This is a good time to go wedding ring shopping and start the hiring process for a wedding planner.  That way when you two love birds get back together, she will be very happy you already have all that stuff done.  I recommend buying the wedding ring on eBay.  Maybe find the wedding planner there too, I dunno.  After that, all you need to do is make a down payment on a house, making sure you get a bedroom for every child you plan on having together.  Don't be a bad Father by having your kids share a room.  That's just irresponsible.  By then she will be begging you to come back into her life.  Works every time, happily ever after.

but this will be the last "I've fallen for a provider" post until further notice, or at least until this one falls off the front page.

I will leave this post up for the piranhas to feed on, but feed well, because this will be the last one of these kind of posts for a while.

You are so fucked!

and I think your thread is probably bs as well but what the fuck

Rule number 1 - don't fall for a provider. Remember that it is a fantasy.

Rule number 2 - if you start feeling something you should not be feeling run don't walk

Rule number 3 - whatheverthefuck you do - DO NOT say or do anything to scare your provider off with
                      your craziness or neediness or whateverthefuck

Observation 1 - as has been said by someone truly inspiring - "the hobby is a wonderful place
                     but nobody gets to live there"

Observation 2 - some people are just not cut out for the hobby....

Sounds like she's done with you!  Too late for the last one so I would suggest you keep paying to fuck as many strange women as you can until you find another one to fall in lust with.  This time just screw her, pay her and keep your mouth shut about your feelings...

You will get over her.  Time will take care of it.  Just try not to let it wreck your life in the meantime.

Don't worry friend. Unless you have an endless bank account, your fall is shorter than you think.  Helen Wait is her credit manager and unless she gives you free sessions, you're coming down to earth soon enough. Save yourself a headache and stop making a fool of yourself. Even if she likes you, do you think you are number one on her list of guys she might really be into?  Who's to say she is not just into other women? You know nothing about her really in the scheme of things and perhaps you've gotten bit as it is easy to do because lots of these women can fuck and if you're not getting fucked well outside of your time with her, I see why you have a problem. I like a few providers and would love to be able to see them anytime I want, but they're in business and the line forms to the right.

I just broke off with an ATF because she took advantage of me. I thought we'd have a relationship for years, but it had to end as the respect was gone.  It happens and you need to man up and move on, or you'll be a a stalker dude following her .. don't.

it's just an emotional fart. it will "pass". it might take a while deoending on circumstances but pass it will.

The only way we could help you is if someone invents a way to literally slap people upside the head over standard TCP/IP.

this is very stupid and you are an idiot.
This in the end is a business. If it doesn't feel that way to you, she is doing her *JOB* very well.it may be best to walk away from this hobby all together for you.
Let it go walk away and move on with your life.

I knw there are those who actually connect on both sides of this but few and far between Most likely this is not what happened. You are infatuated and its unrealistic Plus she has writen you off. Isn't that enough for you to know this is just a fantasy gone very wrong.

Number one -- she doesn't want to deal with you.

Believe it or not, this is a GOOD thing. She's not into you. Instead of taking advantage of your infatuation to pad her bank account, she is acting in YOUR best interests at a time when your judgment is clearly severely compromised. She's doing you a tremendous favor by not allowing you to dig yourself in deeper than you already are. She sounds like a nice lady to me.

From the perspective of a guy who has been seriously taken advantage of by civies who had no emotional investment in me a couple of times; you can truly count yourself as lucky.

Number two -- she doesn't want to deal with you.

Your primary task in that instance, and the most important thing is to make absolutely certain there is no way you can contact her, even accidentally. Remove any records in your phone(s), emails, etc. so you don't get in touch with her accidentally. Also, because hearing from her would not be good for you; make sure her phone number and email are blocked. I doubt she'd try to contact you, but make sure she can't just in case. More about "once and done" below.

Number three -- she doesn't want to deal with you.

Now, I don't know you from Adam; but let me charitably stipulate that you are a great guy. That is, that you are kind and thoughtful when needed, but intensely masculine when needed as well, that you are a good provider, in good physical condition, etc. In other words -- a worthy mate.

But she doesn't want to deal with you. Female mate selection is complex. It integrates a mixture of biology as filtered through culture, media expectations with personality traits and even sensing of your immune system. Add a dash of inexplicable magic and you've got the state of the art as currently understood. Thus, the fact that she rejects you does not IN ANY WAY reflect your intrinsic value. Given two women of equally attractive traits, one will dig you and another won't. That's just the way it is.

A lot of guys see a rejection of this sort as intensely personal. It may well be portrayed that way, and even in hurtful terms that challenge your value as a human being. But the reality is that it isn't personal at all. She may not even know WHY she rejects you -- that it is really because of some immune marker gene that governs your underarm bacteria -- and is instead specifying other faults and flaws as a proxy because she has no explicit awareness of the underlying causation.

Her receptiveness can even be affected by her use of birth control pills which bias her mate selection machinery to work as though she were pregnant -- which is VERY different than the choices she would make when ovulating.

