I'm flying very low under the radar on this one, because it touches so close to home. Please bear with me a while I explain the back story...
I have a nanny. A wonderful girl, really. She's 19, very cute, very open minded, and enjoys flirting with me just a little bit. This post isn't about her: I'm smart enough to stay away from that trouble. My nanny does her job and all is well. And she has a friend. Also 19. Also from a foreign country. This is about her. I spend a lot of time with these girls (flexible work schedule, cute girls, you do the math).
Now these two girls earn very little money. Don't judge - it's the way the system is set up - they earn a set stipend and are always wanting more money. This isn't new, but let's keep this in mind.
The friend (let's call her Cate) has repeatedly lamented her lack of money. She has said on occasion..."I'd sleep with a guy for money! I love sex!" and "If I could only find someone..." She's worked her way through about a half dozen short relationshops or one night stands in the five months I've known her and acknowledges that a couple of them were interesting "just because [she] wanted sex".
Let's be clear...she's not coming on to me. I think I've boxed myself into the "safe friend/psuedo-parental figure" box. But I've been around the hobbyist scene enough to smell an opportunity. With Cate, there's an opportunity.
Now...Why do I care? I mean, it's not like I can sleep with her (though, damn, that hot little body)...And I have no desire to profit or be involved with any part of any exchange of anything that might occur. I care because it's exciting. And I want the salacious details. And I wonder...just how far would Cate go?
So let's say, for the sake of argument, that she received an email from someone saying "I saw your latest Facebook update [lamenting a lack of money for drinks and boys for fun] and I wonder if you'd be interested in some fun that would earn you some money..." and let's further say that she replied with a tentative "I'm interested, tell me more" sort of email.
What would you do?
No matter how long you fight the urge to not get involved, the longer you stay around this girl and her flirtations, you're going to give in. Then you've got more trouble than a handful. Get a new nanny.
The situation with my nanny is fine. Nothing is going to happen there. It's the friend who is providing the interesting possibilties.
And...well, yes, your point is well taken. But like a moth to a flame, there's no way I'm not going to turn away from this. Plus, would it be fair to my nanny to fire her/ship her off just because one of her friends has a (fun) deviant streak?
I know I can't play there. I really can't. The nanny and her friends know me and my family and friends. But my nose says Cate is going to step onto the dark side and I want to know.
talk to her friend. Tell her that the friend is putting you in an uncomfortable position. Or you can talk to the friend and voice your concerns. If you do this, however, make sure the nanny is present. Don't think you want to be alone with the friend.
I can't say it sounds wise - sending the email is farther than I would go. But it's such a hot story that I can only hope that you go for it and give us all continuing updates. please. Be sure to include full descriptions of any legal actions and transcripts from the divorce if applicable.
[chuckle] I can't be involved.
Or, rather, I can set it up through (anonymous) emailers...I can plant the right idea in Cate's ear...I could point her to a board like this one...but she's not ready for that. For the life of me, I can't figure out a way that lands me in bed with Cate.
I've got her, she's hot. She's interested. She'll need a gentle hand to guide her in, but she's game.
And I can't play! Argh!
Stop kidding yourself. Fuck her dude and pay her a nice "stipend."
Because you hobby you see this from a very jaded perspective.
This has the potential to end very badly for her and you. This fire is a little too close to the house if you ask me and I would steer clear, I wouldn't even imply the notion.
Not saying it's gonna happen, but should something happen to that girl how cool are those "salacious details" then? As a hobbyist and a "psuedo-parental figure" you seem to have some altruistic feelings for the girl and if she is clueless, I'm sure you'll feel compelled to help her on the right path and then your down the a pretty slippery slope.
Not worth it. At all.
Let's see...(and we are assuming your post is not total bullshit just to get a rise out of the crowd)
So you have a nanny. This means that raising kids really isn't the most important thing in the world to you. You've got some cash. Maybe the wife works so that you can keep up appearances and flash a lifestyle...or maybe she's just lazy as hell and goes to the spa and chats it up with the girls every day.
Regardless...you are bored. Bored with your life, definitely your sex life, and all that surrounds you. Now you have this situation that is new and exciting. Oh my! Something for you to obsess about and take you outside of your pasty white bland existence.
You watch WAY too much Cinemax and have gone over the deep end.
Best thing to do is just keep trying to be 'cool' to the young girls while you jerk off in the bathroom with these mad fantasies that give your boring existence meaning. Let them live their lives....and find a new obsession.
We now return you to your normally scheduled programming....LOL
Daego, I'll take your potshots on most points, but this one?
So you have a nanny. This means that raising kids really isn't the most important thing in the world to you.
The line forms to the left...and it's a long line...of people who think I'm an ass.
Wow...I'll really have to work myself up to giving a crap about that.
