The problem is not with the scenarios you can conceive it's with those you can't. In the situation you describe, you're right that hobbyists find it in their own best interests not to expose each other; but you never know when someone could say the wrong thing to the wrong person, even inadvertently.
Assuming she wasn't explicit, I personally can't imagine what a non-hobbyist would do with the info, but that's why discretion is even more important. It wouldn't be the first time that seemingly innocuous behavior had unexpected consequences.
About 2 months ago I emailed a provider, one who has advertised for quite a while on the Eros Guide, re her availability. She responded promptly, but we did not meet.
Anyway, every few weeks or so she sends me an email with her pic, i guess when things are slow, reminding me of her availability.
Several days ago i received another one of these. It was an obvious mass emailing, there must have been appx 50 email addresses which she contacted, all of them easily readable in the address field.
A few names i recognized as acquaintances in civie life, who i had no idea were hobbyists. My particular concern, however, is that my email addrss is very simple : it's my full name@my ISP.com. So, the other 50 guys who have received this email now know that I hobby, again, a few of which are acquaintances [assuming they opened and read the email and scanned the entire address field].
This doesn't worry me too much, as i'm a widower, not in a relationship, no kids. The only possible problem is that one of my firm's clients in a conservative religious institution. I'm in no way involved in that acount, which is a small one, and have never dealt with any of those folks in the course of my work.
Am I being too optimistic in not worrying, or should I be more concerned? Perhaps set up a new email account which doesn't reveal my name? Would others be more concerned in these circumtances?
well this is only my 2 cents worth, but I think its not discreet to send out a mass email. and this is a discreet hobby.
I did send her an email very gently chiding her and pointing out why that wasn'tthe greatest of ideas.
Please tell me that when you did this you used a different email address? If she responds back, depending on her system, she may end up mass mailing the response.
I would get a yahoo - hotmail - gmail, type account.
As far as any previous e-mails? As uncomfortable of a situation as it might be with the people you may know, you both are held over the same barrel. So I doubt antything would be said.
It's all about fresh email adresses and aliases .. If they need verification for a meeting thats different, but you should protect yourself as much as you can. I'd cut that off at the knees.
figuratevily.
-m
I apologize on her behalf that she did that -
No, I would not worry about it.
There is nothing wrong with mass emails but she should have blind-carbon copied it so that your email address was not revealed.
xo lisa butler
This is out of bounds. You should reveal this providers info so the rest of us can avoid.
I am new to this hobby but this is an obvious bad thing to do!
I am not married and I don't care who knows about my hobbying, but I would still be concerned about a provider who exercises so little discretion.
It is possible, actually probable that she is unaware that her group mailings are not blind. I would advise you to first inform her of the situation. She'll probably be shocked
Secondly, unless you are totally ok with the possibility of others recognizing you, I would get another, anonymous e-mail addy.
Some obviously work or home addys. I can't understand why anyone would use anything but an anonynmous addy for hobbying.
but I don't care who knows about my hobbying. Anybody trying to keep secrets would be foolish to use anything but an anonymous e-mail address.
I would be concerned. Two suggestions are to explain the use of the Bcc field in sending out mass emails, if you have to send them out, and second, set up a hotmail account. It is free and should take about 3 minutes. Never use your primary email account for this hobby as it is too much of a record for LE.
Go to Hotmail and sign up for one...
It's much better than Hotmail or Yahoo IMHO.
But what others said here is right-
Regardless of your personal situation, you should NOT use personal info for hobby purposes. I'm sure at least a few guys of the 50 the provider emailed are saying, "Holy shit! My boss got this also!!!"
To the provider who sent out the mass e-mail - the bcc function. Learn it, use it, love it. You are potentially compromising somebody's job or marriage.
It's important to be up to speed on e-mail etiquette, specially when engaging in illicit behavior.
On the hobbyist end:
- Don't use your real name in an e-mail address
- Have an e-mail address just for hobbying, just as you might have a "hobby phone" that is separate form your cell phone
On the provider end:
- Familiarize yourself with the bcc function in e-mail. It keeps all e-mail addresses invisible except the one th recipient gets
It's not difficult, and can help everyone avoid unnecessarily disastrous situations.
