleared up issues I've had with people in my life wherever I saw communication problems.  I've become more assertive and am now regularly letting go of my concern to hurt the feelings of others if I feel mine (or my trust) are being exploited.  I've made many more friends and am regularly going out and being social and trying to expand the number of people in my life, even if just as acquaintance.  I find that I am now more regularly invited to head out with others and many are willing to come see me when invited.  I've gotten rid of many nostalgic knick-knacks and tried to refresh my life.

But after all this social improvement, I am nowhere closer to meeting a woman who has genuine interest to be intimate with me, or feeling like I am attractive enough to a woman for me to get any sense one would want to be with me, or even just date me.  I am still lonely, and thus I still quite regularly have strong feelings of depression.  The times I am with others and being social, the feelings are buried for a while, and when I am alone again they soon resurface.  There are times when a few days might go by when I'm feeling hopeful and optimistic, even if I remain without a companion, but soon the feelings come back and I don't know what to do.

Because of that, I've occasionally visited quasi-massage parlors for the physical intimacy, just to feel a woman's touch, but it's only a temporary means for me to subdue the feelings of loneliness and lack of physical intimacy from a woman who genuinely desires me.  It's a feeling that just can't be replaced.

In the link above, I'd made mention of a provider who I felt close to, and knew for certain it was still just a job for her no matter how she treated me.  We've since become friends and I no longer hobby except what I mentioned about massages.  I had thought the friendship was purely a polite arrangement, but she recently has stayed with me for a number of days (her choice, nothing arranged) and I felt very appreciative to have her in my life.  I am certain she appreciates me for who I am, but still I also see no genuine attraction, because she never seems drawn to me on her own in that way and the subtle advances I initiated were not accepted.  During her time with me, the friendship became nicer, but short of physical intimacy, even if I tried.

I was very aware of the possibility I might scare her away if I spoke of what I really want so I contained those feelings and simply enjoyed our time together.  She is recently single, still providing, but has given no indication to me that she would be interested in me if I pursued her beyond friendship, and rather seemingly willing to pursue a relationship with SOMEONE if one comes along but I am seem to be invisible to her in that regard.  Why would she put herself to be with me so closely and with increased trust yet disregard any indication from me that there could be more?  I've applied no pressure, have not insisted on anything, and am genuinely embracing her in the capacity she's willing to enjoy with me.  But she doesn't come on her own to kiss me or flirt with me, just occasional hugs and enjoyment to be with me.  I watch her lying next to me when we're sleeping and wonder what it would be like if she stayed and never left.  It makes me feel all the more lonely when she left.  She's staying with me again soon.

What I really want to do is grab her and embrace her and tell her I care for her, and let her know I very much would want to try something more with her, but in my gut I know that will not appeal to her at all and would just scare her away and I would lose even just the close friendship we've found ourselves in.  I feel in my gut that although she will hug me and kiss me on the cheeks and trust me and spend time with me and enjoy being with me, she will not go further, and even more so that hurts me inside that I know she will eventually become attracted to another man someday who I can't be and whatever semblance of comfort I get from her being around will disappear.  She was someone I previously had paid for sex, but she has also been the only woman I know of who has wanted to stick around the way she has.  I know I may be clinging onto the circumstance purely on the hope for more, but what else am I to do?  At least the times she's here I feel as close to normal as I've ever known, but when she goes I feel like the pit of my stomach is going to explode.

I want to know what LG thinks of my situation with this girl, or perhaps help me understand what it is, and also I will appreciate any responses about what I am sharing overall about my loneliness and inability to resolve it no matter what I do.  I don't know what more I can possibly do to find a way to find genuine companionship and the times I am alone are so unbearable.

I hope LG has some good professional recommendations for you.  In the meantime, let me repeat some things you've probably heard before, and maybe one or two things that you haven't.

It's important to remember that attracting members of the opposite sex isn't easy for MOST of us.  Maybe 5% of the male population has the sort of physical good looks to make women want to be with them, but for the rest of us, we have to develop ourselves into someone who is attractive to others.  And this starts with learning to be comfortable and happy with who you are.

