Some things are different and some things are the same.
I'm with Carrie, in her second and third sentence. HarryLime and Cumtothinkofit wrote beautifully.
I've certainly learned a lot - volumes. Some things make me happy, some things make me sad, but all in all - valuable.
This is mostly addressed to hobbyists and providers who are relatively new to the hobby, but anyone can answer. (I myself have only seen four providers, starting in early August.)
1. To hobbyists: has seeing providers changed the way that you view women? If so, how? Has it led you to a deeper understanding of women? Has it led you to think more or less highly of women? etc. (Note: I recognize the fact that generalizations about gender are tricky—ultimately, we differ much more in our individuality than do by virtue of gender; however, I do believ some generalizations are possible.)
2. To providers: essentially the same questions, except in regard to whether your views of men have changed since you entered the hobby.
That should say "than we do"
and "believe" Sorry for the typos 
... but thanks for even thinking about typing and spelling correctly
1. There are women in the world that really like sex and have a sexuality strong enough to find something in our encounters.
2. There are women who can think "outside the box" on issues regarding their lifestyle
3. there are women with lots of determination and drive who can look at the world as it is and find ways to achieve realistic goals.
Harry
Just knowing that there is a beautiful woman out there who is available (albeit at a price) allows me to focus on the civilian (I hate this word) women without letting my physical interest get in the way...
I've been a provider for two years and it hasn't changed my attitude towards men at all. I've almost always had positive relationships with boyfriends, I like the company of men and I have more male friends than female. That's still the same as it was before I started this line of work.
I've met a couple of providers (who were/are very successful) who really have a low opinion of men but I imagine they had that opinion before they started providing. Didn't stop them being very good at what they did, it's kind of always puzzled me how that could work....
Just a question, sort of to play devil's advocate a bit, not so much to deride you or your opinion, as much as to get at the nature of the original question of the thread:
Do you think it's possible, that one of the reasons you have a rather positive view of men, and one of the reasons you have had positive experiences with boyfriends as well as with clients, is that ...
... you obviously are capable of giving men what we want? You're strikingly beautiful and you're comfortable with sexuality. I mean, gee what a surprise, that there wasn't as much aggro about relationships with men, as other women have experienced.
Thoughts?
Time for me to go off on an amateur psychology trip here!
I believe many women (and men but we're talking specifically about women here) who repeatedly end up in relationships which aren't healthy for them have self-esteem and confidence issues. I believe how you view yourself, your worth as a human being etc has a lot more to do with enjoying positive relationships than the things you mention in your post. After all, attractive and sexy women end up in unhealthy relationships just as much as anybody else.
I have found that the women engaged in this profession who are at the top of their game are more open and honest than the majority of their civilian counterparts, especially the ones older than about 27 or so. By honesty, I mean the whole playing games part that comes with starting and maintaining a relationship.
When I'm with them I can be myself. I don't have to to try and figure out if there's another agenda going on below the surface. It has taught me to just relax and be myself in general. I don't really worry about what someone else may be thinking about me. I'm kind, intelligent, well read, courteous, and polite. I'm as honest as social conventions dictate, i.e. I'm not above the polite white lie to grease the social skids (yes, the quiche is wonderful!).
I like women very much and in many cases prefer their company to men. I have many more female friends than male friends. I don't think that seeing providers has led to a deeper understanding of women. That comes from hanging out with them and really listening to them rather than trying to figure out how you're going to get invited back to their place.
It hasn't changed how highly I think of women, either. I like being with people who have integrity and character. Gender doesn't matter. Again, the really good providers that I've seen have both. In a few instances I've formed really good friendships with them. If you really want a deeper understanding of women, form a friendship with a provider and run your relationship questions by them. They're really good at telling you who's full of crap, what the real agenda may be, and what hidden question was _really_ asked.
As my alias suggests...I love women...i loved women before this "hobby" and those women who (and I think I've met some doing this)have a low opinion of men are either not all that successful or need to be better actors. I think most of the time it shows through. Especially if we men are not Mr. Universe, when we walk through the door you can tell. You read through many reviews....no chemistry...will not return...ymmv...these are indicators to me. Now if one or two out of twenty read that way...then maybe there was a problem with the guy...but if 3 out of 5 read that way...I just avoid the lady. But I'm sure there are guys that feel if they are paying they can abuse or degrade, as I;m sure there are women who just go through the motions to make the money.
