I’ve always wondered can you really tell when someone actually enjoys what they’re doing, or are some people just really good at pretending? Sometimes the difference feels almost impossible to spot. The eyes say one thing, the body another. What do you think is genuine passion obvious, or do most people just play the part too well?
what the differences are as i’ve been told it looks like i really enjoy what i do (which is true!)
Good customer service applies to all jobs, not just sex work. You can tell when someone is just going through the motions to collect their paycheck in any profession. If the nail tech or waitress is pleasant and focused on me receiving the best service possible I don't care if they do not have genuine passion for painting my toes or serving me the extra lemon wedges I asked for.
I've met quite a lot of women in my playing career, and I would wager--based on nothing more than their demeanor and behavior--that more than 50% were enjoying their choices at the moment when i met them. By the time you get to my old-ass age, you've seen what a genuine smile looks like vs. the strained variety, what it sounds like when someone speaks or laughs with joy and interest in their voice vs. a distant or mechanical script-read, what sustained eye contact looks like vs. distraction and avoidance, what fake porn-style moaning sounds like vs. tasting a woman's wetness develop as you put in some real effort with your DATY, what real physical engagement and openness looks and feels like vs. feeling like you're being stiff-armed for an hour. I could go on. And I have no problem acknowledging that I can be (and no doubt have been) fooled.
I've seen pretty sad flameouts--ladies who started a spiral of drink or drugs, who treated me with reactions ranging from indifference to contempt, who were stiff and uncomfortable in our encounter, who were either disengaged and seem to retreat to a place inside their heads during our time together, or who seemed burned out and tuned out.
Do any of those measures and observations prove the lady was actually enjoying herself? Except for the extremes (e.g. the women who were pretty much robots or borderline misandrist in their treatment of me when I met them) who can say for certain. I hope most of them did and I will continue to treat each lady I meet with the respect and care that at least creates the opportunity for them to enjoy our time together.
IMO, it's like acting. If they are really good at playing the part, it can be hard to tell the difference. But some are just bad at acting and it's obvious. Some might pull it off, but there might be a smaller hint that clues me in.
Also, when a provider says she enjoys it, it doesn't mean she enjoys it with every client. There are obvious turn offs, like bad hygene. But there are other turn offs, such as too old, out of shape, too hairy, etc... Or, it can be something a client does during sex, like keeps trying to stick his finger in her butthole when she doesn't like it, uses too much teeth when kissing or oral pleasing, or something else of the sort. Any of these can shift how interested an escort is, and sometimes it shows.
So ultimately, if the provider is a really good actress, I suppose it doesn't matter at the end of the day. Of course we'd all love to believe that we are superstars in bed, but the reality is that most of us probably aren't. That said, it is pretty easy to tell when you have genuine chemistry with a provider. Proper enthusiasm is pretty hard to fake for most people, and the ones that I really vibe with tend to be the ones that I actually repeat.
I have been around the block a few times and I can assure you the worst lovers are the guys that think they are very good looking and amazing in bed. They never are. The ones I always look forward to seeing again are usually pretty average looking, kind, funny, and gentle. If you can laugh in the bedroom that is a good sign!!
There’s a lot of truth in this.
I have been around the block a few times and I can assure you the worst lovers are the guys that think they are very good looking and amazing in bed. They never are. The ones I always look forward to seeing again are usually pretty average looking, kind, funny, and gentle. If you can laugh in the bedroom that is a good sign!!
so looks are less important to them. And I've found that they really appreciate a good sense of humor, so if you get a girl laughing it will pique her enthusiasm.
Not sure where this claim originated, but it's simply not true most of the time. Most women that I know, both gay and straight, are more aroused visually than by other means. Perhaps this was the general thinking in the past, but it doesn't bode as much in today's world.
I don't know if you're right or not. But as a gay woman/mongerette, I must consider it. All I can tell you is that my direct experience with a very bi (and I know that's different) female monger here conforms more to my position than yours. But let 10,000 flowers bloom. (Yes, that's Mao. lol).
