What am I doing wrong in the initial outreach? I'm new to the hobby and everything I read (mostly here) suggested that I should be friendly on the initial outreach, indicate where it is I learned of them, describe the location I'm wanting to meet them at and when and be really vague on any of the particulars.

This week, I found some providers that aligned with what I was looking for on here and sent a text with variations of:

"Hello, I'm going to be passing through _your city_ this Saturday afternoon and evening on business. I learned of you through TER and wanted to see if you had any availability to meet."

Never heard back from any of them despite all three indicating they were "newbie" friendly. Now, maybe the TER was too strong, but again - it illustrates that I'm already informed to some degree of what they're offering without being more explicit or covering donations.

Do you have any advice on how to modify my introduction to improve my response rate (frankly, anything beats zero). Thank you!

I couldnt tell for sure from your post. If not, that is the first problem I see. Second, did you include your verification info they require for newbies? You didn't say. Third, if you were asking them for a date with just a few days notice, that could be problematic. They might be booked. They also could be on hiatus or just behind in their communications.  
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Moving forward, leave the TER thing out, make sure you put your screening info in your first email, and give them more notice, like maybe a week or 10 days. That should help.

Don’t just say hello, call them by their name and introduce yourself with maybe one sentence saying what you do or where you’re from. Drop the TER part, some providers are not fans. Just say you saw their ad or website. Indicate the length of appointment you’re looking for and whether it will be for incall or outcall. Give a specific time you’re looking to start and if you are flexible on that let them know. Send the screening info they require, it shows you are indeed serious about booking. If you’re not comfortable with their screening requirements then don’t contact them. Here’s my standard email:

Hello _____, my name is _____ . I’m ______ years old and I’m from ______. I came across your ad on ______. I’m hoping to book a _length_ appointment on _date(s)_  at __time(s)__.  You will find my information for screening below. I look forward to hearing from you. Thank you.

Good luck sir!!

Every lady is different.  And depending on what sites you are looking on, your initial introduction may give off LE vibes.  To dissect your intro: "Hello, I'm going to be passing through _your city_ this Saturday afternoon and evening on business."  That would indicate that you'd like to schedule in advance?  That all depends if said provider does advance scheduling.  Many do, but some don't as they like to schedule same day with just a hour or two heads up.  
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"I learned of you through TER and wanted to see if you had any availability to meet."  Another heads up, some providers don't even know they have a TER account as it is initiated by the client, so unless she actively states on her ad that she has reviews, I just wouldn't put that in there.  Simply replace the "TER" mention with whatever site you saw them on.  As a good rule of thumb you probably shouldn't mention TER anyways as some providers either don't know of it, or don't like it, or don't care.  Plus it protects you should you have a bad session and want to write a review.  I see a decent amount of girls in my area from Eros, mainly traveling Latina's, and I just send over a quick "Hello, name of provider, are you visiting, insert city" text and we go from there.  
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Of course all of this depends on if said provider even prefers texting for initial correspondence in the first place, what sites your looking on, and what level of provider you are trying to see.  

-- Modified on 11/16/2024 4:12:23 PM

This is my pet peeve personally if anyone reaches out without the booking details needed to take you seriously it’s a lot of back and forth emails that’s is lots of wasted time when you get 10+ inquires a day with the same method of reaching out with no booking information. Time wasted. Same thing with reaching out via third party website to book a date. I book my dates directly.  

* Why create a website if people are not respectfully reading the providers content entirely prior to contacting them?

Yes! I am available whenever your ready to send the deposit along with the very much needed bookings information all in 1 email 📧  

kiss 💋 keep it super simple

Tbh before I became a grown ass woman in this industry I had no problem going back and forth attempting to book a date because I had no added responsibilities.  We are all at different stages in life and live totally different lifestyles. Find the provider that fits your needs.

+ Any person who sends a surprise gift when initially reaching out is sure to catch my attention & will receive my gratitude and appreciation, so that’s always a great idea. 💡

-- Modified on 11/16/2024 7:27:14 AM

Good questions and thank you for asking. I personally respond to everyone that contacts me, some gals do not. The first thing I would ask you is are you checking each provider's availability? Most are going to have on their website their schedule so make sure you are checking to see if she is even available that day in the city you are asking. Otherwise you could say "I checked your schedule on your website and Saturday was not listed, so I am unsure if you are available."  
Second there are a lot of gals that are not going to respond to you if you A) did not mention a deposit and they require one or B) they require screening and you either did not mention it or send it. I personally do not do deposits and do not require your screening on the first message, but some gals do. Instead of saying "I learned of you through TER" I would be more specific. Did the provider post an ad? Did you read a review? Did you see a comment they made? Or did you find them on another ad site, like Tryst or Eros? Do NOT send a generic message to every gal, many will not respond if it is just copy and paste. Also if you send the same message to multiple people some email sites will send your message to spam (I know that gmail does this!). If you are traveling for work I always recommend trying to book at least a week in advance. I have guys that are in my area for work and try to book with me that day because they assume it is a smaller town I will be available. Actually the opposite, I am one of the few in my area so I am booked out at least a week. If you have any more questions please post them and best of luck!!!

