So you have chosen the pay-as-you-go-plan. That's smart. The only other alternative is some form of court ordered "mony" like alimony or palimony. Or gambling your money away on dating. Stop worrying about what women are thinking. Just keep expanding your expendable income. That's the secret of life. Along with deep breathing and yoga.
Do any of you have a minor problem when you are with a great looking provider who you know won't give you a first let alone a second look in the real whorld? Please no advice like "then look for the plain or not so good looking providers". I know am paying for her service and it about me getting what I want. But sometimes during the session I look at her and the thought "if it wasn't for the $$$ she would be here doing what she is doing". It doesn't ruin the session but on the way home I may think about it a little. I am a newbie with only 2 posts (1 pending), is this my problem. Both sessions were great, or did I just think so? They were 1 hour, should I try 2 hours to spend more time together - would it feel more GFE so not to think about real world afterwards?
This precisely why many guys hobby...to get the types of women into bed that they would have no chance of getting in the real world. I can imagine it might be a little bit of a sting, but don't let it bother you. Go with the fantasy and just enjoy it.
It's the same thing when going into a strip club. Gorgeous women coming up to a guy they would no more chat to if he wasn't in the club and a potential customer. It's the nature of the biz.
And think of it from the ASP's POV. She is sleeping with men that she wouldn't normally touch with a pole because of the dollars. What's the common denominator? $$$$$$$$$$$
don't over-analyze ... no she is not your GF & yes, she probably wouldn't hump you for free.
... it is what it is... get over it.
The hobby is mostly about physical gratification. If you're looking for anything else you will be disappointed.
Even the "regulars" that have a "relationship" with their ATF cannot possible believe that their relationship could exist minus the $$$ from the equation.
If it helps at all, look at it this way: you're getting a sure thing from someone you consider great-looking, & all it took was a few green pieces of paper with portraits of dead presidents on them
Hardy5456 in previous posts about this hobby/sport. If that doesn't work listen to Ebby Calvin LaLoosh from Bull Durham. "This is a very simple game. You throw the ball. You catch the ball. You hit the ball. Sometimes you win and sometimes you lose.
It's probably no accident that the story "Beauty and the Beast" was so popular. As men, we can easily be socialized into believing, on an unconscious level, that our very nature is rather beastly. Hence, the greater beauty takes us in, smiles upon us, delights in us, and accepts us, the less we may feel ugly and beastly. If we are paying for beauty to do all of the above, how far removed and for how long can we feel free of being the beast, and not the handsome prince. Of course, this may just be my issue and not your's. If not, never mind.
if you are expecting a romantic tie then you are most likely going to experience a major let down.
The relationship you are entering is a professional relationship. I have clients I see as a professional who I otherwise would not know except for their need of the expertise I posess.
We talk, we are somewhat aquainted with each other but when I am with them I am there as a professional not necessarily as a friend. They pay me to be there.
In the same way, you are paying for the opportunity.
OFF
Related Gratuitous "I pay them to set them free" boobiage Photo
I do understand your question indeed however I don't think it is any different than; 'Would my gardener do my lawn if I didn't pay him'? 'Or would my cleaning lady clean my place if I didn't pay her'? Or any other trade out there.
My only advice is to find someone who you truly believe is doing what she is doing because she loves what she does. I am sure money is a major factor for many ladies why they start this profession however you can only be an actress for so long until it starts to show in a session. So do your research about the lady in question that you want to see and hopefully you will find a lady that you are compatible with and in the end have a great time with.
So you have chosen the pay-as-you-go-plan. That's smart. The only other alternative is some form of court ordered "mony" like alimony or palimony. Or gambling your money away on dating. Stop worrying about what women are thinking. Just keep expanding your expendable income. That's the secret of life. Along with deep breathing and yoga.
I'm just breaking out of the newbie phase myself, and found the first few visits awkward.
But once I started seeking "9" performance providers, they make me feel so good, truly make me "forget it's a service" that it becomes easier. Problem there for newbies is that some do that so well that you suffer after with "love pangs"
My secret- saw as many awesome providers as fast as I could! Prevented the "falling in love" all us idiot men newbies can struggle with and got me comfortable in a hurry. As someone else said- enjoy the ride and don't think!
