well, if it talks like a drunk, walks like a drunk, and acts like a drunk... ;)

i'm just kidding.  whether or not you're drunk (and the stream-of-consciousness tone of your posting inclines me to think that you are), you make a very valid point.

"The fact of the matter is, I can see beauty in most everybody."

the superficial matters so little in the face of what lies beneath it.  when you can make a real connection to a person's inner self - or even simply when someone shows you kindness and care - the importance of their outer self falls away completely.

the man who was instrumental in helping me to blossom as a provider, as a sensual being, and just plain as a person is not ever going to be on the cover of GQ.  i can acknowledge that objectively.  but when i look at his face, i truly see beauty.  he untied the knot that was in my head and opened my soul to what i really wanted to give & to share using nothing more than kindness, unconditional love, and a gentle touch.  he and i no longer have a client/provider relationship, but i am honored to call him my friend, and i will always think he is beautiful.

the guys who scream mangina over and over and over again will NEVER be able to convince me that my work is soulless.  i believe my vocation has made me a better person in a number of ways (aside from the obvious benefit of making me a much better & more artful lover with an ever deeper appreciation of the subtle) - it's honed my intuition for other people in addition to heightening my self-awareness; it's helped me to develop a real honor for the absolute sovereignty of the individual; it's made me more compassionate, less judgmental, and given me profound insight into the workings of the human mind; and personally, i feel, it's helped me to establish a framework for what to look for if and when i do decide to seek out a relationship again.  we are human beings first, "hobbyists" and "companions" second.  and i do believe that there is beauty inside of nearly everyone.  we just need to meet the right people, to make us feel safe enough to show the beauty inside of our true selves.

in closing, KJ seems like a really cool guy. there's nothing wrong with making friends with whom you can feel safe to be your true self.  such a thing is invaluable.

Obviously, I'm not a provider, so I don't know what providers see first hand.

Certainly, a lot of ladies have posted complaints about the men being old, ugly, overweight, nasty, having poor hygiene, etc.

However, in my general experience, women are less superficial than men. They care a lot less about the outside than the inside.

That's not to say that a woman can't recognize a hunk when she sees one; but I think she will be faster to reject a hunky guy with a bad personality than a guy will be to reject a gorgeous babe with a bad personality.

Know what I'm sayin?

As a human matter, I think it is difficult if not impossible to completely separate how someone treats you from how you respond to them. So I think that, in general, provider reactions likely are more related to a hobbyist's behavior than his appearance.

But that's just a theory. I haven't hijacked any providers' minds to look inside. Government has these silly rules that limit the experiments I can do in my lab.

Outside of this  might be a bit vain and a tiny bit shallow but more than anything I appreciate a great personality and if you have a great sense of humor alone that's sexy by itself. I have a few very regular visitors that aren't who I would date IRL per se based on looks alone but that if i'd met them before/outside of all of this I would.  And i'm a terrible liar, not good at sugar-coasting and like 80% of those I see I wouldn't unless I was paid but I do agree confidence, personality and so on go A VERY long way with me.

I love a guy who is straight that can securely say if another man is ugly or not. That's not gay at all....not that there's anything wrong with being so. There's absolutely beauty in some that can outweigh the outside. I used to date what some would call pretty boys but I found more avg or not even all that avg with good manners (ex. open a d@mn door), can hold a deep convo, can crack some jokes usually appreciate a lady a little bit more.