from time to time some wag posts that the "disclaimers" are BS and others wonder why playtime specifics should not be discussed in making arrangements.

BUT the first line of defense against difficulties as a side effect of the hobby is always one's own method of doing business.

some of us face consequences from being outed for patronizing the ladies. they can range from mild embarrassment to ruin AND we need to be able to convincingly answer questions like "do you pay for sexual favors?" with a credible "no!" we may need to answer a suspicious friend, SO, or, in the case of folks with security clearances, a polygraph tester. so the "no" needs to be a convincing one.

i have improved my chances of being convincing by taking countermeasures:

1) i really, truly, in my mind do not pay for anything but time and companionship. from time to time i deliberately book appointments in which no particular 'performance' is required and for which anything erotic is off limits. now it is true i very often "get lucky" and i do use TER to maximize "luck". but disclaimers about "compensation is for time and companionship only" and my own attitude and practices makes it possible for me to convincingly deny ever doing anything illegal.

2) communications in setting up a date should be discreet. an email or PM from a lady i've never seen should not contain anything too "welcoming". if i've repeatedly seen someone and especially if i've seen her for a non erotic, companionship only encounter a naughtier email can be fun to receive and i'll respond in kind. but in initially setting something up there i'll get spooked if there is anything that guarantees more than "time and companionshihp".

i'm not trying to persuade anyone else to do things my way. i just want to explain that so called BS disclaimers do no harm for the most part. they do considerable good in a minority of cases.