Agree with others that when you walk into a strip club without that high-school fantasy of getting laid one may tend to be more relaxed and that may show up as greater confidence. On the other hand, strippers are by dint of their profession quite competitive and their interest in you may have been as much influenced by how well you tipped the waitress. And please remember that a strip club is NOT, repeat NOT the real world. The ladies there may be involved in as much ego stroking as a good provider. When you have a couple of hot civvy MILFs fighting over you in the frozen food aisle at your local supermarket, that might be proof of something.
Does the hobby tend to artificially inflate your self confidence? Do you find it is easier to pick up attractive civie women after your experiences with providers? I will say I have had more experiences with women (providers / dancers) that I would rate 9 or 10 in the past few months as compared to the last 2 decades.
I have to admit, I was at the strip club today and I had a VIP stamp and experienced something interesting. When I was sitting out in the general area the most attractive dancers were practically fighting over me (as dances in the main room were $10 and VIP room dances start at $25).
I would also say the very attractive providers I have seen recently (past 6 weeks) catering to my every need and telling me what a great lover I am (lol) could easily have me inflating my confidence well above normal levels.
So here is my question: Does hobby experience translate to the real world? Or, is the civilian scene just as brutal as ever?
Is that because you no longer have to worry about getting laid, your fear of rejection definitely goes way down. You can be yourself and be confident out in public and not worry about what people think of you so much because tomorrow night you can go get laid anyway even if tonight no one at the bar looks twice at you. So in that sense I think you certainly reduce your fear, which increases your confidence.
I have found my hobby experiences translate into my civie relationships and meetings with new women. Women can smell desperation from a man and it's usually a big turn-off.
We chicks call it "single man syndrome", and yes we do steer *way* clear! It's not so much that we can smell it, but we do see it's symptoms - lame jokes, uninvited and impersonal sexual advances, and the desire to buy impossible amounts of drinks for females, no matter what the hour or level of attractiveness of the beneficiary.
Who knows why that just happened to you? If strip clubs are you're thing, well just chalk it up to good fortune. Let's face it, you're probably not gonna get laid in a strip club.
The girls fighting over you could be 1) you are a big tipper, 2) they perceived you as a big tipper, or 3) they saw you as an easy mark.
Probably, you gave dancer number 1 a big tip for a little extra rub, and the other girls found out, and there you are.
Remember, their job is to make you spend money, which you apparently did.
Strip clubs are not the hobby. Don't confuse the two. Hobbying is here, strip clubs are wherever you are.
Get your VIP membership here and get out of the strip clubs.
It depends on what you are talking about. I'm married so I don't go around trying to hit on civie girls. I did notice an increase in the amount of attention I got from hot strippers as soon as my wallet came out the last couple of times I was in a club. My ATF also tells me that I am great at DATY...I'm sure that couldn't possibly have anything to do with the envelope full of cash a few feet away... OK, honestly, I see guys posting here all the time that are high on their own egos. I guess it can happen but you have to keep things in perspective. Would the beautiful 30-something Filipino lady I was boinking last week give me the time of day for free? Probably not and I know it! Just because you are paying a girl does not mean every nice thing she says to you is BS, but it doesn't mean that some of isn't and the bottom line is she wouldn't even be in your room if you were not paying her. That's all I need to remember to keep my ego in check.
While I haven't tried the "new me" in the civvie world because I need NSA and plan to keep to the hobby world, I have noticed:
More comfortable talking to women Don't feel the need to be anyone but myself Much more open Able to be in the presence of a pretty woman without acting like a fool
I attribute it simply to having spent some amazing one on one time with very accepting amazing, and yes, beautiful women. It is a confidence booster, and not necessarily inflated unless of course I were to begin seeing myself as anything other than a middle aged man who feels more comfortable with women!
Agree with others that when you walk into a strip club without that high-school fantasy of getting laid one may tend to be more relaxed and that may show up as greater confidence. On the other hand, strippers are by dint of their profession quite competitive and their interest in you may have been as much influenced by how well you tipped the waitress. And please remember that a strip club is NOT, repeat NOT the real world. The ladies there may be involved in as much ego stroking as a good provider. When you have a couple of hot civvy MILFs fighting over you in the frozen food aisle at your local supermarket, that might be proof of something.
