.. you may need to re-think your involvement.
If she's good, you'll never know the difference. If you're smart, you'll play the fantasy and ignore the issue of sincerity and enjoy the lovely things that work hard to give you your money's worth.
You won't get much B.S. as long as you don't demand sincerity.
Alan
I have learned that lesson a few times over the years, and its never fun
just as truthful you are with her - at first. After a few sessions, that MAY change but always bear in mind that this IS a business for the ladies, a hobby for you.
that you should just be yourself. If you find that you are in love at first sight then you are setting yourself up for a big letdown. Whether she is sincere should be none of your concern if YOU find value in the situation and if you are trying to build rapport, that will cost you a few more dead presidents.
I guess the question is...how do you know if she is being truthful with you or not? For example, if she says you're handsome or something, do you believe it, or do you think that is part of the service? I guess, to my way of thinking, in any other walk of life, can't you kind of tell, generally speaking, when people are being truthful with you? Also you have to factor in with this type of closeness, it would be that much more difficult to "fake" sincerity. Is any woman that skilled? Maybe, but I bet they are few. However, I have run into my share of dubious dates, esp. if you give a compliment. I think some people may just have a hard time accepting a compliment.
How many women get sucked into believing the lies, promises, sweet talk, and "I love yous" some guys dish out, only to learn that it was just a ruse to get free sex?
It amazes me that so many ladies tell me that I'm "a breath of fresh air" when talking to them.
Now, I'm nothing special, but, I am honest and upfront with them and, believe me, they know when someone is selling them a line.
So how do you know if they are being honest with you?
You don't.
But if you are honest, upfront, and don't try to bullshit them, it sure makes them feel alot better about being more open with you.
If you think they are going to be fooled by a line, you're wrong.
They have seen and heard it all and can read us like a book.
Respect, honesty, treating her like a lady, and being a gentleman goes a very long way.
Just my opinion...
B
It works both ways. So many times I have fallen for the "you're the only one I see" from clients. Now, 99 % of the time in my experience it turns out to be a lie. But the thing is I don't care. I know I am not the only one they see & vice-versa. So why say it?
Someone once explained to me about 'conditional responses'. I have to agree.
Sometimes people say certain things that mabey they think will get them a better date. And the conditional responses has to do with things guys say alot of times to women they are dating in their personal lives. Sometimes they get caught up in the moment with us.
If a guy is really cute I tell him so. I guess I am lucky I meet alot of cute guys. They always think I am trying to stroke their ego, lol when I say that.
I have been BS'ed so many times on dates and now I know better, finally! But I don't always feel that is happening on all dates.
Keep your expectations low when people say things to you, in life in general. I am trying to learn this myself as well.
Sara
If I am with a gal in a session, I cannot tell her i am good looking, have a big dick and can last for hours, so what else is there for a guy to lie about ????
Thank You
sometimes stricken with problematic medical maladies are in fact; babe magnets.
Trust me; you are the God they proclaim you as.
Let's face it.
You book me because you want wild sex and an ego booster.
So, I provide both - I will drain you and lift your morale saying exactly what you want to hear from me.
Men LOVE to hear a woman saying how good he is --- even if he doesn't believe it --- definitely makes his ego & dick "inflate" in a positive way during a session.
And no, I didn't learn this from providing --- I learned from my mom!
BDG
-- Modified on 9/10/2006 8:14:44 AM
Like I really want my sexy, young provider to be honest with me. It would go something like this:
'Oh, B2S, you're just so incredibly ... old and you look like you're in your second trimester. Oh, you want me to talk dirty to you.. OK... Get off me you fat bastard! No more mish for you until you lose an Oprah or two'
No, don't be honest, just tell me the truth. That I'm 'a breath of fresh air' (translation, at least the fat, bald bastard used mouthwash this time).
Exactly, BDG!
As the saying goes: "Flattery is the imitated form of sincerity."
What do you say - you and I go someplace private and work on my morale. I can tell that you and I are special to each other... in 60 minute increments.
I shall love you; faithfully and forever,
Alan
How do I find you and your mom?
Wow BDG I think I love you lol
This thread or a version of it pops up frequently. IMHO its all about illusion and fantasy. Thats a 2 way street. Who cares of the level of sincerity as long as the fantasy of falling in love and being desireable is acheived.
