....men who ask for "specials" or "discounts"....

I with ya on that Zayzha but my number 1 turn off is men who  show up unclean


"K-Mart Blue Light Specials on providers today only"

Hey Let's go to the Flea Market and find us some "specials" and maybe on the way we can stop at some yard sales and see if there are some providers  throwing some "specials" out .


I just think it confuses everyone when  there are specials and when men continually show rudeness by asking over and over again .

Sad but True !!

Gotta good point there  .. I am always looking for a good "deal"  .And anyone that has known me for any length of time knows I am always  more than accomodating with my  "deals"  .. But I never run public "specials" . However, we are not in the "retail" biz

-- Modified on 10/30/2007 4:12:05 PM

doctors, lawyers, medicines and especially someone that you plan to get physically close with.

My daughter wanted me to skydive with her and I said sure....she said if we go this weekend, we can get half-off tickets....I said HELL NO!, I want to pay full price for my ticket! (true story btw)

Why in any rational frame of mind would anyone ask a provider for a special or discount?

Which part of the experience would I want her to leave out--  what would I possibly win by having any part of her attitude or grace toward the session diminished?

We're paying for a special illusion- it has gotta take a good frame of mind for the provider to provide..........

but the two things about people and assholes
people will be people
assholes- everybody's got one!

-- Modified on 10/30/2007 4:32:06 PM

I don't blame you one bit.

I don't know about the "specials" or "discounts" thing, but men turn me off big-time!  We have so much in common.  Are you a Sagittarius? LOL

I provide a service for a fee also, and I usually experience someone asking me to reduce my fee as a more of a power play; demeaning, rather than bargain hunting, especially when they pull up in car much better than my own.

Assuming of course that your don't offer wholesale rates for volume groups...
-J

I think it's something you'll always have to deal with.  Hopefully, it just becomes easier to be firm and stand your ground.

Lots of guys don't want to pay retail for anything, including companionship.  I believe they don't see it any different than getting that extra 100 off the car.

I'm in the retail business and I try to price my services to be fair and honest.  There are always ones that try to grind me down, it's just the way it is.  A funny story I have is about a provider that is FIRM on her HDH prices actually tried to grind me down for some product and then wanted to trade labor for companionship.  How different things are when they are turned around. LOL

In closing, just tell them to take a hike if you don't want to do that.

Men who ask for "specials" or "discounts" aren't as bad as those who TELL YOU what you worth.

They either think you don't know the market rate, or tell in very clearly you are not worth it.

Trust me that's a bigger downer.

###

Example:
I like chinese women the most and I would like very much to have you over at my place .

I am a man in my mid forties fit and of good looks. Generally one hour is more than enough for me. I would love to try your company but I am willing to pay no more than 200 $ for that hour.

I have been in Singapore for more than 10 years and the normal rates are 150-200 (and cheaper) .On the contrary of other people I prefer to meet early in the evening and not late at night.

Again I would love to have the chance to meet you so kindly let me know if this is of interest for you .

MY REPLY
You have a right to tell me what you are willing to pay. And I have the right to say no. I say no.

Good for you Jade!  Unfortunately whether it is money for a service or how we let people treat us, we sometimes errantly lower our worth by what we are willing to accept!

-- Modified on 10/30/2007 6:56:23 PM

Response next time asked for a discount:

"Sure I'll give you a discount. Which part of the session were you looking to leave out, my enjoyment or yours?"

Maybe that will give him a clue. I live outside of LA, about a 2hr drive each way (more with traffic). I know what every minute away from my child is worth. I'm not an assembly line, I hand-pick my Friends and each visit is very special to me. Asking me to accept less than I ask is only one more reason to hang out in my PJ's at home all day and have tea parties with teddy bears. Amazingly fulfilling, those tea parties...

-- Modified on 10/31/2007 10:47:21 AM

-- Modified on 10/31/2007 10:47:52 AM

Even on my website, it says not to ask for discounts. If I'm offering one, I will post it. Some men are so cheap. You couldn't pay me enough to see those guys.

Hugs,
Ciara

-- Modified on 10/31/2007 12:03:37 PM

I don't think they hold anything back in the way of services either despite the fact they're making less than full rate. Asking for a discount would be gauche though.

Does your doctor, lawyer, or accountant give you "specials"?

I'm gonna get hammered for this, but so be it.

