This provider I have seen several times did something I can not understand. She was sitting on top of me in bed. She ripped the condom wrapper open. I couldn't see or focus clearly on what she was doing actually, because it was dim and there was soft music playing in the background while she seemed to be applying the cover. She then sat on my dick, it was full penetration at that point. I thrusted for a couple of minutes and she used her vaginal muscles nicely. It felt a different but I dismissed it as the lube she used. Still, I checked to make sure we're protected but to my utter shock, there was no condom on! I panicked and asked her why she would do something like this without my consent. She claims it was in the heat of the moment but when I pressed her if she does that with everyone in the heat of the moment, she said that it's only with me because she really likes me beyond a client. Being clean is a must for me since I'm planning on a child with the SO. I have suspected she has romantic interests because she texts me everyday and sometimes refuses my donations after several hours of play time. However, I did not think she'd go raw on me like that in a million years. Fast forward to today, I have tested positive for a fairly serious STD. Thanks to her because I did not see anyone after her. What was she thinking? Why would she do to me? She has killed my family planning with the SO for now because I don't want to risk giving this to my SO. I'm being treated now and it won't affect me long term since it's treatable, but I feel very angry and violated.  
Was I raped by this provider? To be fair, I was the one paying her to sex with me so there's a fine line of mutual consent but I have never consented to bareback sex. I have no desire to engage in bareback sex. Maybe it's all my fault for cheating on my spouse and I have noone to blame but myself. Thank you for taking the time to read my post. I'm very upset and needed to talk about this somewhere.

horns waggled maybe

rape  [reyp]  
noun  
1. the unlawful compelling of a person through physical force or duress to have sexual intercourse.  
2. any act of sexual intercourse that is forced upon a person.  
verb  
3. to force to have sexual intercourse

As for the OP, even if I stipulate that you are not completely full of shit. (Which I don't) It's hardly rape.

Is there anyone here over the age of about 17 who can't tell the difference between BBFS and CFS?  I call bullshit on the whole thing.

By Lacie GloverPublished May 07, 2014  NerdWallet

Despite increased education and awareness, the rate of sexually transmitted diseases in America is slowly rising. In fact, STDs cost the U.S. health care system roughly $16 billion each year, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).

Infection rates aren’t spread evenly throughout the U.S. or across different age groups. Young people between 15 and 24 represent half of all new STD cases. STD rates also vary widely by state—the state with the highest syphilis rates (Georgia) reports 47.5 times more infections than the state with the lowest prevalence (Montana). Read on to see which states have the highest and lowest rates.

 
STDs are easily confused with sexually transmitted infections (STIs), which are sexually transmitted viral or bacterial infections that have not resulted in disease. For example, human papillomavirus (HPV) is an STI that sometimes results in genital warts, an STD. The most common STDs, in order of prevalence, are chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis—all of which can be cured with the right medication.

READ MORE: The Cost of STIs

Chlamydia, the most commonly reported STD in the U.S. for the past 20 years, often goes unnoticed because it is usually asymptomatic. However, untreated chlamydia can cause pelvic inflammatory disease (PID), a condition that damages the female reproductive system and can lead to infertility. The CDC recommends that women under 25 be tested annually for chlamydia. While most people with chlamydia have no symptoms, an abnormal discharge and burning when urinating are warning signs in both sexes.

Gonorrhea was the most common STD in the U.S. until the implementation of a health initiative by the federal government in the mid-70s, which led to drastically reduced rates. Like chlamydia, gonorrhea is also often asymptomatic and can lead to PID if left untreated. Gonorrhea warning signs include burning when urinating and abnormal discharge in men and women.

Syphilis is less common than chlamydia and gonorrhea, but is potentially the most serious of the three if left untreated. Syphilis exists in a series of distinct stages and can be treated at any stage, but damage is permanent. The late stage of syphilis can take 10 to 30 years of latency to develop, but symptoms include paralysis, dementia, and blindness. The first sign of syphilis is a single painless sore on the genitals lasting 3 to 6 weeks, after which more sores and a rash appear on one or more parts of the body.

