After some time in the hobby, and after repeats with several providers, most of whom claim to offer the "gfe" it has occurred to me that the true gfe is earned not purchased. By this  I mean that a true gfe is really a raport that is formed between provider and hobbyiest after multiple visits. Having a lady who knows my desires and my needs is a far superior experience , for me atleast, than a one time session with a provider, ( even if she does her best to accomidate me), when I know I won't be repeating. In summery, my definition of the true gfe is less a triumph of mechanical technique than a bonding of personalities. Icould be wrong- hell, I often am...

Sometimes you can get it out of the gate; a total fantasy come true. If a lady advertises and lives up to it then her goal is to get you to repeat. The smart ones that realize this is, know that it is not about who they are but what they do. Sometimes you can fake chemistry. You'll either have it with a lady or not. By the same token it shouldn't mean you won't return, but at least you know her limits and boundaries.

and expecting it with each and every provider you see will leave you lacking so much. You are so right about searching out a special lady and spending more time and energy to dig deeper than just an orgasm or two.

No gentleman calls an escort looking for love. He's looking for an escape from reality for a short time and then back to his living, breathing complicated life. Even the single gentlemen you see are looking for convenience not a relationship.

I open myself to those I see, some are interested in being close and others just in the physical aspects of our time. I live by do no harm..I am there to comfort and give enjoyment.
It is hard to offer intimacy and yet not carry it too far. To care about someone but not lead them astray. The intimate part, when you peel back any pretence and open your emotions, is something that can be very problematic for some but for those who experience such arrangements it is far more satisfying.

Many new gentlemen to the hobby have never felt this before and can be quite confused by their emotions. They are searching for answers and relief from a less than perfect marriage.For those more experienced in these tryst you have just hit your 10.

Kisses Haley  

Indeed GFE is much more than a menu...  While we recognize this is an illusion, for the time we are together my Favorites are my GFs.  GFE is not a selection off a menu.  It's the attitude which creates Experience & indeed it gets stronger with each meeting.
skb

This makes alot of sense and I like how
you express the GFE. So true...You are not wrong you are right. There has to be a connection
on both ends to define GFE. Which is why I
am selective and never in a rush to become
a high volume girl.

Angela

I booked 4 hours. I got there she was very pleasant, not seemingly nervous and in general was very accomodating.

Me on the other hand....I was not with it. Lotsa crap piled up previously in the day and my mind was everywhere. So after an awkward (me not focused) not completely comfy bit of the action I said, "let's go out....".

We had a great time, she even insisted on picking up the tab. We yacked about everything. It's really nice to have an outside baseline to reference to...

Every time since then has become significantly more incredible. I have a lovely Mistress and their is a genuine two way street of  respect, friendship, and affection.

Nevertheless if you want it like this you need to be able to budget accordingly. You can't do it with 1 hour pop-n-stops. I'd rather jerk off then that.

Chemistry takes two. Don't get hung up on the $$$'s, they're just discrete packages of resources. No matter what all relationships are built with that in mind.

Someday....a Harem.

The woman you meet in a bar for a one night stand is not your girlfriend.  No where do I see men lusting after the the ONSE (one night stand experience).

It's the girlfriend experience they want. However, a girlfriend has built emotional comfort, physical familiarity, and with those two, a chemistry unique to the two of you blossoms.

It's only logical that a GFE experience is earned with familiarity, trust and kindness.  

I couldn't agree more. If one is fortunate, you can click and develop chemistry with someone very quickly, but the most satisfying experiences for me, are the ones with my ATF's who I continue to see over long periods of time. (Almost 7 years with my #1)

If I'm really in need of a hot n nasty blow n go, that's when I go looking for strange or have the pornlet flavor of the month delivered to my door.

Really? You can't get a nasty blow'n go from your ATF?

I have to say one of my favorite things about my ATF gent is that we can do both - have short carnal raunchy, or we can have long, romantic and intoxicating depending on the mood.

But, I LIKE the ONSE ---------------> '.....

I am for the most part a zipless fuck kinda guy - once n done is lots o fun....

It takes a rare lady who bring me back. To "keep" me - even more rare.

Hey - I can do PSE or BFE with my ONSE - I'm flexible...

But I will admit that if I could, I would have traded all of the ONSEs in the world for more time knowing (in vernacular, epistemelogical, transactional and "Biblical" senses of the word lol)  my very very few favorite ladies....

Again, I absolutely agree. But our schedules don't always mesh
I can't plan my spontaneous lust around her touring schedule - LOL

She's always my first call though.

I for one, love the ONSE, and I love one night stands that happen in the civvie world as well.

One night stands are the ultimate in NSA sex. You meet a girl, you immediately have the hots for each other, you spend the entire night fullfilling your lust, and then you go about your seperate lives. What's not to love?

