By that, I dont mean specific things in the business like ncns or a rude client or less than stellar session. I mean the business in general. Does it ever make you feel empty or hollow inside?

I have to thump every customer in the head for an extra C note because the ATF needs it.

It gets me down as in being alone. Normally you would have co-workers, being a provider... there are no co-workers to chat with.  You are at your computer most of the time or with your client. But there is no adult conversation through out your work days.
I am a people person... and I miss being around people .
But I do love my job. If I didn't, I wouldn't do it!

but I do get bored with it sometimes.
It gets old handing over money and just fucking some stranger for an hr, especially when the girl is not as attractive as I'd hoped, which is quite often. I can't imagine what it's like to do that 3-4 times a day. That has to become mind numbing quickly.
The more I do this, the more I enjoy ATF's. Not just one girl, that would be too much like a relationship, but a few special women (for me that means, maybe 3), who are fun to spend some time with and still provider the erotic excitement I am looking for. Having that type of arrangement even makes the occasional anonymous 1 hour visit with strangers more fun. Spacing out encounters ads anticipation and also keeps it exciting. Even if I could, I don't think I would hobby every week.
But to answer, yes, my hobby mood waxes and wains.

Well even full time work leaves you at home or in a cafe by yourself working.  I think the meet and greets really help with that too.

I've seen it from the porn angle to strippers to escorts.  The women are judged on their appearance rather harshly.  It's something that a lot of times they have no control over without surgery.  And if they do have to get surgery, they get an attitude of entitlement.  In other words, the thought process is like I got this huge boob job, so guys owe me more money.  They walk around with their nose in the air and think they shouldn't have to work as hard.  And you really can't blame them for being like that. They had to go under the knife and violate their bodies in such a way that they probably never would have but for being in this line of work.  Guys are really harsh and mean.  They nit pick a lady on every little flaw she might have.  You know, even supermodels have their physical flaws.  No one is perfect.  Most of these guys that talk shit on the girls are nothing to look at either, ironically.  

That's one issue.  The other thing is that no guys want to date or marry anyone in the sex industry except maybe a stripper.  It's almost as if they see us as damaged goods, or we sleep with too many people for them.  It's screwed up, because they aren't too good to fuck us, but they are too good to marry us.  That can really crap you out.  I'd love to find a guy who will marry me, but I have to lie about what I do or all bets are off.  I mean if I did get married, I would retire from this.  But, you don't even get that chance.  

We do make the quick money and sometimes lots of it.  But we really do pay the price for it in terms of lost opportunities and the inability to create families of our own.  It's also very hard to transfer into the regular work place when you've been in the sex industry for 10 or so years.  You have no work history.  The longer you are in the industry, the harder it becomes to get a regular job.  You can't really put all this on a resume.  It's a trade off.  

I don't think the women in this industry get treated very well.  It seems to burn them out.  I've seen so many dancers and escorts when I used to work at agencies that would look all fresh, new and sweet when they first start working.  Six months later, they have that burnt out, worn out and hardened look to them.  They just aren't the same person anymore.

The only exceptions that I can think of to what I've described are the 1% top of the line porn stars and escorts who make tons of money.  But this isn't the reality for most escorts or women in porn.  For every Jenna Jamison or thousand dollar an hour escort, there are thousands more unnamed, unknown, much lesser paid women who will never make it to that top tier.  You'd have better luck playing the lottery.  

My two cents.  Take it for what it's worth.

The sex industry is hard on women, in my opinion, because we are a repressive society that is still chained by sexual stigma of every order.
Men objectify women, who in turn have those feelings reinforced by media and body imagery advertising, which in turn reinforces their negativity, creating a self-actualizing cycle that benefits no one. Is the the case every time? No, but I believe it is prevalent.
In turn, to be blunt, women don't play well with other women. There is no mythical sisterhood, not when their biological and social pressures are dictating that they must, in order to be "fulfilled" or "real women", marry, or have children, or both.
Again, this isn't a blanket statement, but it effects enough women that it merits some consideration.

You guys and gals make me smile every day. I can't see my child except 2 days a week because of her schooling issue, so I don't really have much to do but play on the net, and work out or tan...and, all of that equipment is in my home, so I lose the fun of going flirt at the gym. I used to play Tennis 3 days a week when I lived in the city, but now that's stopped since it takes so long to get there. I have very few girlfriends, and most live at least 2 hours away, as well as my family. I am grateful for what many of you have given me...and that is entertainment and friendship.

I agree with you Brie, but i still believe you can date and even get married. The problem i have seen is that women in this industry have a tendency to put up barriers to protect themselves from getting hurt emotionally. You can never know when or where you will find the one you will fall in love with. I personally have no problem dating an escort or even marrying one, but if we did get married i wouldn't want her to do this anymore. The problem i see, is will she be able to open up her heart to the man she falls for or push him away to protect herself. Just my 2 cents

Amazinggg!

you arent that nasty, mean, hateful b*tch you really are! LOL! No, really though, great post!

