I never have taken young guys but I was dumb and forgot to ask age. He was nice when he came in he put the money on the table. when he left I was cleaning up and I walked out and he was gone and the money. sh** I am so mad at myself. had to tell someone.

Count the funds first and you’re labeled as “just being in it for the money”…of course ruining the GFE in the mean time. Wait till later and you feel like a sucker when you get taken.

I always thought that making a lady feel safe and secure is what makes an encounter smoother for both parties, hobby or civilian life.

Guys, why not take care of business first so that she feels taken care of from the start…one more thing to work in your favor were YMMV.

Just my .02’s worth

SM  


-- Modified on 5/23/2004 8:02:35 PM

We meet losers from whom we walk away and no-shows now and then.....  disgrace to our normally well-functioning community.

What is that separate site which lists such jerks?  Eager to post a couple!!

I must ask, what does his age have to do with this?

I can understand the frustration or anger from being ripped off, and totally agree that it was wrong. However, this incident could have happened with a client of any age. I believe from your description of the circumstances, you state you were cleaning up when he left, it was probably not planned ahead of time. Criminology reports show that most theft, robbery, and shoplifting is done by being presented with an easy opportunity. This was a theft by opportunity.

I realize that some ladies prefer older, mature clients, and I can respect their wishes. However, I hope you can look at this as a seperate issue and give us younger guys a second chance.

Also, while on the subject, do you ladies find money to be more of an issue with any particular group and/or demographic of clients, especially the younger ones? Just curious, since it may be something I need to be more aware of and understanding of her concerns during my next appointment.
best regards, mr.man

Taking care of business first, allows the lady to now focus on taking care of the gentleman without worrying about being take care of.  

Personally, I could never be a waitress or stripper (actually I've done both) and only work for tips, nor should providers HAVE to, after inviting a stranger into her home and her body, AND treating him like a king.

There are some businesses that operate on "spec", and this is not one of them.   Too many men treating us as though we are operating on that type of premise serve little than to promote a downward spiral.



-- Modified on 5/23/2004 8:49:16 PM

In final essence, it's not age, it's character, and perhaps younger may be more prone to peer pressure, but I'm not so sure....I've noted some pretty amazing young men.

Personally, I think it has to do with how they were raised - their value of other humans, THAT kind of education, which  is priceless, unless of course it is with that knowledge and the  behavior that which they choose to undermine others (48 Laws of Power, yech... A stated technique within that book that makes me livid), meaning that,

No one wants to be treated badly.  Even the ones who think it's cool to get away with something don't want to be treated badly....

Whenever I meet one of these wonderful ones, I make sure I let them know how much they are appreciated for their attitude...from the other side.



-- Modified on 5/23/2004 9:10:57 PM

I think it's best for everyone.  For me, it's best to have the business part out of the way and completely out of my thoughts when the fun starts. I'm just more comfortable to me that way.  

If it adds to the lady's comfort level as well, it sure can't hurt the session.  Do any of you guys get offended if your mechanic compares the check you've written to the amount of your invoice?  What's so different here?

I often ask the lady to count it since I've been known to make a counting error once or twice in my life.

I also have to agree with mr man and Felica.  Age has nothing to do with it, character everything.  Check the boards and you'll see there's a lot of this going around, sometimes with established regulars.

when it's a new client, get the money first. Excuse yourself to go to the bathroom to clean up and ask him, "Oh, is this for me. Thank you." Take the money, put it in your purse and go to the bathroom. Count it discreetly and keep it in your bag. When you get to know the client a little better, then you can grab the envelope/money on your way out. Sometimes I'm too trusting too, but I always find some way to snatch the money first with a new client. I, too, have been ripped off and learned from experience.

Hugs,
Ciara

In the days before the Internet, when I'd go to brothels, the ladies would ALWAYS count the money before the session began -- they had to turn it over to the madam, and if they got shorted, it came out of their hide.  In fact, if Sassy had been working at a brothel and this had happened, she would end up having to pay the house for its cut of the session.  

When I read posts like Ci Ci's, I think that sometimes you ladies are too trusting, too sweet and too politically correct.  I am NEVER offended if the provider wants to count the money first -- I understand that that is what she's there for.  

And for a final bit of perspective:  I'm a professional, too - a lawyer. Like you, I sell my time by the hour (at about the same rate!)  Do you know what happens if I don't get money up front from the client before I render services?  You bet!  They rip me off!  Somehow folks think that because it's your time that you sell, it shouldn't cost anything...so ladies, you're not alone.

put herself at ease.  A simple turn away into the room will usually do.  (Sometimes jumping on the bed in anticipated glee is so distracting to her that she forgets to check the envelope and I defeat my own purpose. So I keep it cool.)

I'm very sorry this happened to you, sassy.  

This tends to be a controversial topic.

For me there are several reasons why receiving the money at the end of the session is a much better arrangement. It is classier (IMO), less businesslike, and the fear of LE is practically nil if money is exchanged at the end.

I also notice that 90% of my tips come when the man is paying at the end. As we're getting dressed, he's in a great mood, and impulsively adds the extra money to the envelope or wad of cash in his hand. I rarely have seen a man go out into the other room and add the tip to the envelope laying out there.