Just think of them as part time employees. Hire them for an hour, then lay them off. When you need a temp, hire one. Keep it to that, and you will do fine.
Exactly! You're going to pay for it whether you're married, dating, or contracting. The contracting is far less expensive and much more fun in the long run. Yep, don't think about it, just enjoy it! -e
GOODGuy57 is a Romantic, and so am I. After scores of encounters and probably a few years ahead of him, I still approach fucking a woman as a profound human encounter. Of course they do it because of the dead presidents (or the living monarchs, national heroes and dictators if you have hobbied in Europa, Asia and Latin America.) You do it for your own reasons.... My advice: stay with it, do it with a touch of glass, and do hope that your companion of the day is not so insensitive not to realize that, for a fleeting hour or two you are paying to fall in love with her. Fleetingly, of course.
Maybe she doesn't want 1) to embarras you in public by recognising you 2) to embarrass herself by recognising you 3) don't recognise you 4) was thinking of something and oblivious to the world including you?
I'm at best an average looking guy in his 50s. I have never seen, either in person nor via their web sites any woman MORE attractive than my last civie girlfriend who was 20 years my junior. Lest you think my judgment is clouded by my little head, she was referred to by my friends and co-workers (some of whom were about her age) as "outrageously attractive".
Assuming that you are not horribly disfigured, practice good hygiene, are a gentleman, and accept that you have something to offer, you too can attract and have a truly lovely woman on your arm.
Does an opportunity like that come along every day? No. Can you find it if you are willing to put yourself out there and take a few risks? Probably yes. But if you assume you are not worth the time and attention of a beautiful woman on your own merits I can assure you that will turn out true.
You are laying the groundwork for becoming "Too Good of a Guy57". And there are people that might take advantage of your feelings to wring a few more bucks out of you.
Like a bottle of your favorite, it has a bottom. An ending. When it's done walk away with a great memory and leave it at that.
And not to say that you might not make a few friends along the way. I have. And some have "saved" me from making mistakes on the hobby trail.
My "mindset" is always that of a sailor returning to his girlfriend after 6 months at sea. LOL!!!
Glad some people are thinking about this! Perhaps now you can think about how $$$ is too much to pay for an Idyll....
This inflation is totally caused by those who essentially can't get the dog to play with them if they don't tie a pork chop around their neck!
The guys who are so incompetant/aim too high to get any other civvie sex are trashing the field for the rest of us who are just looking for a little side action.
On the other hand- at that pathetic level- they really NEED this!
PS: The real culprit is guys who aim too high- can only get a boner for a hottie- instead of the kind of real woman they meet in real life- they need to get in touch with who they are and accept reality. But denial is a staple of our society- so I'm not thinking anything is actually gonna change...
Talk about the ultimate oxymoron ! Hey, Sully--- ever hear of different strokes ?----( pardon the pun ). Sounds more like sour grapes on your part because you can't afford the more expensive rates of high-end providers. Live & let live, dude !
But in part a sort of insight into the American male and the actual harm of the PORN/Pop Culture sex hangup!
Men who can't generate any civvie sex ARE a bit pathetic. It's OK to look for outside factors- but the inside ones are probable the strongest! Dealing with REAL women is something a lot of American men are not prepared to do...
The fact that many US men have come to expect sex to be like a porn show/film is also at the root of this. Few stop to think why so much porn is actually distasteful to a lot of women- they buy in that the women are just trying to play hard to get. Actually a lot of porn reflects actions and attitudes so foreign to real people that it DOES turn woman OFF.
If the ONLY sex YOU CAN GET costs you $$$+, and you think the blandishments of a paid friend are the height of intimacy- you deserve to pay more!
I just think it is a pity that you are clogging bandwidth and shouldering aside those who know how to carry on a conversation and bathe! But of course we can always use our advanced skill set(this is a joke- some people who can barely read are so touchy) to confront reality.