Women (& men for that matter) always want what they can't have. I don't necessarily have confidence with non-pros, but I sure don't care about getting laid. Being cool is all about indifference. Women can tell when we're in heat & when we're not.
Getting us into heat is a natural biological urge for women...it's a challenge they can't resist.
I have stated this before-perhaps the best bonus of the hobby is that it does affect your non-hobby life. At the homefront, I am not put off when my wife is not in the mood for weeks at a time. When she is, I find that we both benefit from the fact that I am not pushing for sex and that I have learned a few 'tricks' from my hobby that spice things up at home. I wonder too if my wife has some 5th sense intuition about my hobby (which as many, I indulge more during business travel than in my home town) since she literally f&$ks my socks off just before I leave town for work?! And then, there is the benefit at work which is coupled with an increased confidence that comes from great sex. When dealing with a whining or pain-in-the-ass coworker, I can't help but think that all this guy needs is a good provider for a few hours and I become more sympathetic.
Anyhow, the bottom line is that if you feel confident, people sense that the moment you walk into the room. Caveat here: don't be a blowhard and go too far.
I can't say that I have ever experienced a "change" in my confidence. However, I do know that my experience with many great, absolutely hot providers has meant that I have never been intimidated by the thought of approaching a beautiful woman because I have usually slept with someone hotter at some point in my life and will again.
Does this mean that I can pick up a hot chick anytime I want. No, I am a fat man with a small dick and little money, but I am usually happy because of the hobby.
But a strip club is not a normal social dynamic. If your talking about a NIGHT club maybe. or a bar. I mean if your talking any situation where its fee-for-service.
They may just pick up on the fact you are loyal to their type of cause, not that you have new found game. Us, that are supportive or loyal to hookers/providers/call-girls/escorts/strippers, tend to give off a vibe that we are accepting of them. By the way, this IS ATTRACTIVE TO THEM, but they will still take your dough.
I love one strip club. The spearmint Rhino in vegas. The hottest girls I've seen in my LIFE go there. Girls I'd pay 10g's to f***. the deal is this...
Everytime I go there, I am the pickiest idiot in the world. Sometimes I get no play no one even comes to me. For example the last time I was there I turned down 15-20 girls (the volume is crazy at that particular venue)
They are indeed just.. strippers. I get this half-brazillian-half-italian broad who is easily a 10. who sits on my lap as a challenge because no one else could even break me in that club. I gave her some paper, but in that case it was more about the challenge, she realy only earned about 200 less than the average LA provider. (80 bucks). I got a great lapdance and some great filibusturing for more dough. I let her go and didn't take VIP, but I got a great experience for a pretty cheap buck, and in sin city.
The point is, don't take anything seriously that happens at a strip club/whore house/vegas center bar/tijuana/certain districts in LA/amsterdam/phuket/phillipines/et.all.
Unless your in a primarily 'civvie' environment your not seeing your ROI. It certainly can increase your self-esteem, but the problem with this practice is it's a double-edged self-esteem sword.
My point is, buddy if you got paper c notes benjamins, enjoy the paid attention , those 'real world' encounters are entirely too much trouble and rubix cube difficult. To get the caliber girls you PAY for and ravish, you'd have to have some great looks and/or insane game (or millions..), and thus why these girls stay in business.
Especially in So cal, the only girls your taking home are 5.6 160 pounds, and will bitch and nag you for 300 hours. Enjoy these providers, and whoever else you can pay to take the ride with, if you have the dough , I SAY it's rewarding 10 fold.
I'd challenge you to stop seeing a civvie advantage and just bang away at smokin' broads and laugh at your friends and colleagues who are forced to stick with the 5/6/7 crowd.
Yes I think it does something to you, as I notice that after seeing a great Provider GFE then for a few days after that when I pass a good looking regular girl that is attractive and give her a look their reaction (in a good way) is quite a bit different that normal!? Don't know if it gives you more confidence in the way you look at them or if they know you're a "hot" blooded guy? Also, I think if you look at a Provider in public (you don't know her) they can pick you out from everyone else!? Think has happened to me a couple of times at an outdoor restaurant during lunch.
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