I am in retail, and every single day someone wants to pay less than asking price for something.  Sometimes I say yes, others I say no.  Either way I am not offended as long as they're decent about it.  The guy (or more typically, lady) isn't being impolite, disrespectful, or rude simply by the act of asking.  They're just looking for that elusive "deal".

In the example that jadetan quoted, the guy was civil and polite, and he made his request in advance instead of springing it on her in the room.  Granted, she didn't like what he was saying and she was perfectly justified in turning him down.  I just don't see the problem.

Now the guys who shorts the envelope or shows up with less cash than agreed on, that's a whole different party.  There is intent there to cheat you and that is inexcusable.

Having said that, for those of you who aren't yet bleeding from your eyeballs  from the raise in blood pressure, Absolutely NONE of the above ever has or will apply to me as your customer.  The posted rate will always be in my envelope, and I pay it happily.  You see, I do indeed understand the nature of a service industry, and frankly, I want you as happy with me as possible while we're together, LOL.  

Posted under my "real" name, so anyone who has added me to their Do Not See list, please shoot me a PM so I won't bother you with the request.

-- Modified on 10/30/2007 9:59:45 PM

-- Modified on 10/30/2007 10:00:44 PM

Two people have to agree on a price for every transaction.  There's nothing wrong with bargaining as long as it's done BEFORE the provider and hobbyist meet in person.  What's the harm there?  The hobbyist has the right to ask, and the provider has the right to say "No."  

It works the other way, too.  Providers can upsell, and it has happened to me once.  I had scheduled a session with a provider I knew fairly well (we'd met several times).  After we made our arrangements by email, she asked politely if it would be alright if I paid her more than usual for this particular session, as she was experiencing some expensive legal difficulties at the time (not related to the hobby).  I agreed.  And that was it.  No drama.  No outrage.  No bullshit.  It was my choice.  I could have said yes or no, but I said yes.  So what's the big deal?  It's like placing a limit order for a stock: you might get your price, or you might not, but there's no harm in asking.

Having said that, I should note that I don't haggle or bargain in this hobby, because it would REALLY kill the mood.  But I don't begrudge people who want to look for a sale.  I've also worked big-ticket retail, and I can tell you bargaining was the rule, not the exception.

-- Modified on 10/30/2007 10:43:52 PM

one is if you wish a lady's company for a time period that she does not list or provide a time for.  Another is if you wish her to accompany you to a work event or evening where no "extras" are included.  

Others?  well, there are others... but really - if it is not on a menu somewhere - that would be open for a two-way dialog to be sure that both sides feel that they are in a fair exchange.  no more, and no less.

-- Modified on 10/30/2007 10:48:55 PM

Awwww come on..I am a provider..and I dont love that question either..in fact when I hear it..I am like Ohhh noooo..LOL..but really now, does it really shrivel the tulips?

 I honestly dont blame them.  I mean you cant blame a guy for asking..BUT the other side is..if the guys already know the ladies rates, and she hasnt posted any special rates..then they should be prepared to pay it.  What I really hate is the guy that calls me up to see me, asks if I am offering a discount, and when I say NO, he says he cant book..and its because I am not offering a special rate.  That irks me.  If you didnt read it anywhere on the boards, then NO I am not offering a special rate.  

 There are ladies though, who when sked will knock off 20.00, so there are guys out there who will ask. I dont really view it a s a turn off..it is what it is.  Hey when I go buy a car, I always try to get the best deal..and I ask them or talk them down.  I am certainly ot comparing myself to Ford, LOL..but  we are offering a service..and the guys are shopping around and always looking for the best deal.  

 Honestly and thankfully I dont get many guys that ask for a discount, and I am truly thankful for that.  In the beginning, I set my rates, becuase that is what I wanted for my "companionship".  Again, truthfully, I would rather the guys just not contact me at all if he is going to try to see me for cheaper, but I understand why they would ask.  It never hurts to ask.

 Take Care..amd Happy Halloween!

-- Modified on 10/31/2007 12:06:47 AM

You are very reasonable and realistic (not to mention beautiful, of course).  I hope all the providers here are reading this, because you can all take a very valuable lesson from Sidney: you don't have to accept a "low-ball" offer, but you also shouldn't be offended by it.  Believe it or not, ladies, your ass isn't made of gold and your companionship ISN'T priceless!  

