has made you a better lover?

Let's say my real world is a sexless place. The very reason for inhabiting this fantasy world. How would I know if I've become a better lover? You tell me I'm a great lover, a ten in bed if you will. You give me little great lover nicknames. You cum three or four times during our sessions. You tell me I'm handsome, intelligent, humorous, and charming. Yet, with all of that, the real world doesn't let me test the truth of what you're telling me.  

is that I enjoy sex a lot more both in frequency and variety.

The reason I started seeing providers was a nearly total absence of intimacy in my SO relationship (not just sex, but kissing and cuddling also), which was a 30-year monogamous relationship. Needless to say I was very rusty when I started. I've been fortunate to find providers who are kind, patient, enthusiastic coaches and give me honest feedback along with helpful advice. They have also guided me to worlds I could only dream of before.  I've also met providers who lay it on pretty thick with how great a lover I am, have 10 Os in an hour    etc. That strokes the male ego for awhile, but I much prefer genuine words and reactions; those have helped me improve greatly as a lover.  

your friend, not that anybody tells me how great I am.  For one, most ladies are very polite and they don't want to hurt our feelings.  The other thing is that every woman is different and what one may think is great another will say "meh!"   Just think of your own experience simply in kissing, there is no one way to do it, if you think about it, every guy has his own take on it, just like the ladies do.   What I suppose we all try to do is mirror each other a bit to find about what the other likes, but quite honestly, I don't mind when a lady gives a bit of verbal instruction.

I hobby with a few regular providers that I either found sexual chemistry with or the illusion of it.
I've had a few experiences with a few that were highly reviewed that it just wasn't there and wasn't great. I don't think it's as simple as saying someone is a good lover or not. If you don't have some sort of attraction, no amount of acting will do it.
With my 4 regulars, the sex seems to be getting better and better as I (we) explore and practice what we like. It is a learning experience. I don't think that they are acting better and better. But who knows? I'm having a blast

I can't say with absolute certainty that my "technique" is any better than it would be without the hobby, but I do know that getting laid almost everyday certainly "demystifies" sex and makes me much more confident, takes away all nervousness, and allows me to relax and enjoy myself without even a hint of "performance anxiety"

I can't speak for all women, but most women I know say that "confidence is sexy", so just by that yardstick, I am sure I am better in bed than if I were only getting laid on rare occasions. Plus I can last as long as I want to, my days of being a "two pump chump" are well in my rearview mirror.

Of course, there is a fine line between ego and confidence and I can honestly say that there are two activities that I partake in where I check my ego at the door, this one and golf.   The issue of technique, if you want to put that way, is really subjective which is why I can't say that I am any better.  But yeah, if I could go back and visit that kid in his teens and 20s, I would give him a good talking, he would have enjoyed all of this so much better, because the apprehension was a killer.    

All that honestly matters babe!

you have been able to have relations with good providers who are willing to be patient & guide!

what you mean & that is a honest way to it!

you are definitely on the right track!  

Confidence is a major key!

This question really got me thinking........

Or, do you....

1) I would rate myself around 6-7.  I've never had a provider tell me "how great I am", but several are very good at the right sound effects.  I am not fooled...LOL, but do appreciate the effort.  It really does get me going. I am pretty adventurous and am up for anything other than pain.  If a provider offered to show me something "new" and it was something that really got her off, then I am all for it.

I agree, but like aging athletes, we need to play smarter.  Some things are tough, but staying in shape, doing cardio to help your stamina, and lifting weights for strength will help.  Go into a session hydrated and not intoxicated, vary oral with more energetic doggy, etc.  Plus, quality becomes more important than quantity.

As I age my overall stamina might not be quite what it used to be, but my sexual stamina is much BETTER that it was when I was young.

and for the record I still like to "get drunk and screw" and quantity is still just as important as ever. I will admit that my days of seeing four different women in a single day are probably a thing of the past, but I still like to get laid every single day, I can think of very few days in my entire life when I woke up thinking to myself "I don't think I want to have sex today" Nor do I expect many of those days in the future, or at least I hope not.

You other fuckers can get old if you want. I refuse to even grow up, much less get old. lol

going personality!

I understand what you are saying!

1. 6 now and continue to seek direction for improvement, 2 before finding hobby

I look at it like this, not my job to teach a john anything. And what works for one hooker might be the antitheses for another so all the teaching one does for her might be wasted on the next hooker he sees.

How bad was the sex for your ex wives?  

but not because any provider showed or taught me anything. The reason is simple:

I was very inexperienced, so it was hard NOT to improve, lol.
But aside from that, it has taught me a lot about women, and how to listen to them (specifically the signals they give), and what many like.  Also, it made me realize that I have a lot more game than I ever thought I did - which has completely transformed my confidence around all women and thus the way that I am recieved.  No exaggeration to say this hobby has completely changed me.  Many in my real life have noticed a difference in me too.  Life is good.

