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The Erotic Highway

LG: Your upcoming study of hobbying, etc. Is there research
channelguy 32 Reviews 8414 reads
posted

about the GFE ruining sex with a spouse / SO?

I've been thinking about how the intense sexual experience with a true GFE provider impacts men.  When you have sex with your steady SO I would assume most don't have that intensity.  Have you found that men have decreased sex with SO's?   Does it lose the excitement?   We all know that after a few years that is normal.   Are you documenting any differences in this area?

It's been a few years since I've had sex with my wife but I do know that after 25 years the normal patterns had set in, despite efforts to not have that happen.

I know my two favorite ladies provide supercharged experiences and I guess that's why we do it!

Lastly, I hope your study solves the perplexing issue of why slower drivers hang in the left lane.

Love Goddess7462 reads

Dear channelguy,

I think you underestimate the difficulty in getting complete strangers to answer ANY type of survey in the first place...not to mention constructing an instrument itself that has some validity in terms of the questions asked.

For people to get into such detail, you would have to do some measure of qualitative interviews in which anonymity could be slightly compromised. Yes, yes, I know, Shere Hite did mail-in surveys...and she was so criticized for the validity of her methodology that she hightailed it out of the USA and now lives in relative obscurity in Germany, of all places. And, since we're talking hobbyists who really do this on the sly, so to speak, they're not exactly too willing to freely share such details - not enough of them to make some statistical trend out of it anyway.

The study has not begun yet. You will see when it does, because I will be badgering all and sundry on every discussion board to participate. And, since there will be many, many questions, I will have to pick and choose, since the goal is for the charitable hobbyist to spend at least 30-45 minutes answering a battery of questions that have been carefully chosen. I don't think this question will be included, partially because of the operational definition of GFE. The construct is still not accurately defined and as long as it means something different to different people [even if I provide a definition, some may not agree,] a qualitative response may be needed. And my study will be quantitative, that's all I can reveal for now.

If you really want to know about decrease of enjoyment in sex with an SO, there are zillions of such studies. And all of them show that a majority of individuals of both genders experience A CHANGE in sexual excitement after a few years doing it with the same person. Many factors influence this change and depending on the study, you'll see trends in either direction. Do a search on Google Scholar for such studies and you'll get many return hits.

Have a great Sunday - we're breathing heavily from the bonfires around us in LA,
the Love Goddess



-- Modified on 11/16/2008 11:23:02 AM

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channelguy7220 reads

honest responses.  A big part of my career has been in marketing and I've had too many surprises that were driven by wrong research.

I was going to head to Pomona for the races but too much smoke down your way.

Keep a hose handy!

Best to you
CG

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sweetnicole17384 reads

hey LG
You may want to first take a survey of that definition of GFE and sum it up to what the majority sees it as. And when asking the question include the question to have the chosen definition in it. So no matter if they agree or disagree your question could be limited to what your study has defined as the general consencus of what is assumed to be GFE.

just a suggession

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Love Goddess8599 reads

Dear sweetnicole1,
Thank you for your suggestion. To "take a survey" however, is not that easy. To do a formal, scientifically validated survey needs zillions of steps - you need to design an instrument, validate it internally, externally, etc. It has to pass through an Internal Review Board, all sorts of things. And the construct of GFE is not what I'm after, alas. That will have to be done by someone else at some other university with lots of grantmoney to burn.

The question that channelguy asks is not what the study is aiming for - so again, someone else will have to spend resources on checking the decline of sexual attraction toward SO after exposure to GFE. Maybe UCLA is looking for research subjects - compensated in girlfriend dollars, LOL.

:-)
the Love Goddess

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sweetnicole15996 reads

I was in no way trying to minimize all the work that goes into "taking a survey" I do get it. You are not the only one here who has had to do research and so on. I am very aware of all the labor that goes into it. Sorry to have made it sound so easy I guess. I was just trying to make a suggestion is all and I guess I was way off.

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Bostonguy576711 reads

As I mentioned on the GD board, my attraction to escorts was a reaction to being bored at home, not the other way around.  I would be more interested in what sort of circumstances drive a man to see escorts. I know why I started but I have also read many posts here in TER from guys who see escorts, even have ATF's, but still love their wives deeply.

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channelguy7035 reads

by a private email conversation with a fellow TER hobbyist.  He is "somewhat upset" that his 20+ marriage sex was boring and that the hot sex of hobbying was (in his words) "ruining his marital sex."

The excitement of the different women and all that goes with that was all he had in his head (big one and little one) while he was with his wife.

Yes, he loves her, but the sex is different.  He fears that she also senses that and doesn't want that to occur.

LG is a professional and works at different disciplines than we do.  She can't generalize in her work, and we do that all the time on this board.

Oh...and GFE to me is:  She agrees to have sex when Oprah is on TV.  The ultimate compliment!

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Bostonguy576612 reads

I'm not interested in generalizations in the least. When I post here I prefer to relate factual events or opinions based on my experiences. I'm not prone to generalizing about the reasons for anything in the hobby. I'm much more interested in first-hand accounts.

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