Boards are a bit slow….thought I’d share an experience while it’s fresh in my mind.  This was my evening appointment yesterday.

Had a gentleman basically pester me into an appointment, once he finally gave up his employment info we set a time to meet.  I was a bit concerned because the language barrier was pretty large but I was encouraged when he called to ask if I would like some perfume or flowers.  Since I’m super sensitive to smells of all types, I requested white or pink roses.  He was about 25 minutes early, which was a bit annoying but luckily I had already showered and prepared for his visit.

Here’s where it goes sideways.  I opened the door and a large, well-wrapped bouquet of flowers was thrust in my face.  So, I figured this guy isn’t a smooth operator but I will make the best of it.  Before getting entirely in the door he reached out his hand and pressed it to my mid-section and exclaimed- “OMG I didn’t know you were pregnant!”  WTF???!!  I am a big girl, I don’t hide that- but pregnant?  Come on- that is a serious stretch.  I was shocked, but laughed and said, “nope not that I’m aware”.  Then he asked me to get naked so he could look at me.  At this point he doesn’t even have his coat off and I’m supposed to strip down and parade around?  I asked him to repeat himself and he told me “you are much bigger than I expected” and he was not sure he could perform.  I politely told him he was welcome to leave and I would completely understand.  To be honest, I didn’t understand- my pictures show my entire body and I have my measurements clearly posted (thou I am slightly smaller now).  Trying to be a professional and kind woman, I made my way toward him with the thought he would move toward the door with me.  Then he tried to argue with me, telling me to get naked, complaining that he is spending a lot of money and trying to pressure me with “when I go to queens they let me look at them”.  I realized that this was his first time with a provider of quality and nicely explained that this type of service doesn’t work that way and I do not think that we should proceed with an appointment.  All the while he is calling me baby ever other word and telling me I’m beautiful.  Again- WTF???!!  So, I asked more directly for him to leave- I had already suggested his exit at least 3 times- but had to resort to directly asking him to leave.  To top it off, he decided it was appropriate to grab the skirt of my dress and try to lift it and expose my legs and tender areas.  He was at least 4” shorter than I am, and I had heels on- and I was seeing red-rage!  I went into full-fledged howler-monkey mode and kept repeating “get out” “get out”- over and over again.  Still this knuckle head was looking me over, calling me beautiful and saying he wanted to play with my tits.  I had pressed against him, he took that as an opportunity to cop a feel- of course, to reach and open the door.  With the door now open- I pressed my hand to his chest and told him if he didn’t leave now he would regret it!  Finally this colossal piece of shit was out of my space.

I sat down at my kitchen table, shaking and crying and called a hobbyist friend of mine for support.  While we were talking, I stared off in space until my gaze fell on the flowers he brought.  I opened them to find there were 6 (yeah, that’s right- not even a full dozen) of the most pathetic, brown, half-dead and mismatched flowers I have ever seen.  There was about 10 pieces of baby’s breath and ferns to make it seem like a nice size bouquet.   Needless to say, I grabbed my keys, ran down the stairs and threw the insulting, tissue-wrapped mess in the garbage.

My final thought- this smacks of a setup.  It seems like someone was trying to hurt me- even the densest men don’t act that way.  I especially feel like it was not a legit appointment because the freak was sporting a rod as soon as he saw me.  Argh!  So, the next time you feel bad because you TOFTT- remember, we providers do as well and usually it’s not just money we lose.  I have never been so insulted.  I tend to get lots of “newbies”, but now I am seriously considering turning those away.

Let's hope the week improves...

XO
Melanie

-- Modified on 12/5/2007 11:37:56 AM

Dear Red:

Even though we have never met, I'm really sorry that the creep made you feel so bad.  No professional deserves that kind of treatment (and I do believe you that the vast majority of ladies in this business are professionals who provide a much-needed service).  I hope you will accept my personal apologies on behalf of all decent hobbyists everywhere.

I hope your luck improves quickly.

All the best,
Hockeypuck77

Hugz and more hugz!  So sorry to hear that you had to experience one of those many jerks out there in the world.  Keep your head up and know that there ARE some truly wonderful great guys in the hobby and hopefully in time, this jerk will get his karma.