It's so funny when providers talk about how it "turns them off" when clients haggle over their prices.  Newsflash: you aren't on a REAL date, and YOU aren't the one who needs to be turned on in the first place!  Let's just be honest: providers tell us that negotiating turns them off so that they can avoid a certain aspect of the business world that's a reality for everyone else.  Believe me, if jewelry stores and used-car-dealers could put an end to haggling just by saying that it "turns them off," they would.

And I find it truly hilarious that Zayzha, in particular, would remark that negotiating is a turn off.  Didn't she just recently remark that only two men could ever hold her interest sexually?  So what else turns her off?  I'm guessing the answer to that question is "almost everything that's attached to a penis." LOL

Any lady doesn't like to be treated retail.

and when will you favor the NY gents with a visit?

When I was a regular CL poster, I'd get bargain hunters and deal-chasers up the wazoo!

One guy wanted to pay me $100 for one hour

Yet another insisted on seeing me for free. A couple of guys said that $150 for an hour is "too much".

It gets worse: another dumbfuck asked me if I could see him...for $20 (full service with greek.)

WTF!!!???!

I kid you not, that's what an actual "hobbyist" said to me. In my case, the rates were in my ad...but yet they kept on asking for a bargain.

ACK!

and then when he's got his BVDs around his ankles, pull out a vise-grip and attach them to his gonads. It will teach him that the credit manager's name is Helen Wait. He's not eligible to Helen Wait.

Like I stated to some of the ladies, I think it is a total turn off.

Currently I am running a "Halloween" special. I rarely, if ever, run specials but I decided to do a two day one.

It's for 90 minutes or one hour. NOT an hour. I wanted to be able to spend more time with my gentlemen if I'm offering a "special" but invariably I get the one guy who wonders why I'm not running a special on the one hour too. Why???

Because I don't want to. If I did, I would have posted it. It says right on my website not to ask for any discounts. I offer them at irregular intervals. Like my dinner, movie and naughty time date which is $700. That's about 6 hours of time, but I want to spend it like a pretty real damn date. I have gone on them before, and we have a great time, and the sex is usually much better.

Do I feel "cheapened" by the fact that it's a date on a special? No, if I did, I wouldn't offer it.

Couldn't have said it better myself.  So long as the guy is discreet and/or respectful about it, what's the big deal?  All you have to do is say NO.

Classy and firm.  Well done.

and the reason you keep it cheerful is to keep it moving, and not get bogged down in unprofitable BS.

We should start a business philosophy forum.

If you have no insurance, Doctors will negotiate a cheaper fee.   Lawyers can be negotiated with.  Medicines get cheaper as you purchase more, and some pharmacy's will negotiate prices for those with no insurance.

So everything is negotiatable.  

Anybody who thinks differently is living in fantasyland (which reading some of these responses from men they seem to be)

Look, I have had discounts from many of the women I have seen after seeing them a few times.  It is either brought up by me in a question such as "I am a little short of $$ this time, can I owe you for next time?" (I really was short of money), and the response was "Forget about it this time and lets lower the usual rate to that for now on."   Like a good business person she realizes that repeat business is worth so much more than new customers.

One visiting woman I saw in Boston had not posted on her local ad that she had a half hour price (like she had in her local town).   I asked her about a half hour rate, and has nicely told that she did not have it available in Boston.  I responded nicely that I did not have an hour, and that I guess I could not see her since I did not have the time for an hour, and said thanks.  A few minutes later my phone rings, and she asks me if I wanted a half hour appt?  I know that she offered the half hour to me because I was respectful and not a mean to her.

But honestly reading the first poster messages, she seem to dislike her job completely.  

-- Modified on 10/31/2007 7:25:36 AM

and particularly by seeing it from the other side.

If you want to negotiate with a doctor, it seems to be a matter of insurance.  You offer him the right deal.  It's money to him, just make it easy for him.

Same with lawyers.  Lawyers can't anesthetize you - make it clear that you aren't a nut, you can be reasoned with, and you don't have to be told 3X to produce your birth certificate.  The reason they charge hourly is precisely because they don't know how much of a PITA you're going to be.

As for providers, it seems to me that the moment before dicking her is not the time to let her know how little you think of her.  Offer her what she needs well in advance, so she knows she'll come out well enough.