People will do as they will- and good luck to 'em! But the big spenders are entitled to know that many think less of them for it- not only with envy- but with a sort of sorrow at their predicament.
When I see the little man in the Ferrari- I usually say the same joke I have heard from ladies about such men for years- "Sorry about your dick!" It is funny precisely because EVERYBODY knows what is going on. The actual discomfort of such toys is obvious- as is the cry for attention they entail.
Just know- that many will feel the same way about YOU when you describe how YOU (this is a general you- not a specific) paid some poor girl $2500 to put up with your crap and occasionally deign to let you fuck her over a 6 hour period...
Some may want to be you- but more will want to be as wealthy as you- just with more clue and soul...
That said- I will defend your right to make a complete fool of yourself- as I do to myself all the time- to the death!
Sully-------I HAVE a civie girlfriend-----I also like to frequent beautiful, high-end providers------ & I've never spent a grand or more on them------maybe you should stop jumping to conclusions--
Men come to TER to seek mind-blowing sex w/ lots of classy and beautiful women - and rightfully so, because TER is the best place to find that.
If men are looking for anything more "meaningful" that what I described, they know to go elsewhere or they find out soon enough. It's as simple as that.
Some aspects of your original post came across as offensive and judgmental. However, it is true that there are unrealistic expectations of both what women look like and what sexual encounters should be. Your point about porn is spot-on. In addition, if you think about it, beauty is very much associated with age- young traits are what tend to be considered beautiful in our society and culture. First of all there are only a percentage of the population within that select age range. And out of the females who are not already married, lesbian, too young or too old, there will be only a minority who are considered "drop dead gorgeous" or have an exceptionally attractive demeanor by current pop culture standards. So it is true, these "exceptional" women are a minority, and are not available to most men. Of course, different strokes for different folks- I don't mean to imply that hobbyists solely seek out these types of women (or that all providers fit certain classifications), or that all have the same motives. However, when it comes to the men who do hobby in part to sleep with women they "couldn't normally get," this is not an insult to anyone involved, and makes sense, and is part of the fantasy. One, because statistically the women who are 10 looks/10 performance, and straight/single/available are a minority of women available on the dating scene, and two, because some of these expectations are unrealistic and cannot sustain the tests of time and reality. Of course, often attitude is involved more than looks, when it comes to civvie dating, and if you put yourself out there with a positive attitude, you could probably find a civvie relationship with a woman you find attractive physically and emotionall y and vice versa. That said, many men aren't looking for the strings of civvie dating, and for those who are, and are seeking this supermodel porn star woman, she's likely not going to be available except in a GFE session or a porn flick, no matter which way you look at it. You need to have realistic expectations, no matter what your motives or situation.
you made was about time. A lot of hobbyists don't have the time to invest in having an affair. Someone once said a hobbyist pays $ for a lady to leave after 1 or 2 hours rather than for her time.
Sully is looking at it all wrong. It's the money he seems to hate seeing guys spend that lures ALL varieties of women to the business. Take that away and what happens? He has no selection to choose from.
Hmmm. It sounds to me like you're either cheap or you just don't make enough money. Why don't you work on your problem?
Sure there are many who can't attract a hottie in civvie life. So they shouldn't have that desire? And they shouldn't show their appreciation? Why don't we let the providers decide if they want to fuck you for pennies or someone "less" fortunate who truly appreciates them.
Ok I’ve read all you posts to my question. This is what I have come up with on the subject. While with a provider let the fantasy be the real world for the hour or two. But when you return to the real world remember it was a fantasy that you got to live out for an hour or two. It’s like going to Fantasy Island (TV show for those who don’t remember) live the fantasy while their and remember it when you get home. Thanks for the replies.
When I read, on these posts, that "providers are only in it for the money, it reminds me of my mother's attempt to teach me, at a very early age, that people do things out of only one motive; usually selfish. I bought that for most of my life, but later came to understand that often we can have mixed motives, sometimes selfish and altruistic at the same time. One of the top indications of someone having good psychological health is that of having the capacity to sustain mutually beneficial relationships. That entails giving and getting in belance.
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