What kind of screening info do you send out in an initial inquiry?  I'm not here to steer the convo for pro/con PII in strangers hands but I have to ask the question.  I'd consider references part of the process but if I sent 5 inquiries ahead of my next trip to vegas and my ref gals were getting hit with multiple requests to verify, seems like that faucet would dry up in no time at all.  Plus I tip them when they provide reference so there goes a chunk of cash...

@dw41,  
You  seem  like  a  very  kind,  respectful  and  worthy  gentleman.  

 
My  first  thought  is  you  may  be  contacting  Providers  whom  all  require  "deposits"?    
(You  did  not  mention  this  however).

        Thus,  upon  indicating  their  modus  operandi  for  meeting,  they're  just  ignoring
         you  possibly.

 

As  a  busy  "Professional",  outside  of  this  "Hobby",  I  prioritize  earnest,  referenced
Gentlemen,  whom  query  after  perusing  my  entire  Personal  Website,  following  exactly
my  scheduling  protocol.

 
In  my  personal  opinion,  ignoring  a  query  is  rather  discourteous  behavior.

       Since  this  business  is  "customer~service~oriented",  I  attempt  to  reply  to  "viable"
       inquiries  which  include  succinct  booking  information  required.

 
      If  one's  message  precludes  pertinent  information  requested  upon  my  Personal  
      Website,  or  if   it  is  rude,  vulgar  or  contains  a   "dick  pic",  then  I  shall  dismiss  it!

 
However  just  a  few  ideas  for  to  ponder....

 

●  Timeliness  is  essential  as  many  of  us  travel  regularly  and  you'll  be  disappointed  if
    you  contact  with  haste.

 
          I  for  one,  do  not  entertain  "last-minute",  not  even  for  my  regular  Clientele.
          Advance-notice;  if  at  all  possible  a  week's  notice  is  highly  desirable,  especially  as
          mentioned,  you're  from  out-of-town.

 
         Verifying  references  especially  from  outside  of  San Diego,  can  sometimes  take  up  to
         3  or  4  days,  sometimes  even  longer;  

 
        ● Due  to  time  zones..
        ● Again,  many  of  us  travel.
        ● Finally,  many  Providers  won't  actually  respond  to  a  "reference  request"  out  of  pure
               laziness,  jealousy,  lack  of  professionalism   &/0r  Business  acumen.  
     
       ●  Thus,  submit  "several"  References  of  Providers,  if  you  have  them,  not  just  the  
               "requested"  two.  

               If  only  one  replies,  then  it  becomes  a  tedious  back-n-forth  to  further  the  reference
               process.   If  time-is-of-the-essence,  chances  are,  you'll  likely  never  meet.

               I'm  busy,  so  I'm  going  to  deal  with  a  prospective  Client  whom  offers  up  the  most              
               information  without  having  to  do  extensive  research,  fact-finding,  and  "Detective"
               work  to  book  the  appointment.  

         
💡    Checkout  the  TER  "Whitelist"  which  is  a  key  tool  to  expedite  Referrals   💡

 

●     Do  your  own  research  by  "Googling"  their  "Stage Name"  and  City,  Email,  Ph#,  Reviews.
               You  may  find  that  the  one's  you've  chosen  aren't  even  going  to  be  in  the  town
                you  plan  to  visit,  so  that's  also  why  they're  not  responding.

                TER  only  allows  Providers  to  post  an  "Ad"  every  7  days,  thus,  it  is  not  always
                timely  nor  accurate  with  our  location
       
         

● Email  rather  than  text  if  possible.  
          A  lengthy  text  is  more  likely  to  be  dismissed,  unless  it  contains  pertinent  booking
          info  aka:  References  / Contact #'s  /Website Links  / Deposit  If  Requested

 

●  There  are  so  many  women  to  choose  from,  thus  contact  many  simultaneously  via  
     TER:

        ●    "Qualify"  and  narrow  your  search  perusing  Websites/Ads  which  specifically  offer  
                     whom  you're  seeking;   not  just  the  "physical"  package,  however,  the  donation
                     parameters,  deposit,   reference/scheduling  requirements  and  query  time-frame
                     within  which  to  book.  

 

●     Follow  procedures  requested  precisely.  
                       
