In 1932 when I was born my parents were so poor.

they couldn't afford to have me circumcised. Fortunately, despite all the happy self-abuse over the years, my penis is still semi-functional. It still cums with the appropriate attention by my providers.

You don't need to read the Kinsey Report to know that it doesn't work!  

But now I wonder: Did Kinsey find a correlation between circumcision and toe curlers