At some point as a boy, visuals didn’t do much, but shit dammit if a girl or lady touched me. Then, one day, I reached a ripe age where I would stare at Heather, that was the hot girl in our school, in her short tennis skirt and old woody would just grow. This went on for a bit.
At some point I became a man. Just staring at clothed Heather didn’t do it anymore. But nudie mags, porn, strippers, hottie naked in my bedroom, all got woody up before he was even touched. This lasted quite some time.
Then I got older. Like much older. Almost old man older. And just looking stopped doing it. Woody needed to be touched. But it didn’t take much more.
But then it did. If she was a bitch or turned me off in other ways, Woody would get pretty stubborn. Even if she had a nice body. That just wasn’t enough. But if she was nice, Woody usually played along.
A few years went by, and Woody needed quick attention. If Woody wasn’t the center of it all, Woody would get bored and find other interests that relaxed Woody too much, if you catch my drift.
See over the years, I think Woody became more like these women you described. But for most of his life, he was more like the men you described. Woody is an evolving being.
-- Modified on 11/10/2025 8:00:41 AM
...from the perspective of a man, you begin with telling men and women how women think and get a response from a woman that disagrees with your original statement. You follow that up telling a woman she may or may not be correct about what women think but to soften your condescension, you quote Mao, lol?
So many of your other writings now make perfect sense!
For having an opinion and an open mind. Thanks for making it clear that you do not, though it is hardly a surprise.
PS: Are you aware that the woman poster in question is an out-of-the-closet lesbian? And also one of the smartest posters here. The result is that I like her and am open to her opinions.
I'm well aware of who she is and to be honest, I've got a long standing offer that a trip to the strip bar is on me if we're ever in the same town at the same time. Joking of course but if it were an opportunity, I'd definitely hit the bank for that experience.
It's still humorous that when a women clearly states that women she knows, both gay and straight, are more aroused visually than by other means, you're response is to state she still may be wrong. You base this on the opinion of a single, bisexual woman you know. Now, I'm curious. Did you call her up and tell her you were in a chat on how women were aroused and solicit her opinion before you posted or are you going to tell us this was gleaned from some recent, casual pillow talk?
I'll yield if you just want to reply that you were just talking out of your ass when you posted that. It's OK Icky, nobody is perfect.
First of all, I didn't "base this on the opinion of a single, bisexual woman." The idea that men are more visually triggered than women is an extremely common one to the point where it's almost a cliche. It's been discussed here many times before. How did you miss that?
As to the rest of it, you have completely mis-characterized what I said. Lopaw doesn't seem upset, so why are you?
You also seem to have brought your long-standing beef with me from another board, so congrats on that, too.
What next? Are you going to default to your threat that people who tick you off end up picking up their teeth?
Dang didn't meant to get you both stirred up about this. Just making some casual conversation and took no offense from anyone. Let's get back to talking about hot girlies 👯👯👯
As I said above, I was happy to have your perspective on this and am a fan of your posts. But someone saw an opportunity to pick a fight and, if you're familiar with him, this is mostly what he does here.
The only thing I agree with him on is I'd love to be your wing man at a strip club any time.
This is a place to find great sexual experiences, share some of them, and have some playful (and occasionally informative) chat. My platform for 2026: Less shouting, more shtupping!
Icky- "All I can tell you is that my direct experience with a very bi (and I know that's different) female monger here conforms more to my position than yours."
Yup, totally aware of the notion that men are thought to be more visual creatures and have used that in discussion before but I've never had the stones to tell a woman that says women are also visual creatures that she might be wrong.
As long as your intent on digging, please tell us how differently a bisexual woman would look at another woman than how a lesbian would. You were very intentional in making that point, I can't wait to hear how YOU think THEY should think!
Disjecting your post a little more, I'll note this phrase is also a bit problematic. "But as a gay woman/mongerette, I must consider it". If a straight or bisexual (or very bi) woman would have rejected your 1975 cliche, would her opinion have not been valid simply because of her sexual preference? And other than word salad, what is the difference between bi and very bi? Is very bi a woman that is a lesbian but stuck in a marriage to a man? Dunno, just spit balling here and trying to help you walk around the rake this time.
