A few weeks ago I posted that my favorite AMP provider invited me to take her to the beach for the weekend. I just got back. Several people asked me to post how it went. It was "Very Interesting and a little bit disappointing." Here's the story.

she was having her period?  That description, minus the Asian part, sounds prrrrretty much like me when I am...

After reading your post my first thought was to make a joke and say "welcome to the world of marriage' but that flip comment would neither do your thoughtful and heartfelt comments justice, nor would it be fair to marriage which is not all that bad - only mine is.  

She wasn't joking lol. She was straight forward and did / asked for exactly what she wanted. She communicated the exact purpose. Just going away with you.

if so then she should have performed.  If not then you get her as she is normally unless there is a set agreement in place where you are to pay for everything and she owes you this many hours play.  However if you are not comping her for her time then really she doesn't owe you sexy time, you get her company in return for paying for everything.  Most ladies won't even do that so count yourself lucky

Thanks for the followup. Your posts have been interesting since I have a Chinese girlfriend.

You were hoping for the fantasy, but got a dose of reality.  Oh well, live and learn.  
 

he just paid expenses and had no agreement she had to provide services for the trip it sounds like.  What he got was her in normal mode.  She accompanied him places so technically she preformed as a LEGAL escort and accompanied him for the price of him paying for her food and travel(the room doesn't cost more to add her).  I think he personally got a deal.  The companionship he got while conversation lacked was worth more then the cost he absorbed I am sure since it is never fun to go somewhere alone

was such a nice post that about half way through I had to stop and remember on which site I was reading it. Very thoughtful.

she put a lot of trust in you. You must be pretty cool. It sounds like even though it was an "ok" time, you got some value out of it and got to glimpse a tiny bit into her in real life. I think an interesting follow up will be how it is between you when you see her professionally again. Please let us know!

Thank you!   I'm not sure I want to know what site you may have thought you were on, so I will simply enjoy the fantasy that it was someplace good and to say that your words mean a lot to me.

No, I was not compensating her for the trip. She didn't 'owe' me anything. I had no expectations, but several (dozen) fantasies. My fantasies are not her responsibilities and I'm really glad I had the weekend with her. It was 'an experience' and that's enough to make my day.

I've been learning Chinese for three years now and I feel like my brain goes to the gym. It's amazing how it opens your mind and your life. Find a local professional teacher. Get Pleco for your smartphone for flashcards

But who knows.  Maybe it's too early too tell how this will turn out since this was their first official date and a number of variables could have come into play. Maybe he was pressuring her for sex a bit beyond her comfort zone the first night and she got turned off? It seems he was assuming that since she's a sex worker she will have no problem putting out on civvy dates? Maybe she just thought of him as a close guy friend and sizing him up til she's ready?  

Most LTR's or let's call them "real" relationships that I have had with Asian sex workers have started off with a "no pay, but no sex" date as our first date away from "work"

I guess one of my first AMP GF's put it best when she said "friends first" she too would not let me spend a lot of money on her on our first "date" I took her shopping which normally terrifies me with any woman, much less a woman who makes her living by charging men for the pleasure of her "company". lol AAR she only let me buy her one rather modestly priced outfit, I think I barely spent a hundred bucks, but I also barely got a peck on the cheek on that first date.

It's hard to generalize about the OP's one date, but what is possible is that she is trying to feel him out to see if he is simply looking for a "freebie" or if he has "serious" interest in her. FWIW my lukewarm first date with the AMP girl I am talking about turned into a two year LTR and I never "paid" her another nickel for sex during that entire period, nor did she ever have any "emergencies" that required my financial help during that time. She was as low maintenance GF as I believe I have ever had.

At least the OP didn't wake up missing a kidney, or any of the other dire predictions that the nay sayers warned him about on his "date"

There are things like that at the beach that she probably can't get out to do in the city.

And he did pay for the vacation. Did she make it clear she wanted to be compensated?

I've been peeing a lot ever since the weekend. Do you think....
Nah, would've left a scar, right?

She was a non paid "date" just like any other civvie date, and as such it was a "sex optional" date on her part. She was under no obligation to "put out" on this date and apparently she chose not to, exactly as I warned the OP when he made his original post.