Don't dupe yourself into confusing lust and love
I want ladies to lie to me and be insincere, for example Oh baby you're sooo goood you're soo gourgeous you're soo hot! you're a great lover
you're soo big!
In that last paragraph what do you think is true?
I'll take the illusion lol
Nobody asked
If you're honest with a provider, and she seems to be honest with you in response...and, after a few appointments, you seem to be developing a real relationship of friendship: you do indeed need some common-sense tests of her sincerity.
Here are some that now occur to me:
How much is she telling you about her real life? Has she told you her real name and address?
Will she let you take her to breakfast, lunch or dinner, without charging you for the time?
Does she ever call or e-mail you first?
In other words, is she exhibiting any signs of real friendship? If not, then try to imagine and reallize that you're just participating in a stage play, with you as one the actors. You can enjoy the performance, but don't take it for real.
I suspect there are no absolute rules here. Some providers are never sincere. Others might be some of the time, if not others.
A good provider who does not want to get involved, upon facing any unwanted personal overtures, will say somelike like, "I'm sorry, I can only give you my stage name, sweetie. But I'll love you whenever you make an appointment. My personal life and feelings have to stay private and separate. But let's enjoy our paid time together now."
Or she could indicate, "Ours is primarily a professional relationship. But I am getting to like you, and yes, I'd would enjoy lunch with you beforehand sometime. But I don't want any further involvement than that."
When discouraged by an escort after a personal overture, it may be useful to remember: one of the first things young doctors have to learn is that must *not* get too upset every time they see their patients die. They can't do their job well if they get too emotionally involved. The same is true, in general, for escorts. So try not to take their usually-necessary professional detachment too personally.
But escorts get lonely and sometimes need some unpaid friendship, too. So, it's never black and white.
You always need to use your best judgement...admittedly hard to due when passion can be involved. There is simply no easy or always-applicable answer to your question.
Hope my 2 cents are helpful.
What you describe is crossing professional boundaries, not sincerity.
Sincerity is about *meaning* what you say, and that doesn't mean that you have to take that someplace more then just those moments you are spending with someone.
There are many clients that I *truly* enjoy their company on a variety of levels...but that doesn't mean I have to tell them my real name or in depth details of my personal life to prove it.
I can be *in the moment* and still be a professional...
Megan
Megan, Thanks for responding. Actually, I agree with everything you're saying. Sincerity does *not* include any requirement to cross professional boundaries.
If you reread my post, you'll see I gave an example of this:
A good provider who does not want to get involved, upon facing any unwanted personal overtures, will say somelike like, "I'm sorry, I can only give you my stage name, sweetie. But I'll love you whenever you make an appointment. My personal life and feelings have to stay private and separate. But let's enjoy our paid time together now."
There could be many other examples, such as the ones you're giving.
I'm sure that when you say just what you mean, your clients have a way of sensing that you mean it, and that will insure to your benefit.
Best wishes, Megan.
That wasn't what I was getting in the overall tone of your post I guess...
The example you make actually came across as what I *thought* you were trying to say was an example of someone that was *insincere*. I guess I must have misread it...it just comes across as mechanical...especially the "sweetie" thing.
Have a great day!
xoM
"communication" and everyone should be grown up enough to be involved in it.
Do not ever expect an escort to become emotionally attached to you. Also, do not think to yourself and ask, "Wow, if I were single we could hook up." Don't assume anything. This is a business for us. Sure, we make friends with some people and it could be a lasting friendship, but some of us are too busy to do this with everybody we meet, nor do we have the time to socialize a lot without some form of compensation. Remember this is a business. If we wanted to meet someone and fall in love, I seriously doubt we'd look for it with a hobbyist (not that it doesn't happen). Why would we want to meet someone, have them pay us for our time and then think that our relationship will be monogamous? That's just not realistic. I'm not saying it couldn't happen but very doubtful. I have made friends with a few men that I will probably continue to converse with after I retire from this business, albeit slightly less than usual.
For some providers it's personal and can be very fun. For others, it's only for the sex. And others: to pay the bills.
If you're in doubt about a relationship or friendship with a provider just ask but never, ever assume. If you're looking for a real connection without the donation, get a girlfriend. Just my .02 cents.