                 If  a  prospective  Client  doesn't  follow  my  simply  request,  it   gives  me  pause  as  to
                 if  he's  one  to  cross  boundaries  in  the  boudoir....  this  is  not  a  person  whom  I
                 desire  to  spend  time  with,  despite  how  "well-referenced"  or  monied!
           

 
Good  Luck  to  You,
꧁꧂ ANGELINA  J0NES ꧁꧂

Usually RWI, which I have no issues giving out to reputable providers and then I don’t have to tip for the references. I don’t cast a net, I cast a line so if I do opt for references they aren’t getting hit up multiple times by different providers. In the OP’s case he indicated he’s a newbie so he might have to start with RWI to get screened. He asked how he might tweak his initial correspondence and I offered him my 69 cents on the matter.

you were just "passing through town?"  It makes you sound like a serial killer.  

 
Providers often will not go to the trouble of vetting a new customer who is going to be one and done.  Providers are always looking for customers that have the potential to repeat.  If you are "just passing through town," it's likely they will not want to waste their time screening you, especially if you are only requesting an hour.  

I appreciate everyone writing back with responses on how to introduce myself differently. Again, a lot of what I'd read here and elsewhere suggested that the initial outreach should be vague, but I can see how my intent could be misconstrued.

My goal in saying I was passing through for work was to be upfront that I'm not necessarily a long-time regular (though open to repeat business while in town) and that was there for work - not some 18 year old hitting the town, but a serious person.  

While I've participated in the hobby internationally where this was (more) legal, this was my first time trying to go through an ad, so the protocol was unclear. Generally, I've only run into providers that wanted same-day or nearly same-day notification, so it's good to hear that advance planning is an option for some. A great many websites suggested that a deposit was a near-sure sign of a scam, so while I completely get the security against a no-show and would be fine with it for someone I'd met before, I was more concerned about paying it and the provider disappearing on me.

I'm not opposed to screening requirements either, but just browsing through several sites, there doesn't seem to be a strong preference towards one or the other, so I figured I'd verify once I found a provider with a preference. I've heard of P411 - what is RWI?

Again, thank you for sharing your advice and experiences. Going forward, I'll aim to give more heads up, not mention TER specifically and be more direct about what I'm looking for.

A few follow up questions, if I may:

- When is the best time to request additional services (e.g. greek) and get confirmation of her going rate? I'd like to make sure I bring enough cash and give her sufficient notice, but if there's concern about LE, that seems like a sufficiently explicit request to make them weary of working with me.
- Is it worthwhile to wait a little while and reach back out to any of the providers that never wrote back with a revised introduction? Or is it a common practice to block suspicious numbers and never look back?
- I'd like to be taken seriously, but I also don't want to be volunteering all my identifiable information to LE waiting on the other end. While this isn't necessarily an issue for all the Marks and Johns out there, I've got a rather distinct and unusual name and would prefer some assurance that I'm speaking with someone more likely than not to be a provider. Is this just a risk I have to assume when talking to anyone (whether well-reviewed on TER or not)?

Thank you.

RWI=Real World Information

If a provider has a website, ads, profile here on TER or P411, active social media pages, etc… you are more than likely speaking to a reputable provider. I’ve seen providers that require a deposit and those that don’t. Never had an issue with providers that require it and have always been satisfied with the appointment. I do my research and trust my gut if I sense they aren’t legit. It’s up to you what you’re willing to give out in terms of screening info and paying a deposit and how you choose to mitigate the perceived risks you come across.

Many providers indicate services such as Greek on their website or ads and what the additional fee is for those services.

No harm in reaching back out to those you’ve contacted already. If you’re reaching out to new providers you can try sending a follow-up email 48 hrs later or so depending on your appt. timeframe to check that they got your initial correspondence. But if still nothing back just move on.

Good luck!

You got some great responses here. I hope these answers to your additional questions are helpful. I'm going to answer your follow-up questions in a backward order because the information flows better, and then I will address deposits.  

3. I am going out on a limb here but I suspect it would be okay to omit your screening information in your initial email as long as you include all of the other info that person is looking for (like date and time and location), and make it super clear you will send your real-world information (RWI, like a drivers license or a blank email from your professional account) upon confirmation of her availability -- and then follow through quickly. Of course, I cannot speak for anyone but myself, but I understand that someone may feel more comfortable sending their RWI once they know that the provider is even available.  

At the same time, don't waste your time reaching out to providers who screen if you aren't willing to be screened. I am assuming you don't have references now, but once a couple of providers screen you, you will be able to stop circulating your RWI to new providers if you opt to see providers who accept references. Many still do, and most who do require two.  

P411 could be an option for you; they require real-world information one time. P411 is not that widely accepted, yet it is still accepted by some. If you go that route, then you can only inquire with those who accept P411. And even then, that provider may still ask for some RWI. But once you have those references from those providers, you will open up some other doors for yourself with providers who accept references.