To determine the best and worst states for STDs, CDC data on chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis were obtained. States were ranked according to prevalence of each, and then ranks were added together to find an overall score. Using this system, the state with the lowest score is the “best state” for STDs, and the state with the highest is the “worst state” for STDs. In the case of an equal score, or tied ranking, each state’s chlamydia ranking was used as a tiebreaker. This is because chlamydia cases are by far the most commonly reported—over four times more common than the next most prevalent STD, gonorrhea.

READ MORE: STD Statistics by State

Best States for STDs

1. West Virginia
(48th for chlamydia, 41st for gonorrhea, 49th for syphilis)
2. Maine
(49th for chlamydia, 44th for gonorrhea, 43rd for syphilis)
3. Vermont
(46th for chlamydia, 46th for gonorrhea, 44th for syphilis)
4. Utah
(47th for chlamydia, 45th for gonorrhea, 42nd for syphilis)
5. Wyoming
(37th for chlamydia, 50th for gonorrhea, 46th for syphilis)
6. Montana
(35th for chlamydia, 48th for gonorrhea, 50th for syphilis)
7. Idaho
(45th for chlamydia, 49th for gonorrhea, 38th for syphilis)
8. New Hampshire
(50th for chlamydia, 47th for gonorrhea, 30th for syphilis)
9. Nebraska
(38th for chlamydia, 32nd for gonorrhea, 48th for syphilis)
10. Minnesota
(43rd for chlamydia, 36th for gonorrhea, 34th for syphilis)

 
Worst States for STDs

10. North Carolina
(10th for chlamydia, 6th for gonorrhea, 24th for syphilis)
9. New York
(11th for chlamydia, 16th for gonorrhea, 7th for syphilis)
8. Texas
(13th for chlamydia, 13th for gonorrhea, 6th for syphilis)
7. Illinois
(9th for chlamydia, 10th for gonorrhea, 8th for syphilis)
6. Arkansas
(7th for chlamydia, 7th for gonorrhea, 9th for syphilis)
5. South Carolina
(5th for chlamydia, 4th for gonorrhea, 13th for syphilis)
4. Alabama
(3rd for chlamydia, 3rd for gonorrhea, 15th for syphilis)
3. Georgia
(8th for chlamydia, 5th for gonorrhea, 1st for syphilis)
2. Mississippi
(1st for chlamydia, 1st for gonorrhea, 11th for syphilis)
1. Louisiana
(4th for chlamydia, 2nd for gonorrhea, 3rd for syphilis)

-- Modified on 5/14/2014 1:50:48 AM

You consented to sex with her under the condition that you would use protection. To sneak and remove or never apply said protection without your knowledge nulls your consent. No consent = rape. Rape does not have to be forced or coerced to be legitimate. For example, it is now considered, by law, rape in several states if a man pokes holes in a condom or tampers with a woman's birth control. This is the same situation. I don't know what plan of action you can take but that is not okay and she needs to face some consequences.

No, the scenario does not rise to the level of rape, lol. You could always contact LE and give them something to laugh about with their mouths full of Krispy Kream.

LMAO! That was worth a second read.

or even is actionable under torts or other civil laws.

But I'd like to toss this out for whatever:

If the situation were reversed, and the guy seemingly applied a condom but didn't, would that be rape?  (I note that one respondent already replied as much that it would be.)

You did not consent to having unprotected intercourse with her. Plus it sounds like there was some trickery involved what with her opening the wrapper and pretending to apply the condom. That's fucked up. Any sex act (regardless of the genders of those involved, consent in the past, consent to other sex acts, etc) performed under force, threat, coercion, diminished mental capacity, or deception is sexual assault. Granted, it may not legally be considered as such (states have different individual statutes pertaining to sex crimes), but in terms of the physical and psychological ramifications, it's rape.  

I'm very sorry that this happened to you and I hope that you'll reach out to your local sexual assault survivors advocacy organization.  

You consented to sex, so rape is out of the question.  However, a battery is simply defined as a harmful touching of another.  How do you know the provider gave you an STD?  Have you discussed this with her and did she test positive for the same disease?  Have you even told her about your infection?   Have you told your wife?  You are exceedingly irresponsible if you have not done these things.

All in all I find your story implausible.  Sounds more like a 50's high school pamphlet warning of the dangers of sex.

