i am not a hobbyist.  i do not frequent escorts, although i have had experiences on rare occasion.

I know exactly who this sounds like, but it wouldn't be "nice" to speculate publicly, plus it's probably against the rules.

And, yeah, I'm sure we'll be hearing from her real soon! LMAO!

So outing it wouldn't be a violation.  It's not a CPA type post.

NYC

It's not really love. Yes, a BSC squatter hooker can FEEL like love, I get that. But you're confusing true love with a woman to a two week freak fest with an Occupy Wall Street type.

Tee-hee.  

couple years ago, and then she kept harassing gambler with PM?  I recall gambler ignored her PMs for a while

You know, friends like Deb and the Dungbeetle.

Speaking of the Dungbeetle, he hasn't been spotted around any open windows lately, has he?

but I sure got a lot from other people.  A LOT of them. lol

I love it, all you have to say is "got any rope?" and every long time poster will know what you are talking about.

I'd say that makes you a hobbiest and someone who frequents escorts.
I don't think there is magical # of sessions that defines this.
Now if you've sworn off the hobby and stuck by this commitment, then I guess you could be called an "ex-hobbiest."
Also, not sure how you can say you will not have any less rich of a relationship with your kids - how do you know what the effect of your actions will be?  Of course, it's not my or anyone elses place to comment on your personal life, but you have thrown it out here in a very self-justifying manner

Just saying. You obviously don't love your wife if you plan on running off with someone else , but until you make a legitimate move , I find it hard to believe you love the other woman either.  

just perused the overnight responses.

fair points.  

Gold, when divided, there is less for each.  Love, when divided, increases the overall amount.  With the right mindset, you can have your cake and eat it, too

you care about her why ?

Swear to Gaga, this board has convinced me to never get married.

that if she was supportive of her husband , taking care of him in and out of the bedroom . making a good home as a woman should do why would he have met or whatever with some girl whos " registered here" that's kind of funny in and of itself.  see when someone totally blames the other person its usually them who created the problems whatever they may be. and its funny how the end game is mentioned ( this guy with some friend ) and not what caused this guy to have said friend . perhaps the op wants to tell , or not .  

And you know who my "cohorts" are?  Hint: I'm not referring to anyone who posts on this board.

hgoCPA likes scat play so he sees it as brown.  rofl

I'm thinking OP's story is bs but for the sake of argument,  I feel it's best to acknowledge that he's the one cheating. Wife is doing her part tending to her children.  

the only thing "unlikely" about your scenario is if you actually follow through with the divorce and treat the provider right in the end.

owned up & moved on.  They did not neglect their parental roles.  Some did not yet have children which made it easier.  I know 2 couples who switches spouces!  It can happen.  However it is rare.

slow down and get some facts before you assume , don't want you to make an ass out o u or anyone else .  

thank you.  those are all fair points.

affairs , its like peyton place. if guys are cheating they need women to cheat with ? and perhaps there are a lot of men who are "vidtims" of SO who stepped out on them . just sayin .

Or a new found fun adventure?

A short list. Pretty lame troll if you ask me. And I'm one of the clowns who married a provider...

Since when did having a mistress that he's in love with become the norm for married men?  I don't give a shit if he has a mistress but it would be false to blame the wife for not being a wife too quickly.  You don't know that.  She is obviously busy supporting the kids otherwise he wouldn't have time to sneak out to fall in love with this mistress.  

It would appear that he is making the farthest jump without the benefit of any kind of net. Speaking in absolutes in this kind of situation is idiotic and you both know it. The wife could be a saint, or the wife could be a cunt. It's doubtful that any of us here will every know, (or ever care for that matter)

The one fact that IS pretty clear is the fact he cheated, and is continuing to cheat, what he does from here is up to him. Personally I condone guys cheating on their wives, and I really don't think that cheating is a very good foundation to begin a solid relationship, but there are millions of potential scenarios and I will do my best not to judge, or at least not judge too harshly until and unless more facts come to light.

The truth of the matter is, we will only ever know what ever "facts" the parties involved want to share with us, How the fuck are we supposed to make any kind of ironclad declarations about what they are doing?

You are talking mainly to a bunch of guys who not only cheat on their wives, but make a lifestyle out of it. The other side of the room is mainly made up of women who get to spend all day listening to the mostly lame excuses of these very same guys, trying to explain WHY they cheat.

Is it any wonder that this is a tough, not to mention jaded crowd?