The nasty little Catch-22 of attraction with the opposite sex is that the more we need and want it, the less likely we are to achieve it.  You've probably heard the cliche that women can smell desperation a mile away, and it's true.  But what they're really responding to is what you are subconsciously putting out there, and that is 100% a reflection of the way you are feeling about yourself and your situation.  

Whether you're needy, lack confidence, or want to be with a woman so bad you can taste it, all of that has to be held in check, or you'll never achieve your goal.  Especially since acting lonely is the best way to repel people- another of life's ironies.  Most of us want to surround ourselves with happy, interesting people, whether they're physically attractive or not.      

But for some people, the hardest thing to do when you've been alone for a long time is to not be, or act, lonely.  I also spend a lot of time alone, but I'm never lonely because I don't mind spending time with myself.  And the reason is I have so many interests and things I want to do that I'm never at a loss for something stimulating to do.  My alone time is when I indulge my interests, expand my knowledge, and do what I want to do, rather than what others want me to do.  As a result, I've learned to love being alone just as much as I love being with friends.

Because of this, I've developed myself into someone whose company women naturally enjoy, despite my bald head, average looks and way past-my-prime physique.  If you saw the women I've date you'd be shocked.  It's almost like the old joke- people look at them and look at me and think to themselves he must be rich or have a big dick.

Well, it's not a big bank account or dick that I have, it's a big presence.  I'm interesting, positive and fun to be with, simple as that.  Frankly, I've always disliked my appearance, and I know it's cost me many dates, but I've learned to move beyond the way I look in favor of developing the way I act- and not just with women or when dating.  Your success at work or other social activities will also improve.

You've got to accept that not every person is going to like you and not every woman is going to want to be with you.  In fact, if you're  like nearly every guy in the world, MOST won't be attracted to you- that's what makes it so special when it happens.  So your objective should to be to prepare yourself so that when those wonderful opportunities present themselves, you'll be ready to respond in a healthy, positive manner.

Like I said, sexual attraction is always a long shot and it's easy to dwell on the negative- especially if you've been rejected.  And believe me, I've been rejected plenty and sometimes it hurt for a long time when it happened.  We never know why we don't click with a particular woman, but if we're insecure about ourselves in general, we usually use those insecurities as the excuse for why we failed and it just reinforces our problems.  If I were just taller, more muscular, didn't have a big nose, had more hair, and on and on and on.

But every time I got rejected, I eventually had to stop my self-pity and suck it up, re-group and go forward.  I'd start by doing things with my friends that I enjoyed, and quit worrying about women- sometimes for a year or more if that's what it took!  In those times, I just did what made me feel good, although sometimes I also devoted myself to my career too.  

But then out of nowhere I'd run into a woman, and even if she didn't want to sleep with me, I made sure she at least enjoyed my company.  And that can get you an invitation into her circle of friends and the possibility to meet other women who might be more attracted to you.  Even if it doesn't, however, it's still fun to have someone to go to a movie or a concert with.  What you have to avoid, however, is acting like a caged lion ready to pounce on a piece of meat because you're so hungry for female companionship.  Women are very intuitive and it's an instant turn-off to 99% of them.  When you meet someone you like, approach it as an opportunity to make a friend, not a chance to finally get laid or be loved.  That will follow eventually.

Learn to be happy with yourself and people will naturally start to gravitate toward you- whether in dating or life in general.  A relatively small number may eventually even want to have sex with you, and even smaller percentage may want a relationship. Just remember, it's always going to be a long shot and don't beat yourself up when it doesn't happen.  

But one thing's for sure, if you're walking through life like an open wound, needy, lonely, and desperate, you may get mercy sex once every few years, but you'll never get what you really want.  Actually, this site can help you avoid that sort of desperation and it can also help you get comfortable around women and hone your skils.  JUST DON'T FALL IN LOVE WITH THEM!  That's only going to hurt you more in the long run.

I guess the short way of saying this is to attract, you must be attractive, and your actions and personality are what make you attractive- unless you're part of that lucky 5% who just have to show up to get laid.  Rest assured, your struggles are shared by most of the men on this board.  Dating doesn't come naturally to most men.  And frankly, if you haven't grown up with sisters or had a lot of female friends, just relating to women can also be a challenge.  I actually had to TEACH myself how to talk to women, for example, and I posted it here on TER 5 years ago and had many women tell me I was right on!

