I had a very satisfying relationship with a provider for five years. It wasn't perfect, but what difficulties existed were not related to her work, but rather were more typical of those any relationship would encounter.
If you both need to change to make it work, then it won't work. It does require you both to be mature and open-minded- no room for jealousy or insecurity in this situation. But if you are truly that type of person, it can be as good as any other relationship. If you lack those characteristics, then no amount of talking, compromising or wishing will make it succeed.
I was approached by a wonderful provider who said they are starting to have real feelings for me. I am a bit shocked. Have any of you providers found a great guy while doing your work? Have one of your customers become more than a customer?
it's funny u ask. my second guy i was ever with, i fell head over heal for him. he said he had felling's also. but then about two weeks later he found out he has cancer and he just has been hidding out. not talking to me. i still have him in my heart and if i ever find anyone like that again i will go for it..best of luck what ever you do..
I have met 3 that I see as often as they/I can. I only date guys for my personal social purposes that are single. One, likes to get really dressed and go out to endulge in fine dining with me. Plus he's a great lover. One likes to go to concerts, plus he's a great lover. The other is very athletic, he runs, while I ride my bike, LOL. Also, a great lover. They all treat me like a lady. Each one I approached after meeting them through this arena. Not wanting a committed, stressful, or any drama type dating scenario, I have found this medium to be the best way to meet the kind of men I wanted to date. There is no conversation regarding future planning. At the sametime, I won't date someone while "sneaking around". If I can't be seen in public with someone, why would I want to pursue a friendship? That is how I like it. I have been careful not to continue any friendship with someone who might get his feelings hurt. That includes professional friendships. I do have genuine affection and care about my gentlemen friends. I believe they do for me too. They call and check on me, if they can't be around. And don't pout if I am already scheduled. But I have specifically chosen to date guys who are very secure and accomplished, men I respect. I don't know if I will ever want to "settle down" with anyone again. But if I did. It would be with a man like one of them. They are so handsome...........
I found your response very intriguing. Before I continue you will note that I am using an alias here. Reasons for that may or may not be evident other than I just feel more comfortable. It is much to your credit that you have given careful thought to this matter. There is a sincere sensitivity in your response that I find refreshing. I was particularly struck by your point about not continuing a friendship with "someone who might get his feelings hurt". Furthermore your basic dignity as a human being is not going to be compromised by "sneaking around" with someone who is nervous about being seen in public with you. Unfortunately there are men who would try to manipulate the situation in just that fashion. For my part I would would feel privileged and proud to be in your presence in any setting and the reasons extend far beyond what meets the eye.
You have been very forthright and direct in a no nonsense way, and yet your response was sufficiently nuanced in a way that seems to leave a bit to the imagination of the reader, or perhaps that is just the way I am reading it. Finding oneself "accomplished and secure" in a woman's eyes is something most men strive for but a somewhat elusive goal at times. I suppose that is in part due to the notion that "accomplished and secure", although seemingingly quite straightforward in a general sense, is perhaps somewhat different from one woman to the next. I would suspect that would apply more to "accomplished" than "secure", although it would certainly depend on one's viewpoint or definition of those terms. I would be interested in how some of the women out there arrive at seeing a man as "accomplished and secure". What attributes, qualities, or characteristics cause you to see a man in that way?
Jenni you never cease to amaze me. One of your many admirers.
Cat thank you for your response. Very nice. To answer your question regarding my view on accomplished/secure......
I find a man that has worked hard to do a good job at what ever it is, and who has taken care of his responsabilities with his children to be an accomplished person. It doesn't necessarily refer to any level of income. My athletic friend happened to have some work to do in Barstow while I was in Vegas, so he hopped over to join me for a day and night. But never wavering when it comes to his kids (he is divorced but very involved), left at 4:00 in the morning to make it home to his daughter's soccer game. He wouldn't think of missing those things. He would never compromise that for a piece of A**. I find that very handsome.
As for my view on "secure", I am referring to the fact that these gentlemen I am dating never react to my chosen profession in a jealous or negative way. Occasionally they ask me questions they are curious about, and I answer without editing. But if I cannot see one of them because I am already scheduled to "work" well, I have not had a negative response. I tried for about 7 years to find such gentlemen to have social interaction with in the personals, or going out to bars, etc and could not find such friendships. I find it amazing that I found such characters in this arena, but then it makes sense because there are alot of very open minded people here. Not so uptight about the "morals" that our laws are dictating. I consider myself to have very strong morals. At this point in my life, I am even telling people what I do when someone in the civilian world asks me, because I do not like to lie or sneak around especially when I really do like what I am doing. These laws will never change as long as we keep lying.