When people (men, particularly) don't understand what constitutes rape.
It does NOT have to be by force. It does NOT have to be while someone is under the influence. Rape is rape when there is any lack of consent OR consent is gained by deception. Regardless of the truth in this particular post, the situation described is absolutely rape.  

for reckless endangerment. I'm pretty sure there are statutes already in place in all or at least most states that address knowingly exposing someone to a STD without letting the person know.

sexual assault
Web definitions
a statutory offense that provides that it is a crime to knowingly cause another person to engage in an unwanted sexual act by force or threat; "most states have replaced the common law definition of rape with statutes defining sexual assault"-

That is straight copy/paste of my results when I put in "define sexual assault" on google.

Now, it is your job to decide this:

1.) Do you want to pursue, find out if you can press charges, decide if you would, realizing while applying the consequences towards your assailant, also outing (at the minimum) your cheating?
If you DO pursue legal ramifications, the SO *will* find out, you will HAVE to tell her before the fire gets too big... Would you try to "contain" the story as only cheating? Would you expose your hobby life, to protect other hobbiest? Do you feel the provider should be punished for what she did? Can you live with this ordeal being exposed? You may also want to consider your "employment" & the (negative) impact this could potentially have....

And then there is the other option...

2.) Keep your effing mouth shut & pray to God this never sees the light of day. Eat your antibiotics & hope you can keep the SO's hands off of you until the pills have done their job.
Cross your fingers for other hobbiest & hope this doesn't happen to them...

 
My two cents, for what it's worth (which probably ain't much) what is done in the dark, eventually comes to the light. This is pretty serious, consider the consequences either way, you take route 2, and somehow, your SO finds out about it anyway. Assuming this is a life-time commitment (considering you are planning on bringing a child into the world together...) losing your SO could be devastating at this point in the scenario.

 
You broke some rules, but you weren't trying to hurt anyone.
The provider def broke some rules, and whether she knew it or not (that she was infected)-
it has caused a whole lot of problems for you.
She violated you. IMO it was most definitely a form of sexual assault,  
unfortunately though, it is my opinion that means very little; it is the Law's eyes that count.

 
The question is are you going to bring this shit to light or try & bury it in a deep dark hole?
Either way, you got yourself into a nasty little hornets nest.
My heart goes out to you.
Best of luck to you either way you go & may God be with you.

-- Modified on 5/14/2014 10:22:15 AM

END OF MESSAGE

...could we maybe not laugh at sexual assault? This is why male survivors (particularly those who have been victimized by women) rarely come forward with their stories. No one wants their experiences invalidated (especially traumatic ones), and that's exactly what's happening.  

I love you, kitten, but try not to be a boner.  

END OF MESSAGE

He's saying first that she said she's does it with everyone in the heat of the moment, then he said she said she only did it with him.

So which is it? Also if she said she did it with everyone in the heat of the moment, and he's seem her several times, then she would have done it with the OP the first time?

I may be getting this wrong though because it gave me HEADACE trying to read it because there were no PARAGRAPHS, just one long post.

Hmmmm....

Btw, on a minor note, on top of everything else, "Fairly serious std"? that wasnt herpes or syphillis (or would have mentioned lesions) or HIV ( or would be freaking out more)... Let me write an antibiotic for you right now. Lol.

Here's some information about the laws and penalties for non-consensual transmission of an STD: http://www.criminaldefenselawyer.com/resources/transmitting-std-criminal-laws-penalties.ht

She put you at risk you did not consent to. She stole your right to choose. Never see that birch again.

and Larry, Moe and Curly climbed out slapping each other, wouldn't you laugh?

Sorry, but he wasn't sexually assaulted unless she intentionally gave him a STD. He is also not traumatized and I suspect that he is laughing the loudest.  

Don't fret, I wouldn't laugh at tether cat jokes.

Wait...I know I'm a little young for The Three Stooges, but they did a rape skit? Mind = blown.  

but I simply can't take troll posts seriously, nor am I going to feed the troll by pretending to give actual advice for an event that NEVER happened.

Trolls should not be fed, they only deserve ridicule. Like the troll Jack_Schitt freely admitted back in my mod days here, "Termites are so easy" you guys never fail to rise to the bait.