Message boards are simply places where people can state opinions. You stated yours...and mine is that anyone who has a nanny is more concerned with other things than the ultimate importance of raising children. Or in other words...an ass.
So you showed me yours and I showed you mine (opinions) and neither life will be changed.
Now go back to fucking around on your wife and let Consuela raise your kids. Winner!
I wouldn't try to manipulate a girl into becoming a prostitute, especially knowing she is in a strange land and deliberately underpaid.
Instead, I would endeavor to present her with opportunities to better her skills and become independent in other ways.
But, hey, that's just me a guess. A stick in the mud.
If she decided later to pursue that path, especially with other living-wage options available, that's different. But to manipulate her? Naw, not my style.
and pigs can fly.
Look Dave, you know you want her and I'd just about bet my rent money that by the time you read this you've already bonked her.
Here is what is going to happen next:
1. She is going to tell her nanny friend; bet on it.
2. The nanny is going to start acting weird, and who could blame her?
3. Your wife is going to get a whiff of something ain't right in Demark.
4. Someone's going to crack.
5. You will be visiting a lawyer.
Maybe I'm getting a bit out there, but certainly stranger stuff has happened.
My advice: Take a trip and see some real professional sex provider whom you don't have to think twice about blabbing anything and get your rocks off regularly with them, as well as with your wife, if she's availiable for that.
However, I am not making book on whether you'll follow that advice.
a divorce. These are all possibilities.
Go whack off or see someone in your area.
and depending on the details: pandering.
These young girls are in your known cicle of aquaintances. It's like when my teen daughter had a friend over. Or a hot waitress at my favorite eatery. You must distance yourself from their hankie-pankie or it'll come back to bite you it the but like a boomerang. If you want a woman, go find a provider that looks like her. Who, when you walk out the door, has no link back to you.
Just having unsupervised contact with them put you at some risk... Real risk of "He said / She said" Don't play into it. You are playing with fire.
Even your knowledge of "the hobby" should be kept under wraps.
Your next post will be on the Legal Corner wanting to know if they can make the charges stick.
skb
And doubles to boot. You can compensate them for it.
I would not introduce her to being a provider and would mind my own business.
I'll TOFFT on this one, boys! It'll be my honor!
It's the least I could do, considering I've reaped so much from this community and all that have welcomed me into it.
BTW, gotta pic?
I'm fucking serious.
and avoid unwanted trouble.
Yeah, Yeah.
The nanny is not the problem but to get rid of the situation completely, get rid of the nanny.
The Nanny is the root, The friend is the apple and you are the worm.
You want that apple but you can't cause if you do, you will come out of hiding and once you do, Mommy bird will see you and is gonna bite your fucking head off.
So if I were you, I would stop being the worm and be the gardener and uproot that tree and turn that sumbitch to mulch. STAT
If he continue to go to the foreign exchange type nanny shops, he will keep getting hot young women. He will continue to face drop dead gorgeous european, brazillian girls, et al. His best route is to hire an elderly, professional nanny. The professional nanny will be cheaper than a divorce.
nanny or her friend, or your dream girl.
-- Modified on 9/22/2010 8:23:13 AM
This is train wreck in the happening. I'm gonna grab some popcorn and watch it all in slo-mo. Sounds like you're on a train and you can't get off! Nothing good will come of it. Only bad to worse. But, if you're willing to entertain us with the gory details and play-by-play, I am sure we are all willing to watch.
Update...I've thrown away the anonymous email account and won't be replying to Cate.
As so many of your have pointed out, there's no way to maneuver this to a happy ending. It's a wonderful fantasy and who knows where Cate will go with this, but that's her world, not mine.
Ah, well, back to my local KGirl establishment with fantasies of 19 year old au pairs...
wise move Dave. If you ended up in any kind of relationship it would eventually end badly for your family and possibly anger your nanny at the same time. The real benefit of the hobby is that you don't pay to play you pay for them to go away.
If you can make it work, take a :business trip" to the country the nanny and friend come from. You can satify your lust there and avoid losing your family.
A lot of us on this Board - including me - kid ourselves about a lot of things concerning ourselves and the Hobby, but your delusions may be getting you in real trouble.
RUN. If you cannot put up your own boundaries, avoid seeing the young lady at all, particularly alone.
You may or may not be kidding yourself about the young lady's desires, wishes, availability, etc.
You are absolutely minimizing beyond belief the reasons you should not even think about doing what you imagine. The chances of being exposed are high, and the disaster that would occur as a result is off the charts. Although she is of age, you should think of this as a "Jailbait" situation, and, yes, use that word.
like you've got too much time on your hands
Become her pimp. Whore her out, keep 50%. When she becomes all worn out, kick her to the curb. That's what I'd do.