No pay doesn't necessarily mean no sex, but what it does mean is that there should be no "expectation" of guaranteed sex just because she is a hooker by trade. As I said before "sometimes a weekend at the beach is just that, a weekend at the beach" nothing more and nothing less. Nobody was scammed, nobody was ripped off, and nobody "got a deal"

You seem to be making this out to be a business deal and I completely disagree that business had a thing to do with his weekend. If she were not a hooker, no one would be jumping to all of these conclusions. It would have simply been two people going on a trip together that didn't end up with sex. Sorry kids, but those kind of dates happen all the time in the "real" world.

Absolutely.  She asked him to take her, if i recall correctly.  Dates happen.  
 

because it prevented you from having an opportunity to come to a clear understanding about the trip in advance......

Don't feel too bad. Most of the other hobbyists would have failed too, myself excluded of course.  

There was nothing "Failed" about it. The fact that I did not get sex when I hoped for it? If that's "failing" then my entire life has been one huge string of failures!  
It was what it was and I treasure the experience.

She wanted a vacation from working and she does know you well on a personal level yet? Really?

Maybe you should have come in with low expectations of sex on your first week end with a woman you only knew professionally. I'm thinking she was hoping you wanted to get to know her as a person not who she has to be in her profession. I'm sure she wanted to see if you like her for her, not for a weekend of non stop sex, which surely isn't a vacation for a SW with a guy they don't know well or at all IRL.

Quite a few SW are NOT fast and loose in their personal lives.

Steph

Steph

if you see her again, be sure to not hide the fact that you want her, but that's all, just make it clear.  

-- Modified on 7/27/2014 6:44:08 PM

are the very same assholes who throw around words like whore, slut and hooker?

Is it really that tough a concept to grasp that hookers are just women who happen to sell sex for a living? Why should a woman need to "turn it on" for an hour when she doesn't want to, just because that's what she does for work? If the same woman ran a restaurant she would be allowed to go on a date and not want to cook, why shouldn't a hooker have the right to fuck or not fuck who ever she wants or doesn't want to when she is not "on the clock"?

as long as you were satisfied then that is all that matters.  

deices the airplane dumping antifreeze on his dates head.

I have found that I get a lot of OTC time from asian providers because I have made the effort to learn a little about many different Asian cultures, not to mention having slanted eyes myself.

but just being of Asian descent is not the secret, It also helps to know something about their culture and especially their food. Most americans don't know a thing about asian food above or beyond sushi and "family dinner number one" lol Being comfortable ordering Dim Sum or Korean BBQ goes a long ways towards them feeling comfortable with you.

BTW I don't know if what the OP got could necessarily be considered "failure" it wouldn't surprise me that if he were to take her on a second "date" that she might very well "reward" him for the effort.

One other thing, OTC time doesn't always mean OTC sex. I have been seeing a Thai girl for the last couple of weeks and I alway pay for an hour session just like any other customer, but then she always makes sure I am the last appointment of the day and our one hour session turns into a 5 hour dinner date,  and for those that think I am "taking advantage" she texts me at least ten times a day so she doesn't seem to be thinking that I am taking advantage and hers is the only opinion that matters to me.

..you were going to have this amazing time on an extended trip with someone who can barely speak English (and I am assuming that you cannot speak hers?) These type of trips almost demand that you two need to be able to communicate with each other to connect on a level beyond the superficial -- which cannot happen without a command of a language both of you can understand. At most, I can imagine how awkward a situation such as this would be. Chemistry is absolutely key, but unfortunately many do not realize that it involves being able to converse.
   
Very interesting story. Thanks for sharing -- though your statement about how she should have slipped into her "work" mode to give you what you wanted for a few hours..

I would say maybe.  Personally it sounds like she thought of him as a friend IRL and thought he could be fun to hang out with.  Hanging out with a person outside the hobby holding their hand on walks doesn't necessarily constitute a date.   Sounds more like a friend thing to me but then that is in hindsight as well

and you too are projecting, not only are you projecting but you are projecting from a single experience in "dating" a client.

I know I too am projecting my personal experiences on this subject, but at least I have a rather large sample size having "dated" literally dozens of providers a very substantial number of them asian.