The ignorance of what constitutes rape in this thread is depressing. This is why sexual assault is trivialized, this is why so many victims go unheard. If OP is a troll, then at least he brought this sort of conversation to light because it seems everyone in this country (and world) needs to have a good long talk about what rape is and what consent isn't.

END OF MESSAGE

The typical board troll's goal is to get people all worked up over shit that nobody could possibly defend. Sort of like the "why are ALL hookers old and fat?" Then they sit back and laugh about all the people like you working yourself into a lather of outrage.

If you don't want thousands more of those kind of posts, you need to stop taking them so seriously. He has hit your hot button, and now he (or she) is sitting back ROFL at your outrage over something that never happened.

Are you saying that what constitutes rape is impossible to defend?

I'm not in an outrage at the OP or the post itself. I'm not in an outrage at all, but I am sickened and truly disappointed in how many people, including yourself, are trivializing the subject matter. I RARELY respond to troll posts (or really, anything on the GD board anymore) so I don't know how you can decide that suddenly I'm taking everything seriously.

My point is, people need to be educated on what rape is, not just on this message board but in general. This is something I'm passionate about and I couldn't care less how it was brought up, the fact is it needs to be brought up more often. I THANK the OP for starting the conversation.  

I might have been the first to call bullshit on the OP, but hardly the only one to do so. Almost everyone agrees the OP is full of shit, I don't care what the subject matter of a troll post is, it's still a troll post, and deserves nothing but ridicule.

The OP might have pushed all your buttons, but not mine. If you want to feed the troll, feel free to do so, but don't delude yourself, or even worse, attempt to delude us that this event ever happened. If this issue was so important to you, why did you wait until a troll brought it up in order to discuss it. Cat got your tongue?

I never said he wasn't full of shit or that the story was true, so, where is this outburst coming from?

I literally said the subject of what constitutes rape needs to be brought up more often and that I'm glad the OP, troll or not, brought it up.  

You seem to be the only person angry here that someone took the subject of rape seriously. I'm not going to apologize for seeing a story about sexual assault and wanting to inform the OP and anyone else who reads my response that yes, that is rape and yes, that reaction is valid. True story or not, would you be upset if someone responded so passionately to a film or novel that broaches the subject?  

How exactly would you suggest I bring up the subject of rape on a board for prostitutes and the men who pay us to fuck them? Considering the way you're responding to this particular topic, I'm glad I've never brought it up.

Troll post or no, we're a couple of feminist biatches proclaiming that men can be raped by women! I'd think that sort of discourse would bonerize the likes of you, Curly, et al.

You could create an OP on the rape topic...and maybe it would be discussed differently if there was no troll story attached to it.

But you must see that topics go up often that are simply for that "shock effect".  And then posters like you feed into it and create a thread that often goes sideways.

Can we discuss BBFS then?  That also seems to bring out the best in many folks here.

That's a serious topic as well...yet when an OP puts up a ridiculous rendition of it that simply allows for the replies to be cheap shots.

The topics discussed aren't the issue here...the way a topic is presented has much more validity to it.

As for men being raped...seems that most men reject that as a possibility.  Why not present a situation that some men here can actually identify with.

Let me just say, we agreed to disagree on the subject. lol

I will admit that women can be as manipulative, dishonest, and downright evil as any man, but I find most cases of "female rape" laughable.

I am just one of those alpha male dinosaurs on the subject I suppose, and quite frankly I just can't take the OP seriously, and even if I did, I still wouldn't say it constituted rape.

If we are going to say all deception constitutes rape, then how about when I was in high school and I lied about being in love to get into my GF's pants, does that constitute rape? It certainly was deceptive, and I doubt she would have fucked me if I had not lied about being in love with her, does that make me a liar?

This is not an outlandish situation, at all!  

Consider how many women have attempted to "trap" men with a baby via sabotage of their own birth control, or abusive men who have done the same. Just because the provider may not have some sort of malicious intent doesn't make this the exact same type of situation. In fact, considering how many high powered men have been hit with the "it's your baby" and swearing up and down they used protection, I'd think this is a situation a lot of men could at least understand as a possibility.

That said, we should be open to more options about what rape could be. During the Steubenville trial, a teenage witness said "I didn't realize she was being raped, I thought rape was like forcing yourself on someone." That sort of miseducation hurts everyone.  

