You may remember my question a while back about the unlikely story a provider was giving me about her "driver."

Well here is the skinny.

She calls me sobbing last night.

It turns out he is her boyfriend and is living with her. This explains why she only does outcall.

He wrecked her car. When it came time to fix it or buy a new one, she found out he had spent all the money she had earned providing. She was basically his meal ticket and had been gambling it all away. Remember she is only 20 and could not go to the casino with him! That also turns out to be the reason why she was always late to appointments. He was at the casino and wouldn't leave.

She is now stuck.  She can't get out to do her sessions without a car, and can't do any incall because her boyfriend is living with her. I tried to explain how incalls at hotels can work, but she said her boyfriend wouldn't allow it.

It turns out that her boyfriend wanted her to stop seeing me because he thought I was a threat to his free ride.

Now she want me to pick her up surreptiously for an overnight.

Any suggestions?

Not so......happy12





-- Modified on 5/24/2004 9:29:08 PM

Why can't she call a taxi?  Frankly, sounds like a bad situation with a jealous boyfriend - you should move on.

way too much drama here!

You sound like a kind-hearted guy, but this has all the markings of disaster on it.  

One of the things that's sometimes hardest for compassionate people such as ourselves to deal with is that everyone has to assume responsibility for the choices they make.  

There is no question that this is a cry for help from her, but it's my guess that she's turning to you for financial and not emotional support.  True, she'll need financial wherewithal to leave the guy, but your statement that she won't do hotel incall because her boyfriend won't allow it seems to indicate that she's not planning on leaving him any time soon, no matter how badly he mistreats her.

One of the first lessons they teach in a Red Cross Rescue Swimmer couse is that a drowning person will often grab onto their rescuer with such intensity that it makes it impossible for the rescuer to swim, and a drowing person could, in a panic, drown his or her own potential savior.  

Be careful that you don't get drawn in to the drama that's going on in her life.  

By all means, suggest ways that she can extricate herself from this situation.  Offer her your moral support, if you feel you must.  But, by "rescuing her" from this situation, you'll most likely only succeed in helping her to continue her own self-destructive behavior...and it's likely to make a mess of your own life in the process.

I suggest you steer well clear, at least until she's managed to extricate herself, or at least has a solid plan (a SOLID plan) for getting away from this guy.

Yoda

Her life is hopeless as long as she's with that guy.  I would pull back and find a different provider until she's disengaged.  Right now, find a diffferent woman to overnight with. Going to pick her up for an overnight brings it a bit to close to legit dating for comfort.

It's tough that she's stuck right now, but she can figure that out, and she'll have to do what's good for herself first; that is, get rid of the leech.

/Zin

I had a situation where the provider's boyfriend knew she was a provider. He was following her around all time. He even confronted her on a review that I did on her (I did not know that she had a boyfriend when  I saw her). I decided to stop seeing her because it was not worth the trouble. When you see a provider trying to find another parking lot for outcall that is a bad sign. It is an indication that her SO is looking for her car.

-- Modified on 5/24/2004 10:06:20 PM

-- Modified on 5/24/2004 10:06:59 PM

WHAT THE HELL ARE U WAITING FOR?

Even though my softhearted side feels for this young ladies predicament it will probably only lead to trouble for you.
It is obvious that she lives for drama otherwise she would have dumped the worthless leech of a boyfriend long ago. Being her Knight in shining armor will only liable you for possible repercussions from her boyfriend, further feeding her hunger for drama and probably costing you.......

  Cm

It's sad to see her in sucha predicament, but everyone needs to take responsibility for his/ her life.  Looks to me that she actually might be looking for another BF to replace the loser.  Are you ready for that step?

Or she might be hustling you by playing on your good heart?  Just be careful.

Good luck

... If you pick her up for an "overnight", you are setting yourself up to be the fall guy in all sorts of BAD stories. This caannot turn out well for you (or for the woman).  Tell her to leave, go to a woman's shelter, get a lawyer, and sue the SOB for the money and the car (as well as getting a restraining order).  Until that is done, STAY AWAY FROM THIS LITTLE DRAMA.  If junior pimp daddy is a bust out gambler (like he sounds), he has enough people chaising him already so he will be leaving the area soon.  

If you don't do this, you can watch a filmed version of what your life is going to turn into by going out and renting CASINO (Robert Denero & Sharon Stone)

Well, Do you like violence and nasty conversations.  Are you in good shape and ready to mix it up?   Do you have a bullet proof vest? Do you want your neighbors to know your business?  Wise up.  
Schools out.   Move on.

I am amazed people still fall for it. Please...run away. Far away.

The consensus is clear.

No more saviour syndrome!
She neither wants nor can be saved.

Something odd I noticed from the replies so far.

No women replied to this issue. At least no nicks that were obviously women's.

You'll regret getting involved in this mess.  Flip her a few bucks to help her get started on her own, but don't play hero.

I'm sure Mr. Boyfriend will bully your identity out of her and you'll wind up in a bodycast.

Save the drama for yo mama!!!

Move on...I bet you feel sorry for her and what not but IF she really really wanted too, she would kick that POS to the curb

to take this guy out, and put up with this provider's nuttiness, - LEAVE!!!

I hate to say this Happy, but it's time to draw back and see if she can get her sh*t straight.  I know it is hard to keep business and personal seperate when you see someone frequently, but in all honesty her job if to give you pleasure, relaxation and companionship WITHOUT all the strings, drama baggage bull that comes with a monogamous relationship in the real world.  I share personal info with my temporary boyfriends as well, but nothing that would give them an ulcer like the one you are working on if you continue to see her. I would never make a hobbyist feel obligated to "save" me from any mess of my own making!  I personally think it sounds a lil fishy...no pun intended.  I have been told numerous stories from friends and most of them end up to be on the take.  If she is truely unhappy she will find a way out on her own like I did and not put you in a position that you REALLY DO NOT need to be in (trust me on that one) Find you a nice provider that is there only to pamper and please you...there are plenty of us out there and we actually have our personal lives in some control and would love to spend time with such a kind, giving, caring gentleman without weighing you down causing you to drown

She could dump that guy and take control of her life but she is staying with him.  You should take her choice as a signal to you to stay as far away from her as you can.  If the boyfriend views you as a threat, how much further do you think he will have to delude himself to end up coming after you to hurt you.

-- Modified on 5/26/2004 5:26:43 PM