I am not saying that your feelings on the subject are invalid, and I fully accept that you have every bit as much right to post on the matter as anyone else, but you are basing much of your opinion on the subject on a single case of you trying to date a guy who just didn't do it for you in "that way". Just because the one guy  didn't work out doesn't mean that maybe the next guy won't, whether or not he was once a client. All I am saying is "never say never"

... is how complicated the non-hobby life is.  As the song goes, "I've been there, that's why I'm here.

traveling together to another city, staying in the same bed  and walking down the beach hand in hand is most definitely a "Date"

Just because no sex happened on this "date" doesn't make it any less of a date. Furthermore she did not "escort" him on HIS trip, she asked him to take her, You really need to reread the original thread, or redefine your meaning of the term "escort" because you are just flat out wrong here.

Sounds like you were very sweet to her and gave her a weekend she'll always remember. So I hope you can take that away from it...

Rather that was his "hope"  and that's why I haven't once made fun of him like you know I like to do with fools, IMO he was neither a failure nor a fool. He had a good time, albeit not as good as he might have liked it to be, but he is hardly the only guy who was hoping to get laid by a woman he took out, only to be a bit disappointed in the end.

Quite frankly I think he has got a great attitude about the whole thing, after all it's not like he didn't know this was a possibility going in, and if he did at first, he certainly didn't after I warned him that "no sex" on a "sex optional" date was a distinct possibility and it even happens to the great GaGambler on occasion. lmao

And finally ..... we have the obligatory shallow response. Well done sir.

and while I only singly dated a guest and it actually RUINED everything, I only saw him once more after I cut him loose and it was not like before(I would not risk a hot guest again!!).  I have had many friends(I have known for 10+yrs) that I see off the clock for lunches and such followed by sessions and while we are out the friend factor is there and the romance is not till we get behind closed doors.  Not sure why, wish I knew.  I do know that the envelope makes me hot, I get excited and very turned on by getting paid for my time.  

I go on extended dates all the time with women who barely speak English. Some of them are paid dates, others are not. If you have an open mind, it's not awkward at all. you would be amazed how much fun you can have with someone even if you don't share a common language.

BTW when I say "all the time" I mean maybe monthly I will spend a weekend with someone who is not fluent in English, and I do overnight dates, mainly paid, on average five or six times a month, at least half of which are with women who are far from fluent in English. The last time I did was actually last night. lol Some people might look at this as an impediment to having "chemistry" I find it challenging and enjoyable.

She showed up with flip flops way before she had a chance to find out if he was going to compensate her for her time or not. Flip flops going to the beach is actually not unheard of. Who wears high heels when going to the beach?

I just doubt everyone can approach it the way you can and come out successfully.  

and yes I can only offer the male perspective, but I do know what a woman in love looks like, and I have seen that look a few times from providers i have dated, and these were providers that I met as a customer first, a BF second.

For the record, I also realize the one true way to know if a woman's feelings for a guy in this business is to take the money out of the equation and I have reached and passed that threshold on many different occasions

My main point here was that NEVER seems to be a word tossed around a lot where it comes to providers and clients dating, and that has been the furthest thing from the truth in my experience. I will confess that most of the relationships that I have been in with SP's have been more of the "friends with benefits" type of thing rather than true love, but I also know for a fact that I have had the "real thing" on a couple of occasions.

We also don't know if she really doesn't want anything more with the OP than friendship, or if she wants to show him her "real self" and see if his is still interested after he didn't get immediate gratification. If you didn't read his original post before going on this date, you might check my post warning him of this very outcome on their first "Non paid"  date.

Not to mention the fact that I have dated a LOT of asian women in my life, both civvie and P4P, i've dated Thai, Korean, Vietnamese, Chinese, Japanese, Indonesian, Filipino, and probably a few more that escape me at the moment. Almost all of these women spoke English as a second language and most of them spoke it rather poorly. It's nowhere near as hard as you would think once you get used to it.

I'm surprised people are actually confusing this. That's certainly Turdwellian, but he'd have had to be completely devoted to her before during and after date and avoid seeing all escorts in order for this to be 100% certain it's Turdwellian. ROFL

You took a provider away for a weekend, and couldn't even get laid. Yes, that a FAIL.

Look at my reply to the OP, idiot. What do you think he took the condoms for? To use them as water balloons?  Charlie is in a state of confusion. He was confused before he went and he is still confused now.  