Again, more hugz!

It's amazing to me how some people can be complete jerks to someone they don't even know. What's wrong with showing some respect for your fellow man or woman. I'm glad to hear that you weren't hurt by this creep.

Red I am so sorry that happened to you. I did go to your website and you are one gorgeous BBW red head to top it off and don't ever let anyone tell you differently my dear. Stay sweet. Just to leave my classy mode for a second, that piece of &*%$ will get what he deserves, karma is paramount...don't worry.

I am sorry you had this bad experience.  I am continually taken aback and amazed at the bad behavior exhibited by some men.

I took some time to look through your website.  Very impressive.  You are an extraordinary person and your pics radiate a sensuality that leaves me hoping you will travel to the Chioago area one day.

Hope your week improves sweetie.

Dear Melanie,

So sorry that you were treated so badly. I don't blame you for wanting to get back at him. I had the fantasy of leaving him multiple messages something like that movie, I think it's call, "I know what you did last summer." But, saying "I know what you did last night." That might get him to worrying. However, it might be a bad idea, in that he knows where you are and might be dangerous.

Take very good care of yourself, and I hope it never happens to you again.

Dear Melanie:

Like the earlier person who replied, I've never met you in person, but have seen your website, and it's clear you're a charming, lovely woman. You absolutely don't deserve this sort of crap. I'm inclined to think you're right; perhaps someone who'd met you and, for whatever stupid reason, left unsatisfied (probably because he couldn't perform) was trying to get back at you.

Let's hope this is the worst that ever happens to you, and that it rapidly fades from memory.

Steve

Even joking about retaining a hobbyists info for purposes of harassment is in extremely bad taste, no matter how deserved.

Harassing a hobbyist is one of the biggest no nos out there, right up there with stalking a provider. I know you mean well, and the guy sounds like a first class jerk, but some things should not even be joked about.

I couldn't agree more.  It is natural to want retripution but not appropriate to take it, especially within this business.  Over my life I've suffered some pretty harsh injustices (this incident pales in comparison) and while in my youth I took my own vengeance, with experience I’ve seen that you can’t act negativily and not have that revisited upon you.  So, while I am hurt and offended by this man’s actions I would never lower myself, not only as a professional, but as a human to waste anymore energy on him.  I have faith and experience in the saying- what goes around, comes around.

XO
Melanie

Hey, thanks for the heads-up. I will definitely keep such fantasies to myself, from now on. I'm quite new to posting on TER, so I very much apprecitate your feedback. Lesson learned and remembered.

Sweetheart

As a member of the male gender I would like to surrender an appropriate apology for one of my brethren's actions. Nothing can be said or done to make you feel better about what happened. Only time will lessen the hurt feelings.

Once again, dear lady, most sincere apologies.

b-

Sorry that you had such a creep show up for an appointment.  First a thought or two, then a question.  The guy sounds like the type of guy that probably just lost his virginity a short while ago, and I'm betting he had to pay for it.  In fact, he sounds like he's never gotten any for free.  He certainly doesn't know how to act around women, much less how to respect them.  I'm glad that you were able to get him out of your place without being physically harmed.  He may be relatively harmless, but then again...   Which leads me to my questions:  What kind of references did he have?  You mention that he pestered you, and finally relented in giving up his employment info in order to secure a session with you.  Is this all the verification process entailed?  I'm not trying to badger you, but I sense that he didn't give you any provider references?  Not that any of this is your fault, but it does sound like you kinda ignored your own gut feeling about this guy?  If I'm off base, please accept my apology and know that my intent was to only gain a better understanding.

BTW, I checked out your website and I liked what I saw

Not in this manner but recently in a civie relationship I said a very dumb - and stupid thing.  I regret it - but to tell the truth - it was one of those things that you do - and regret - and even if the offended party forgives you, things will still not be the same.  ever.