I found that out from one of my ATF's that she was lonely on the road some times....She would text me in the middle of the day, meeting whatever..... to tell me, she loved the toy I got her....when I could we'd text back and forth about things...
Now She's Gone!
I miss that give and take it was fun, and erotic..... she was a smart, cool friend and part time lover.

Blue man,

think of having several FWB. To be honest if your Lucky or cool enough ...you might have a harem of FWB...... lmao!!!

During the course of a day I too busy to think of sex or most anything but what I'm doing. But outside of that I strike up chats on occasion w/  many ladies about other stuff besides sex.
sometimes it leads to date sooner than expected. http://www.theeroticreview.com/library/style/i/emoticons/teeth_smile.gif

For a real relationship, yes, it will be empty in comparison.

Sadly, I think Brie's assessment is pretty accurate. There are always exceptions, but from what I have seen with the escorts I have met, and granted it is from a limited vantage point, Brie is generally correct.
This is a tough industry, the price for the women is high. How can a 21 year old girl who becomes an escort because it seem exciting, sexy and lucrative possibly anticipate what she is opening herself up to, until she's been fully immersed in this world. After she's had some time having sex with a bunch 70  y/o  men, who think of her as nothing more than an object, it has to change her out look on life, people, and especially on men. I saw one very pretty and sexy 23 y/o girl who'd been doing this a few years already. She'd started with an agency, and went indy later. She told me she won't see guys over 60 anymore, and she make sort of an "ick" noise as she told me this. Obviously when she was with the agency she'd seen many old guys, and clearly hated it, and is still disturbed by the thought.
As far as future relationships, the exposure to 100's or 1000's of guys who cheat on their wives, and the ease with which this is done for a few bucks, has to effect the way escorts trust men. It has to make future relationships very difficult to say the least.
I think the OP asks a good question. I do get down when I think about some of these things, and it does bother me sometimes.
Let the flaming ensue.

I've been married TWICE so speak for yourself lol. I have also been engaged 4 times. For me, it's the other way around...I don't want to date or marry any guy who I met this way. I would probably not have an issue being with a guy who did this once or twice, but I would be pretty naive to think a married man already cheating, would not also do that to me.

Let's just pretend I didn't write that lol.

brie ,
very good points indeed.

In the dozen or so years since I began to hobby, I've found some great ladies in their own right, and for various reasons they became providers.... the common thread is they love sex! and lots of it. As do I

There  are several ladies I've been fortunate to be with that if the situation were different I could see myself being with.  The reality is we don't look in the hobby for a SO. There are too many variables in a SO relationship beyond the sex that need to click for one to work....Personally, if things were different and something happened .....who knows.
In several cases, I have developed a few neat friendships w/ a couple ladies. one a little OTC time, the others just chatting shopping by text....and such. It is a different dimension to the hobbying experience but enjoyable.
Unfortunately one of those friendships recently went sour, not really sure why, but it did. I miss our chats, and moments.  But time to move on........ I hope she's well.
30 yrs ago I would have had a difficult time being attached to a provider, but times have changed, and so have paradigms.  for me if my SO were a provider and she traveled, I'd miss her terribly.

I used to envy providers, and told many so, they get sex when they want most of the time, but came to the realization there is a lot more BS, and that is the difficult part. most of which you lament above.  

Your points are well taken, but in every job there can be long hours, detailed shit work that must be done,and very dissatisfying results. That being said there needs to be a life balance between work and play.  LOL,...I just spoke w/ provider friend on the life balance a few hours ago...go figure.

I hope this helps, and things go well for you.

Smile and be well,
liam

As one poster noted, it can be hard on a woman's self-esteem. I was always considered extremely attractive in my personal life - but, when I first started providing, I suddenly read that I had big feet, too many freckles, was too thin, not thin enough, too 'big' (tall), things I'd never thought to notice. You also give your all to a session, but then are harshly criticized because you won't 'lick ass' or you ask a guy not to pull your hair extensions. These were mostly agency clients, btw, not independent ones.

When I first started, I was very naive, and fell in with a group of people I really shouldn't have trusted. Those days still make me negative on the business, because 1) I have a hard time trusting other girls, and 2) I have seen the dark, sleazy underside of the business lurking in upscale/"respectable" places where most people (including myself) would have never had thought to look for it. I have seen how corrupt this business can really be, and what greed can drive a person to do. To what extent someone can debase themselves, and how callous they can be toward others. I also see how, while I have NOTHING to do personally with such things, the presence of corruption is something that does affect me as a participant in this industry, whether I like it or not. They are my peers, and all of my peers' behaviors helps create the working conditions of this industry...the standards...and it absolutely affects me. So that's really depressing to me.

My lowest moment in the biz came a year ago. I was escorting part-time, but still struggling with my new career. There was an HIV scare to which I had an extremely peripheral link - yet, all around me, were girls taking more and more risks. I wondered how I could stay safe and healthy and also have good enough reviews to attract more clients. I didn't know if it was possible and I still ask myself that question now. So that can be sobering.

