A woman I (barely) know was quite open during a conversation we had. I ran into her at a local restaurant. We talked for a good hour and got to know each other a little.

She is single, not immediately looking for a relationship, and is horny a lot. Rather than hooking-up, she is looking for an 'activity partner' whom she can trust and explore sex with. She has various kinks that she wants to explore. She wants to learn to give a good blow job. Stuff like that. She asked me if I would be willing to be her activity partner.

I found her to be a very genuine person, very straightforward, and intelligent. I like her. She could do 'activity partner' and not fall in love. The thing is, I don't find her physically attractive. I like her enough as a person and appreciate her direction. I'll probably take her up on her request.

The question is twofold:

1) Any tips on mentally preparing for sex with someone you don't necessarily find physically attractive? In my case, it's merely that she is not my type. My thought is to focus on her personality and other qualities that I appreciate. (I've got to get emotionally excited to get it up. Women can lube up and think of the flag. Despite viagra or whatever, it's different for a guy.)

2) Any advice on dealing with someone less sexually experienced? She's open and not shy, but she'll be looking to me for direction and comfort. What does an ideal interaction look like? Bear in mind, if I agree to this, I'll be meeting her over several different encounters

I've had it happen where, even though I was not initially attracted to my partner, they possessed such an extraordinary, natural sexuality that the sex was off the charts.  Ya never know!

..tell her you want 500 an hour. That's a nice incentive right there.

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I'm curious what about this woman that is NOT your type? age, race, look, body type etc... I might be able to suggest something depends on your answer.

For me I'm very flexible and forgiving. I can do it with most any age, any look (unless downright repulsive), any race... my only stickler is body type which I can't do fat women

Personally, attraction is not particularly connected to physical appearance. It's all about personality, and I find someone physically attractive based on how I relate to them - not the other way around. There is nothing sexier than experiencing someone enthusiastically and authentically sharing their sexuality. Sounds like this is what's gonna go down.  

Try thinking of attraction as a dynamic, rather than a static fact. It's a totally different, better and more exhilarating experience if you can do this if you can get over the "I'm attracted to you therefore" mindset.

I'm 6'1, slim, and somewhat of a fashion plate. While I tend to gravite to women with similar traits (slim, put together), I can go more diverse. She's more curvy than I am accustomed to. She's not a 'very large' girl, but again bigger than what I am accustomed to.

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I find my body will pretty much respond...  hormonally...  if we just lay together skin to skin.  If it's been a while I can just enjoy feeling the hormones in my blood stream...  Maybe it's because I'm a mature guy.  Younger guys tend to be push button...  and younger (inexperienced) women expect an instant response.  
I think the old book "The Joy of Sex" is worth a read...   can give a lot of pointers (including that handcuffs LOOK better for kinky sex than they are in practice.)

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Instead of dinero, you'll get to show her the ropes and maybe have some fun in the meantime...But I don't see this lasting long...

Is she paying you?  If she's paying you who cares fuck away... But if you're doing as FWB, you're attracted to some point of her since your considering this..

Sometimes stimulation & attraction isn't about looks.. It's about how that person makes you feel... You can be good looking & rich but if you don't have heart/personality/substance then you're Worthless..

Personally, my sexual attraction levels both personally and professionally tend to hedge on how kinky/sex-positive/open-minded my partner is. The closer our mutual kinks, the more likely i am to be attracted to my partner. I've learned this over the years, and didn't always think that physical attraction could be supplanted by sexual attraction (note there's a difference). There have been instances where the two collide, and that's seriously mind-blowing. But most of the time those attractions are separate- I can think someone is hotter than the face of the sun and once I get them into bed and see how boring they are, I'm turned off and won't want to try again.  

Sex in my personal life is rarely as fun or exciting as it is in my work life. In my work life, i'm not restricted by my own aesthetic disposition since I don't even know what my client looks like until I open the door.  All i know about my client is a general idea concerning wants, needs, and areas of exploration.  