But the point is, you can learn to get better.  You can improve yourself in many ways that make you more interesting and attractive to people, and you can learn to enjoy time with yourself in the process.  The old cliche about being happy in the skin you're in has some merit, because when people see that, they want to be around it.

The key to being happy in life is to take responsibility for your own happiness.  You can't outsource it to someone else.  It's not a matter of meeting that special woman-  If I only could meet the right person I could be so happy etc.- Bullshit!  You'll never meet the right person with that attitude because you won't be ready when the right person comes along.

This approach to life has ramifications far bigger than dating, because if you can't be happy with who you are and take responsibility for your life, you'll never achieve what you so desperately seek.   Since you've said you're not clinically depressed, it's time to take charge of the situation and build toward toward the future you want.  Quit feeling sorry for the hand you've been dealt and quit hoping things will get better- make them better.  



-- Modified on 3/26/2008 7:06:18 PM

You have a great strength in expressing yourself well in writing.

I suggest that you find a web site where singles in your area are looking to meet othre singles for serious relationships (That is what you want, is it not?)

Write and express yourself as eloquently as you have done here, and fairly soon (1-2 years) you will find someone who is fairly compatable with you and I would guess that you'll get married if that's also what you are looking for.

This is exactly what I did some 30 years ago.  I ended up getting married and raising two kids.  Of course, like so many marriages, the sex dried up after a few years and I had to go and start hobbying to meet my physical and emotional needs.  Then my wife found out and I had to go through a bunch of BS and get divorced and lose most of the fortune that I had amassed till that time; but on the whole it was worth it.  

Now I'm in a wonderful long distance relationship with a provider and loving that.

In short:

Be carefull what you wish for, you usually will end up getting it.

Thanks for writing us and keep in touch.

Dear Marco Solo,
here's what LG thinks, short and sweet:

1. Read the posts of G2 and mrfisher, they contain a lot of common sense and wisdom;

2. Change therapists - clearly you're not married to this one.

3. Enjoy the time with the provider and see it for what it is - a type of friendship, of the non-physical variety. Watch out so that she doesn't take advantage of you though - no fixing her car and paying for it, no moving heavy furniture, no big favors, etc.

4. Take up hobbying again. If you can afford it, there's nothing wrong with getting laid. That penis needs a healthy workout by someone else other than Rosy Palm, or else you'll feel crappy on many levels.

5. There are a zillion very unattractive guys out there who enjoy the company of women. As to why, here are some possibilities:

a) They, for whatever reason, have developed some internal strength and self-confidence and have been able to put it to use, i.e. become comfortable with the idea that they aren't hot physically, but that they have something else to offer - kindness, HUMOR (goodness, a biggie), honesty and dependability.

b) They don't put all their eggs in one basket. They realize that women come and go and they don't idealize love relationships and put them above everything else.

Beyond that, I would still urge you to visit with a psychiatrist. I'm not entirely sure that your depressive feelings come from something external; oftentimes, biochemistry is a HUGE factor. Get a second opinion, please. I've had clients where life was quite crummy and they attributed it to boredom, loneliness, all sorts of things...and bam, they got on an antidepressant and their lives took a completely different turn. Doesn't hurt to solicit the opinion of another shrink, that's all.

Hope some of my advice and that of other posters will help,
the Love Goddess

Hi thanks for the replies.  Please don't think I'm being defeatist here based my replies to your points, I really do think I'm being rational based on my experiences and really am seeking rational solutions.

1. I read G2's & mrfisher's posts and they are very good points.  It's just that I've tried all of that for years and the results weren't any different.  It really isn't like I wear my feelings on my sleeve, but I can see how they could come through in various ways.  I think I've been much much better at showing a positive face for a while now, but have not seen a difference as far as women are concerned.  I have more friends and acquaintances but no matter how wide the net is cast, I'm not catching any fish.