... you view yourself as a "hooker", and some providers see their jobs in a different way, thus they don't mind being a coach to clients who are open to be coached?

1) At DATY and French, better than average, based upon decades of experience with both providers and civvies.  FS is a different experience...it can be difficult to concentrate when you are are inside her...

Too bad I am no where near Las V, I would love to schedule a couple of hours and get an honest evaluation and any instruction you could give.
Most professional ladies, unless you get to know them, just want to make you feel good, so there is little opportunity for learning and improving. (Once you see a lady repeatedly and get to know her, she will be more open with how you have done.) I would always greatly appreciate pointers.
I understand that what I do may be wonderful for one lady and inadequate for another, but I still appreciate any suggestions or correction or criticism.  I have been having sex for many decades and think I generally please the non professional women I have been with.  (Unlike Providers, who are usually anxious to please, many women in the last 30 years or so --a change from the 1950s and 60s-- will let you know if they are not happy and why.) Still there is always room for improvement

Have been very good at the experience you pay for and at some point, might have fudged the truth. We are not here to be necessarily truthful and you know what I mean by that. So how would you know unless she was blatantly excessive and obvious ("you" are fat but she says you have an awesome  body)?

And I doubt that the hookers you see bother to lie like a rug with you. You seem to know the score and the reality of this, good for you.

It's only the "other guys" that they lie to when they gush about how witty, how handsome, and what a big dick he has. When they tell him this bullshit, they are telling "him" the truth. lmao

Who the fuck wants a totally honest hooker? We don't want hookers to be totally honest any more than any of us want a totally honest SO.

I think someone is just deluding himself.

For the record ANY woman, not just a hooker who is totally honest will immediately be labeled a bitch. AND most likely the title will be well deserved. Too much honesty is never a good thing between the sexes. You would think that hookers and johns of all people would now that. Oh well, at least the hookers around here seem to get the concept, except maybe for LR, but we all know she's a bitch, so I rest my case. lol

But who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks. Before a threesome I asked one of the ladies to teach me how to DTY like a woman. I learned a few new tricks.

Those of us who treat a provider as the GF in GFE, DO have a better experience, without a doubt. Personally, if she's not enjoying herself, then I'm not enjoying myself.

I don't purport to be great by any means, but I definitely think that the hobby has made me a better lover and really, a better person. I don't think there is any magic list of techniques I've learned, but I will list a few things that I've learned that makes the experience more enjoyable for both of us.

Yes there is always room for improvement & as long as you carry that attitude you will do nothing but progress!

feel the need to verbally communicate & have suggestions, this provider is always down to try some new things experience new fun!

...who also were not shy about making suggestions and telling me how they like things

there is a honest & respectful way to relay the truth!

If you ask me, that is when as a hobbyist, you can officially say you are getting your moneys worth!

Since I began providing, I have met other hobbyist who have said the hobby has also helped them become a better lover & person.

If it was bad, it was likely both their faults for not communicating.

... and a few have been obvious about it. I've had good success finding providers who are honest with me. How do I know they're honest?  I have a good idea of who I am, my strengths and weaknesses. It's pretty easy to tell when something a provider (or anyone) tells me is contrary to reality.  

Every woman is different, duh. They all have their pleasure buttons an I'll ask what hers are. I'm very teachable. I want an hope she wants to have a great time like I do. I think I came into the hobby a great lover an now I've learned a few more things an look forward to learning more.

Some people are more naturally outgoing and truly enjoy meeting new people and being "fully present" with them.  These are the people who it is most fun to spend time with.  Mechanical ladies who are just punching a time-clock and whose minds are clearly somewhere else?  No thanks, that is a little boring, just one small step above a blow-up doll.  Fortunately, I've met more of the former than the latter.

As that is my experience too.

And not saying anything if there is nothing nice to say, which I do regularly.

... he'd better be ready for an honest answer, because he may get one and won't like it.  

Maybe 4 or 5 for performance. And no after seeing dozens and dozens of ladies over the last 15 years I am still a complete embarrassment in the bedroom.

And depending on the age of them both, she was possibly taught NOT to direct the man because he ought to know and it would hurt his ego... the biggest, most disastrous piece of advice given to women to give to men EVER.

For me, it entirely depends on the connection/chemistry/spark/lust between me and the provider. For the providers I've been fortunate enough to see where we had that kind of chemistry, I would say I was a very good and generous lover (I love to give pleasure as much as receive it . Sessions like these have definitely made me more confident, and I would say that confidence has made me a better lover. And those sessions have provided memories that will last me the rest of my days.

I had lost my confidence after 10 years of little to no sex in my marriage. After spending the last year actively hobbying, I feel I am on the top of my game.