Yes, it does make you a liar, but don't trivialize the concept of rape by deception. It's situation specific, you can't honestly, think that would be the same thing or think you have some sort of real point by comparing manipulating emotions to manipulating actual physical circumstances.

so I am discussing, I can't help it if you don't like having your own twisted logic used against you.

and FWIW my fictitious GF was no more real than the situation that they OP created, but the argument still holds true. Just where do you draw the line between "rape by deception" and "manipulating emotions" and just who is the one that is supposed to draw this very fine line in a court of law?

Rape is a very serious charge, punishable by years in prison. Just who do you propose should be the one to decide who should be prosecuted and who should just be written off as an asshole or a bitch?

That shit happens every day of the week...more often in marriages as well.

This example you give is close to idiotic in P4P.  Suggesting that a gal is seeking to find a dude to impregnate her is close to insanity here.  And use that as a rape situation is implausible.  

Want to try and be more succinct with a rape example?

It works better than just here hands.

I'm guessing she wasn't on any debate teams...ever!

So, you think saying you love someone is the same as:

-Tampering with birth control
-Impersonating someone else
-Claiming you'll pay someone for sex then not doing it once the deed is done

Because those all constitute rape by deception. There is a physical, actual consequence to the act, not just hurt feelings.  

Rape is not taken nearly as seriously as it should be. And there are not NEARLY enough actual rapists convicted of their crimes, and they definitely don't get decent sentences, particularly depending on their race.  

I believe all rape victims who are brave enough to report or admit what happens to them. Call me an asshole or bitch but "innocent until proven guilty" doesn't extend to those cases for me. I say this as a rape counselor, and I say this as a survivor. False rape statistics are not NEARLY high enough to assume that all or even a majority of victims are lying. Given how difficult it is to come forward, how trivialized rape is and how women are accused of causing their own rapes and men are assumed to be unrapeable, there's no reason anyone of sound mind would purposely put themselves through that for a laugh.  

Are you saying that tampering with a woman's birth control supply, giving a false name, or not paying a prostitute constitutes rape under the law?  

I don't think I've ever seen that on CSI, maybe because I've never watched CSI. But it seems like a stretch to say that any of those constitute rape. The word "rape" has a pretty specific meaning, and you water down the meaning of the word and the impact of real rape when you start to include unrelated actions under the "rape" umbrella.

For arguments sake let's just move this to a hypothetical situation. She did not rape him but deceived him into unprotected sex. He consented to intercourse. He thought he was getting protected intercourse but then found out otherwise. Okay she was fraudulent  and if he caught a disease, maybe she could be charged with something if proven but not rape. I am not a lawyer and this is but my very humble deduction of what I do know.  

I found this......

FBI definition of rape::::
The old definition was “The carnal knowledge of a female forcibly and against her will.”  
Many agencies interpreted this definition as excluding a long list of sex offenses that are  
criminal in most jurisdictions, such as offenses involving oral or anal penetration, penetration  
with objects, and rapes of males.  
 
The new Summary definition of Rape is: “Penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or  
anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without  
the consent of the victim.

Ok your mindset is becoming clearer and clearer now, but you still didn't answer my question WHO gets to decide what is rape and what is simply manipulation?

At least, a man was fined for removing a condom there. I'm sure it works both ways

If you follow her logic it started out as protesting rape as to a male.

When that logic evaporated she quickly changed her posts to create rape towards a hooker.

In either case she's reaching...and digging a hole deep enough to get to China in a few hours.

What's really bizarre is that at some point she claimed to be a "rape counselor".  I certainly hope that isn't the case since she seeming is able to create drama where there is none.

Sounds to me like he was accusing her that she might be bare backing with everyone in the heat of the moment but she claimed otherwise that she only did it because she likes him.  

 
But you're right it's hard to read with no paragraph breaks lol  

That's why I couldn't read this until now.  Makes even a drunk more dizzy

SHE get's to decide.  She's a rape counselor.  That qualifies her as an expert.

I honestly can't believe she has any counseling experience whatsoever...but I do believe she has a first-hand experience with a rape situation.

The anger she exudes tells all.  And honestly...I get it.  