Actually as posted below, many doctors will lower their fee if you do not have insurance if you pay cash instead of having to spread the payments over a long period.   Accountants will discount their rates for long time customers.  Lawyers fee's can always be negotiated.

Look, everything in life is negotiable.

It reminds me of the joke:

A man walks up to a beautiful woman in a bar and says:
"Would you sleep with me for 1 million dollars?"

She responds with a resounding: "YES!"

He then ask if she woule sleep with him for $100.

She responds: "What do you think I am, some kind of whore?"

He responds: "We have already extablished that.  We are just negotiating the price."

I fail to see how a question asked way before the session "kills the mood"?   What mood does it kill?

I have heard this many times, and am sick a tired of hearing it again.   To me the things that kill the mood are the attitude of the provider who believes she is "worth xxx amount of money", and anything less than that (even after a multitude of visits) is simply unacceptable.  Why is X amount of dollars what she is "worth", but X-20 dollars and she is not worth that?

But of course she has the right to refuse any amount she wants, and we have the right to not see her.

But as I pointed out the first poster is not someone I would ever see since she seems to competely dislike her job.

You were, in the first case, asking for some credit as you were a regular customer and were a little tight at the time.  You did not ask for a discount; nevertheless she offered same.  No harm, no foul.

The second case was your right to ask about a half hour and her right to accept or reject.  She ended up accepting.  That's still not a haggle.

To haggle is to say that you want to pay less than the rate she posts.  To come on like this, especially if she states right out that she won't haggle, is disrespectful.

I have had a provider offer me extra time or an outright reduction in price for a multi-hour session when I said it was a bit too steep for me; but I never asked for it.

Good things come to those who are patient and respectful, emphasis on the latter.

your work is punishment enough.  

Again, the issue is whether or not the provider stipulates that there is to be no negotiation.  If so, that's the end of it or you'll likely hear a click.

If that is not the case, I would still hesitate to contact someone on that basis, but it must be done in the most polite and respectful way.

We are not talking washing machines but real breathing living people.

Lovely reply.  I would never "haggle" nor negotiate.  If the lady reduces her fee for a "special"  I'll join in if it's convenient. An unusual circumstance recently arose where a stunning companion went indie, and offered a recuced rate $250 to a group of us guys.  When I contacted her she quoted me $500.  My gentlemanly response was no reply, and a pass.

Oy vey ist mir (Oh woe is me.) was what she would say if I pulled a pan full of blini off the stove onto the floor.  (Which I did do, by the way.)

I know this is only a business transaction, but I have to pretend it's a "romantic" encounter during the session, or it won't work.  I'm not really worried about THEIR mood; if I were so concerned about THEIR feelings, I would just hand them the money and leave without touching them (which is what they'd prefer, trust me).  No, it's my fantasy that's being bought and paid for, and haggling would ruin it for me.  

If there's a lady who is offering her services for $$$$, and I don't want to spend more than $$$, I'll just pass.  This is actually a form of negotiating, because we are withholding our purchases until prices come down.  Prices CAN move BOTH ways, up or down.  We've had an upside/inflationary bias in prices in this country ever since the end of the Depression (during the Depression, prices persistently fell), but deflation can happen.

Aug5, I have seen your numerous posts to this topic and like to point out how
1) you have expressed your point in various ways but mostly just laughing and joking about it
2) you do not seem to have taken into account the thoughts and opinions expressed by providers

You are not in our shoes and do not understand that it is NOT funny having guys asking for discounts, rebates and telling you how little you are worth on a DAILY basis. Escorting unlike retailing is much more personal. When somebody says you are not worth X amount despite you saying it is non negotiable, it does hurt depending on how you have hardened yourself to it.

Granted we put ourselves on the market, we do have feelings. A little empathy and maturity on your part would have been appreciated. Not everything is a joke.

I'm sorry, but I fail to understand how this is a problem.  First off, if I negotiate, I am not telling you how little I think YOU are worth... I am telling you how little I think your "private parts" are worth... for an hour.  I mean, please, have a little self-esteem, and put this into perspective.  No one is saying you shouldn't have any feelings at all, but if you really are such a delicate sensitive flower, perhaps this is the wrong business for you.  Believe me, EVERYTHING is negotiable.  A system in which prices are set in stone and can't be negotiated is not capitalism, not a free market.  Each participant in a transaction should be free to make offers and counter-offers.

But ok whatever.
I am done with talking with you on this topic.