BUT, overall, this is a business about people. You just have to love people, and love making people happy. I think in this business, like attracts like. I consider myself a kind and caring person - I have generally (as an independent) attracted clients who are the same. The good thing about this business is that, reviews aside, the way to measure your accomplishments is with the relationships you build, and the good times you share. Every date is a moment in time where both people put their lives aside, and just concentrate on each other. A few weeks ago, I saw a client for a whole day in the middle of a busy work week for both of us. He took off work, so did I. We just had a great time, and lost ourselves in the moment. I could hardly believe that for a whole day, I didn't think about all the s*** I had to do. THAT was the accomplishment - not making more money, not completing a project to perfection. Just making someone happy, and creating a moment that we could both get lost in.

In that way, it can be more fulfilling than my other job...where, as a newbie, I work and work and work until I sometimes do the 'deskpalm' and want to shove my computer under a bus, but yet I'm never happy with what I do. Because as of yet, my skills are still developing...I'm always so frustrated trying to meet my ambitions. It's never good enough. Escorting is a welcome diversion in that sense. You can be perfectionistic about details like incall, wine, outfit, hair, etc. But when it comes right down to the EXPERIENCE, you just have to put your heart into it and make yourself open to the other person. And that's what ends up making a difference. So to me, escorting is about karma and positivity as much as bbbj and TER.

Sometimes from the guys side, we see the women, she looks great, shes smiling, shes a great provider and we forget all the shit that goes into it on your side on the ngative end. I cant really imagine what its like to have every single part of my anatomy scrutinized for perfection then ripped apart in some review. Its good to know the business allows you at times to get away from all the bullshit, even the hardships of everyday life, if only for awhile to relax, catch your breath, hang out.

I really am grateful to all the women who have made my day that much greater, for going the extra mile, for wearing that outfit I requested, for screwing there happy face on a day they night of felt like shit...Im fortunate enough to have women allow me to see them again and again and get to know them a bit. I do have to remind myself that this wasnt their ideal profession and yet they make it fun for me, time after time.

And yet, at times, there is a hollowness to it, but its not the ladies fault, or anyones really. I guess its just the awkwardness of the p4p situation and that does screw with human emotion at times. No matter how hard we all try, is it really 100% a business, 100% of the time? Maybe for some people it is. Its not for me. I have told  story here where a TOP 50 girl had a mini break down with me a few months back. She got very emotional over the business as we talked about some of this. I can tell you she isnt 100% business all the time. She asked me to stay with her LONG after our time was up otc. It had clearly stopped being about biz for her at that point. So thanks for sharing all that. I learn something everytime I hear a lady open up about something so personal.

Hi,

...  living facilitywithin the next couple of months!! Hopefully I can see a few ladies while in the facility as i get to feeling better!

It's never 100% business, when it comes to the interaction. If it was, it would be boring as hell. I feel that the girls who are 100% business attract assholes, which in turn reinforces their 100% business attitude. (That was me when I was with agencies, with a few exceptions)

For me, it's not ALL *business*, but it's always how I make my LIVING. It's an important distinction that so many clients (I'm not saying you, just what I've seen of my clients) fail to make. 'All business' means an attitude that clients are like ATM's....that we just tolerate people for the $$ and roll our eyes at them as they close the door. But it's not that way. It's a LIVING, it's what we take home to pay bills, feed kids, etc. But so many clients forget the living part, and then cry "ALL BUSINESS" when they are reminded that we expect to be paid.

Just like a waitress...she's not OK w/a crappy tip just because a table's really nice. And if you go to a friend's restaurant and sit in her section, you'll leave her a nice tip (because it's her living).



-- Modified on 2/19/2013 5:28:22 PM

but here is  how I see it.  Women, whether they be strippers, escorts, or porn actresses are as a group, far more harsh on other women than any man I know.  Far more.

Second, as to only strippers, escorts and pornstars being the only ones who get boob jobs, hold on to your hat, sit down and lemme tell ya, that 'tis NOT true.  The ex-Ms dude is an MD, nice high six figure income and is reasonably good looking.  She got a boob job, not for any man cause no man asked her to, but for her own vanity.  (she had great 36 C cups before surgery)

As to damaged goods, when younger I begged gals in the industry to date me.  they would not give me the time of day rather they went with bottom dwellers... who oft beat the crap outta them.  Right now one of my stripper friends is trying to get away from her ex bottom dweller hubby, and knows I would be better for her, but she just can't quite pull her head away.

Please, gimme a break - I've also seen gals transform from sex industry worker 0 to homemaker, professional lawyer, doctor, whatever.  My most tragic story was of one young student/stripper, who got the degree - with HONORS, landed a job with an up and coming IT company, had equity in the company and was doing well....  she jumped from the bridge and killed herself - and for what?  Cause she was in the sex industry? NO because her worthless shithead ex played mind games on her and she caught him in bed with another guy.

Please spare me your self pity - anything is possible if only you work on it.

Sorry I cannot be sympathetic.  Just seen too much

I mean on some days I would rather not deal with people just like anyone doing anything else feels. But I move past it. I love what I do so I can't really stay too down