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HangingwithBears 384 reads
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No_Fucking_Sense_of_Humor

HangingwithBears1712 reads

A heartfelt thank you to WondersoftheWrld for enlightening me regarding the areas in which I need to improve. I honestly had no idea of the depth of my flaws. For those of you who might have forgotten:

I do recommend taking inventory of everything including your presentation, hygiene, drama etc.
As of today, I have taken a number of steps to correct these flaws, namely...

Inventory Completed - I and the beautiful provider I saw today have inventoried every inch of my body and she has verified that all of my parts are in their correct places and of adequate size to meet the requirements of most providers, excluding of course, London Rayne. I'm too big for LR and believe me, if there were some painless way to shrink my member to accommodate Ms Rayne, I would. But I'm a big chicken-shit and hate pain so there won't be any male member reduction surgery. Sorry LR, you'll have to settle for sucking my cock, please don't cry, I hate it when you cry.

Hygiene - I have come to realize that the 10-minute showers I take when arriving at appointments are inadequate to properly clean all of my dirty man parts. Effective immediately, I will shower for 20 minutes (1/3 of the appointment time) and double-wash my ass, dick, balls, and armpits so as to guarantee that I no longer offend any provider, even the ones in Chicago who demand more cleanliness than those of you not from Chicago.

Presentation - I admit that my presentation was out of date like many provider photos so I have created a wonderful new Powerpoint presentation highlighting my best features while also listing the downsides of seeing me. All new providers will be required to view this presentation which only requires 10 minutes (1/6 of the appointment time). I think you'll be quite impressed with my use of the graphics arts and embedded videos, not to mention the 3D grand tour of my hairy body.

Drama - Unfortunately, I'll no longer have time for drama since I've already given up half of my appointment time for Hygiene and Presentation. On the plus side, you'll only have to fuck me for 30 minutes instead of the 60 minutes I'm paying for but that's a small price to pay for making our Chicago ladies happy. This is a win-win situation for both of us, you do only half the work you're being paid for and I get 30 minutes of OTC time (aka time we're not fucking).

I think my new plan has been well thought out. Please feel free to offer any additional improvements you feel necessary to make me a first-class hobbyist.

Regards,

P

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inicky46524 reads

Is this your funniest post ever?  Seems like it is. Now FYATWYRIO!

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HangingwithBears329 reads

But I did put quite a bit of thought into it, actually an entire day and this is all I could come up with, lol.

And what the hell does FYATWYRIO me? You guys and your 20-letter acronyms...

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giselle69513 reads

Ahaha!  I'm kidding of course!  Don't let that c$&@ get to you.  Fuck her negative, nitpicky ass and be the same PP we all know and love!

Mwahz!

XXX-Gizzy

Posted By: Polish_Pirate
A heartfelt thank you to WondersoftheWrld for enlightening me regarding the areas in which I need to improve. I honestly had no idea of the depth of my flaws. For those of you who might have forgotten:  
   
I do recommend taking inventory of everything including your presentation, hygiene, drama etc.
   
 As of today, I have taken a number of steps to correct these flaws, namely...  
   
 Inventory Completed - I and the beautiful provider I saw today have inventoried every inch of my body and she has verified that all of my parts are in their correct places and of adequate size to meet the requirements of most providers, excluding of course, London Rayne. I'm too big for LR and believe me, if there were some painless way to shrink my member to accommodate Ms Rayne, I would. But I'm a big chicken-shit and hate pain so there won't be any male member reduction surgery. Sorry LR, you'll have to settle for sucking my cock, please don't cry, I hate it when you cry.  
   
 Hygiene - I have come to realize that the 10-minute showers I take when arriving at appointments are inadequate to properly clean all of my dirty man parts. Effective immediately, I will shower for 20 minutes (1/3 of the appointment time) and double-wash my ass, dick, balls, and armpits so as to guarantee that I no longer offend any provider, even the ones in Chicago who demand more cleanliness than those of you not from Chicago.  
   
 Presentation - I admit that my presentation was out of date like many provider photos so I have created a wonderful new Powerpoint presentation highlighting my best features while also listing the downsides of seeing me. All new providers will be required to view this presentation which only requires 10 minutes (1/6 of the appointment time). I think you'll be quite impressed with my use of the graphics arts and embedded videos, not to mention the 3D grand tour of my hairy body.  
   
 Drama - Unfortunately, I'll no longer have time for drama since I've already given up half of my appointment time for Hygiene and Presentation. On the plus side, you'll only have to fuck me for 30 minutes instead of the 60 minutes I'm paying for but that's a small price to pay for making our Chicago ladies happy. This is a win-win situation for both of us, you do only half the work you're being paid for and I get 30 minutes of OTC time (aka time we're not fucking).  
   
 I think my new plan has been well thought out. Please feel free to offer any additional improvements you feel necessary to make me a first-class hobbyist.  
   
 Regards,  
   
 PP  
 

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HangingwithBears273 reads

Fix your damn shower already, drip drip drip, it takes forever! For you, it's a 30-minute extravaganza, LOL...

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Haywood-Jablome445 reads

Check off all you hygiene issues before you arrive.

Send the PP presentation via email to your provider

Fuck for the hour

Problem solved

Another option - Stay home (you don't HAVE to spend the $)

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justanillusion369 reads

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HangingwithBears281 reads

Providers never believe that you showered right before you drove over, they like sniffing our dicks just to be sure we didn't go potty after the shower. It's always best to shower in the presence of the provider so she can time you and make sure you don't short her on the soapie time while she's texting her upcoming clients. They like shower time, it gives them time to catch up with all their other lovers, lol.

As for emailing my PP slides, most providers never read their email until after I leave. I'm not kidding, I get those emails all the time, "When will you be here?", "Have you left yet?" after I've already emailed and texted that I've left already. Also, my presentation is quite large (as some ladies already know) so it's too big to send through email.

The last option is workable and often happens when a provider doesn't communicate.

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hotplants389 reads

in EVER accusing a 'hooker' of being a drama queen

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HangingwithBears341 reads

You have so much street cred here and all the guys adore you and speak so highly of you. NOT. Your opinion of me counts for shit so thanks for the compliment.

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hotplants312 reads

That's funny. You've taken one fairly innocuous comment from WOW and started multiple threads to keep your own drama going. You've been acting wounded and petulant for days over a comment made to you that's less offensive than what you guys (with street cred?) dish out to "hookers" day in, day out.  

This is not about me...lol..

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HangingwithBears356 reads

LOL, that last post about my new improvements was self-deprecating humor. I guess humor=drama for you so maybe you take yourself too seriously on a fuck board where most of these posts are utter nonsense. I've been following WOTW and your posts for many months and you seem to irk people a lot. It just so happened that WOTW went after me this time instead of going after her usual targets like CPA.

I really don't care what WOTW, you, and justanillusion think of me. You read my posts with sarcastic humor and call me a drama queen. The only people I care about are those providers I see regularly and where they are concerned, WOTW and her cohorts have done me no harm. But it was great fun getting attacked and being called names like Polish_DramaQueen which I think is a very funny handle and may become my new one soon. I can laugh at myself,my flaws, my idiocy and stupid posts and also admit that I say stupid shit

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skarphedin349 reads

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HangingwithBears385 reads

No_Fucking_Sense_of_Humor

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skarphedin346 reads

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London Rayne314 reads

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HangingwithBears372 reads

Looking forward to your drunken ass embarrassing me in public Ms Personality. You run rings around some of these other self-absorbed biatches :-)

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