2. I had a hard time finding and setting up an appointment with even that therapist.  I was put on a waiting list, then given someone who didn't match my needs.  I didn't have much options where I lived, I will try to see what is available in my new area.  The biggest hurdle I had there was finding one.  It may seem odd from the perspective of someone in the field, but there's no resource that seems to match the needs of someone trying to find the right therapist.

3. I'll do my best to enjoy my time with her.  She's never tried to take advantage of me or even ask for favors or money or anything like that.  It's to the contrary so I know she's not spending time with me to get something from me.  But I am confused because she's taking things further in closeness than any friend I've known, and what is lacking is solely the physical.  I understand that might mean much less to her given her profession but it does make me feel like a big part of something is missing, or maybe it feels that way given what I am craving on the inside.

4. I can't afford it.  If I had a lot more money, I would not disagree.  I always felt at least temporarily at ease being able to hobby in the past, but it's not a real option now.

5. I seriously don't know how such guys get to the point you describe.  I do feel I have a lot to offer and, though it may not seem that way in my posts, I've got an excellent sense of humor.  Never got me anywhere.  With women, anyway.

I should add that when I am around people who know me, they do like being with me as far as I can tell.  But I'm banging my head trying to figure out why this doesn't translate to being introduced to more women, getting real interest from women, or the feeling that a woman is seeking me out even just a little bit because there is a spark of interest.  I don't know how to describe this, it's like for everything else in life people see me and are there for me but for this one thing, companionship, I'm invisible.

Perhaps right now I need to focus on the simplest solution and find a therapist who will see my issues for what they are and prescribe an antidepressant of some sort.  Maybe something that will get me out of my own head.

Good for you, Marco Solo,
And please don't forget that you DO express yourself very well in writing...hence, meeting someone on an Internet dating site does not seem to be an impossibility!

As to getting on a therapist's waiting list, that's very frustrating and seems unnecessary. There are plenty of good ones around. Also, check with people you know. Yes, there is no harm disclosing to your friends that you need to go to therapy. Mostly, you'll get sympathetic concern and maybe even their take on what's going on. Having the support of friends or even acquaintances is not a bad thing!

Another way to approach it is to make an appointment with a psychiatrist directly for depression assessment. S/he can then refer you to a good therapist directly.

And do try match.com or something like it. Paradoxically, all that newfangled hi-tech modernism has resulted in something very old-fashioned and very positive - ladies and gents corresponding prior to meeting one another. I couldn't think of a better way to get to know someone and fall in love with their persona as opposed to their titties! And, for a long-term relationship, that's probably a very good thing!

Cheerio,
the Love Goddess

-- Modified on 11/14/2008 5:02:42 PM

I am one person who took fear of loneliness to its illogical extreme.   I was so afraid of women and of being alone, that I married the first woman who showed any real interest in me.   I did not think that I would ever get married, so i ended up married at 21.

Has it worked out?  Well, I am still married after 43 years.   But I had no ability to deal with women then or for a long time afterward.

The hobby has changed things for me.   For whatever reason, I seem to be able to deal with women I meet in the hobby on a different level.  Maybe it is because I am older, or maybe it is because I am not like the many jerks in this hobby.   I have providers who seem to genuinely like being with me, and a couple that i think actually love me.   It may take a while, but if you begin a relationship on one level--here as a hobbyist/provider relationship--it can rise to a different level.  You just have to be willing to take things as they come, and be willing to "pass" if they don't work out.

We've all responded to what you've told us, but none of us know what you look like, and appearance shouldn't be overlooked as you try to improve your social life.  We all think we look great, but sometimes we dont' see ourselves objectively.

I recommend telling a couple of your trusted FEMALE friends (forget the guys) that you're thinking about updating your look and ask for their suggestions.  I've always taken pride in my appearance, but when I did this about five years ago, the two women I asked didn't hesitate, and they both said the exact same thing- lose the mustache and get new glasses!  One of them even took me to the optometrist to help me pick out a pair, clearly not trusting me to not screw it up.

Then I asked my female barber if she had any suggestions and she told me to trim my eye brows (which she did).  Guess what, it was all good advice and I immediately followed their suggestions.

Just as I'd gotten attached to my 70's mustache over the years and over looked the fact it had become out of date, you may have a hair style or some other thing that's out of date or in need of a make-over, no mater how much you like it.  