Why in the world would you use an email address with your real name on it to hobby with? Even if you don't get an anonymous email address, most ISPs allow several email addresses to one account. While what she did was wrong, you bear some responsibility here too.
hmm thanks for the idea. I think it's pre-paid phone time. Never knew what those 'go' phone were for and such, thing I get it now. Not a stud enough to need them for side broads, but definitely for providers. Thanks for that!
Why I never thought of this I have no idea..
She crossed a major line of discretion, privacy and your personal safety. I would be VERY angry with her and I would let her know.
Doesnt matter the fact you are a widower. And yes, I agree...she basically "outed" other people as well.
Doesnt matter if her business is slow. Emailing clients (cold calling basically) is something a provider..or a GOOD provider should NEVER do. It is not the hobbyist responsibility to pay her bills, etc. That just iks me to no end when I hear of a provider doing that. Just goes to show ya..she has no class and doesnt need to be in this business. If she doesnt have enough sense to send anyone an email privately, imagine what she would be like if you crossed her???
However, one question that you can probably only answer for yourself is do most providers keep records of contact with hobbyists?
I have seen some sites though, where the escort states they will delete all information after verification.
But some providers seem to have a very good memory of their clients or they are perhaps keeping all records of e-mail correspondence.
I personally think correspondence with a phone is a lot safer.
my guess is she wasn't outing anyone on purpose, just wasn't tech savvy enough to use the BCC field
I would never use a work email for hobbying
According to this article in USA today:
Three-quarters of companies monitor employees' website connections in large part due to concern about inappropriate Internet surfing, according to a 2005 survey by the American Management Association (AMA). More than half retain and review messages. Most also have policies regarding personal e-mail use, and more than a quarter have fired workers for misusing the Internet. Thirty-six percent track content, keystrokes and time spent at the keyboard.
-- Modified on 12/23/2007 8:03:45 PM
Just set up a new email account and forget the girl.
No because if they know your a hobbiest and you know their a hobbiest And if they are married or have girl freinds nothing would be said. dont worry your not doing nothing wrong and it dose not effect your job
The problem is not with the scenarios you can conceive it's with those you can't. In the situation you describe, you're right that hobbyists find it in their own best interests not to expose each other; but you never know when someone could say the wrong thing to the wrong person, even inadvertently.
Assuming she wasn't explicit, I personally can't imagine what a non-hobbyist would do with the info, but that's why discretion is even more important. It wouldn't be the first time that seemingly innocuous behavior had unexpected consequences.
Same thing happened to me a few years back. The provider sent out a group E-mail (to around 100 guys) announcing her availability. Boy, did the proverbial shit hit the fan. There must have been 10-15 nasty E-mails immediately sent back to her (most of them of course denying that the hobbyist knew who she was and to remove their address immediately.) Obviously had anyone recognized my E-mail address it could have been bad.
I thought it was an obvious case of lack of discretion. I have since gotten a third E-mail; one for business, one for civilian friends and one strictly for hobbying.
But in the end, you need to be careful which ladies you provide information to. Do research and go with your gut instinct.
I'm certain clients on the list have informed her and more are now ex-clients. She's hurting.
No, you shouldn't worry about it. She's likely to be more careful from now on.
Yeah, that's pretty much my take on this -- a big error. She probably just wasn't aware that all the email addys would appear. To be truthful, I looked very closely out of perverse curiosity, as a few more no doubt did, but most probably did not.
I sent her a email and gently pointed out why what she did was a mistake. Others probably did the same.
I NEVER use the work computer fot this, it's always my home PC or a public one. I once entered the TER address into my browser at work, but NEVER actually brought it up and accessed it.
I was curious as to what other experiences might have been similar. I appreciate all the input and advice from the group.
i went thru much the same thing with a provider who got busted and i was probably one of her last few clients.
i have a "porn only" email which corresponds dircetly with my TER handle - this may not be the best idea.
one day on a goof, i also Googled my TER handle ... and was HORRIFIED to see page after page of my TER postings light up the screen.
comically obvious in one way, but i'd have thought that TER would have some sort of site protection to avoid this.
the more degrees of separation, the better.