Men say think it's great when women ask them out but the reality is they want to be the pursuers. Same thing applies to escorting..

Men say "call me when you come to town". If I don't do this and just wait for them to call like a girly girl, they always do and I get lovin'. In the few instances I have taken the initiative to call a client who told me ahead of time that he'd be turned on by this, I never hear from him again.

Can someone please explain why men say one thing and mean another? Men accuse women of being hard to figure out. For  assertive babes who just want to do what "feels" right, like picking up the phone and calling a man we really want when we want him, all these games are perplexing.

peace,

hb

But, Heather, it is all a matter of how fine "tuned" your personal radar is, no?  Secure, intelligent and honest men can easily handle almost any situation.  Those who have less of the above qualities are not as at ease with strong women.  In the case of providers; it might also be possible that when you called the gentleman was a bit short of funds.  It is not always easy to sift the wheat from the chaff, no?

i've come to think of it as If I Am Calling, I MUST Need The $$$
whereas if i just make a notice or 2 that i will be in town xx-xx email or call for appointment the assumption is that no one has called yet or I Wanna Be THE FIRST rules.

no good man wants to see a po ho... connotes all sorts of sad images of streetwalkers and junkies.
busy ladies are happy, and ALL Good men want to see a Happy Lady.
hugs,
Nicole
atlanta

It's true. But it's not just men. Humans in general dislike an appearance of desperation, and we all chase after that which appears to run away from us. You've just developed a natural sense of just how much of an appearance of running away will work to entice, without discouraging. If you'd been trying to set up appointments / dates / "lovin'" with women, you'd see that the same thing happens in different manners.

And anyway, you've already defined yourself literally as someone who says one thing and then does another, by reporting that you agree with men that you'll call, and then don't call. Right?

My take on social interaction, is that there's an awful lot more going on than just the habitual "keeping your word" sort of thing of business contracts. I had a girlfriend (once a long time ago) who would NEVER call to confirm anything we'd set up, even if it required some kind of double-check; but if she and I happened to be doing business together, she'd be right and ready to dial that phone. And it wasn't something deliberate. She just "subconsciously" felt uncomfortable about initiating certain types of telephone calls.

To some degree, men (and proactive women, like yourself) who understand this human tendency have a great leg up in the dating and mating game. The concept of knowing how to initiate  something effectively without seeming desperate, is really much more important in getting a date / encounter (with a civilian or in the biz) than is the concept of DESERVING or WANTING it. Plenty of "nice guys" consistently tell their intended's, "I dunno, we can do whatever YOU want" and think they're being "available." But that's TOO available, and comes across as wishy-washy and limp. Whereas a little "alpha bluto toughness" -- "I'm taking you for sushi cuz you said you liked it" -- will impress her that you are someone who "knows what he wants and knows how to get it."

As long as you do that alpha-bluto in the right context, with all the OTHER appropriate social cues attached to it. There are situations when doing exactly that, will appear TOO dominant and therefore desperate in ANOTHER manner. So there's no neat formula, no quick fix. It's all about mediating a million little subtle cues.

Why do men say one thing and do another? Same reason women do. "All I really want is a nice guy," she says from the back of the Harley driven by the man with the whip.

Yes, exactly. The instant she's desperate for ME, she's no longer desirable to me. But if all sorts of OTHER people want her, then there must be something about her that's worth having.

At least, that's the analysis in any average human's natural tendencies. We all deviate from that, bit by bit, circumstance by circumstance. And there's of course distinctions between setting up a "date" with a provider and with a civilian girl, although this thread is demonstrating that the two are a lot closer than many may think.

It sorta of all fits together under a game I despise called "playing hard to get".

First of all, if I were to try to call every gent who ever asked me to every time I was in their area, it would mean keeping a nice, organized list of clients in each specific area, with their numbers and maybe a little other info to help me remember who they are. I can tell you now... I am not organized enough to make a grocery list, much less client lists for the different areas of the MD/DC area, plus out of town places I've been to. Fageddaboutit!  Not to mention the fact that in general I never even RETURN a call... I prefer to wait until the gent emails or catches me on the phone, because frankly, I NEVER know what is going on on his end of the phone. I do not want to call and have *someone else* pick up, or be standing right there going "Who is that?" and put the guy in an awkward situation. Bad idea!!!!

But hey, who says a guy on a Harley with a whip can't be a nice guy???? Stereotypes, oh my!

Hugs*
Nicole

Gee, I dunno. Why do women do it, too? Why do they say they're engaged and are retiring from the biz and then keep on doin' it in spite of themselves?

I really don't think it applies to escorting at all. There's real-life dating and then there's the pay-as-you-go social life, such as this euphemistic "hobbying". 99% of the time there are entirely different rules in the human dynamic aspect of it. If an escort were to call me (and they won't be doing so, by the way), I'd have to say they were in need of some income, more than usual. Matter of fact, I can see some guys expecting a discounted rate (Hey, YOU called ME). Those that say to call them when you get to town, I would surmise, are usually not thinking with the big head. Push comes to shove and you call, chances are it doesn't seem as nearly a good idea as it did when uttered. When it comes to escorts, those who hear the call me when you get to town mantra should blow it off, literally and figuratively.

It takes too much effort and imagination to lie, therefore men won't do it. After all, men are lazy (and good for nothing etc). But, there are exceptions to every rule. The first is men will say anything to get into your pants. The second is men will say they love you when they are in your pants. And the third is they will call you because it sounds better than 'farewell, until we meet again.'