2. If you integrate what you learn in this thread, you *might* get a different response the second time. State the date and time you want to meet and indicate that while you aren't local, you travel to the area on business on occasion. If that isn't true, you don't have to say anything at all. Figure out how you are going to screen in ways that match what the provider asks for and indicate an absolute willingness to send that along once they confirm availability.

As for mentioning TER -- If the provider has recently used TER to post ads, then it's safe to say that the provider sees people from TER. But in the future, as you delve deeper into the realms of Tryst, Bluesky, and X/Twitter, if you can't also find the provider on TER, then maybe don't bring up TER in your intro.

1. There is never a great time to request additional services that aren't made clear in the provider's presentation. Scour the provider's listing, social media, website, and reviews. Get a good idea of what that person offers. If they never mention greek anywhere, then it probably isn't on the table. Providers go to great lengths to showcase what they have to offer, so if you don't see it, don't ask. Unless of course, the provider's ad copy says to ask (ie "if you have any fetishes that aren't listed, just ask"). Most likely they will want to screen you before discussing anything specific.

The same advice applies to rates. Read the information provided - most providers are up front with their rates because they do not want to negotiate. And as far as Greek is concerned, its often made clear through an upcharge that is prominently displayed. But not always! Usually, those who offer it as part of the standard package make that very clear in their ad copy. If you aren't comfortable with a provider's published rates or the uncertainty around any extra services you seek, then keep it moving until you find the right package for you.  

And consider that you might want to bring more cash just in case you extend your time together. You might be having the time of your life.

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Now as for deposits, they are only a scam when they are a scam. While it can be unnerving, you can avoid being scammed by not sending a deposit to a scammer.  

There are very easy ways to avoid scammers. Does the provider's rate structure make sense, or is it too good to be true? Can you verify this person is real through their social media, a personal website, reviews, or a history of ads here on TER? I would be very curious to learn the rate of deposit scams perpetrated by well-known, well-reviewed providers on TER or by providers with an active social media presence.  

There are plenty of clients on TER who wail about being scammed, but it's never by someone with any kind of presence. Oftentimes, the clients can't even produce a name. I'm not saying it doesn't happen. I'm saying that it is most likely to happen with fly-by-night types. Don't fall for one! Providers with an extensive presence are not going to risk their reputation or sabotage their entire career for a few hundred to even a few thousand dollars (yes, deposits can be in the four figures).

Again, don't waste your time or the provider's time by contacting a provider who says that they require a deposit. Many providers do not require deposits. Different strokes for different folks.

Good luck.

I sincerely appreciate each of you taking the time. Thank you for all your help!

First of all, being vague can irritate a person. You being vague can make each person take the vague part a different way. So, be certain as to what you want.

My outreach is almost always the same,  Heading “Meet”, body “can you meet incall on Tuesday at 11 for one hour? My refs are A, B, C. I looking forward to meeting you!” I may start with, “I saw you profile on TER, or I saw your photos/videos on ___. If the provider wants more, she will ask for it.

I have used P-4eleven almost exclusively.  More than 75% of the people I reach out to don’t have TER listed, or any reviews for that matter.  Breaks the newbie rules for sure.  When I reach out via the 4 eleven site, all my info is there.  Most will accept that and I have had solid luck there.  Most don’t want reviews. I believe that YMMV is why.

You said you are new; contrary to popular belief, I like to get straight to the point before I start screening. If I have said this once, I have said this a thousand times, don't worry about non responses or rejections. Screening is a two way street. Use the non responses and rejections as part of your screening process. I was new once so I get the desperation when you have not seen a lot of girls. After seeing the 100th girl, with regulars and agencies in your back pocket; the women will come to you and you are not going to care anymore. You will soon realize the real problem is you have too many options. You will also be dealing with providers flaky behaviors which remains constant throughout your search. All the more reason to get straight to the point before you book and screen. I am not saying to be a dick in intros, just be courteous, firm and concise. There is also nothing wrong with trying to book more than one provider at a time to see who bites first.

I can do simple - I appreciate all the continued responses!

Perhaps I'm visiting all the wrong cities, but I haven't had a lot of luck in finding ladies with recent reviews on TER, so I've taken to looking at other sites (domains mostly gathered from the links in old TER reviews). Perhaps as James suggested, many girls would prefer not to be reviewed, which is a pity for me.

I've thought about using P411 and started the process, but was turned off by it when it wanted my first name, and as I said, I have a rather unique one on my ID, so it didn't real nearly as anonymous as I'd hoped. After the Ashley Madison data leak fiasco and the FBI's interest in running ANOM, I've grown a bit suspicious of just blindly sharing my information with some random person out there.

You didn’t do bad but I prefer when a suitor adds his name and maybe his credential. But trust me you did not do bad.