We've all seen wannabes on SA who are clueless golddiggers, but this message I got today just floored me with how incredibly greedy and unrealistic she is. Here's the message she sent me.:
Hi ❤️
I am looking for someone i can give my focus too through a phone/picture conversation. I am not able to go out on dates or travel right now due to personal reasons. I would love to give my time and affection & make you feel special and happy. I require $1,500 as a weekly allowance which is a small amount for all this loving 😉 reply if your interested 😘😘😘
And here's my reply:
Hi Miss, while I admire your entrepreneurial spirit, I must remind you that your message violates SA's terms of use. You should know that their policies here state in part: "Never send or ask for money or gift cards before meeting. Report anyone who does." I'm NOT going to report you, that would be a dick move. I just thought you should know and change your approach before someone does report you and gets you banned from the site.
as I just did with 3 others today. Nothing personal, nothing emotional, I just think we need to dump the trash now and then lol. otoh, when the girl doesn't explicitly say she is strictly 'on line' - like with this one, it might be interpreted that she would go out on dates at some future time, I might just click past them.
Ok Karen.
Reporting the girls seem to get attention drawn to us. When I’ve reported women , suddenly I’m kicked off. I just block and move on. Don’t need the hassle
Very reminiscent of the SB from SoCal who I was in contact with a few years ago. I was merely shopping around for a quick hit on a trip out there from the East but she insisted on a phone call, so I thought, okay, fine, why not? It was a helluva conversation, I must admit. Very enjoyable, not sexual, but her expectation was a monthly phone only for which i would cover her $600 car payment. When I declined she called me selfish and insincere. Hahahaha!
I did wonder whether she was a scammer or simply naive. She actually replied nicely to my message and said "Thanks for letting me know! I'm new at this! 😘". So I think she's just a harmless newb with unrealistic ideas.
Another social media success story!
This is happening more. Some of these are blatant GPS, others have just been sold a bill of goods on the sugar life and have unrealistic expectations. I usually don’t report them. A lot of times I’ll just respond that if she is looking for say $1,500/week, that I would need to be meeting her multiple times a week given current ppm levels (which I wouldn’t be interested in seeing them that many times a week anyways). This at least gives her an idea that she is way over market for a ppm and helps her understand what a normal rate actually is. I’ve had a few respond with a thanks and most others are truly GPS and think they are truly worth that. There is quite a bit of these that are truly naive and don’t actually know what to expect.
The only time I reported an SB was about 7 years ago when an SB took my cash and literally walked out with it while I was undressing. Before you all start throwing shade... it was MY bad for being a stupid, trusting, overly horny idiot. But it's still stealing. For those of you who are still thinking I'm a fucking loser for trusting her, you are correct. But it's loses like this that helped me learn the difficult lessons I often try to pass on to less experienced SD's. Nothing teaches success like failure!
It was our 3rd time meeting. The first two were "get to know each other" non-BCD dinner dates and she had been selling me this sob story about an ex who beat her, running away from him in Texas to California, him chasing after her, finding her living in a double-wide with her aunt, beating her again and showing me the stiches on the back of her head as proof. Yes, my Captain Save a Ho mode was in full bloom! We agreed to an initial $700 for our third meeting to help her catch up on rent, car payments, etc., with an ongoing ppm of $350 after that.
When I got her to my place she was nervous having "never done this before" and not exactly finding it easy to trust a man. All "reasonable, given her situation," thought I. I showed her my cash, left it on the kitchen table, and took her to my bedroom. As my pants dropped and she got into position to start a BJ, she told me her phone vibrated and when she looked she said it was her boss (PT job at a mall store). She wanted to take it in private and left me, pants around my ankles, to walk to the living room, or so I thought. About 3 minutes later, she sent me a text with a BS apology.. "I'm sorry I just can't do this...". Of course when I went back to my living room, the cash was gone and the door to my apartment was wide open. I texted her back several times with "hey let's talk this out" messages. Of course, never received a reply. I even drove around the area (she had no car - I had picked her up) looking for her. Found her at a bus stop, but she wouldn't talk to me, just turned away and started walking. So I cut my losses, tried unsuccessfully to gather my remaining dignity and went home.