This is human nature, but the trick is to read through and try to avoid those women (for us men) and for us to remember that we all deserve respect even if we leave an envelope when we leave.
I have discovered from hobbying that seeking true intimacy with a woman is always desired but most often frustrated.
With most civilian women your time is spent getting to know THEM intimately all the while wishing to get sexually intimate with them.
With many providers I find myself wishing to get to know THEM as intimately as I do sexually.
In all; Women remain a complex puzzle, an exasperating frustration and the greatest reason to wake up each morning.
Some things are different and some things are the same.
I'm with Carrie, in her second and third sentence. HarryLime and Cumtothinkofit wrote beautifully.
I've certainly learned a lot - volumes. Some things make me happy, some things make me sad, but all in all - valuable.
Sedona, honey, you are helping me learn how to be neutral.
Neener neener.
Some really excellent posts on this one.....
As for me, I am in a similar situation as Prof3, as I, too, am relatively new with about the same number of encounters. While these experiences have not changed my view of the opposite sex, what I find most admirable about these women is their ability to "buck the system" and live their lives with a sense of independence that I can only dream about.
Ironically, I look at the providers I see in *less* of a sexual manner than their civilian counterparts and I ultimately want to find out about their personalities and "what makes them tick" before any intimacy takes place, if possible. To me if the person is really cool and down to earth, then that makes it all the better. I guess I'm a little weird in that sense......
...and an interesting one, at that.
Some providers are willing to share aspects of their personal lives, and that's often interesting...sometimes evoking admiration, sometimes sympathy. Perhaps it's the intimacy of the setting but it seems as though I've observed more candor, honesty and openness than in other conversational settings.
It's inspired a respect for independents, some for their "survival instinct," some for their determination, some for what must be extraordinary acting talent.
....what I was surprised to find is that the ideas I had about the type of gals who were providers was wrong. Sure, there are ones who undoubtedly fit the sterotypical notions that I may have had in the beginning, but the vast majority of the gals I've been with are not like that at all.
They are each their own person, with their individual reasons for having become involved in the business...with their own dreams, likes, dislikes, & opinions. In short, they are just like every one of us...an individual, a real person with real feelings. I've met some ladies I genuinely like & care about just as I would with any friend in civilian life. What they do for a living doesn't have to change who they are any more than my being a client changes the person I am. Had I not discovered that I probably would've ceased being a hobbyist.
Thinking along the lines of greywolf...
I have found it more difficult to stereotype women. Being with providers has made women "more real" to me -- they are people whose attention I can hold, whom I can "do stuff with", regardless of the fact that this is a commercial transaction.
On the downside, it has made me see (some) civilian women as much less confident (in general) than their professional sisters. Got to watch that sterotyping!
-Hoot.
If any thing my opinion of women in general has improved over the past three years of the hobby. For every gal I have met that was not into what she was doing or made me feel uncomfortable there have been ten that were great. And out of those ten, two or three that were down right mind blowing. I have been very lucky.
Just yesterday I came back into the hobby after a three month leave for personal reasons. The girl I went to see was someone I had emailed several times and talked to on the phone two or three times. She was much younger, I'd say about 23 and I was a little nervious getting back into this for the first time. I brought a bottle of wine and was planning to sit down and talk about some things before we got started. When she opened the door she had a big smile and gave me a hugh that led to a soft kiss. I felt like I was pushing even though as I look back she did all the leading. I realized I had left the corkscrew in the car and excused meself and ran off to get it. When I came back I opened the bottle and poured two glasses. She came over and took the glass out of my hand, put her arms around my neck and began a long passionate kiss. My hands dropped to her tight ass and on the bed we went.
My whole purpose in giving that narrative is what other place in our lives could you meet a beautiful young women and within minutes be in the depths of sexual passion. And both feel good about each other when it was over. It is truly the best of all worlds. I truly have missed the hobby so much.
