IMO Rule Number One in the hobby is that we must respect each other's privacy.  That means NEVER exposing anyone or even threatening to expose anyone, except under the most dire circumstances.  That certainly does NOT include walking up to an escort in the street, or using exposure as a "nuclear option" in a personal situation.  I have even had the incredible experience of having a TER member respond to an honest difference of opinion on the board by sending me a PM, addressing me by my actual name, and making some kind of vague threat.

In other words, our hobby is nobody's business but our own.  Every hobbyist and every provider should live by that motto.

I have seen instances where a hobbyist will tell another hobbyist priveleged information about a provider. The 2nd hobbyist has another agenda and ends up deep sixing the first hobbyist who gave the original information. Once the provider finds out years of trust are gone and the provider won't see the first hobbyist again.

People will do anything to score points.

Re:Respect for Privacy is a Two Way Street

Thank you for the insights. I have hobbied and done the men's club circuit for many years and just this week for the first time as was at a restaurant and encountered  a provider whom I see regularly. I saw the lady first and I don't believe she even realized I was there.

Anyway when my friend left I took a moment to go by and say "Hi" because she was sitting alone. I asked if I could sit down to which she replied yes and seemed very cordial. We visited for 10 or 15 minutes.

Since then, I had already been wondering if that was a mistake when I read your post.

I emailed the provider today to assure her that I had no intent to do anything in appropriate but it is probably a little too soon to expect an answer.

Anyway, thanks for you candor.

OFF

Trust is very much a two-way street.

Kisses,
Vanica

There is a line here that is blurry when you add SINGLE providers to this list.

I agree to some extent on what you say but what you have written makes it seem like "friendship" with a provider is only possible if you pay for it. And I am speaking about non physical friendship here. Now don't get me wrong, I am not advocating guys go up to providers in public and ask "can I see you tonight" don't mix my words here.

I think a simple note on your website stating any contact outside of the hobby between clients is prohibited. That should help you out more so than not if you don't want to be approached by clients in public.

Re:Respect for Privacy is a Two Way Street

I had told a client that I was suppose to see the next day that my cell phone wasn't working and that I don't usually give out my home phone but to call on this particular number for our appointment. Meaning: only this time - hello! I even said my cell will be working again shortly thereafter. This also isn't a client who is a regular -- have only seen him a few times. I guess almost a month had gone by and he called again, but on my home phone. I guess he thought my cell was still not working. I only gave him my home phone for that particular visit about three weeks prior because of my cell being messed up. Instead of just leaving a message with his name, he also went on to address me by my stage name and said some other things on the message phone that were unacceptable. I had family staying with me at the time and I had a lot of explaining to do. When I approached him with this later, he blew me off like I was acting silly -- really pissed me off. So, yes, men can definitely break the discretion rule. I guess it's okay if they do it.

Hugs,
ciara

the hobby needs to be legal and needs to be professionalized so that providers will have the same respect as lawyers, physical therapists, social workers, doctors, personal trainers....  

Sadly, the leverage that the client had in this situation existed solely by reason of the social stigma society imposes on the hobby.

I have to agree, I have only seen a client out in public once & he was with his family & I looked the other way, we were both at the same restaurant.

I have been out with a fellow provider though & she recognized a client & just kept staring at him while he was with his wife. That made me uncomfortable. Did she think he was gonna come over and say hi, lol?

Sara