Another thing I've done is take women shopping with me when I buy clothes for myself.  Every women I've ever asked has absolutely loved helping me pick out clothes.  Most women love shopping anyway, especially when you're paying, and are thrilled to help and pleased you asked.  After they've helped me, I always insist they pick out something for themselves as a little sign of appreciation.  Trust me, it's money well spent.

And when they say I think you'd look good in this, fight the urge to say that it's not your style.  Because that's female-speak for saying your "style" sucks, and this is what you should be wearing.  Plus, you're supposed to exploring a new look, not buying more of the old look.  Like I said, I've never met a woman who didn't jump at the chance to go to the mall and help me.  I've even had two secretaries take me to the mall on my lunch hour to pick out neckties!  Let's face it, for most women, shopping is like sex with your clothes on, so take advantage of their love of shopping and natural desire to tell men what to do.  

Plus, despite all that's been written on this board and elsewhere about personal grooming, I still know a guy who doesn't use deodorant, and guess what?  He's still single.  I also know a great guy (an engineer) with terrible teeth who spent 20 years complaining how he just couldn't find anybody who wanted to date him.  Well, he finally found a Chinese girl with equally bad teeth who needed a green card and she dated him.  But wouldn't it have been easier to just get his teeth fixed and save 20 years of dating hell?

As in the case of my friend's teeth, don't assume just because something doesn't bother you that it doesn't bother women.  No woman is going to kiss you if you have bad teeth or oral hygiene.  No woman is going to want to run her hand through your greasy, stringy hair even if you think it's cool and makes you look hip or sensitive.  No woman is going to ignore that you clothes aren't exactly fresh or pressed- even if you think they are fine.  And they won't tell you, (they don't want to hurt your feelings) they'll just avoid dating you.

As I stated previously, I'm not the world's greatest looking guy, but I've had four women in long-term relationships tell me they loved the way I smelled when they hugged me.  I specifically don't use an after shave (most of which make me want to heave), I just use deodorant soap and one of the powder scented deodorants (most of the male deodorant scents are horrible, BTW).   What they're really responding to is the fact I'm always clean when they're with me and I smell fresh.  And if they notice (and mention) when I smell good, you can be damn sure they notice when someone smells bad.  There's some proof to indicate that women's sense of smell is more acute then men's, so don't underestimate this.

These little things can make a big difference and shouldn't be overlooked by any guy.  Women are the target market, so ask a couple of them what they suggest, then take their advice.  I'm guessing they'll be thrilled to help you and there's no downside to you.  Plus, just the fact that you asked their opinion will really be appreciated, and once they've invested time in your new appearance, they may even feel compelled to help you meet some ladies.  

I once had a woman friend take me to a club and act as my wing man to meet ladies.  It was as easy as fishing with dynamite, plus, she did all the hard work and I didn't worry about rejection so much.   Even if women don't want to date you, most of them DO want to help you.  It's just an extension of their mothering instinct and you'd be amazed where it can lead.  I've known women for years as platonic friends that have helped me in all sorts of ways, even though we aren't attracted to each other.

OK, you've got a lot to think about so get to it and good luck!    

-- Modified on 3/27/2008 1:07:36 PM

When I first got out of college, I had exactly one sports coat that you wouldn't even want to wear to a dog fight (My platonic female friend's exact words.)

After I got some better threads, I felt better and more confident.  It still took a while to get things going, but it was a very necessary first step.

Above all, don't scrimp on the shoes. Be sure they are leather and kept clean.  It's the first thing the gals look at when they see you.  (I have heard this from many sources.)

The second thing they notice is the watch.  It doesn't have to be a Rolex, but something classic and for God's sake, make sure it has hands, not digits.

Please read G2's response carefully, it was beautiful and very insiteful.  Your loneliness is not the root of your depression.  The lonliness has it's own roots and you will always be lonley until you are able to dig those up...

Forget your relationship with this provider for a bit and look at your relationship with yourself.

