It depends! If your ex ATF had a deep connection with you it will hurt her,  if not, then you're ok.

Your first BIG mistake was having just one ATF! It's always good to have 3 or 4 ATF and just rotate your appointments around them as you see fit.

Now about her change in attitude this is nothing new and it goes with the territory, providers often do get jaded over time. It's usually best to move on when this occurs! It only gets worse from here on out! If it's truly over, I would ask her if she would be a reference on your behalf.

Curious about the opinions out there….especially from the providers…. I’ve been seeing only one gal for the past 3 years, but not that often, maybe on 4 – 6 times a year.  We always had a great time and never had a problem.  She is highly reviewed and was a low volume provider, with a regular job and school.  However, in the past 4 - 6 months she appears to be a full time provider, always online and always available.  More importantly, she has started to try and play little head games that were not necessary for me to keep coming back….her personality has also changed somewhat, now being a lot more busine$$....so she is now my ex-ATF….there was no confrontation or discussion, just no appointments have been requested….

I want to book an appointment with a new provider; however like all of the highly rated providers, she requests references.  Do I give my ex-ATF a heads up before I use her as a reference?  Or do I let the new provider just contact her?  In addition, I know the two women know each other as well.  While both are “Pros” am I messing with dynamite???  

the rest of your post I mainly agree with.

But to the OP, yes ask her first. Otherwise she might be taken aback if she gets a call out of the clear blue. I think it's only polite to alert any woman that you are going to use as a reference that you are doing so.

Be nice just say always wanted to try provider X. Providers are more than happy to give references. In defense of the provider you speak of who I have no clue who it is.  Just because she is more business like doesn't make her a bad provider  The head games you say she is playing could be her attempt to nicely get you not to come back because possibly you stay alot longer than what you book for and yes she is actually in it to make money.  Remember there are two sides to everything and the only reason I am even writing about any of this is all you had to ask is the proper etiquette to get a reference we don't need to know why you want to see another provider.

Hey Crystal-Good to see a message from you posted-are you going to put up a new website?  I notice that yours isn't on your page-Have a great 4th of July-Go Pat's!

the pats to play.  I am ready for some football.

Thanks for the opinions….She’s a great gal, but due to games, the comfort level just isn’t there anymore…I also know if I discussed the various issues with her, she would run and hide….hence the reason to move on…still not sure how to proceed, but I will most likely not use her as a reference….