As far as dealing with someone less sexually experienced, you'll have to have some patience and you'll have to do a lot of guidance. Show her how to do the things she wants to learn how to do, but also let her do those things as well. Make sure to also focus on her pleasure. Since she is less experienced than you, you'll need to take extra care and check in with her.  She's going to be seriously turned on by getting to do all these new things, and she's going to want to do ALL THE THINGS that she might not be physically or mentally prepared for. Be responsible. Don't take advantage of her excitement.  When she tells you to stop because something doesn't feel good/right, stop. Ask her what else she'd like to do. Since she is the one who is less experienced, this really needs to be about her and what she wants to explore, and I applaud her for taking the lead in learning about her sexuality.

The title of my response speaks for itself: no female can understand what it is like to have a penis (and a male brain) which needs to be sufficiently stimulated to achieve an erection.  

By way of elaboration, the below items have been posted by females on adult sites.  Often, the sexes differ in what they want and need in a partner of the opposite sex.

Some female points of view:

1)  No rich man is ugly.

2)  All a woman needs is a smile and a bottle of lube (posted by a "working" woman).

3)  When a plain-looking guy is nice to a woman, her brain does a "photoshop" thing and he becomes more attractive.  (See Lauren's quoted response above; perhaps she was the author of this thought.)

Signed,
I have been studying women for 50 years.  I've learned a lot but have not yet graduated.

Come on man, read the question! They asked you exactly what SHE looked like. Not you! What's your type means what kind of woman do YOU like!?!?

unless you want to be in an "interesting" situation.

For starters, the whole idea of a woman you hardly know approaching you with this offer seems weird, like a nine on a one to ten scale weird.  My 60+ years of experience with women tells me it just doesn't work that way, so it prompts the question of where she is coming from and why.  I would not take her at face value.

Next, your lack of attraction means that you'll be carrying a heavy onus.  This might not be any fun considering that she is going to expect you to provide results that you may not be able to deliver.  I presume you have no formal or even informal training as a sex therapist.  Her disappointment could be the spark that causes this whole explosive mix to blow up, and it could get very ugly.

Regarding looks and attraction, it is true the two are not synonymous.  I have met woman who would be considered quite attractive, but something about them just didn't do it for me.  On the other hand I have known women who could be termed plain, and that's being generous, but with whom I have had delightful sex.  I see this as a the chemistry factor.  If you two don't share chemistry, then I don't see this as being something I'd want to do.  Like I said, perhaps you are the devil-may-care type and are curious about what will happen.  Just make sure you keep your eyes wide open.

Finally, sex is always an explosive force.  Here in the hobby we try to handle it safely by using money as a means to overcome the emotional aspects and set a firm rule that there are no strings attached.  Even with that, how often do things go out of kilter?  (Answer:  a lot!)  Go ahead and explore if you must.  For selfish reasons I'd love to see you do this just to see what happens, but I will offer you this:  Good luck, you will need it.

 

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Hehe. I think you misunderstand me. I don't get turned on just when someone adheres to basic social standards of behavior lol. When someone is nice to me, I'm happy and appreciative. I don't want to have sex with them.

I was talking about chemsitry and energy, which - personally - does not have to do with looks. No I don't have to get an erection, but, if I did have to I would. I'm talking about genuinely wanting to fuck. Fun fact, women's anatomy changes when they are turned on!! I won't go into detail but I suggest you look it up.

I find the things you quoted all seem to be ways of stating women don't need to be turned on to have sex. Which, is true mehanically, but not what I was talking about at all.  

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I'll teach her how to suck on a fake penis, she will have to pay me though. Wink

So it sounds like there's still possibility. Try to focus on the positives. Perhaps she has nice big tits? or round soft bootie? or her face is not half bad? It will help tremendously if you can convince her to start with BBBJ...

Good luck

Unless it is absolutely, positive, disgustingly not do-able anytime we men have a chance to stick our penis in any hole for free we should never let the opportunity goes to waste

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