I don't usually schedule multi-hour appointments or give gifts over and above the donation.  On a few occasions I have tried to create more of a date atmosphere by bringing champagne/wine, snacks, a selection of music and a gift.  On none of those occasions did I ever get any sort of verbal appreciation for my efforts or any acknowledgment of the gifts given (which were left with the envelope and not opened during the date).  I had been in contact with all of the providers through email, so they knew how to contact me.  In the civilian world, I think that it is bad etiquette to not acknowledge and thank someone for a gift, but I don't know what the expected etiquette should be in the hobby.  I would expect the same, especially since I invested a lot of time, thought and money on the provider, and it wasn't just a wham-bam hour appointment.

Do I have a misunderstanding of a provider "date" and am I expecting too much?  Or do the mentioned providers need a lesson in etiquette and client relations?

I'd like to hear opinions from both hobbyists and providers.

and good manners are of paramount importance.

Nevertheless, do not let this deter you from continuing to bring a gift should the desire to give still be with you.

The beauty of the gift is in the giving.

It is the receiver's bad karma to not acknowledge your intention.

before picking out something YOU would have liked yourself? You have no idea how often I get wine as a gift. It's a good thing that my best friend loves wine, because I hate it. I do always thank the Friend who gives it to me, but in my head I'm thinking of what a waste it is, since I won't even drink it. I always wish they had just overcome shyness and asked me what I like. Then my gratitude would be genuine and we'd likely be rolling around on the floor tearing up the new lingerie...

I don't know why a guy even feels compelled to bring a gift in the first place.  Isn't shelling out $400 an hour more than adequate?

This hobby is all ass backwards and has completely forgotten about who the client is vs. who is getting paid. I wish guys would realize that they don't need to blow sunshine up the backsides of service provider so they will like them enough to accept their $400 an hour payments.

If anyone should be bringing gifts, candles & wine it should be the providers to show their appreciation for the guys business.  If more guys would grab themselves by the gonads and stop kissing ass, the standards of service in this hobby might actually show signs of returning to a  decent level.

I like it when providers have a wish  list on their site.. However, 90% of whats on the list is ridiculous and over the top..  If seeing a provider for the 2nd or 3rd time, and you have had a really great experience, a gift is not out of line..  I have brought small gifts even on the first date...just as an ice breaker, nothing more .

I think most providers have enough lingerie, wine and candles and would prefer to pick out their own lingerie anyway..  So, at the end ofthe session, if so inclined, I give the universal crowd pleaser...a cash gratuity !!!  appreciated by everyone !!!

I always bring a bottle of good wine. In every circumstance the lady has expressed her appreciation.

-J

Hello Mr. Meek-

I am very glad you brought this question up.

As a provider, I always wonder what goes through the head of the hobbyist that brings additional gifts and ones that do not.

The gentlemen that seek out what I may be desiring by asking me or studying my 'wish list' are always given a verbal thank you.

Right now, I am taking self-defense classes provided by a hobbyist. After I was a victim of a 'hate crime' he insisted that I learn to defend myself. The two times a week that we meet to take the classes, his own and mine, I thank him! I greet him with a kiss and/or hug and then we go into the place for the class. I often stay with him after class and chat or even give him rides home, so he does not have to cab it.

I tell him thank you, I show him thank you. I am not owed anything. I always want to demonstrate my gratitude to gentlemen that go above and beyond the donation. If they care enough, I care enough.

I think that you need to meet a provider that was raised with manors, etiquette and most of all, grace.

I think that if you open your eyes beyond the provider's photos and look at her correspondence, as well as any verbal interactions, you will know exactly what you are getting.

I receive additional gifts, frequently. To me, that demonstrates that I am appreciated for being different. I believe the gentlemen that meet me and have an initial experience with me know that I am very different from most providers. I believe because they can see the difference, they want to treat me different and special. I give and I also get. It is a wonderful experience to enhance a man's life and then for them to desire to do the same for me!

From a girl who loves what she does and loves people as they come-

Veronica DeNero

I don't see why your provider would not acknowledge your efforts. Perhaps you could just ask her: do you like what I have brought?

I find it rather rude and ungrateful to not even acknowledge your gifts.  Even if it was something that your providers didn't necessarily like, a polite 'thank you' should have been in order.

It is certainly your prerogative to bring gifts and what not to help set the mood, but if it goes unappreciated, don't knock yourself out because the lady has no manners.  It's your date, it's your time, and it's your money.  There was nothing unreasonable expected of your providers, simply a nice GFE for a gentleman deserving of the time and companionship.  If I were in your shoes, I don't think I'd see them again.  They're clearly not about providing with quality.