Of course I was PISSED!! I reported her to the site, described how she had set me up and stolen my cash, and even sent them screenshots of her texts. They took the report, gave some generic "we take these reports seriously" message, and then.............. nothing. Her profile remained up for months. I never got any additional messages from SA and that was it.
Since then, I don't bother reporting anyone. First, it doesn't seem to result in any action for the offender, at least female offenders. I see plenty of guys here and elsewhere who complain of getting banned for a never identified infraction. Second, I just want to stay under the radar of all SA admin and staff. Given the nature of PPM negotiations I typically have off site, I still see myself as vulnerable to being reported if a SB decides to she wants to. Even though they appeared to do nothing after my report, I still do not want to be the subject of any oversight. And as I think of it, my report was not claiming she's a hooker (their worst fear) just a thief (not their problem?).
So IMO, reporting TOS violations are more likely to bring more scrutiny on you than on her.
Last example - this time a much more recent experience. I was chatting with a local hottie for a few days. Her pics were clean (no reverse image search hits) and she seemed to have potential. Then she sent me a one line message: "Can you meet tonight for 1k?"
If I had responded agreeing or countering her offer to something else, I'd be reportable for engaging in quid pro quo talk. If I had sent some warning to her about cash requests, and Admin was monitoring, I could be seen as allowing quid pro quo talk. Reporting her was not an option for the reasons noted above. So I just didn't respond. Neither did I block her or "hide" her profile. I just left it alone. Now if there's the slightest chance she is just too new/naïve to know better, she may eventually send a new message attempting to try again, possibly at a more reasonable rate. But I doubt that will happen. In fact, it's now about two weeks later and her profile is gone. Blocked, banned, or deactivated - I have no idea. But she's gone.
Life is good
The Cat
This is a typical cash and dash. I had been conversing with a super hot slim mid 20s latina and she agreed to a BCD date in my trusty RV. She showed up on time, looked great, was willing to do anything I wanted, and seemed to enjoy the activities as much as I did. No great conversation, but that's not what I was there for anyway. I gave her the 200 we had agreed on and she left. Great success story, right?then we scheduled another date a week later. She showed up dressed really sexy again and I had zero spidey senses activated. But i had made the dumb mistake of leaving the 2 bens out in plain sight. I put up the privacy curtain in the front of the RV and she said she had brought some toys but left them in her car. OK. She went to fetch them, got in her car and started the engine and sped off! I was shocked! More so when I realized she had discreetly pocketed the cash when my back was turned. I guess the temptation was too much for her, but honestly I thought she was looking forward to the sex as much as I was. Oh well, lesson learned. Of course I never leave the cash out in plain sight any more. What's really dumb is that girls like her don't understand what they are losing by ripping us off. I'm actually very generous with those who are worthy of my affection and generosity. I have a wonderfully sweet and beautiful SB right now, who I've been dating for well over a year, who is so nice to me and so sweet that I sometimes feel like our sessions are a live action version of beauty and the beast. I've been mentoring her on investing and helped her set up an individual account with Vanguard. Today I gifted $1000 to her account as a combined birthday/Christmas gift. This in addition to the gift$ I give her every visit. The girls who are thieves are ripping themselves off!
Thieves in general end up with small potatoes.
Interesting story, to say the least!
I've never done cash, which does go a way in protecting one from such actions.
Although it seems to vary from other's reported experiences with SA - I've found the SA admin girls to be very responsive to complaints and generally very agreeable and helpful. Whether it somehow puts you on some 'target list' I doubt but YMMV. Although I have to add: I always throw in a disclaimer statement whenever a girl starts to discuss PPM in precise terms.
I never overtly discuss PPM on the SA private message system as it is even less "private" than TER's PM's lol
When a girl starting openly talking about PPM I always suggest that we take the conversation to voice, text or email. If there is a trail of you discussing "prostitution" via the SA message system it can get you kicked off permanently. It's not worth the risk just to see one POT.
For the record, I have only reported one girl and that was because she openly admitted to me that she was underage. I felt I had no choice but to report her. I didn't want some other poor fool to end up behind bars just because I "felt sorry" for some young, desperate girl.