Additionally, I have made some very good friends with some guys who I met this way who have become platonic friends. We didn't quite have the right chemistry in the physical place, but have interests and opinions that have allowed a nice friendship.
I have also made some great friendships with a few women here. Great gals. We really like supporting and helping each other. This is a very kind community really. I love it.
Jenni I am so glad you took a moment to respond. As you know the "half life" of a thread on these boards is about a day and a half at most and then they are relegated to the "dust bin of ancient history" seldom to be revisited. I thought I might have missed that narrrow window of opportunity to catch your eye on this topic and I was certainly interested in your viewpoint.
I was hoping you might "flesh out" your viewpoint and it was nice that you took the time to do so. I suspect that I could almost have predicted your response but that in no way should suggest that you are all that predictable . It was just, I suppose, a reaffirmation of my own sense of your character, honesty, integrity, and yes morals. Not to mention kindness. I value a sense of ethics and morals in my own life and that is not compromised when I am in your presence, if anything it is enhanced.
I am guilty of this as well. He was a submissive who started with me 7 years ago. After about 3 years our lives became so meshed that a very personal situation developed. A Mistress is not only her lover's friend confidant kink and courtesan - She is peace solace and structure. More so in the dynamics of the D/s psyche. DT is everything. He is also married.(although not for much longer- HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH ME !!!!- shes a very severe abusive alcoholic unfortunately.) He has counseled me guided me and supported each and every decision - when I desire to date he is there at the end of it to get the juicy details : ) He is often my driver. I am most certain he will always be a part of my life.
I respect your response maybe if you could clone a man mixing the 3 mens genes? I think you would get your perfect ideal man just for you. kisses & licks......... mara
I have dated a few providers and have had some good times with them, however it is very difficult to have a long term relationship, unless both parties are willing to change. just my 2 cents...
I had a very satisfying relationship with a provider for five years. It wasn't perfect, but what difficulties existed were not related to her work, but rather were more typical of those any relationship would encounter.
If you both need to change to make it work, then it won't work. It does require you both to be mature and open-minded- no room for jealousy or insecurity in this situation. But if you are truly that type of person, it can be as good as any other relationship. If you lack those characteristics, then no amount of talking, compromising or wishing will make it succeed.
I agree with you that both parties have to be open-minded and secure. However, sometimes one or the other person wants to take the relationship to the other level, i.e. an exclusive relationship and/or they might want to get married. Certainly, in that situation, there is a choice that needs to be made. When emotions become involved, then even the most mature and open-minded individuals will feel insecure and this goes for both the male and female.
How people meet really doesn't matter as long as both are single. Providers should stear clear of the married, the attached and the girlfriended.
To date, I have never dated a client. I did develop feelings for one but the feelings were not reciprocated. That was my only case of feelings in my entire career span so I guess you can say, in general, I feel I can keep everything in check and in a happy place.
Just as guys moan and bond about why it's not good to fall for a provider, I can say it's not good to fall for a client, unless perhaps, he is available. If he's not, your life will be a mass of dog shit and rising above dog shit is no easy task.
I'm saying that unfortunately we have no control over who we fall for. I'm convinced it's written in the stars. Why one particular person stands out to you in a crowd of thousands that we meet in life is beyond reason. And some whom we like very much and who we find attractive, we don't love in that way. Love is rockets and when you have them, you know. No analysis needed.
If the guy is a gentleman, treats me with respect, and there was real chemistry between the two of us I would definitly, take a chance on in a situation that was mutually beneficial I would definitely take a chance.
never dated one...have many ask me to though. some r very scary insistant about it. can't give 110 % to this yet in my life so i don't promise it. all who have asked made it clear they know what i choose to do now aned it doesn't matter. whatta ya do!!
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. It was just, I suppose, a reaffirmation of my own sense of your character, honesty, integrity, and yes morals. Not to mention kindness. I value a sense of ethics and morals in my own life and that is not compromised when I am in your presence, if anything it is enhanced.