This person was highly insensitive... but I encounter that every day- in normal life... just driving down the road... and I attribute it to our increasing acceptance of uncivil behavior.  Why?  I wish I could blame it on one factor but I see multiple influences on our civility - everything from our govenment ignoring illigal immigration - to the guy in Beaumont Tx shooting a thief on his neighbor's property, to the return to WABC in NEW York talk radio by Bob Grant to increasing incidents or road rage, to the language of Rappers to the return to the airways by Don Imus......... to the insanity of sean Hannity.... yuuuuuch.

sorry - just too much inconsiderate behavior... I am however, glad that you did not tolerate it... as neither did my friend tolerate it from me.  (by the way, that was indeed a rare slipup for me - for the most part I try really hard to be a nice guy...)!

-- Modified on 12/5/2007 2:58:18 PM

That is so true... what I failed to mention below is that you are a very interesting contributor to the board, and from what you post you do indeed seem kind and wise....  That someone would take advantage of your ki

ndness by you agreeing to see him, is very sad.  What is even more troubling is that much as Travis Bickle at the end of Taxi Driver was left "out there" still roaming the night streets of New Your City.... this guy is still out there looking for a provider....  

That is kinda scary as this was truly NOT normal behavior.

So true. So true. But that also brings up the issue of common courtesy across the board (so to speak). The ease with which people show a lack of consideration, nowadays (sp?), can be intensely frustrating. I was raised to RESPOND to people if I am asked something. Not just just pretend they don't exist. With this manner of communication, that small bit of class is commonly ignored and replaced with, well, indifference and, for lack of a better phrase, a misplaced snobbery that people like David Letterman have made millions with.- sorry, I type the way I talk -(yea, I know too much!),

I can see why there may be questions about the verification process and I will answer…please post your handle and I will be happy to reply.

To protect other providers, I would prefer not to post the specifics of the screening process.

XO
Melanie

Truly, this was a horrible experience.  But it's common for guy to have a hard on when he sees a provider.  At least it is for me.  I get one as soon as I walk in the door and see this lovely creature I'm about to have sex with.

-- Modified on 12/5/2007 5:50:41 PM

I should have been clear- I would think if I was repulsive to him that he would not be able to maintain wood.  The fact that he was obviously aroused just seemed odd.  Perhaps just the pleasure of being nasty got him off.

XO
Melanie

Melanie:

I am so sorry this has happened to you.  I must say, however, that a jerk like this is not worth 30 seconds of your thoughts.  I was quite happy to read that you kicked him out.  After that, I'm sorry that it affected you so much that you would even think of him again.  

There are so many of us who respect and appreciate you for all you offer.  Please don't let it get to you.  You have many friends here, and to some of us, you are oh so much more.

Not only does no one deserve this kind of treatment, you are upfront about your appearance, including your screen name.  So anyone who would say that you don't meet their expectations or are not their type, would seem to be dishonest about their motivation.  It could be, as you suggested, that this person just enjoys being mean.  

Remember, anybody can be nasty about anybody if they want to.  Jennifer Love Hewitt was made fun of recently for some unflattering beach photos (which I have not seen) that suggested she had put on weight.  She pointed out that a size 2 is not  large and a size 0 is probably not ideal.  You don't need us to tell you that beauty is only partly in the eye of the beholder.  It is as much in the quality of the person - a quality you have plenty of.

The phrase TOFTT, as you know, originates from the fact that often we hobbyists don't truly know who we are going to find behind the door after reading an ad.  Your post shows how this goes both ways.

You are thoughtful and articulate and I always enjoy your posts.  Keep your head high and know that you are above such creeps.  Hope tomorrow is better for you.


filmat11




-- Modified on 12/5/2007 8:30:45 PM

Melanie,

Let me add my apology to the ones that you have already received for the bahavior of this savage.  We as men will not be able to apologize to you enough for what you had to endure.  Althouigh I don't contribute to the GD board that often, I regularly read your musings on various topics.  I find you to be intelligent, articulate and a deeply beautiful person.  I know that the experience was painful, but gain strength from the thought that there are many more people here that appreciate what you have to offer (and I don't mean just physically) than ASSHOLES that will attempt to demean you the way this hethen did.  