You seem to genuinely appreciate these ladies and take your time to show that with your thoughtfulness.  I, for one, would think it very sweet and would definitely show you my gratitude. ;oP

XOXO,
Stella

I appreciate any gift and say thank you. Especially if it's something I really like but even if it's something I may not care for, it's ok. I appreciate it when someone takes the time and money to go out of their way to give a gift.

A thank you should always be returned when a gift is given no matter if it's the civie or hobbying world.

Unfortunately, there are those who don't have manners.

In the case of a gift in an envelope and it's not opened til after you've left, well that may cause a provider to question whether or not to contact you afterwards. Many providers adhere to the rule of not contacting a client after a meeting (unless specifically told it's ok to contact them)...the provider may not feel it's ok to contact you. Perhaps in this case, you could email them first and say something like it was great to see them. That would leave the door open in order for them to give the proper thanks.

Personally, I LOVE gifts. I don't ask for them, but they are nice surprises here and there. If you were to hand me a Victoria's Secret bag, I'm definitely going to tear into it and model what's in it for you right then and there. I will also do very naughty things to you in return. hehe.

If these ladies don't at least say thank you, then that's just being rude. I get the feeling some people (male or female real world or hobby world) just expect things like that all the time. I think it shows their selfishness... maybe if you'd like your kindness to be appreciated more, you might try finding someone who is more appreciative of you.

Just my .02

Katie

Expecting a provider to email you after the date to express her gratitude is not realistic.  For one thing, she may not know how you feel about an email coming "out of the blue".  This kind of thing has gotten clients "busted" by their SO's, you know.  However, etiquette demands a proper "thank you" at the time that the gift is given!  Hence, this is why many men (including myself sometimes) will gift at the start of the session.  Perhaps, I'm lucky as I've never had an unappreciative provider upon receiving my gift.  (NOTE:  I have seen it happen on tips, which is one of many reasons I discourage tips!)  Perhaps, you've just picked "losers" for your escorts?  Or perhaps your personality or hygeine is such that the words "thank you" just can't come forth?  Time to re-assess.

In answer to your inquiry, the gifts given were things that either were listed on the provider's website or things that I thought (based on doing some research about them) they would like.  In one case it was a gift card to a favorite bookstore, in another case it was CDs of the musical genre that they claimed to like, in another case I made a few CD mixes of songs that they had mentioned over the course of a few weeks in their blog.

Thanks for your final assessment of me.  I don't have any major personality flaws (I am genuine, down-to-earth, and easy to talk with) and am very conscious of my hygiene prior to a date.

I will take your advice and prod them gently through email next time and see what transpires.  Thanks!

And I, for one, do give gifts to my favorite regulars... After all, one of them bought me new boobs, another a car, another put me through school, and one even helped me get my home loan when I was buying my first house a few years back. You guys make a real difference in our lives, and I feel sad for you that you haven't found a provider you have enough chemistry with to enjoy this kind of relaxed and open relationship.

But attitude is key. If you walk in thinking, "This bitch just wants my money, and she really hates me and wishes I would leave," then you will unconsciously be rude and uncommunicative and she will end up feeling like you're just a jerk whom she wishes would leave.

And no matter what, we're cheaper than a wife in the long run!

I always used to bring a gift to my special ladies. Perhaps a different take on how to build anticipation and results.  My gift was from Victoria's Secret, usually a white garter belt and thigh highs.  My ladies always appreciated it and were delighted to model.  Part of the fun was shopping.  Uusally I was the only man in the store. Observable looks, and discreet eye contact, but the clerks noticed.  And, I was in forbidden territory. There's something special in meeting a lady when you're carrying that distinctive pink striped bag. The usual erotic result was compounded by the ladies feeling so sexy, with my mild fetish of garter belts, thigh highs, and nothing else.  White frame surrounding her femininity.  We usually left it on while we played.  So, guys if you want to cross a boundary, take the plunge and go shopping at VC.  Find a store that carries La Perla, get educated about lingerie.  Play for fun.  Make your ladies appreciated, feel sexy, and delighted with simple, inexpensive, but erotic gifts.  I, and they prefer $45.00 for fun than an impersonal "tip."

Here, here!

V-

I didn't make a "final assessment" of you!  I told you SOME of the possibilities at play here.  Suggesting that you re-assess who you're seeing and what you're doing (or maybe not doing) is not an indictment on you.  I may be blunt, but I wasn't making a "final assessment" of you.  Since all seems to be well on your end, then you should conclude that the ladies you've gifted simply lack good manners.