"But after all this social improvement, I am nowhere closer to meeting a woman who has genuine interest to be intimate with me, or feeling like I am attractive enough to a woman for me to get any sense one would want to be with me, or even just date me.  I am still lonely, and thus I still quite regularly have strong feelings of depression.:

You don't feel that you are attractive, interesting, and you are lonely in your own company.  Your perceptions create your reality, which determines your response.  Soooo... with this truth in your life, how do you believe that others will see you differently?  You need to work on your love and appreciation of YOU, or you will never truely find it externally.  Worse yet, the dynamic that you create seeking these things for yourself will not only harm yourself, it is harmful to those you are trying to feed off.  Does that sound harsh?  It is.

Please email me if you have the interest and opportunity to chat more...
I promise to be more compassionate and loving than this brief post.
: )

[email protected]

-- Modified on 3/27/2008 10:54:58 PM

... from G2, Mr Fisher, and LG.  I'm not sure that I can add too much more, but a couple of things come to mind.

I'm wondering if you grew up in a family environment without female sibling - or perhaps a mother who might have been somewhat domineering?

Reason?  I didn't have any sisters, and had quite a bit of difficulty with the ladies up unto a certain point.  The thing I realized was that I was "putting the pussy on a pedestool".  Forgive me LG for saying this but women don't experience the world the same way guys do.  A guy who you might think is a total looser could be perceived by a woman, or women, as being very sexy.  And it's not so much looks.  It could be what they are wearing.  It could be how they react to children.  It could be a simple gesture.  The biggest turn on I hear from women is "confidence".  Women LOVE a guy who is confident - he could be a friggin cyclops but if he were confident and turn his disability into an asset, he'd be gettin' laid all the time.

I may be wrong, and forgive me if I offend, but I get the sense there may be a confidence issue here.  Thus, you may respond by trying to overcompensate or "reach".  But they harder you try the more you over-reach, and the more you will fail.

My advise to you is - beyond what everybody else has said - cast a broad net.  Realize that for every 10 or 20 new ladies you may meet, there may only be 1 who you might consider seriously for a relationship.  That does not mean your interest will be reciprocated.  But shrug it off - and move on.  That is confidence.  If you have the confidence that you WILL find a potential interest, sooner or later, you will in fact find it.  You just need to be positive, confident, and persistent.

This means that you are ALWAYS looking for a connection, but never explicitly so.  Especially in situations where you might be expected to be on the prowl.  I think the more you just try to be yourself - at all time - the more you will attract.

This may sound like a cliche', but I always get great inspiration from the song "Tubthumping" by Chambawhamba..."I get knocked down, but I get up again...no you never gonna keep me down".

It is so true.  Failure is not in failing, Marco.  It is failing to keep trying.  Success, in anything, is the collision in time of the elements of erudition, preparation, and luck.

Keep trying.

Good luck.

BS


-- Modified on 3/29/2008 9:02:34 PM

Marco,

All of the advice passed along on this thread has been right on...especially from G2 and LG.

I read a book a few years back called "The Game" by Neil Strauss.  Neil basically started an investigative report on the whole Pick Up Artist sub-culture.  The book is basically his experiences through that world.

What I learned from the book was that it's not about being the best looking guy or having the right pick up line.  It's about working on improving your self and learning how to become the fun, confident guy that people want to be around...(i.e. and women are attracted to.)

You can't go out and "find confidence."  Confidence finds you.  

G2 was right about the Catch-22, so don't play into it.  As LG touched on, start pursuing things that will build that elusive confidence.  

Whether it's G2's makeover suggestion, attending a Toastmaster's meeting to help with speaking up in public (hey...don't laugh, I'm serious), or even challenging yourself to spark up a conversation once-a-day with someone you've never met...all those things will get you out there in public and interacting.  And better yet, you'll be building confidence in how you present yourself to everyone...not just the women you'd like to date.

And finally, one more book suggestion.  Go read "The Secret."  I know, I know.  It sounds like a chick book, but it has some important lessons.  (I read it in a night, just before gift wrapping it for Mother's Day in fact.)

One of those lessons is to quit focussing on being lonely, it's only attracting more lonely feelings to you.  Focus on being social, out in public and having fun doing it.  And secondly, YES...it is a chick book...which means you will have something to DISCUSS, as she has probably read it already.

Get out there and have fun!!

BlacktoothGrin