So, look -- your underlying value is not diminished by this. Just accept this and move on. It doesn't change the underlying basis of your value; and her rejection -- no matter how it was worded -- is not relevant.

Number four -- she doesn't want to deal with you.

Every provider is different. Many of them have S.O.s. Some of them have S.O.s who are really extraordinary men -- men who are worthwhile and desirable in every way. I've met a couple of such men and been very impressed with their capacities and character. There is no way to overstate just how impressive these men are.

I wish that every provider who had an S.O. had a man like those guys.

But I have also met the S.O.s of a couple of providers that literally made me say "yuck!" to myself. Slimy, drug addicted, dishonest and just overall the kind of guy that makes you wonder why you'd pay a girl when she turns around and uses the money to support her freeloader; and makes you wonder what she really thinks about herself.

Some women -- and it has no relation to being providers -- are just really messed up when it comes to their mate choices. The issue itself is too complex to get into, but sometimes the most beautiful and capable of women have a worldview that puts them in the arms of horrific men. Therapist's schedules are full of them.

You don't know this lady. Not really. For all you know she rejected you because you aren't an alcoholic and her real preference is for guys with alcohol problems -- especially those prone to drunken rages. Again, don't take it personally. It doesn't really reflect on you.

Number five -- she doesn't want to deal with you.

You don't know this woman. You only see her during sessions. For all you know she's a lesbian -- bot bisexual, but a lesbian. She may not do guys *at all* except for pay. For all you know, when she's not providing, she is giggling fiendishly while pulling the wings off of flies.

Okay, okay -- I'm being extreme to make a point. The point is what YOU see is likely an act. Some providers are NOT actresses; but quite a few ARE.

You have become infatuated with an ACT -- a LIE.

The REAL her may not be lovable at all. Haven't you heard that phrase: "Remember, no matter how beautiful she is, some guy somewhere is tired of putting up with her shit." As a guy who has dated a couple of narcissistic model types in real life; I can tell you first-hand that it is true.

The ACTRESS accepts you. On stage. The real woman rejects you backstage. Be thankful. She knows things about her that you don't -- and is likely saving you from a world of hurt.

Finally ....

Number Six -- She doesn't want to deal with you.

It used to be that women played games like this. Really. They would reject a guy they really wanted as a sort of test to see how hard he would work to get her. There are tons of stories to this effect in Grimm's and Anderson's fairy tales. It was part and parcel of our culture. Rejection and pursuit. A bit of encouragement -- but not too much ... then more pursuit; a rejection, despondency, a glimmer of hope and more pursuit until the prize allowed herself to be won. It was quite an artform.

But in the modern era where female supremacist man-haters have taken certain forms of otherwise appropriate legislation to an extreme where mere subjective interpretation rather than objective behaviors can be used as a basis for civil and criminal filings; women do not -- or at least should not -- try to play that game. That game is GONE. The simple fact is that even dialing the number of a woman who does not want to hear from you can be turned into both a criminal and civil problem of gargantuan proportions.

She doesn't want to deal with you. Done. No further pursuit ... PERIOD. In the modern era, only a foolish man gives a woman an opportunity to reject him twice. There is no "three strikes and you're out and I stop pursuing." There is only "Once and done" for the wise man. She had a chance to accept you, and she lost it. She gets no further chances.

Accept your rejection; understand it does NOT reflect anything negatively about you and move on. Rejection by one is an opportunity -- not an end. It is an opportunity to be free for a woman who will actually accept and appreciate you.

Seize that opportunity rather than worrying over something that perhaps even the lady who rejected you doesn't understand.

ok hun ~ its simple .... your in lust.... it happens to the best of us but she is doing you a favor by taking a step back. The odds of success for a healthy relationship together are not in your favor. Being a romantic myself i will empathise and suggest if you think you could really love this woman tell her and immediately seek counseling together to figure where this started from...if its real...and the potential for a future. Best of luck and love to you both....rather than torture your heart figure it out and then who the heck knows from there right? peace xox ES

When you are with a REALLY GOOD provider she is at her best.  She'll focus exclusively on you.  She'll want to meet your every need.  She'll be supremely attractive, sensual, flirty, seductive, sexually available and extremely interested in pleasing you.  She'll complement your appearance, laugh at your jokes, show interest in your profession or job, and marvel at your superior intellect.  She'll make you feel like a king.  The VERY BEST can do this consistently in every single session.  It is easy to fall for someone like that.  All you share is joy and pleasure.  Your not responsible for her feelings.  You can easily convince yourself you love her.  In fact, you don't really know her att all (though it seems like you do at the time).  What you love is what she DOES for you.  If you marry her all of that sexual intensity will wane, life's responsibilities will take their toll, and she will not consistently treat you like she does (or did) when she was your ATF provider.  

THINK MAN...THINK.  Just look at what happens on these stupid dating shows like "The Bachelor".   They put these folks in an idealic environment fully paid for by ABC.  At the end two of them think they want to get married.  Then the show ends, real life comes flooding back into view and they split up.  

In short....FORGET THIS WOMAN AND MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE.