Some disagree by saying ladies in this hobby love sex & are naturally responsive, which may be true BUT just like men are more visually stimulated than women, women are more reliant on an emotional connection & intimacy.

Most providers who I've asked have agreed with me while most hobbyists have disagreed. I'm certain this has been posted & discussed before but I haven't seen such posts in my brief time on this board. It might be fun to see the feedback from this motley crew.

-- Modified on 5/30/2010 7:06:20 AM

If they are very good actresses, you will never know.

In a way, that is a part of the mystique that I like about the hobby.

I think that there are gals who sometimes don't even know for sure if they are acting.

I also don't think that it pays to disect this question too closely less the whole experience be ruined.

Long let mystery reign.

Unless part of the act also includes going off the clock, I wholeheartedly disagree!!!

A basic understanding of average female sexuality yields the conclusion that if the women involved in providing are substantively similar to other women psychologically; they are typically not having orgasms.

I have written about this in-depth in a prior post here, where I have integrated a lot of information you'll find useful:

http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion_boards/viewmsg.asp?MessageID=366081&boardID=12&page=

So, this argues VERY strongly in favor of providers being actresses in most cases. And I am reasonably certain that this applies to a very substantial proportion of providers in most circumstances. (Though NOT all.)

However, there is a serious assumption in that argumentation that is likely incorrect to some degree: that we are dealing with an exact cross-section of the female population.

I have no doubt that the entire range of female traits is represented in providers; but I don't think it makes sense to assume that a group of women involved in potentially dangerous, arguably illegal and socially condemned activities is identical to the female population at large psychologically. Women, in general (not all, but in general) tend to be risk-averse. Yet providers are risk takers.

Another way of showing that providers are NOT an exact cross-section of females at large is the prevalence of bisexuality. Across the adult female population, 4% have had a sexual experience with another woman in the past year, and 11% at some point in their life.(1)

Now, start looking up profiles and see the proportion of providers who "are really bisexual." It's HUGE. Factors more than the population at large.

A quick perusal of books such as "Brain Sex" and "Why men don't listen and women can't read maps" (among dozens of others) will quickly reveal that a woman who finds other women sexually attractive has a larger amount of congruence with the male brain than her heterosexual sister. This squares well with her disproportionate display of the otherwise stereotypically male risk-taking behavior.

And, looking at the postings from providers; and certainly at 7/8ths of the providers I have seen, they are disproportionately intelligent and educated when compared to the population at large.

So while providers come from the wider pool of the female population; they are disproportionately bisexual, disproportionately intelligent and disproportionately risk-takers.

This means that assumptions based upon averages for the female population at large are likely inapplicable; or applicable only with caveats.

So what I will say is that the majority of orgasms are fake, and the majority of interactions are just acting.

BUT, there is a proportion out there that is absolutely NOT fake and NOT acting. There are, in fact, certain providers out there who actually enjoy the sex, enjoy the interaction, and enjoy particular hobbyists that they see. They have real orgasms and really like at least some proportion of the men they see.

I know this for a fact because of personal experiences so unbelievable I won't relate them.

So what I am saying is that, as a general rule, the ladies are acting in most cases and the orgasms are likely faked. However, ladies exist who are absolutely NOT acting, are truly enjoying themselves, and are having real orgasms with men they actually like. This latter class, I think, reflects the differences between providers and the population group at large from whence they are derived.




(1) http://lesbianlife.about.com/od/lesbiansex/a/SameSexBehavior.htm

I look at it this way...a guy is coming to see me for a fantasy that I provide. Part of that fantasy is not telling him all about his short comings but focusing on the positive and that's where us ladies are quite good. We can find something positive in the confines of our task at hand(which is incredibly intimate and requires skill), that is attractive. Now, attractive in the obvious sense? Not always and most likely rare, but none the less, we can find something to initiate that connection that a guy is looking for.

As far as an orgasm...yes or no. As someone said.if it's that convincing you won't know and really, if giving a woman an orgasm is that important, go with what you see/feel and don't ask for the truth...you probably won't get it and you probably won't like it if it's not what you want to hear.

On a thread accusing providers of being actresses you use their profiles, written by guys fooled by the provider's acting ability, to gauge the level of bisexual interest?

Seems shoddy to me.

-tessen

Yes ...

Am I to believe that virtually ALL providers are "really bi?"

Or ... could it MAYBE have something to do with the fact that being "really bi" is something that can't be tested, but is a prerequisite for getting a 10 on performance?

In fairness, I know for a fact that some providers ARE really bi. Or, even, lesbians who would do guys for money but never in civie life.

But it really defies reason for that proportion of providers to be really bi.

Demonstrating that guys get fooled really easily.

Great catch! I was wondering when someone would nail me on that.

I think the best encounters are those where the two parties invoved actually get turned on by each other. If this happpens, things progress more naturally and there is no need to act, except for us to act like gentlemen and for the ladies to act like ladies.