But that doesn't qualify her to discuss with others how to deal with a sexual assault of any type.  That I'd leave to those trained to work with victims.  Not a victim looking to "get even".

the woman would be executed and the man would owe her family 100 camels.

Strange justice system. Stranger story.

END OF MESSAGE

I don't think it's rape but it does sound like something that violates SOME kind of law.  Reckless endangerment; "assault" - you were assaulted with bacteria or viruses that she knew would otherwise be blocked by use of a condom; or something like that.  

Depending on the infection and whether the clinic saved your samples, they might be able to genetically match your infection to her infection and prove it's from the same source.  

This also reminds me of Typhoid Mary.  From wikipedia, "Under sections 1169 and 1170 of the Greater New York Charter, Mallon was held in isolation for three years at a clinic located on North Brother Island." "Public-health authorities determined that permanent quarantine was the only way to prevent Mallon from causing significant future typhoid outbreaks."  I don't think she was ever charged or convicted of a crime (even though several people died from her typhoid).  

Good luck

...and I'm not sure about this story either.

o decide what is ridicules or not within the boundaries of a post?

I do not find this situation ridicules because of the fact I myself have heard of it being done.

When the victim reaches out for help, sympathy, or advise, you guys put a effing bulls-eye on his head.
Yeah, crucify the man because of what you people ASSUME.

Way to go!
Freaking excellent!
Way to elevate yourselves and your unbounded intelligence!
Bravo!
Shoot down someone who is reaching out...
And while your at it, shoot me, because I'm not callous enough nor jaded enough to think someone is full of crap because their rendition isn't as wondrously prolific nor as grammatically correct as ALL OF YOU or the Conan-c*ck-sucking team.  
Yes, eff off,  
errors happen, imperfection happens.  
That's why there is an EDIT button and spell check...

 
Men so often complain about providers being apathetic....
I wonder why.
Not only did the OP get flamed but anyone else showing a shred of human compassion and dignity towards the possibility that his post is genuine got some backlash.

I heard other providers say they received messages from men who "dare not post even though they would like to" because of the bunch of you- with your lynch mob mentality.

Please, if you guys REALLY feel like the OP is full of it, message him directly, be a MAN about it, instead of trying to flame, which is trollish in itself.
Eh, who's the bigger troll?  
Troll wars. ... Pffft.
Truth?
Men get raped. It happens.
Deal with it.
This OP is trying to deal with it  & you crucify him for trying to "cope" call him a troller, call him a liar...
Sh#t, I'd be humiliated, too. Going through the ordeal, reaching out, then backlash....

Just be glad it wasn't you.
(Granted I am sure most of you would have made damned well sure a *B---- never  pulled that mess on YOU cause ya'll are SOO Smart!)

Kick a man while he's down, why don't ya....
Sheesh.
It's no big wonder he hasn't really responded much...
Given the benefit of a doubt, and it DID happen, reread these responses.
Some of ya'll need a SPANKING in the worst way.
With a big thick sturdy old school leather belt, the one your parents obviously chose to forgo.
Or maybe a paddle... Yeah, a big wooden paddle

because it's obviously defective. The OP is a troll, just because you can't recognize him as a troll doesn't make him any less of one.

Almost every experienced poster here, both man and woman recognizes that this is not an OP worth taking seriously. Just because you want to "feed the troll" don't expect us to do the same. The OP is BULLSHIT, I don't know how that is so obvious to most of us and so hard to see for you and a couple of the more gullible members here.

Rape I dnt know since you were there by choice with inttent to have fun- personally I wud consider yes.

This does however fall under battery, a chargeable offense, if she knew she had something you could proove intent.
My guess would be she is trying to get pregnant by someone in order to commit some other type of crime like extortion, or justt to have a baby for a long term payment.
This is somthing that shud be reported to your fellow hobbyists. Girls like this ruin the biz for all of us!
This situation is something that happens in the civvy world &  the hobby is suppose to prevent guys from dealing with girls who are unbalanced like this.  
Oviously she wasnt being honest when she said he is the only one she does bare bacck with. The elderly & personls with comprimised immune systems may not be able to recover so quick frm an sttd even a minor one. She should loose her providing priveledges.

END OF MESSAGE