Naw, I think I'm just a tiny bit obsessive and

slightly paranoid. The paranoia is strictly work-related, though. Besides, it isn't paranoia if they really are out to get you, is it?  {grin}

IMHO... these "antisocial personality disorder" guys are who inflict the majority of the damage on our beloved providers, bringing the whole experience down for the rest of us. The hobby attracts this type, but please, ladies, most of us aren't.
The few that are do disproportionate damage....................................



"Guggenbuhl-Craig: The Psychopath is much more successful than you and I because he is not hemmed in by all sorts of impediments or worries.

Hillman: But we fail to recognise it…. So it would perhaps be more useful in our lives if we could spot one when we see one?

Guggenbuhl-Craig: Yes and you can maybe spot one if you know what a psychopath is, if you know that all of a sudden the other man or the other woman is marvelously tuned into you. He's just your kind of guy and he's just what you expect…. Then you can become very suspicious.

Psychopaths Are Expert Con Men

The above excerpt is a good examples of the personality profile of the abuser and/or psychopath, and the way we often lie to ourselves when we get into a relationship with a person who seems "too good to be true." When entering romantic relationships with people who make us question "can this really be happening to me?", most often than not the faerie tale ends in complete disillusion because one is dealing with what Dr. Robert Hare calls "love thieves." Quite simply, these men (or women), are con artists, or psychopaths. Not only are they emotionally abusive, but some can be physically dangerous. I personally know of a young lady who married a psychopath from the internet who attempted to strangle her to death.

In most cases, if we had only listened to our instincts or recognised a few red flags, we could have walked away from such abusive, controlling individuals. Of course, I am not denigrating anyone who has been conned, because even the experts, Dr. Hare included, have been taken in by such people. I have also been taken in several times, and even once or twice by what I refer to as the "religious" variety.

One of these instincts I mentioned is often referred to as The Gift of Fear, that particular intuition that can keep us safe from dangerous people. If someone is sending you mixed messages, and your instincts tell you this is the case, it's probably true.

Someone I knew who was well acqainted with psychopaths within Christianity told me, "There's an old saying I go by when dealing with a possible psychopath using the guise of religion to fool people: Beware of a man who makes your heart go 'twang.'" The classic psychopath comes across as very romantic, charming, and wants to seal the relationship as soon as possible. It happens this way almost every time. Psychopaths move fast. They are impatient, undependable, and many have an undue obsession with "not wasting any time." This should always be the first red flag in any relationship.

The following, from A Woman's Guide to Emotional Abuse sounds like it could have been written with psychopaths in mind:

"The abuse will begin subtly. Things an abuser will do in the early stages of a relationship may even seem flattering, but they are red flags. Anytime a man seems too good to be true he probably is. It may seem flattering to suddenly get a whole lot of attention from someone, but he may be pouring on the attention because he has a deep need to get you hooked as quickly as possible.

Abusers usually suffer from intense feelings of inadequacy and insecurity, and this causes them to move in on women quickly and forcefully. People with serious insecurities are fearful of losing control of their environment. Abusers are fearful, insecure men and they need to control you to feel safe."

However, just because a man is fearful of not being in control, does not mean he is loving. Many partners of psychopaths often mistake the psychopath's ability to behave lovingly as proof that he or she is a loving person. But this is not the case. Psychopaths are not capable of love or true affection. My interpretation of this is that the fear is actually a deep-seated anxiety about losing power and control.

Sally Caldwell, a sociologist at Southwest Texas State University and author of “Romantic Deception: The Six Signs He’s Lying" (says):

“We’re also taught to be polite, so we’re afraid to challenge someone’s words for fear of appearing rude. And we need those tendencies for society to function, or else we’d be a nation of paranoid people. But slow down and take a lot of time before granting your complete trust to a potential partner. Romantic liars try to speed the pace of a relationship so that it becomes intense very quickly.”

“People who con others are generally psychopaths,” says Brent Turvey, forensic scientist and criminal profiler at the Academy of Behavioral Profiling in Sitka, Alaska, and author of the just released second edition of “Criminal Profiling: An Introduction to Behavioral Evidence Analysis.” Turvey adds: “Con artists look for people who have low self-esteem and exploit that. They are parasitic and live off of others’ goodwill. . .Con artists and other psychopaths spend a lot of time talking about themselves in a self-aggrandizing fashion — bragging about their larger-than-life accomplishments and grand schemes, which are often completely fabricated,” Turvey notes. “Also, watch out for people who constantly need to borrow money — they always have a sob story, or they’ve ‘forgotten their wallets.’

So, besides these personality characteristics, can these people be identified? Dr. Hare, among others, have written about this "psychopathic" stare, for one. It has also been written that psychopaths often use a lot of "stage props," that is colourful, animated body language. They are often the most charismatic, utterly bewitching people you will ever meet, although from my experience, and there are some professionals who agree with me here, not all psychopaths are that animated. Some, in fact, have very "flat" unemotional voices and unexpressive cold features and eyes, what is referred to as a flat emotional affect.

Psychopaths primarily work their way by lying. Being lied to, deceived, and used by a psychopath is one of the worst experiences one can experience, especially if you have fallen in love with the individual. I know several people, close friends, who have met and married such people from the internet, others have only met and fallen in love with them, only to be later discarded. Most of these victims (or targets) soon find out that a relationship with a psychopath is impossible. The psychopath lets his true personality come out after he tires of you or has no more need of you or feels the need to show you he is just playing a game. This is always the first realisation that you’ve been dealing with a psychopath.

Most victims become discarded when he or she no longer serves the whims of the psychopath. You may believe more psychopaths to be stalkers, but this really isn't the case. Since psychopaths have no emotional attachments to anyone, being in contact with an ex has no signifance for them."

she's kinda cute, but you really went there for therapy?  Do you throw caution to the wind or seek another therapist?