If you were single, already divorced, or at least in the process of getting divorced, I would be inclined to give you a lot more benefit of the doubt, and in spite of my cynicism I still wish you and yours well, I will confess, I have serious doubts, mainly due to your married status. I've seen and heard this "big talk" a thousand times, it's the follow through that counts. I truly hope you don't subject her to months or years of sneaking about while you get you shit together. Good luck to the both of you.

yours is an apt analogy, more or less, excepting perhaps that a passion for travel and exotic locales does not quite equate to love between two people.

I can't think of a single sentence of your post that I disagree with, and yes in my younger years I too moved states at the drop of a hat, I think I have lived in at least 30 of the 50 states at one point of my life, even if for only a couple of months in some cases. lol

but back to the meat of your post, if the OP is seriously in love he should already be in contact with his lawyer, otherwise this "declaration of love" is only so much blah blah blah.

I can't claim with any certainty that I will never get married again, but I guarantee you I will never go through another divorce. An accident? maybe. Another divorce? NEVER.

Accidents do happen though, and crocodiles need to eat too. lol

Ok, how about bands?

Sometimes I feel the same way when I go to a concert...
For me, traveling.. The beach.... Live music........ That is my love. I am a free spirit.  

Re: Ok, how about bands?

again, not an inapt analogy, but still doesn't reach the depth of emotion that defines love.

You're courting a world of hurt...

But I am sworn to secrecy.

Why the hell would any woman want some dude who is fkin around on another woman already? I mean duh.... insanity. Oh wait, lemme guess, because this one is special, she will change him, their 'love' lol will never reach this point? Riiiiiiight bwahahhahah. Idiots.

How do you know she didn't mean..

sorry, but that was just too easy to pass up.lol

dreamer, in your own mind. Maybe? Maybe not.

It is still not clear why you would post on this matter (thank you Alyssa.)  If what you say is true then it does not matter what this community thinks?  A relationship isn't strong if it requires or if you care about discussion board feedback.  Does the content here provide a wealth of information about building deep intimate, emotional and intellectual connections?  If you think so, then I strongly encourage you to stop your pursuits before someone gets hurt.  Maybe it's just my style but I think somethings are best kept private.

i'm not certain i understand the reference to dreamer (although i probably qualify in the generic sense), nor can i imagine how you might have stumbled across my words before - indeed, it's highly doubtful.  

the motivation for the post was whimsical.  while reading the feedback has been enlightening, even unnerving in some instances, it really wasn't about that.

You yourself said that you thought perhaps this was more of a unique situation... It's not.

Thank you! Good lord.

i appreciate your observations, all good points.

yes, she does.  yes, she has.  no, she is not.  no, i am not.

"but, our feelings and intentions are true.  and our love is genuine.  and, cynicism aside, perhaps love alone is worthy of at least as much celebration as it is ridicule or suspicion. "

alyssa:  

A dreamer's prose wouldn't be so stilted and naive...T'

For 1.. The second part was sarcasm.. Notice that smiley face?
For 2.... Whatever. I don't understand why you even posted here. You're convinced. Apparently she's convinced. Come back in fifteen years with your happy story.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_0Jf8_aBx5g

I think the music industry is the only one where that's common.  And they were quite the vogue when she broke in.

"And the next time I fall
I'm gonna have to recall
It isn't love
It's only something new"

Like Natasha said, we hear men talk all day.  

But I'm sure no one will read it! That very same quirk of human nature is how 360 deals get signed half the time. LMAO. When presented with any massive pile of paperwork, most people take the lazy way out and just sign on the proverbial dotted line.

The key thing is that the cost of making a record has gone up but the revenue stream from selling recordings is way down.  The record companies need other sources to recoup their investment.  No doubt you can tell from this statement that my connection with the industry is on the label side. LOL!
But that doesn't make the statement untrue.

Just read the damn article. It covers most arguements labels use to justify their position. >

When an artist meets with a label and their rent is three weeks past due and they've been living off ramen noodles, many accept the first offer they are made, no questions asked. They desperately need the promised advance to cover their basic living expenses. And they often can't afford the deposit required to retain a lawyer. So they sign whatever they are told to sign, not fully comprending that they have entered into a Faustian Bargain, and that the label will be "getting a peice of them" for the rest of their life and beyond.

I happen to know one rather well.

Josh Farro, former member of the band Paramore (which currently has a 360 contract with Atlantic, though they are also signed with the label, Fueled By Ramen,) describes how Paramore got signed:

Just saying it isn't always that way.  Surprised something like that would go on at Atlantic, which has an ethical rep.  I actually know some people there.