That's utterly disgusting

Let's please stick to tales of Erotica,orgasms,tits,pussy,and nasty,slutty,horny sex.

"Dootie" stories are better left in the toilet bowl where it belongs with a good firm wank of the toilet handle every time a log is cut...then of course, heavy dispersing of the Lysol with a rigorous scrubbing of the hands with a disinfectant soap.
Excuse me while I go poop.

Tally-Ho!

I'm just stumped on how to answer..

I think I have been VERY fortunate to have had the clean, nice gents that I have, and can only think of a few guys that were 'less than' in the clean or mannerly way.

I would hope that you could make some 'assumptions' by sizing up your email and phone conversations with them to see how mannerly they seem. Then, when you finally meet, and have your 'get to know you' time, I would hope that you could get some ideas about him then, and if not pleased, could back out of the date then. One thing I like to do is glance down at his hands and see how his fingernails look. If they are dirty under his nails, then chances are he neglects other areas also. If his clothes are disheveled and he has this morning's breakfast spill stains on his shirt and he doesn't seem to notice or mind, then you may have a 'slob' on your hands.
It's a toughie because you don't want to necessarily be snobbish; you do want to give people a chance and a benefit of the doubt, but you also don't want to regret the date either.

Farting when you make him laugh? And he is NOT embarrassed or shameful? Here's the door..

We as providers, can pick and choose who we see, Thank God!
I would never have a second visit, with someone like that!

You can never imagine, some of the Shit (pun intended)that we have to put up with!

Providers, deserve so much more credit than they recieve!
You have to be a tough cookie to put up with some of the shit (again pun intended) we have to!

It's not much to ask, for good hygiene, is it?

Sounds like too many of your clients dig White Castles...lol

The taste you crave....

Murder burgers
depth chargers
sliders
heartburn pellets
belly bombers

tell them to go easy on the onions next time and lay off the prune soda.

Cheers!

Some ladies think nothing of squatting on the toilet with the door wide open. When I'm paying for a hot sexy session I don't care to witness this. Granted it was not a stanley steamer that I witnessed, but it's a mood wrecker none the less. The used feminine napkin that was floating in my hopper after a session was something I'd rather not have witnessed either.

Then there was the lady that could queef at will. I (mistakenly) acknowledged her talent with a chuckle so she proceeded to bestow upon me a queef marathon.  Ah, but it's the thought that counts right!

And, my most favorite memory was with an ATF last summer. She's a beautiful woman, the face of a model,very feminine and the sweetest girl I've met in some time. I was in the bathroom and could see her in the full length mirror on the bedroom wall.  As I stared at this gorgeous creature in the mirror lying nude on the bed, she went into a full force nose picking session. She must have been up to the knuckle in there as she picked away. After she had had her fill of eating her boogers, she then proceeded to wipe them on the bed spread.

Round two was out of the question for me after that!

Common courtesy needs to be adhered to by men and ladies alike


-- Modified on 4/6/2004 12:33:10 AM

My 6'3" 350 pound client came in stinking of onions, beer and cigarettes. He was full of gas and his burps smelled like hotdogs. His stomach was growling so loud it sounded like an angry hungry pitbull was inside. 15-20 minutes into the appt I was giving him a BBBJ and he started sneezing. It turned out he was allergic to the down feather pillows. The third time he sneezed he let out a really loud fart in my face!! Trying not to gag I was holding my breath. The smell continued to linger and get worse. I pretended I didnt notice and began to pay some more attention to the boys when I realized they were wet...... my hands were covered in wet, stinky DIARRHEA. He offered to help clean me up but I had a bigger problem on my hands. His Diarrhea melted through the sheets down to the mattress. looked like chocolate pudding. Now, what would you do?

Re:For Providers... stinky,SMELLY. ..wet fart ?'s.. what do you do???

Where do you advertise? Iraqi refugee camp???

This must be the same guy...

who went to the doctor for his checkup and the doctor asked for his urine sample, blood sample and stool sample.  The guy took off his underwear and gave it to the doc!

Are you sure that wasn't Al Bundy?

Now I can understand why a girl told me either shave or get lost:-o, but what you got was way too much.

then never see him a again

Yikes.

Light a match will Ya.

OUCH.............that is pretty bad.

I try ot be clean before I get there, and a quick rinceoff is all thats needed to knock down any new odors.

Problem is when you have to go you have to go.

Farting when he laughs?      He really needs to take a closer look at his diet. And change it.

Shower Fever!  Catch it or catch shit- from the rest of us for years to cum....