I'm masterbating to this thread rigth now!!!

If you divvie up your orgasms (by number or fluid volume, your choice) how would you allocate percentage wise toward the following:

- sex with wife
- sex with mistress
- sex with providers
- sex with your hands
- sex with a hole in the wall
- sex via casual dating via the internet
- sex with your multiplicity of soulmates you found on eHarmony
- sex with chicks you picked up at the bar/mall/supermarket

Please - no bs posts about how this is none of my business.  If you don't want to contribute, STFU!

Personally, right now about 80% of my asset allocation is going to masturbation and
20% toward providers.  I am working on reversing that split.

91% wife
3% hand
5% provider
1% dreams


But it still is none of your business. So why did you want to know?

First off, don't you know you may go blind?

Secondly, if 80% of your stuff is by cuffing off, you are a sad case for a hobbyist. If you want to do better with the 20% of Providers stop beating your meat, start hooking up and start mongering more. rofl

and I do all my taxes myself.

I've always been curious about those. If your doing 80% on your own, a good idea would be to jerk it at a sperm bank and funnel the profit off your genes into your hobby fund

I'm a provider, but I would say that I'm 50-50 between clients and my vibrator.

Sorry I thought this was too funny and had to contribute.

I appreciate your concern.

Well, I was doing well and attending the M.A. meetings regularly but that
had to come to a stop because I was falling behind on "Desperate Housewives"
and "Dancing with the Stars" episodes.  

j/k

"Hi, my name is Warren...and I masturbate.  Violently."

- sex with wife  N/A, I paid a lot to not have one any longer
- sex with mistress  GF, 80% when we were together
- sex with providers  50% when not in a relationship
- sex with your hands  steady 20% at all times.  I am very relaiable and I treat myself right
- sex with a hole in the wall   Ewww  0%
- sex via casual dating via the internet 30% when not in a relationship
- sex with your multiplicity of soulmates you found on eHarmony Isn't that for bible thumpers?  0%
- sex with chicks you picked up at the bar/mall/supermarket  0% at all times

I have no problems with aliases. No problems with OPs from aliases, either.

But to ask a question like THIS as an alias to expect people to answer...

Well, someone less gracious might use descriptors like pussy, fucktard, etc. LOL!

I am the world's foremost authority on ASSCLOWNS, assclown.

HalfHour

PS One does not find persons to fuck on eHarmony. The women are mostly religious (christian) looking to marry.

Before marriage  (approx 100x per year)
- sex with wife to be  - 90%
- sex with mistress - 0%
- sex with providers - 0%
- sex with your hands - 10%
- sex with a hole in the wall - 0%
- sex via casual dating via the internet 0% (no internet at that time)
- sex with your multiplicity of soulmates you found on eHarmony -0%
- sex with chicks you picked up at the bar/mall/supermarket - 0%

After marriage but before first child  (approx 100x per year)
- sex with wife  - 95%
- sex with mistress - 0%
- sex with providers - 0%
- sex with your hands - 5%
- sex with a hole in the wall - 0%
- sex via casual dating via the internet 0% (no internet at that time)
- sex with your multiplicity of soulmates you found on eHarmony -0%(no internet at that time)
- sex with chicks you picked up at the bar/mall/supermarket - 0% (no internet at that time)

After marriage and after first child (approx 75x per year)
- sex with wife  - 70%
- sex with mistress - 0%
- sex with providers - 0%
- sex with your hands - 30%
- sex with a hole in the wall - 0%
- sex via casual dating via the internet 0% (no internet at that time)
- sex with your multiplicity of soulmates you found on eHarmony -0%(no internet at that time)
- sex with chicks you picked up at the bar/mall/supermarket - 0% (no internet at that time)

After marriage and after second child (approx 50x per year)
- sex with wife  - 50%
- sex with mistress - 0%
- sex with providers - 0%
- sex with your hands - 50%
- sex with a hole in the wall - 0%
- sex via casual dating via the internet 0% (no internet at that time)
- sex with your multiplicity of soulmates you found on eHarmony -0%(no internet at that time)
- sex with chicks you picked up at the bar/mall/supermarket - 0% (no internet at that time)

After marriage and after third child (approx 30x per year)
- sex with wife  - 20%
- sex with mistress - 0%
- sex with providers - 0%
- sex with your hands - 80%
- sex with a hole in the wall - 0%
- sex via casual dating via the internet 0% (no internet at that time)
- sex with your multiplicity of soulmates you found on eHarmony -0%(no internet at that time)
- sex with chicks you picked up at the bar/mall/supermarket - 0% (no internet at that time)

After marriage and after third child, 15 years of marriage (approx 20x per year)
- sex with wife  - 5%
- sex with mistress - 0%
- sex with providers - 0%
- sex with your hands - 95%
- sex with a hole in the wall - 0%
- sex via casual dating via the internet 0% (no internet at that time)
- sex with your multiplicity of soulmates you found on eHarmony -0%(no internet at that time)
- sex with chicks you picked up at the bar/mall/supermarket - 0% (no internet at that time)


After marriage and after third child, 15 years of marriage, invention of compuserved, aol, then internet (approx 50x per year)
- sex with wife  - 5%
- sex with mistress - 0%
- sex with providers - 0%
- sex with your hands - 70%
- sex with a hole in the wall - 0%
- sex via casual dating via the internet 25%
- sex with your multiplicity of soulmates you found on eHarmony -0%
- sex with chicks you picked up at the bar/mall/supermarket - 0%

After marriage, 3 children, 20+ years marriage and invention/discovery of TER (approx 100x per year)
- sex with wife  - 5%
- sex with mistress - 0%
- sex with providers - 70%
- sex with your hands - 25%
- sex with a hole in the wall - 0%
- sex via casual dating via the internet 0%
- sex with your multiplicity of soulmates you found on eHarmony -0%
- sex with chicks you picked up at the bar/mall/supermarket - 0%

Very educational.   I think if this were circulated somehow to young men considering proposing to their GFs, we'd see a real change for the better.

Genevieve  is what I call the hole in the wall.  j/k!

Regarding your other questions,
I'm somewhat wealthy, so I don't need the profit from the sperm bank.   Besides, I don't think any woman would want their kids to have my genes.  

By the way, I think you are very cute!