The phrase is attributed to a 1975 essay by Laura Mulvey, a British feminist film theorist. After 50 years, it's probably just cliche at this point. FYI (just trying to bring some educational value to the post)
Apologies Lopaw, this really isn't about bringing a feud from another board and certainly not about you. I've been told many things by the ladies of TER but I've never told them how to think. I really don't like when they tell us how to think either so it's not a white knight thing. My post would have been pretty much the same if it were anyone else trying to speak on the behalf of how the opposite sex thinks. Doesn't matter, it will be pulled shortly after he complains to the mods.
Please see above, where yesterday he once again repeated his lie about my complaining to the mods and that his post would "be pulled shortly."
Well, guess what? It's still up. Now watch him whine that it's only up because of his prediction, which kept me from complaining. He's starting to sound more and more like another recently banned poster who would blame me for his banning as he always did.
What a pathetic crew of....
1. Why the opinion of a straight or a bi woman doesn't have the same value of a lesbian's point of view regarding how women are visually stimulated.
2. What is the difference between a bi and a "really bi" woman?
C'mon, as the self-proclaimed woman expert, I'd like to know and maybe the straight, bi, really bi and lesbian women would too!
.....do I need to put a pic of a big black dick in the post to get you to respond?????????????????????????????????
Maybe, as with guys, all the girls(or boys) get prettier at closing time. 
How are you moaning heavily when we've not even gotten on 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Is is a good sign when providers start recommending their friends and family to you. Either a) they think you are a really good client or b) they are trying to pawn you off on someone else. Which is it?
Extra time, extra services. You get the point.
Of course she can enjoy her job; but IMHO, to really know she enjoys me requires going beyond that paid client/provider relationship.
I always telll how I’m feeling based on my face lol people can tell when I’m not into it but love it when I’m into it hehe
Some of my best sex was with escorts who were into sex. And when I just started seeing them I was wondering if it's for real or they were great at their job. After consistent results, I asked myself - does it really matter? It's a win win either way. But yeah I could tell with them.
There are many who do their job so well and they should be commended for it. This after all is a tough job and going above and beyond, trust me. Us clients do notice it. And in a way that is more impressive to me. After all if you love what you're doing your work is easier. If you might not love the job but work super hard to accommodate the customer....that is very impressive. And like I said, people do notice.
And a lot of times, effort and accommodation is a difference between a decent one and done sesh, and a "good, I'll repeat again because of attitude" type of session.
I've found that nymphs aren't too common, so it's probably my preference just because a girl who loves to fuck is just incredible and sex is so spontaneous and primal and fun.
But again, I do appreciate and give flowers to hard workers. And repeat with them. Big thank you to everyone who works hard to pleasure us and make our day better. And again, anyone who goes above and beyond - clients do notice.
But generally speaking if I see a provider she's going to either be into women or be very curious about it, and both scenarios to the best of my knowledge have proved to be a pleasant experience for both of us. It's not rare for me to linger a bit afterwards while we chat, often going well past the allotted session time. And TBH, if a provider wasn't having any fun but was able to win an academy award for her acting, I'd be fine with that as well. Sell it baby! 😏
I personally am genuine in all my interactions. However, every provider is different, and you'll never really know, honestly. What you dooo know is that it's all consensual and in the best interest of both parties. So just have fun and enjoy 
Yes I can tell who actually enjoys what they are doing, and more importantly enjoys seeing me! Most of the time I am seeing repeats who I know want me to come back. With new girls, if I’m not certain that she enjoyed herself I will ask at the end of the session if she had fun and wants to repeat. I am aware that as an old guy some girls will be thinking, “yick, go away”! That’s perfectly fine, I only want to fuck a girl who enjoys fucking me! If the girl’s body language doesn’t deliver the message, hopefully her end of session convo will make it clear how she feels.