Of course many of the lame'os and Manginas here that have never been laid in the civvie world will probably disagree, but when have I ever cared about what "they" think? lamo

Civvie one night stands are the closest thing to hobbie sex, minus the envelope. The thing even better about one night stands is that there is no faking it on either side, there is no reason for either party to be less than honest with the other, just pure animal sex. I love it.

I'm not saying ONSE isn't a blast, in the Civ world and in Demiland.

I'm just saying that ONSE and GFE are not the same thing, and to expect a real gfe on a one off is unfair to the woman.  I mean you can list all the acts you want, but the spirit behind them isn't going to be there the same way they will be after several get togethers, unless of course, you can buy into an inauthentic act.  Some women are awesome performers.

opportunities out there.....  Nothing better than two or three ONSEs in a evening's carousing on town.

Prob is this is usually accompanied by alchohol

and therefore

the opportunity for a one-bagger to slip in increases...

(no - I don't do "two baggers" LOL

Trust me on this - there are plenty of providers who will give it all up on the "first date" - with gusto.

Whether emotions are involved, I don't really care.

If anything my experience has been that performance tends to *decline* with familiarity.....

Thus I don't "LTR" for the most part

with RARE and delightful exceptions....

MY Idea of GFE includes CIM and Greek - at least that has always been a requirement to cohabit with moi....

If I get drunk enough to want to do a "two bagger" I would have to be so far "in the bag" meself, as to be incapable of following through physically. lmao

As to one-baggers, as long as you are having fun, even one-baggers need a little lovin every once in a while. rofl

provider or otherwise unless you truly are an item.It doesn't matter if you see a provider once or a hundred times, it's still an "inauthentic act", The only way it would be authentic would be to remove the envelope from the equation.

Yes, some women are awesome performers, and those are the ones I seek out.

after reading the posts from many of the members here, that the only mercy fucking they have ever experienced was on the receiving end. lmao

Honestly, how many guys on TER seem capable of getting laid in the civvie world?  Sometimes I am really embarrassed for some of the guys here.

It doesn't bother me a bit to pay a lady for sex, but it would suck if that were the "only" way I could ever get laid. Oh well, better them than us. lol

...but I consider the Girlfriend Experience to be exact opposite. It's the willingness of a lady to gently whisper 'okay' to any request you make.
You make your requests known, and either she's willing to accommodate or not.

This is where YMMV may come in. You can mention to a lady that you like Greek. IF your dick is as wide as the Mississippi, she may chicken out because she fears not being able to hold her bowels after you're done. It may not be because she doesn't like Greek. But on the reverse, if she's a trooper, she may give you the ride of your life.

You guys have any idea at all how pathetic you sound?

If you are both all that and a bag of chips and dip on the side, WTF you doing hanging around with all us less fortunate? No wait, I know, to massage your overinflated egos in for all to see.

Go out and buy yourselves a blow job tonight and get over yourselves. Watch out for those skanky LE decoys though on the street. lmfao

It was nice of you to respond, on cue. rofl

You are right however, it doesn't take much to feel superior to little pissants like you. Damn, I feel better about myself already. Thank you, little alias coward.

Did I get under your skin a little GooGambler? You even called in BadTimingMan for back-up again. Very impressive.

I'll skip the name calling pal. I have learned many years ago that arguing with a narcissist is akin to pissing against the wind. I had my say. Gotta run now. Toodles.

and I can't tell you how often I get asked this question:

"okay - so tell me - why do you do this? I mean, you don't *need* to".....

to which i say -

"it's just our lucky day today, isn't it?"

I just love a hint and run with some strange especially a PYT. Hell I've seen 13 of em this year so far and that represents a small portion of my "overall fucking" LOL

The really great days were in Panama during and after "Just Cause". My wingman and I ordered em up four at a time two or three nights a week for a couple of years.....  Good Sport - that!

GFE has been too strongly defined as a menu of services in the industry.

Even that you can't count on LOL - read the reviews!

what you are talking about I call a lady who enjoys working with (at least some of) her clients.

I have been greatly blessed too meet quite a few such ladies.

I would not "cheapen" what they "do" by calling it GFE....

Where the hell is admin on this one???  

I get down there every couple of months, the last time about two weeks ago. They are starting to get a case of xenophobia themselves of late, especially where it comes to Colombiannas.

Most of the better hotels like the Veneto and the Marriot are forbidding the Colombiannas from working on the premises or in many cases completley refusing them entry. You can still go to the Havana bar across from the Marriot and find them by the dozen, but if you are staying at any of the nice hotels, you might not be able to get them into your room.