SlowStart
-- Modified on 11/2/2003 6:02:19 PM
And I wish I had experienced this change earlier in my life (in my 20's would have been nice!). When I was younger, I tended to be much more conservative, kind of a goodie-two-shoes... and put women too high on a pedestal. Thus, I was perceived to always be the "mister nice guy". I took my girlfriends and relationshps too seriously. I think many of my past girlfriends felt smothered.
I've found it extremely liberating to know that animal passion works in both directions. Women are strong and independent creatures, with strong desires. She doesn't want me to wrap her up, put a bow on her and put her on a pedestal. She wants to have wild, passionate sex, she wants to be adventurous and experiment with her sexuality. While she wants to be treated with respect and to be with a generally "nice guy", she also desires that adventure and freedom just like us guys.
I agree with "CumtoThinkofIt"... if I had to do it over again with my SO, I would look for my sexual and intellilectual soul mate first, then see if the intimacy, respect, love, and long term compatibility is there...
Prof3,
In all honesty, my opinion of men in general has not been changed in the few months that I have been a courtesan. However, my opinion of marriage and a man's opinion of marriage has changed drastically.
Yours,
NightRose
-- Modified on 11/2/2003 11:17:55 PM
I think I was born with my blinders off! I say absolutely no. I see the same people here as I do in my everyday world. Doctors, Lawyers, preacher's daughters, sisters, mothers, etc...
I have been a by the hour, paid for my time, consultant for years. For some reason the government considers my work somewhat more legal, but I think really no different. IMHO.
I see the same strengths and same frailties in the women I have met as providers and in “real” life. I have seen the same addictions and same generosity. I have seen the same independence and same co-dependency I see everyday in most people I meet.
So I can say that no, there has been so shift in opinion. I will say that I am truly grateful to have providers that add to the love and community in my life.
I have always loved women since I was a very young man. Women fascinate me to no end. I always thought that they are truly God's most beautiful creatures. I love the way they look, the way they move, the way they smell, the way the feel and the way they can nurture a man's soul; their warmth, softness, gentleness and their strength. I have also always wondered just how it would be like to make love to each of them as well.
Since I have been hobbying, I have had that wonderful opportunity to experience them in that manner. And, it has exceeded my wildest dreams as they are even warmer, softer, gentler and stronger than what I had previously imagined.
One downside is that now when I see a pretty lady, I start to calculate in my mind how much I would spend to have her even though that isn't necessarily a viable option!
Before I became a provider I believed in manogamy and now I don't at all. I thought like most people do, at some point in their lives that, there was someone out there who could satisfy all my needs. Being a provider has opened me up to reality.
IMHO, it is not human nature to be monagomous for either sex. I have met many wonderful gentlemen who are married or attached and can tell they truly love their GF's or wives but, have need for other human contact outside these relationships for many reasons. I find no fault in this, I believe it is basic human nature.
Being a provide has made me a more loving person and opened up a whole new world to me. I am much more confident in my sexuality and as a person. I no longer allow societal norms to affect me in the same way. It has allowed me to feel guiltless and to truly enjoy many men. If anything it has raised my opinion of men in general.
Sure, there are those guys I sometimes meet who are not so wonderful but, they existed when I was "dating" and these people always will, both male and female. I feel much more free and loving since I have embarked on my career as a provider.
I just wish more women had men would become sexually liberated. The world would be a much better place.
When I first started, many moons ago LOL, I believed that the ladies looked down on (secretly, if nothing else) the clients that they had. Now that is a stereotype. I wondered if they found it pathetic that a man had to "pay for it."
I was so pleased to find out that (in the vast majority of cases) that wasn't it at all. I believe (and hope) that the ladies I have spent time with think I am a pleasant, interesting and sensual person to get to know.
I have been extremely lucky by meeting and talking with many of the ladies. Their advice, on several occasions, has been terrific. I won't forget what one lady from MN told me, "never settle for anything. The right person for you is out there."
To me, the hobby is not just a great sexual outlet, but also a fun and interesting evening. Yes, there is money involved, but the companionship and conversation is priceless.