...other than to add: going to voice, email or text offers you zero protection. Over the years, I've had SA request copies of all three as evidence. However, the reality is that the notion of PPM is difficult to avoid, and probably represents the norm for most arrangements. To protect my ass I just mention to the girl that PPM arrangements are not allowed by SA but perhaps we could discuss a less than weekly allowance scenario...and just for safety, I'm always certain to mix in the precise word 'allowance' into the conversation lol.
Fortunately, I've never encountered an underage POT, either on or off the site. But I agree that is an "Instant Report and Block" for me. And I'd take screen shots of the message she sent, as well as my report and block screens as well, just to make sure I have the digital evidence of my actions.
As for other possible reporting reasons, I've seen way to many well-meaning SD's get banned without any path back onto the site. Not necessarily because they reported someone, or they tried to teach or correct a POT SB who had sent an inappropriate message. In fact, most of the guys I've seen who post that they were banned had no clue why. So I don't want to risk having my account, no matter how well I adhere to the TOS, being under the view of any SA staff, ever.
Life is good.
The Cat
a bit naive partner
Like you, I choose my words very carefully on site as well as in texts and phone calls. I realize that all messages, including my voice, can be captured and reported.
In text and other offline messages I use terms like "allowance" in conjunction with "date" and never "sex." Or I will allude to "helping her with some bills" etc. It's certainly not perfect, but if I really get a vibe I'm about to be trapped and reported, I'll bail anyway.
My point is, and it seems others do not agree with me, that I don't want any direct contact with SA staff.
Ultimately, do what works for you.
Life is good
The Cat
Never mastered the TER messaging structure. LOL
But excuse me, if you thought this was directed to you.
I'm relatively new on here...but moderated a RW (Russian Women) board for a decade or so.
You and sweetman I would hope never to cross LOL
So enjoy both of your stories/reports/experiences
Your track record cannot be challenged and discretion is most assuredly the better part of valor. How do you parse your words to ensure you are on the same page for intimacy without using the "s" word?
My technique is simple: Start with general, non-specific terms and as she replies allow my language to get more specific - if she hasn't already done so.
An example might go like this - this is all OFFSITE - typically be text:
Me: Hi thanks for connecting. I'm really excited to meet you.
Her: Thanks, me too
Me: So I usually suggest we set up a brief public meet to get to know each other. If we click well, we can talk about arrangement details.
Her: How much allowance will I get for that
Me: Initially, it's just a short meeting with no expectations and no allowance. Think of it like an interview where each gets to see if they want to spend time with the other. Ok with you?
Her: Ok makes sense. (Then I suggest a place, day and time and off we go...)
OR:
Her: Can we just meet tonight. I'm super horny (this is a huge red flag - so tread carefully)
Me: Tonight isn't good for me, but we can set up a video chat later today to connect. Ok?
OR:
Her: Ok but if we like each other can we extend to a date? How much allowance are you offering?
Me: That sounds great! Allowance will depend on what we decide during our meet. How much will you need?
Her: (number) per meeting.
Me: Well that's a bit over my budget, but we can talk about it more.
Her: I'll need (hopefully smaller number) as a minimum, more if you want me to stay longer.
Me: Are you comfortable with intimacy on our 1st date?
Her: Yes - of course.
Me: Ok, let's plan on (location/day/time) and see how it goes.
So, depending on how the convo goes, I approach it slowly, at first just saying "intimacy" (which can be defined in many ways), then if she insists on digging deeper into that, I'll start asking her what she likes during intimacy. She'll often start naming various sexual acts... then it's all on. But I prefer to stay away from sexual details until we are face to face. There I can work to establish some rapport and judge her possible comfort level with me. There's all kinds of past posts on negotiating techniques so I won't go into that here.
Note that this is what works for me. There are others here who will say they skip all that bullshit and just work out the amount by text and meet ASAP. They are correct - for them. You will need to work out your own best practices. Just grab your thesaurus and choose words carefully until you know she's legit and not BSC or a scammer.
Keep posting your experiences here, please. We all learn from each other's successes and failures.
Life is good
The Cat