I have pretty much conceded that if I want to fuck hot Colombiannas, I am going to have to go to the source. lol

in a childish manner. As far as I'm concerned he can have at it - he only makes himself look pathetic. You would never catch me whining to admin about being "attacked by an alias" LOL...

as if I give a good goddamn fuck about anybodies opinion here anyway LOL

It was even weaker than AE's attempt at attacking me yesterday, and that was weak. lol

I have people attacking me from behind an alias on almost a daily basis. Insults, especially weak ones, posted from behind the safety of an alias, barely merit a response much less  my crying to Mommy Admin. lmfao

If they aren't offended, there is no offense.

Is to propose marriage. That'll get the chemistry boiling pretty quick!

-- Modified on 3/22/2010 5:27:46 PM

Exactly.

A true GFE occurs when the people involved really do care about each other. That doesn't mean they're in 'love', but it's pretty hard to actually care much about someone you only see once or twice.

I love finding those women who are willing and able to make the investment necessary to provide a 'real' GFE. It requires an ability to manage one's emotional life and that can be tricky but can also be extremely rewarding.

Of course, the enjoyment of the GFE doesn't preclude the enjoyment of the ONSE.



-- Modified on 3/22/2010 6:45:06 PM

GFE is bandied about so much these days. You can't even count on gfe services from ladies who call themselves gfe

What you are talking about is something different altogether - something independent of the services offered

you are talking about a lady who really genuinely likes what she does, is open to liking and enjoying clients and forming relationships (yes compensated but relationships nonetheless)

Such ladies are rare and precious in the grand scheme of things.

What they do - who they *are* - should not be called GFE. GFE is a dime a dozen and they are not.

To label them, to call them *anything* would be to cheapen the experience....

Envelope or no, this is a very human realm. And it isn't just hobbyists who can "fall and not get up."

I have run across a couple of such women. There really are no words to describe them within the realm of the hobby.

Yeah, I'm unfairly generalizing.  The error is mine.

However I would disagree that it's always inauthentic.  I'm quite fond of the people I see, there's nothing inauthentic about it, I actually feel safe, am pleasured, know them well and and genuinely enjoy bringing them the happiness they want.

Where are the best places to hobby in Colombia? Thanks for any help you can provide.

... because some of us are at least slightly concerned about the affects of our actions on others.

Lemme tell ya somethin' bro.

Walk a mile in my shoes you'll have a whole different perspective on things.

Bogota is the Capital and largest city,(almost the size of NYC) and very temperate, almost cool as it is at about 9,000' in elavation.

Medellin is the home of the most beautiful women in the country (or any other country for that matter)., but doesn't have quite as much nightlife as Bogota.

Cartagena is great if you like the beach, but it has "Miami in the summertime" type weather all year long.

The hobby is legal, just remember to stay in the good parts of any town you visit. Colombia is much safer than it used to be, but you can still get yourself killed by being careless. lol

Now what the fuck am I supposed to say??? lmao


I agree that genuine feelings do develop between providers and hobbyist. I have personally had a few LTR's with women that I met originally in a P4P situation. They did not become GFE's, they became actual girlfriends without the hint of an envelope.

IOW, it happens, but it's rare. Just like people admitting they made a mistake on TER, you are proof it happens, but it is a rarity.

Crossing the line from GFE to GF is complicated.

I'm polyamorous, and as much a I may adore guy X. I also adore guy Y.  

I've tried having two boyfriends at once, and it's just plain exhausting.  You end up giving up a lot of your time, with no time for yourself, and they get jealous, even when they knew the deal from day one.  And it's hard to figure out how much time to spend with whom and be fair to yourself and them.

Plus, even though my feelings are authentic, like a housewife, if you dedicate ALL your time to your family and nothing else, then someone has to support you.

So when you want to dedicate your life to your lovers... well, a woman can't live on air. I would like to do this full time, but then I'd have to see people I'm not crazy about just to make ends meet. So I have a career to give me options, but this is basically where my heart is at.

I don't think the envelope makes me insincere.  

Why so shocking? I mean, I have my perspective which naturally I lean heavily. But with some good logic laid out, I can see that it certainly doesn't apply to every woman.

How can we ever know truth if we do not accept challenged to our beliefs with an open mind?

And I'm not saying I'm write, just a thought:

To call a series of acts GFE cheapens the hell out of the word "girlfriend", regardless of context.

after all, the services exclude:

nagging
bitching
honey do lists
witholding sex while pouting
no blojob after you're cohabiting

and many other wonders...

Nothing in the world like a "relationship" to ruin great sex LOL....

I am somewhat familiar with these cities but haven't hobbied there. Perhaps when I have VIP status here, we can commmunicate.

Los paisas de Medellin...God help me !!!

Thanks for the response and info.