Hugs,
Ciara
-- Modified on 9/10/2006 4:09:53 PM
"is what you said, what I heard." So many times in business, what I say, is taken out of context and therefore, is not what I intended as a statement.
This can be especially true where emotions are concerned. Ciara is correct in stating that this is a business, but it is difficult to separate the emotional spin on things (both for providers and hobbiests) from the business spin on things.
And I agree, friendships are possible, much as with any service provider (dentist, doctor, lawyer, gardiner, etc.), but how they play out depends on the maturity and the integrity of the two people involved. If one is immature with respect to the emotions - then one runs a higher risk of misinterpreting intents of even simple sentences... !! Me? I do it all the time (in and out of the hobby)! But that is ok, as I am aware of it, and check myself!
I look at it this way, it is difficult in today's society to make ANY relationship work... and sincerity and honesty are not exactly hallmarks of the current societal mix... why would the small provider hobbiest social subgroup be any different? In short, we lie, to enhance the experience, to make it better or whatever.
I disagree with the lieing part. Why do men or women feel they have to lie to each other, even in this business? The only time I would do that is if a client actually asked me to say, "Tell me I'm great," etc. I always try to find something nice about my clients, whether it's their clothes, their appearance, their personality. If I compliment them, you can bet it's the truth!
Now, come here Precious and give me that beautiful, big d--k and kiss me with those sexy lips and "Oh baby, baby, Oh that's right. Right there, that's it." Wink!
Hugs,
Ciara
willing to bet cha, that sometimes people 'interpret' things that you say! in or out of the biz.... just the nature of people...
but with respect to providers lying or hobbiests lying... I think that they do... not all! but some do... not meaning (for the most part) to harm... but they just do! sad, but true... Me, pretty much what ya see is what ya get!
There ain't much else... lol!
Interesting. You said in your response to me, "In short, we lie, to enhance the experience, to make it better or whatever." Then you rebuttaled my response about lieing by saying, "sometimes people 'interpret' things that you say!" I think it would be pretty hard to misinterpret anything I say. I'm pretty forward. If someone does, then they're just looking for something that's a fantasy and they are only hearing what they want to hear. It's misinterpretation on their part not mine. If they're confused, then they need to ask. That was the whole point of my post: "communication."
I wonder who has lied to me when they've told me I'm pretty, good in bed, that was the greatest experience, you could have been my girlfriend, etc? I don't think I've ever told a lie like that, nor would I lead someone on like that. I pretty much tell it as it is. I may be polite but firm in my response so no one gets the wrong idea. If it's misinterpreted then the person on the receiving end would pretty much have to be a numbskull. I'm very blunt and honest. ;0
However, when I told you that you were cute I meant it. You are -- love those dimples.
Hugs,
Ciara
-- Modified on 9/10/2006 10:03:29 PM
Sorry I'm late but because it was you, I wanted to look extra-special and put on something really naughty.
How's my favorite guy? Of course I remember you...uh...that is...I mean...What's your name again?
Of course you're good looking. No, really.
You are just my type. I like older guys.
I think you're cute...Well, I like a little meat on a guy.
No, you're not old and fat.
Bald? I didn't even notice.
They just give your face character.
Wow, you have a nice one.
Oooh, it's big and fat.
That's just the right size.
Ummm, it tastes yummy.
Oh my god, where did you learn that!
Damn, you really know how to use that thing.
Doggie is my favorite too.
That was amazing. I almost never come.
That was amazing. I can't remember the last time I came so many times.
Stop, stop, I can't take any more.
You're sure? Because I'd really like to go again with you.
Oh, you should have told me. I only brought the one condom.
I said I'd do that before I knew how big you are.
It really turns me on to see you shoot all over my tits. Wouldn't you rather do that than come in my mouth?
I have never done that in my life, not even with a boy friend. Oh, we did it last time? Really? Well, OK then. You're the only one...
***Chime in guys, there are thousands of them. What's your favorite?
Who cares??? I am not there to talk.
. . . in my experience escorts are more sincere than civvies.
Just about all the escorts I met the first time told me how marvelous I am; very few civvie strangers do that.
Seriously, the reason I believe that the opinions from an escort are sincere is that not all of them are compliments. A civvie stranger seldom tell you how she truly feels about you.
-- Modified on 9/10/2006 8:29:08 PM
