After fucking this ass freak in the ass my condom was covered in shit.

I used to go to this place nearby to get a massage. Usually once a month. I didn't even know what a rub and tug was at that time...

I walk in one day for my appointment. I trip over the entry rug and fall down flat on my face. As I get up, I am nose to chest with a Narcotics officer. He asks "so, you here for the extras?" I had no idea what the fuck he was talking about.

Assuming he was there to make drug arrests, I replied that I wasn't there for anything that would get me into trouble with him, and that I don't do that kind of stuff. I told him I would pee in a cup to prove it. Once I said that, he let me go.

The next day I read in the paper about how they were busted for hooking...

Luckily, the cop realized I was ignorant...thinking it was a drug raid, not a sex sting.

-- Modified on 1/27/2013 4:18:21 PM

Before I hobbies I was fucking a squirter and everything was getting soaked while in doggie, then out of nowhere she reached between her thighs and put me in her ass. I had never done this and was surprised but I went for it. I continued pounding and came inside her, we layed there for a couple minutes before she jumped up and ran to the bathroom holding her ass, leaking my cum and a little something extra....while she was in there I quickly gathered my things and left.

I'm sure a lot of responses to your posts will be BP related. I was stood up by a provider I had scheduled through TER, and I was all worked up (it was the last day of a long business trip). So I called a girl on BP, when she showed up not only was she not the girl in the ad photo she was another race. I was upset, I mentioned that she was not the girl in the photo and she said she did that for security purposes. So, I gave her $20 for gas and asked her to leave. It's pretty bad when you pay a girl to leave without having any fun, but the whole thing made me very uneasy. Don't take me wrong I'm not a racist, but if someone misrepresents themselves to that extent then I'm not interested in any type of intimacy with her. I made a mental note that the only way I'd see a provider from BP again is if she is well reviewed here. I've been very lucky, I've seen some awesome women from here, but we make our own luck. It's the same for us as it is for providers, if I can't verify her, I shouldn't see her.

(had she not answered, likely to get a frantic visit) and had a major fight with her sister...  leaving her in tears.  I tried to be understanding but felt I needed to give her some space.  I got up from the bed, thinking to use the bathroom & grab my clothes & take off.   As I get up she almost snarls, "Where are you going?"  I lied, said, just using the break to hit bathroom.  
I stayed gone until the call was over but she had totally lost her focus.  (Sister had taken over her appartment, neglected to pay the rent & landlord was after provider whose name was on the lease.)  
We talked a while & she did finish the session but her mind clearly was not in it.

Went out with a friend for dinner and drinks. Very kinky man I have seen many times. We split a nice bottle of wine, I had lobster him steak with all the trimmings. He enjoyed feeding me as much of his meal that I could swallow and encouraged more. God, my stomach ached and was ready to explode yet he insisted on dessert and coffee.

Our walk back to the room was laughable as he said "don't throw-up till we get up to the room". I chuckled and said lucky I don't have an eating disorder or I'd go stick my finger down my throat. "I did say this man was kinky" He looked up an winked at me with that comment and grabbed my hand to feel his hard cock. What is he up to now I thought.

In the room he asked for one of my shower curtain liners out of my rolling toy bag. Couldn't be another golden shower that is too straight for him these days. Well we made out for a bit and he pushed on my tummy to make me burp. "how lady like"  Then he wanted me to lay on top of him to do 69> My stomach started heaving and I said i'm going to be sick.

OK "turn out if you don't have a strong stomach now"

He had me stand over him and vomit all my dinner all over his cock while he jerked off. Took 10 minutes to empty my belly of food and the same for his cum.

I have known this man for years. He's from Germany where weird is common place when it comes to foreplay.

Kisses Haley

When you start a thread like this, you are supposed to start with your own experience! Don't you know the rules?

Several come to mind for me:

The time we were doing it in a car and the lady opened the door to spit out my cum and some guy was standing there.

The time a provider and I walked into her hotel to be greeted at the lobby elevator by a uniform cop!

The time I cut my lip shaving preparing for my date. (Cut badly- it wouldn't stop bleeding.)The provider was understanding and we still made the best of it, but there was no kissing, no daty, and I left blood stains all over her pillow case!

