: TER General Board Discussion : You win!

DC. 51 Reviews 2102 reads

posted 12 years ago

1 / 29

Without the Hobby, I may very well have been booted out of my family this week

My oldest son, who goes to college in the South, brought his current girlfriend by for a couple of days this week on their way to Maine to a Spring Break ski trip. She's a down home Southern Belle who has never been skiing, so they decided to do the slopes instead of the beach. Our house is on the way, and we had never met her, so they stopped over for a couple of nights on their drive up.

Well, when she walked in with him, all I can say is that my perv gene activated and then went into overdrive. She's 21, blonde, tight as hell, and has this drool inducing look that you just can't take your eyes away from. She comes in, takes off her jacket, and has the gall to stand there in front of a perv like me in yoga pants and a cropped t-shirt. I actually had to do a kind of hunch lean against the kitchen counter to hide my instabone like I was a fucking teenager again.

My first thought when I saw her was: I want one. I had no second thought because, somehow, my brain went offline and stayed that way until yesterday morning. I'm a lawyer. I get fucking PAID to talk, yet I couldn't string together one coherent sentence the first night that they were here. I'd open my mouth and it was like I was speaking in tongues. I barely made it through dinner, and I kept catching myself looking at her when I was trying to talk to someone else.

Needless to say, all of this did NOT go unnoticed by the family. My wife kept looking at me like I had just dropped a deuce in church; and my son was giving me the stink eye while his younger brother kept giggling into his hand. The only thing that saved me that night was the two of them going out to see some of my son's friends.

While they were gone, I tried everything I could do to reset my brain. I went down to my den and jerked off to BadCollegeGirl's website pics. That was nice (as it always is (I'm not ashamed)), but didn't reset my brain. I wen t back upstairs and fucked the hell out of my wife; but, as nice as that was, it still didn't do the trick. Finally, I went to bed early so that I wouldn't be around to make more of an ass of myself when they got home, and ultimately fell into a troubled sleep with visions of blonde sugarplums dancing on my dick.

So I'm standing there in the Kitchen the next morning, trying to get out the door before I see her, and in she walks. No makeup on, short shorts, smelling like a vestal virgin, and obviously having just crawled out of bed. I swear to God that I actually let out a little squeak when she walked in. I babbled something at her and fled the house. I'm driving to work, practicing my emotion regulation skills, trying to do the deep breathing thing, and thinking that I'll never be able to go home that night, when the solution finally comes to me. The Hobby can be my Savior.

So I pull into a Target parking lot, take out my phone, and do a search on TER for blonde, 18 - 25, bbbj, dfk, and cim. I get 5 choices within driving distance, and by lunch time, I'm deep inside a reasonable facsimile of my recent obsession. It was a great session, and with the application of a little imaging imagination, I was able to reset my brain enough to actually be the consummate host that night for dinner.

They're gone now, and my son made a point of letting me know that they wouldn't have time to stop on the way back down, so the crisis is past. However, if I hadn't been able to use the hobby to snap me back to reality, I'm pretty sure that I would have been booted out of the family that night

Has anyone had the hobby similarly help them stop making an ass of themselves?

-- Modified on 3/13/2014 2:22:04 PM

JackDunphy 835 reads

posted 12 years ago

2 / 29

Actually, it's quite the contrary.

I think the hobby is the cause of my recent ass hat behavior.

inicky46 61 Reviews 757 reads

posted 12 years ago

3 / 29

"instabone?" "dropped a deuce in church?" LMAO!

This is some truly funny shit. Instabone is the best line I've read on here since BCG introduced us to the "ladyboner."
But to answer your question, since I'm divorced I've never had to endure your plight. But I loved your solution.

perfectstorm 19 Reviews 585 reads

posted 12 years ago

4 / 29

Would have been funny if while you were searching for lookalikes,

you ran into her pics and reviews!

Senator.Blutarsky 586 reads

posted 12 years ago

5 / 29

LOL… Sounds to me like you approve of your son's taste in women...

better hope he doesn't marry her or you will be seeing a lot more of her. I suggest preemptive therapy anytime she comes for a visit. :

inicky46 61 Reviews 618 reads

posted 12 years ago

6 / 29

You win!

END OF MESSAGE

ZoePiers See my TER Reviews 600 reads

posted 12 years ago

7 / 29

hahaha, I absolutely loved reading this; and i am sure so will everybody else.

A funny true story. I wish i was there to see your face.

Tobi Telford See my TER Reviews 575 reads

posted 12 years ago

8 / 29

Hahaha I love your writing style.

Didn't expect to be name-dropped in this post, but I'm glad to hear that my photos gave you some spank material during your struggle.

More posts like this, please. Your writing style is incredibly entertaining.

Posted By: DC.

My oldest son, who goes to college in the South, brought his current girlfriend by for a couple of days this week on their way to Maine to a Spring Break ski trip. She's a down home Southern Belle who has never been skiing, so they decided to do the slopes instead of the beach. Our house is on the way, and we had never met her, so they stopped over for a couple of nights on their drive up.

Well, when she walked in with him, all I can say is that my perv gene activated and then went into overdrive. She's 21, blonde, tight as hell, and has this drool inducing look that you just can't take your eyes away from. She comes in, takes off her jacket, and has the gall to stand there in front of a perv like me in yoga pants and a cropped t-shirt. I actually had to do a kind of hunch lean against the kitchen counter to hide my instabone like I was a fucking teenager again.

