lady who frequented TER boards posted messages asking for advices about how to extract herself from falling into a hopeless love triangle with a client.
Well, actually they tripped over my wooden legs and fell when they got out of bed to go the the bathroom! And except for the trip to the hospital, I haven't seen them since - they don't call!! they don't write!! Fickle bitches!!
PS - ya'll gotta see the movie "Sordid Lives" to fully appreciate my emotional and mental anguish!
love with a client or any other man:
They would do something to sabotage the relationship, because deep inside they do not feel that they are worthy of being loved. They feel unlovable. These feelings come from the way their parent(s)related to them as children.
They are wrong about this. Their parents wronged them, and were simply incorrect - they need to realize this before they can truly believe that they are worthy of being loved. A man who loves them will not convince them - it has to do with their parents, and they need to work through it, and the man who loves them cannot help them with this - they need to do it on their own (with the help of a professional).
Why could not a number of providers simply do it because they enjoy it, and find it is a great way to make a living? Not everyone is a head case..
I think the "parent issue" is way too simplistic. My brother and I were raised in the same home, same genes, very different results.
Based on the diversity of women I see in this business, I think it's a little weak to put 1000's of women into a single grouping.
Geeeee'z Where/how did society get so screwed up??.
Logically it should be the sexually repressed, fridgid, civilian NON-providers that need professional therapy.
It's all topsy-turvey & Bass-ackwards
IOR
-- Modified on 6/1/2003 6:35:34 PM
Yes, I've heard of Providers falling for their clients.
What would I do if that happened to me? Well, I guess it would depend on all the circumstances. But it's hard for me to relate to it..
Even in my Private Life, I like to keep things within a certain boundary, an understanding. Sometimes that's REALLY hard. I'm very happy with my SO - we have one of the best relationships I've ever had, but we have an agreement on where the relationship is and where it ever will be and we both do what we can to maintain that. I've no desire to be serious right now, or to ever marry again and I made a commitment to myself not to get involved. Matter of fact, just yesterday I told my SO, that I can recall ONE day (only), last year, realizing I felt in love with him and how hard it was to 'talk myself' into putting my feelings back into 'alignment' with our agreement. I just don't let myself go there. But, that's my strangeness, I guess. I like being single and want to stay that way.
In no way, shape or form does it have anything to do with StudentofLife's idea that one feels undeserving of love, and all that garbage - I am not only loving, but loveable, and have a healthy self-esteem, yada yada - I just don't want to do the relationship thing. Been there, done that. I'm done.
If anything, I think that's one of the reasons I also LOVE being a Provider - it satisfies so many things for me and I love my clients. And, I also enjoy being LOVING to my clients - there's a lot of love to give, and hopefully, they feel that coming from me.
But, back to the question, if I felt myself falling for a client, and let's say he's married or quite involved with someone, I would probably talk about it with him and see if we couldn't work through and PAST it and still maintain our relationship. If that wasn't working, I'd have to discontinue seeing him as that's what's best.
Warm hugs,
Sedona
happens all the time, but circumstances have everthing to do with what the outcome is. There are many ladies that meet gents, find the feelings mutual and have relationships. As with every other walk of life, some workout to happily ever after and some do not. There are also ladies, such as myself, that are not looking for relationships...just fun.
I have had one instance in which I felt my feelings getting over the top. He was married and so felt the best thing to do was not to see him anymore. For myself, I am in a place in my life after two failed marriages that I just do not want a committed relationship. When the time comes and I am ready for that one on one, then I will retire, for I wouldn't feel right continuing in this hobby with a SO at home. But, that is me and everyone is different in their views and no one person is wrong or right. It is what works for that individual. There isn't any clear cut answer to the issue of falling in love for either side.
Lauren
To put it a different way...
Do you get attached enough to to a client, a regular, that you wouldn't want him to see anyone else?
I don't mean a financial attachment of a potential lost customer...An emotional attachment, but not that you have "fallen for him".
Ever been upset if contacted by another lady about a "regular"?
Do you tell the guy? Do you tell the other lady?
After you've seen someone a few times, you get closer....then when you find they start seeing another girl (or get asked for a reference to someone else in town), there's a slight pang of hurt and jealousy. But it passes quickly. I'd NEVER tell the client or other provider, however, and would never place roadblocks to their meeting.
Now this scenerio hurts a lot: when a regular has told you repeatedly you're his ATF, and then you suddenly read his posting on the message board about the new hottie in town who is now his ATF. That's a tough one! 
So, gentlemen, please don't tell a woman she's your favorite in the heat of the moment....it's like saying the "L" word too early in a civilian relationship. And if you do meet a replacement for your ATF, that's fine (happens all the time)--just don't make it too public.