-- Modified on 1/27/2013 1:00:34 PM

My most embarassing & scary story was with a SW in NY

Many years ago (before there was the internet) I used to see a nice blonde street walker "Tiffany" in NYC regularly. One day as soon as she gets into my car and I hand over the $ an NYPD car comes around the corner. I start to panic - but Tiffany says "just give me your drivers license" which I promptly do. She gets out and strolls over to the squad car and leans in. I am sitting there shitting my pants and I see that she and the guys in the car start laughing. A few minutes later she walks back to my car and hands me my license and a parking ticket and says "gotta go" and walks quickly away. As soon as she walks away the squad car pulls up alongside and the officer just says to me "you're not allowed to park here, move on". I breathe a huge sigh of relief and head straight home.

Couple weeks later I'm out "trolling" again ("good habits are hard to break") and I see my Tiffany and I ask her about that incident and why everyone was laughing. She looks at me and says the LE had asked her
"Hey, Tiffany what did you do to that poor guy to make him look so scared? Did you  threathen to bite his dick off?"
We laughed as I drove to her to our usual motel and then banged her socks off!
(On a personal note she was my first ATF, first and only SW that I ever dared to DATY)

Ok..this is something that probably goes better on the erotic stories board...if only it weren't so pitiful.  

It is a bit lengthy...but, I promise there's a payoff in the end :P

I was partying in college with a few of my fraternity brothers.  I had hit it pretty hard the week leading up to this particular party...so, I was in social-drinking mode....not aiming to get tanked on this particular evening.

The younger sister of one of my frat brothers crashed our party with a few of her friends.  They showed up to our soiree after hitting the pre-party, the party, and the post-party.  In other words..they were drunk

Night progressed and most of the party-goers hit the end of the liqueur and consequently...the party was dying a slow death.  

My buddy asks if I can drive his sister and her friends home since everyone besides me was still pretty lit.  So..I acquiesce.  Fast forward a bit...i've dropped off everyone but my friend's sister.  We're a little ways away from her dorm at this point.  Unbeknownst to me...she's been nursing a crush on me for a while.  And...the combination of the moment and her lowered inhibitions told her this was her chance to get my attention.  She turns to me from the passenger seat and says in a very cute...yet still drunk sorta way..."I don't want to go home yet".  So...we don't go to her dorm..yet.  

Long story short...we end up out on the side of some country road in the boonies.  It was sort of secluded in that it was dark out and the closest sign of civilization was a farmhouse down the road.  She convinced me to spread out a banner painted on a white bed sheet I had in my trunk so that we could lay in the field next to the car and "look at the stars".  How romantically droll.  Either she failed basic astronomy or she was trying to see the stars reflections in my eyes or fillings or something (she never once looked at the sky).  We were hot and heavy into a nice little make-out session when she suddenly goes for the gusto.  She had my pants open and my cock in her mouth before I new what had happened!

I was so shocked I didn't know what to do at this point.  I just thought...my friend is going to kill me if he ever finds out.

That's when the police car decided to show up.  Reds and blues full on...spotlight shining right at us.

I didn't realize it...but, she had completely removed her own pants while going down on me and her ass was pointed straight at the police car!!!

So..there we are..my dick hanging out with her sucking on it like it was the fountain of youth...her naked from the waste down....police spotlight making sure no one missed the action.  I had to grab her to even get her attention...she didn't even notice the area suddenly awash with bright glaring light.  

Fortunately...it was a show for three as no one else was around.  But that did little to assuage my embarrassment.  

My mind suddenly started working again...so, I shoved my now-limp member back into my pants being careful not to recreate any scenes from "there's something about mary".  Then, I pick up the sheet and hold it up as a sort of privacy guard while this half-drunk little nympho puts her pants back on.

Once dressed...we tried to just get in my car and drive off...but...no dice.  Uncle LEO wanted to talk to us.  He let us off with a warning not to trespass again and to keep our fun indoors from now on.  Phew...what a break!

And if that wasn't enough...

I drive her straight back to her dorm and I'm walking her to her door from the nearby parking lot.  Her brother (my frat bro) happens to live in the same dorm.  

It would be just my luck..here he comes from the other end of the building towards the door with a couple others from our party.  I'm sure it was the lingering effects of the alcohol...he didn't put it together (that he mentioned) that I was just now reaching her dorm over an hour later when it was easily a 5 minute drive from my apartment/party.

Just then...I notice that her panties are hanging out of her pant leg.  in her rush to re-clothe herself...she decided to go commando or couldn't find them or something.  Regardless...I'm now mortified...

My friend is going to see her panties and know something is up.  In a jerry lewis moment of inspiration...I fake the mother of all pratfalls having tripped over thin air...

While everyone is distracted asking me if I'm okay...I swipe the panties from her pant leg and stuff them in my pocket.

The evenings events never came up again.  To this day, I don't know if he knows..if she told anyone...etc.