My first thought when I saw her was: I want one. I had no second thought because, somehow, my brain went offline and stayed that way until yesterday morning. I'm a lawyer. I get fucking PAID to talk, yet I couldn't string together one coherent sentence the first night that they were here. I'd open my mouth and it was like I was speaking in tongues. I barely made it through dinner, and I kept catching myself looking at her when I was trying to talk to someone else.

Needless to say, all of this did NOT go unnoticed by the family. My wife kept looking at me like I had just dropped a deuce in church; and my son was giving me the stink eye while his younger brother kept giggling into his hand. The only thing that saved me that night was the two of them going out to see some of my son's friends.

While they were gone, I tried everything I could do to reset my brain. I went down to my den and jerked off to BadCollegeGirl's website pics. That was nice (as it always is (I'm not ashamed)), but didn't reset my brain. I wen t back upstairs and fucked the hell out of my wife; but, as nice as that was, it still didn't do the trick. Finally, I went to bed early so that I wouldn't be around to make more of an ass of myself when they got home, and ultimately fell into a troubled sleep with visions of blonde sugarplums dancing on my dick.

So I'm standing there in the Kitchen the next morning, trying to get out the door before I see her, and in she walks. No makeup on, short shorts, smelling like a vestal virgin, and obviously having just crawled out of bed. I swear to God that I actually let out a little squeak when she walked in. I babbled something at her and fled the house. I'm driving to work, practicing my emotion regulation skills, trying to do the deep breathing thing, and thinking that I'll never be able to go home that night, when the solution finally comes to me. The Hobby can be my Savior.

So I pull into a Target parking lot, take out my phone, and do a search on TER for blonde, 18 - 25, bbbj, dfk, and cim. I get 5 choices within driving distance, and by lunch time, I'm deep inside a reasonable facsimile of my recent obsession. It was a great session, and with the application of a little imaging imagination, I was able to reset my brain enough to actually be the consummate host that night for dinner.

They're gone now, and my son made a point of letting me know that they wouldn't have time to stop on the way back down, so the crisis is past. However, if I hadn't been able to use the hobby to snap me back to reality, I'm pretty sure that I would have been booted out of the family that night

Has anyone had the hobby similarly help them stop making an ass of themselves?

-- Modified on 3/13/2014 2:22:04 PM

Addicted_to_Sex 567 reads

posted 12 years ago

9 / 29

good anecdote

i go through that shit all the time. some hot chick walks into a meeting with a lowcut skirt and then i search TER to get something similar. i walk into a deli and see a girl with a huge rack and low cut top and im on TER instantly to fuck a lookalike. having pro's fulfill your fantasies is what its all about. im happily married but i wouldnt know what i would do if i couldnt get a sexy hooker to swallow my cum and dress to my satisfaction

JackDunphy 674 reads

posted 12 years ago

10 / 29

That's more like it. I knew you'd come around and see things my way...e

END OF MESSAGE

random133 117 Reviews 640 reads

posted 12 years ago

11 / 29

Now that was a post worth reading. And it does point up a recurring dilemma

Whether it's the 20-something hitting the TRX at the gym, the MILF in the supermarket or the coworker 2 cubicles over there are times when you want just THAT. But inasmuch as THAT ain't gonna happen, it's nice to be able to reach out to a willing proxy for a little wish fulfillment in safe mode. Of course we're unlikely to completely substitute B for A but the alternative is to risk embarrassment or worse. Hence the dilemma. Happy playtime comrades.

inicky46 61 Reviews 597 reads

posted 12 years ago

12 / 29

Hardly. But I do at least agree with your self-diagnosis.

And I am not alone.

-- Modified on 3/13/2014 4:26:06 PM

russbbj 89 Reviews 565 reads

posted 12 years ago

13 / 29

I liked your story

Without the hobby I'd be forced to settle for less. I love the hobby, I've worked too long and too hard (ok not physical labor) to have to settle. Life is good in the hobby.

sympathyforthedevil 57 Reviews 566 reads

posted 12 years ago

14 / 29

reminds me of my daughters pool parties.

Prior to TER I'd think of these young hardbodyies out by my the pool in their micro bikinis and say to myself "what a perv". Since TER I know I can gt something similar (yet a little older) to relieve the tension. All is good.

russbbj 89 Reviews 536 reads

posted 12 years ago

15 / 29

I have these 10 rules

If you violate any of these 10 rules (commandments) I'll damn you to eternity in a fiery miserable Hell, but I love you. Oh that's fucking priceless!

russbbj 89 Reviews 535 reads

posted 12 years ago

16 / 29

oh my goodness you must know your site and reviews are spank material

I spank my monkey, bad monkey, to yours and others sites and reviews quite routinely. But, he is a really bad monkey and he deserves a good spanking
y

Usedtobebetter 537 reads

posted 12 years ago

17 / 29

I have to stay away from those things...

Can't keep my eyes off the too-young ladies. I just avoid the situation.

Dave76015 38 Reviews 599 reads

posted 12 years ago

18 / 29

DC: You are The MAN!

I have a friend with a couple of tall, volleyball playing daughters. I have to be careful not to stare too much or--SCHWING! Instabone!
Come to think about it, I just thought of a new Superhero: InstaBoneMan.