No one should have to deal with mean-spirited people in life, but we do.  There are many adults out there that have never gotten past the childhood stage of being mean and picking on others.  The lesson that many forget is that those that are mean to others are usually doing it to hide a shortcoming in themselves.  

You are beautiful and cared for by more people than that barbarian.  Rise above and instead of feeling bad, pity a (sub)human that either knows no better or is too plain stupid to be better.



Regards,



Bacca

This looks to me like some kind of performance. The guy had to have been an actor-- a very twisted one. He was either getting a kick out of jacking with you, or he was practicing for a part. I know that sounds bizarre, but so was this guy. When you described him accent and all, I immediately thought of Borat.

So, I don't think he did it out of cluelessness. I think he was acting clueless and being mean, using to accent to confuse you about it.

I'm sorry you went through this. This guy deserves to be in jail, boner and all.

some men just don't get it. Some have no class no matter what the situation.

For instance, a moment from the civvie world of dating. I was 19, smoking hot if I do say so myself and went on a date with a guy I met at a bar. He took me to dinner and it became apparent that he was a rude crude asshole so I wanted to bail out of that date early. He took me back to my apartment that I shared with these 3 guys at the time (who were out when I got back) and pushed himself in. I politely told him I was tired and asked him to leave. He said he was so turned on by me he had to cum so he WHIPPED IT OUT. I shit you not. He started jacking off as I was trying to get him to stop and get the hell out of my apartment. (Mind you, all my neighbors were old, so pushing a guy holding his dick out the door would still create quite the stir.) So he literally (in like 20 seconds) got off, asked if he could cum on me (HELL NO!) and I rushed to throw a paper towel at him lest my roomates find strange splooge, he zipped up and told me "Thanks bitch" and left. FUCKER. Still gets my blood boiling.

Point is, some men are just assholes and regardless of provider or civvie, they show their asshole nature. I don't think someone was trying to target you. I think the guy was just a tool.

Perk up. I'm sure you'll have some sweeties coming your way. For him, karma's a bitch. He'll get that back tenfold one day.

Katie

Your comments about the phone number reminded me of an experience I had this past year.  I finally got an appointment with a provider I had been trying to book for awhile.

When I got to the location I called and the operator said the number was not a working number.

I thought WTF!

I waited around in the parking lot for about 20 minutes hoping she would call to see where I was since by that time I was late.  No such luck.

After awhile people began to stare a little.  So I left.

Turns out I had keyed in the wrong area code, one number was wrong.

So sometimes things happen.

Great attitude Matt, you will learn much and do very well here.

I am sorry but I had to laugh... it was like reading a larry david sketch...

I have said it before I admire you ladies and what you have to put up with... you are a credit to our humanity.

I am wishing your week better! hope it helps...

HA! No shit.

Melanie darlin', we love you. As we get older it becomes clear that given a choice, it's better to be taken advantage of than to take advantage of someone else. The Big Guy Upstairs will make sure this guy gets his - regrettably the jackass won't even know it. -e

If you could have slammed his dick in the door.That would have got the neighbors attention. lol

Unfortunately I didn't want that kind of attention.

Katie

Sorry you had to put up with that. There are times when I meet someone in person & even though I thought we would hit it off via phone & email, we just don't click.

I would feel insulted as well. How can you proceed with the date after that initial comment & behavior?

Thank goodness guys are not all like that. Don't give up on newbies, I met two this week who were wonderful. They are out there.

Sara

-- Modified on 12/6/2007 5:07:04 PM

In some cultures, bartering is encouraged.  Devaluing the merchandise to get a better price is also part of their process.  

When a man from a 3rd world country comes in and cuts you down while still trying to stay, he probably has no clue he's insulting you.    

Please don't take his bs personally.  

As the pussy conquers the world

-- Modified on 12/6/2007 5:53:46 PM

Thanks! It's a pretty lonely feeling when one learns that he has "stepped in it" so badly. Thanks for the encouragement.

Fiction couldn't nearly be as interesting.

I am sorry that happened but man is that funny.  I mean its funny in that there is a guy who is actually that damn crazy and who can jack off standing up in 20 seconds.  Either he is one crazy SOB or you are just to DAMN HOTTTTT!!!!!!!!!