We had 2 guys to a room sharing a bathroom in between.  One Sunday morning, this middle aged lady in a fur coat, dressed to the nines...  is coming down the hall reading room numbers!  She's looking for her son in the adjoining room...  who is still in bed with some girl.  We sent the old lady to another dorm while we banged on the connecting door.  We ended up with said naked girl, a sheet & her clothes in our room.  And Moma hadn't taken long to figure our stalling tactic & was right back.  We turned our backs to let the poor thing get dressed & one of us drove her back to her school.

I'm 18, living in my Greg Brady apartment in my parents basement. They go away for the weekend, so I have the girl I'm seeing sleep over. She's not so pretty really, but a truly bangin' body. We sleep in on Sunday, totally mess up the kitchen with breakfast, and then are showering together when my spidey-sense starts to tingle. Sure enough, parents are home early. I grab up her clothes from the floor, stuff them into her arms along with a bath towel, and say "GO! Go out the cellar door!" Our long curved double driveway would keep my parents from seeing her car.

So she runs downstairs and throws open the exit door, and my 13 year old brother is standing there, coming in the back way. His jaw and his suitcase hit the floor, she drops her towel, perfect 36 Ds jutting out like warheads and nipples standing at attention, then yanks on t-shirt and jeans and runs by him. I'm upstairs chatting up my parents and explaining away the mess, he comes walking up, steps over in front of me and says "you're my hero" and goes to his room. My parents were like "what was that all about?" Nothing. mom.

or be talent search for Mary Povic type show. Would be thrill for you.

Were doing it half undressed...  Her pants were down, my pacts were down...   lazy doggie on the couch in their downstairs play room.  We were only partially obscured by the pool table.  Her step Dad comes down stairs calling her name, looks into the room...  says nothing...  proceeds to look in her bedroom down the hall.  By the time he was back, we were zipped up, barely!   Apparently he didn't see us...  looked right over us...  cause I wouldn't have been allowed back in the house if he'd known.

I wrote about this on another site about a year ago.  I'm not posting the entire thing, but here's the highlights:

Summer camp, 1981.  I was fifteen.  I'd been a camper for several years, and decided to become a counselor.

This girl named Paige, who was a counselor in training the previous summer, was nothing short of a royal pain (and she even admits it.)  She was about a year-and-a-half older.  To compound matters she was skinny as a rail.  But by the following year, she developed nicely and her attitude was much improved.

The week before the first group of campers were to arrive was for training.  There was me and four or five others in the training program.  Even though I wasn't going to be a lifeguard, we had to do water rescue and CPR training.  A thunderstorm hit the area and force that training, which was going to be held at the pool, was postponed to the day before the campers were to arrive.

Paige was in her bathing suit and I was in a pair of trunks.  Well, she looked hot and felt really good in my arms.  I got an erection.

I wasn't really sheltered as a kid, but sex was never discussed at home and sex education at my school consisted of two charts.

I panicked and couldn't complete the CPR portion and ran off to the bathroom with a raging erection.  I worried about how I was going to explain it to my parents when I called them for a ride home, and I didn't want Paige mad at me.  I went to the female staff cabin (which was deserted,) and explained myself and said I'm sorry.

Paige basically managed to convince the head counselor to give me another chance and she told me to not worry about getting an erection.  So she took me through the whole class in private.  I passed.

We went back to her cabin and then she had me undress her and we had sex.  It was incredible.  I still have no idea where she learned all that stuff.  We had a lot of other romps over the next thirteen or fourteen months.

-- Modified on 1/28/2013 9:15:54 PM

-- Modified on 1/28/2013 9:26:02 PM

In my 2nd of 3 yrs at law school I shared a big house with five other guys.  Two of the bedrooms were on the first floor and I had one of the four bedrooms on the second floor.  We threw a party open to all law students and it was well attended, including a really hot woman a year ahead of me.  She was near the top of her class besides having the body of a young Jennifer Love Hewitt. I was in awe of her and that night for some unknown reason she took a liking to me.  Her body was a 10 and her face was a 7 compared to my 7/6.  She stayed over after the party and we got busy in my bed upstairs.  Whenever she came she screamed loud and long.  In the morning she left early to avoid anyone else in the house.  When I finally made it downstairs to the kitchen for breakfast a couple of guys whose bedrooms were also on the second floor asked, "Who the hell was THAT screaming for mercy last night? Man, after hearing that we couldn't sleep for hours!"

I got together with her a few times after that at her place but it wasn't long before she stopped returning my calls and avoided me whenever possible.  Order was restored to the universe.