I met with a provider who followed a script the first time we met based on her reviews it was a text book performance but still a 9. W3e seemed to connect after the firwrks were over and planned another visit.  The next time we met things even better, I booked two hours and we actally got more comfortable with each other. The last time we saw each other, we had 3 hours and sparks were really flying.

So what academic experience or references to studies, surveys or other sources lead you to make such an unwavering assertion?  I certainly would not agree with this statement just because you said so.  This comment is called an unsupported opinion, & not worth much discussion.  I have a lot of opinions as well, but I don't think of them as facts, and I don't cite them as reasons to believe/support an opinion one way or another.

... while male reviews aren't? Who is porn's audience ... men or women? Men overwhelmingly are the audience. If a man & a woman watch porn together, the guy is getting excited while the girl is wondering if she'd look good with her hair cut like the porn actress's hair. How can you POSSIBLY disagree that men are more visually stimulated than women? Studies aside, just observe.

then I will give your OPINIONS the weight they deserve.  Just don't try to persuade us that there is any factual basis for them.

It depends on the person and well if they are attractive. Sometimes even if he's not and he's really good at what he's doing in a visit then I don't need to act. And the more often I see a guy the more I genuinely like our encounters but again I'd like be lying if I didn't admit that if my visitor was actually pretty sexy it definitely makes enjoying things easier. I'm a mix of visual and the emotional connection.

Check out Kinsey Institute or Masters & Johnson for research on the sexual differences between men & women.

The good ones know just how to make you feel special.  

I don't know how many times I've actually had to say "it's okay, I don't need over top.  I know I'm not that good" or something like that when I run into a bad acting job.

The good ones slip into a character who is sensual, sexual and can read a man's moods and react accordingly.

go to the last paragraph and it will be summed up very nicely. For example that long, long post (even including footnote lol) became this:

"So what I am saying is that, as a general rule, the ladies are acting in most cases and the orgasms are likely faked. However, ladies exist who are absolutely NOT acting, are truly enjoying themselves, and are having real orgasms with men they actually like."

That could have been your entire post and still make sense and not be so painful to read. The ole saying "less is more" works often. lol Just pulling your chain sir.

As you point out, providers come from all sectors of the population, but (and I will restrict this comment to the ones who thrive in this business) there is a disproportionate amount of risk taking, intelligence, and other behaviors.

One important factor, which you left out is the money/fantasy. Let me preface that this is not all providers, but just another aspect of the dynamic.

IMO, to truly understand human sexuality (not that I do) you have to look at this from an anthropological perspective. For the ladies (gatherers) it is about gathering resource to ensure the survival of her offspring. Often, this includes obscuring parentage through multiple partners.

For men (hunters), it is about knowing the offspring is theirs, so that they do not waste resources obtained via risky efforts on someone else's genes.

Let's apply this to hobbying...

We cannot discount the arousal factor a lady might get from a man wanting to pay her for sex. Nothing is more elemental to a woman on a base/instinctual level. Typically, (civvie) women do these things to get/keep men. Providers are a much more independent lot (from men) I think. And let's not forget the power trip. For a woman who is providing as a choice (not because of a pimp, drug habit, etc), there is also a real power/control aspect. All the things we'll do get get that piece of ass.

What about the fantasy... we men complain about this so often in the civvie world (makeup, clothes, push-up bras, etc). Everything is designed to entice us to leave our resources behind... and we (and I) wonder/complain about is she faking an orgasm... (for me, the problem is the overly fake orgasms - 15 seconds in and she's screaming the house down - puh-leeze!).

For some men, it's about the trophy. Other's it's about the unscratchable itch of commitment. Yet others it's about the fantasy (what we can't get at home) or giving up control (I don't have to care if you cum or not).

Ladies, just remember, no matter what men say, the psychology of our manhood and worth (instinctually) centers around our dicks. There is something about being able to give a woman an orgasm with (that's why we call it) our manhood. This is probably why many woman have difficulty having orgasms via penetration - it keeps us trying. Look at behavioral training. You first reward for every successful act; then if you reward intermittently - the subject tries harder.

My last thought here... the whole thing, civvie or P4P, is a mysterious dance. Maybe if we all learn to just enjoy it for what it is, we'll all be better off.

Wonderful post...loved reading it and made complete sense to me. Especially this part..."My last thought here... the whole thing, civvie or P4P, is a mysterious dance. Maybe if we all learn to just enjoy it for what it is, we'll all be better off...."

I just wish that nature had been kinder to women and made having an orgasm as easy as it is for men...generally speaking. For some women it is, but for the vast majority it is not.

I think the numbers for orgasm with PV sex for women are about 30%, while the rest cannot. Crappy numbers! But biologically I can see why, however, that does not help the male/female sexual situation. I know there are other ways but wouldn't it be nicer if we were more in sync?

I once told my former ATF that she should go to Hollywood because she missed her calling. Don't know if I ever satisfied her in the bedroom but she sure made me think so and then some! I won't go into the rest of it regarding her acting skills.

All the preliminary stuff is just to support that conclusion.

You are a nice man.