I've never been ripped off, although I do realize it may happen one day. But I'm not unduly worried about it. Twice I was having so much fun with the gentleman that he walked out forgetting to pay (and I didn't remember either.) In both cases, they called the same day and got the money to me--we laughed about it--it wasn't a big deal at all.

Some may feel I'm being too cavalier about the money, but doctors and lawyers don't always get paid after services are rendered, and it isn't the end of the world--just another risk that every business takes.

But in the end, each lady must do what she needs to be comfortable.

I hope your week gets better, Sassy!

don't take anything for granted.  I don't mean to get stuck in a rut here, but there are those who will say "goodbye" on your dime, and that's how they let you know they're not coming back. And then they will make excuses to still try to get together with you and then wham! do it again.

You never know what happens between point a and b.  We are the ones who are supposed to take the stress off, and sometimes that means we get to take the stress.

-- Modified on 5/24/2004 12:56:35 AM

when ladies direct the guys to leave the donation on the bathroom sink upon arrival. Once the gentleman is done in the bathroom, the lady can excuse herself to freshen up, and then she can check the donation in private and out of site.

All of the providers I have seen do exactly as you say.

And you know what?

They all got a tip!  LOL

I would be interested to hear from providers on there loss rates with respect to hobbyists not paying. I bet it is less than 2%

TET

I've dealt with many lawyers, counselors, and shysters, and never paid up front. Civil litigators usually go on contigency, corporate use contracts, and criminals attorneys most of time have to do pay out deals.

Some though do have retainers. But many times they are mob lawyers or corproate attorneys. Same thing really. Org crime.

The one time I did pay up front the lawyer ripped ME off.

MissDemeanor

-- Modified on 5/24/2004 7:09:02 AM

For a "first encounter" I would expect the lady to check the donation and make certain it is all there.  This can be accomplished in one of two ways: 1. Envelope on the table; she picks it up, looks inside to verify funds then puts the envelope in her purse;  2. The man discretely adjourns to the bathroom to allow the lady to verify funds and put them in a safe place.

That's why I have it in my website about leaving the money in an envelope in a conspicuous place. That way, it's more comfortable for the gentlemen and he doesn't have to be reminded of the donation afterward. It also makes it easier (when they're new) to say, "Oh, is this for me?" while I wait for his response and signaling it's okay to pick it up. However, I'm sure each one of us has a different cue.

Hugs,
Ciara

Yes he left the tee shirt so that damn thing cost me $$$$. and a leason. I know it was my fault but I guess i was to trusting. I am sorry I didn't mean just because he was young but I don't feel right about younger guys I always try to ask and I didn't. I damn sure will now. Thanks for letting me cry on everyones
shoulder. And thanks to the honest guys and ladies. I feel better now. You are right what goes around comes around, the As*whole. It will not make me lose my smile and thanks to everyone. BE-GOOD-I-TRY-TO. BUT I"M NOT FREE.lol How do you get the little things up top to use for a smile..

CiCi

I realized after I wrote the comment, that I might have sounded like I was harping on the neg, or indicating that there is a lot of this going on in my life.  Not true - I've been fortunate and learned over time how to be selective, although I admit I was shocked when this side of human nature (ripoff) came up against ME. How dare they (lol!) I'm fair, honest, I overextend time, I'm kind, polite, clean,sexy as hell, yadda yadda. I took it personally,  even though it was just not about me. Sometimes we get the baddies, no matter what.

I rarely ever encounter anyone who behaves less then an amazing gentleman, and if there is an error, he is embarrassed and gracious about it and even mails back the difference.  I credit some of that to these discussion boards in that these men do NOT feel like chumps, but are shown appreciation on these boards.

Anyhow, it's invaluable to take the time to get to know someone a bit first and trusting the gut, something that gets better over time - the bad ones fall away. Still.....  (the devil lurks, LOL, LOL)

XoXo



-- Modified on 5/24/2004 6:03:39 PM

Yadda yadda yadda, I know, capital letters mean you are screaming....that was the POINT!

What a woman.....................................

Glad you feel better, Dear.....

to each his/her own. I've only counted the money (as of late) in front of the gentleman when he asks me to. I still think it's okay to be professional and caring. After all, if I wanted to still work for an agency or work in a brothel, then I would do just that: count the money first. The way I do things now is better for me and safer in the long run.  It also doesn't make me feel cheap. Look at both sides of the coin.

Hugs,
Ciara

I so hope this begins to change.  

I don't have better advice to give than what's already been given, though.

/Zin

I recently had a long-time client not pay me for our session (yes, he knew).  I had always treated this guy so well, never raising my fee with him and always treating him like a king and more, that it really felt like a slap in the face to me.

Baddies are few in my experience, thank goodness, but they do leave their impressions.  The wonderful men leave their impressions too though, and there are a whole lot more of them!  

Just a side note - Every physician I've visited in the past three years has required payment before services are rendered including the dentist, emergency room physician, dermatologist, orthodontist, ob/gyn and several others. Furthermore, my best friend's attorney required a $5000 retainer before he would meet after the initial consultation.

Too sexy too.

Hope all is well.