He said he got tired of people running into him on the street saying, "Hey! Tell me a joke!"
He said it's like walking up to a guy who hangs drywall for a living and saying, "Hey! Hang me some drywall!"

-- Modified on 7/27/2014 4:31:31 PM

WOW! Great perspective!
I love hearing from the providers, too. Thank you.

She considered it an off the clock date, she asked him first. She also had no idea if he was going to compensate her or not.  

I tried to make it clear that I acknowledge that I could be completely wrong. But I'd bet that my take on this is much closer to reality than yours.

This is the second time I have agreed with you today. At this rate you will be as accurate as a broken clock.

He wasn't being cheap and she didn't OWE him anything. If SHE had wanted a paid date where she was expected to "put out" that's what she should have asked for. As for him, as I advised him back on his original OP, this is one of the risks you run on a "sex optional, unpaid date" just like a civvie date, the woman is under ZERO obligation to have sex.

If he had wanted a "sure thing" he could have pressed the issue on what was going to happen on this "date" instead he decided to simply "roll with it" and took his chances, For the record, that is EXACTLY what I would have done, except of course I never would have come on here asking for advice from the likes of the rather narrow minded people who seem to inhabit this board.

Since you have so much empathy for this guy that you don't even know, why don't you book a weekend with him? In the meantime, I will remain shallow on a fuck board while you try to tell yourself that you are not.

to get to spend some OTC time with one hooker IRL -   and realize that they are just a human being like everyone else,  and with that, realize how much effort they put into creating the fantasy for the client....   get some idea of what goes into it, and the mindset she has to work with....   realism is liberating....

Sometimes too much truth is not worth it for some guys. There are others that do get it like yourself and Gag and a few others. But tell it too much like it is and the shit starts to hit the fan and a whole lot of dumping on who dares speak the truth ensues.  

She did not get any money to fuck. Therefore that explains the lack of sex. And since she was not being paid, it was an OTC scene, why should she get all dolled up? No reason to be "on" at all.  

To the lack of affection and sex and that she was not all dressed up sexy like. So it clearly did bother you that you wanted "lots of sex" but got none and that she did not look as appealing as she does when you pay her to be with you.

He didn't. Like tricks don't like paying to watch a hooker eat, I will go OTC but will not engage in anything sexual or remotely suggestive. That shit is compensated for.

It is sad that some guys just don't get the real deal.

Which is why I warned the OP that this might happen.

What you will find highly ironic is the fact that on at least a couple of occasions they were very interested in "more" but wanted to test me to see if I would run away when presented with them at "their worst" I know this for a fact because I had to LTR"s with asian providers start off exactly this way and they both later confessed that it was a test to see if i was actually interested in them, or simply looking for a freebie.

Come to think of it, I had a couple of civvie chicks, both asian now that I think of it, that also did the very same thing to me. So maybe it's just an asian thing. lol

has to be at least as old as the profession.  

Just saying...

If I am getting PAID. Providing is what we do, not who we are 24/7. Only an idiot would believe that we are "on" 24/7.

I've been "tested" by white and black girls. So its not just Asians.

I'm not sure this thread is still being read, but one last comment comes to mind.  
There has been a lot of stuff here about me expecting sex just because she's a provider. I'll plead a "not guilty" to that one.  
I wasn't expecting sex just because she's a provider, I was expecting sex just because she's a woman who wanted to go away with me for a weekend and share a bed.
The fact that we slept together several times, professionally, and that I was paying for everything supported the likelihood that there would be sex. Bottom line is that for any woman who goes away with me for a weekend, unless discussed otherwise beforehand, sex is always "on the table."

I totally disagree.  he brought 6 condoms.  he wanted sex.  he lost his nerve and came back empty and unhappy.  his intent was not to walk on the beach and feed her lobster.  plus I don't buy the statement that the girl went from a beauty to a frum.  at the very least he could have seen her naked when the went to bed.  her boobs and ass didn't shrink I hope.

I agree 100  percent.  who is he kidding.  he's looking for sympathy.  none here.  all these questions re payment, sex etc. should have been taken care of before they went out. if you have a fantasy and you actually have the girl, you blew it big time. tell me he slept next to her and he never touched her.  tell me he never saw her naked.  this is stuff you learn in high school    tell me he's happy going home with a big boner