Since this is still within the Topic Amnesty period, I hope this post won’t be denied, especially since the Mod hit 1000 pages of denied posts.
I’m a Hermaphrodite. Get the laughing out of the way, I’m used to it. But I’m tired of it too. I want to pick one gender and go with it. The problem is that my experimentation has not led me to a clear path.
You see, I’m an Hermaphrodite that swallows because I’ve heard that swallowing may be good for my health. You would think that it would then be easy to pick the woman path, but I also can’t stand the smell of sweaty and smelly balls. IMHO, that smell would gag a maggot. I’ve tried to spray a pussy scented perfume on the balls I’ve seen, but the guy usually gets pissed because it stings. Even so, when you combine the two smells, you just get that smelly pussy odor that I also hate.
I’ve tried fucking women, but being a Hermaphrodite and all, my dick is too small. As most women like big dicks, I find that I can’t satisfy them. One provider that I saw was so unsatisfied and disgusted with me that she spit out her Ecstasy tablet, ran out of the room, and cried rape to the Cop standing in the parking lot, who was down there writing me a parking ticket.
When the Cop came up to the room, I tried the old Bro’s before Ho’s routine with him in an effort to get out of the mess, but he took one look at me and wasn’t having none of it. It’s hard to be a Bro when you’re a Hemaphrodite. Long story short, the cop decided that she was making a false claim because I showed him a huge wad of bills along with a printout of her website that said that if I couldn’t afford her, don’t bother calling. The Cop decided that any chick with an attitude like that was more than capable of making a false charge. So, laughing at me the whole time, the Cop carted little miss prissy britches away.
When all was said and done, I actually felt sorry for that provider as she had told me about being abused as a kid, and how nobody respected her in her real life, so she seeks it as a provider. But then I got pissed again because her story, in retrospect, reminded me of an episode of The Secret Diary of A Call Girl on Showtime and I think she was just playing me. If anyone wants her info, just PM me for it, but I don’t know if I can answer PM’s from strangers.
The guys and gals at work are no help at all. I work for the CIA, and I think a bunch of them hobby because I keep seeing them in the hotels that the providers stay in and I heard some of them talking about hookers in the break room the other day. I don’t want to approach them for advice because I’ve come to realize that most hobbyists, at least the ones I see on these boards, are drunk wise-asses. Particularly the Circle of Mods (gratuitous bashing to make GAG happy) or posers (no offense intended).
The girls at work just want to be my fuck buddy, but that doesn’t last long because, well, I’m a hermaphrodite with a tiny dick and a tinier pussy (and those get smelly sometimes at the same time).
I was thinking of hitting Paris because I’ve heard it was a great place for a fling. Maybe I could have enough experiences to decide which path to take. The problem is that I work for the Federal Government and may get laid off soon because Obama had a Tea Party and fucked over the economy.
Can anyone help me?
