I'll admit up front that I'm fat and ugly.  I've seen a few providers who suddenly had very full schedules when I tried to book again. But the other day, a provider went a step further.  I asked if she wanted me to stop trying to schedule with her.  She agreed to see me again, but said I would have to pay a higher rate.  I guess you could call it a "fat" tax.

Is this a common practice?  Does a few extra dollars make me more attractive?  I guess I should feel lucky that she would even see me, but knowing how disgusting she finds me ruins the mood.  I have more respected for ladies who declined to see me.

FSH

goto the gym, diet, get in shape. you will feel better about yourself and others will respect you.

FatSmartHappy,

There are providers who are more accepting of overweight men than others. You might try searching them out. If you are very clean all over, are well-groomed and nicely dressed, and you are respectful and pleasant, then you shouldn't have much trouble finding a provider who appreciates your company and your business. Good luck to you!

A few tips for big men:

Odor-causing bacteria thrive in warm, damp places, so big men need to be particularly mindful of their hygiene. Wash very well in all the crevices, nooks and crannies. Use a long-handled bath brush or other similar tool to help you reach all those places, if needed. Go over every square inch THREE TIMES with lots of soap and water (trust me on this one). You might ask the provider if you can shower at her place, as well. You should already have just showered thoroughly, and then freshen up at her place by washing yourself, especially your vital areas, again. That way, you will be sure to taste fresh.

If you have any rashes or itchy spots, see a dermatologist.  Yeast or fungus can be a problem in skin folds, and a little anti-fungal cream, such as Lotrimin, might clear it up.

Even if you think you are ugly, don't let that be an excuse not to make an effort to look your best.  

Get a good haircut (it makes a difference), and be freshly shaven.  

Get regular manicures and pedicures. They're inexpensive, and they can make a huge difference in how clean and well-groomed you look. A lot of men are reluctant to go to a nail salon, but they shouldn't be. There are tons of them, and the ladies there are usually very accomodating. If you aren't welcomed and made to feel comfortable at one, then go to another one the next time. Don't give up, and you will find a good one.

Wear clothes the fit your body well. Pants that are too small to fit up on your waist properly ride down under the belly and make you look sloppy. Go to a good store for big men or a good tailor, and have them help outfit you. Listen to them, and let them help you. Even if you buy only one "date" outfit, you probably will receive so many compliments that you buy more.


-- Modified on 2/7/2004 4:53:17 PM

I find this really upsetting.What you look like should have no bearing on doing a service and to tell you the truth I find men that are less attractive or very much over weight,to be the kindest most sweetest men in the world and to me I don't need one that looks in the mirror more then I do,most of those men are all about themselves anyway and I am not the thinnest person in the world either and have been in the battle of the buldge for a long time but that does not stop me from meeting with men that love the fun person I am and they also know that when and if I choose to lose weight it would not make a difference in our meeting,these are men I can relax with and be myself.Fat never bothers me,now if someone fat is not clean well that is a different story and that would then be a big turn off but I would then politely ask him to take a shower and brush his teeth so that I can kiss him and be happy about it.So whoever made you feel like your not a human being tell them to take a hike and go out and find a lady who has respect for the person you are.A big hug for you dear.Miss Deena Duos XXX

OR have her do it for you,hehe!! Some of us don't mind.My best to you BIG GUY!!! Respectfully Deena

Deena and Lover are so right! Lots of good info there for you to consider?
I don't mind either the size of a man. The most important thing is the way he carries himself, the way he treats me, and of course the good hygine.
There are so many of GREAT providers out there that will be good for you, with out pulling an "extra" charge. That I feel is absurd. My god we are not the ailines! Altough some of us could take you to heaven.
Be good to your self.......be proud of who you are. And if you don't like it change it. But do it for you and no one else. Also know there are a lot of us out there that are great providers, that do not think like the one you described.

Cheers!

Well spoken.  Heavy people who are well groomed, have style and are wearing well tailored clothing are impressive.  Natural looks can be overcome if a person takes time to maintain those looks, some of the providers who I remember most were plain but took excellent care of themselves, this observation, I am sure applies to hobbyists.

I'm a former hockey player and powerlifter who no longer competes but still eats as if I did. I'm a big guy and well over 300 lbs. This was one of the questions that came up w my ATF.
  My ATF was a little surprised. She informed me that it was not so much my looks that determined her rate, but the manner which I treated her. BTW my ATF is in her early 30's and DDG.
  If you treat your provider like a lady; if you bring her a gift; if you have a smile on your face; and, if you have a good sense of humor; you should have no problems finding a provider with whom you can enjoy yourself.
  Handsome (like beauty) is in the eye of the beholder. Just ask any of the ladies on this site...

Kudos to Deena!

Great post Very true, and well said.


Mel

I really appreciate it.  You can't imagine how much it means to me.

FSH

The only good advice I can give you is: Lose the weight pal. And do whatever you can to improve your looks, even if it's just superficial.  Watch the show "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" to get a better idea.  Although people should not be judged by their looks alone, doing whatever you can to improve yourself isn't exactly bad for your health and happiness.

Something is missing from this equation. Just speculating here because we only have HIS side. Perhaps she just didn't enjoy you as a client, so raising her rates is her way of saying don't bother. Or more likely (again guessing), you got her old rate and she has legitimately raised her fees. You would naturally be established at her old rate and she just doesn't think its worth her time because she's getting better clients at a higher rate.

Or I could just be wrong too

I have seen many large men, and it doesn't bother me as long as they are clean and well-groomed. But that goes for everyone. If you cannot find anyone, honey, send me an email.

Hugs,
Ciara

use a hair dryer on your private areas after you shower.

Interesting to see several suggestions of "lose the weight, pal" as if that thought has never crossed fat people's minds before.  If it were as easy as "oh wow, I think I'll stop being fat," do you really think there would be any fat people left?  Perhaps its just a little more complicated than that.

or done that~

The point of being an escort is doing what you are hired for.

You can be selective to a point, but some people are just flat out wrong.

Don't worry....stay positive and you will find that escort.

Shaye

I agree with Shaye. We offer a service. And I also agree with others, if the gent arrives less than well groomed, suggest a shower and take it with him. It's a great way to break the ice.

Smiles,
Anneke

Thank you for recognizing that fact.
I'm 5'11" and 375 lbs. at this time. I've always been a big husky guy, but it wasn't until a combination of drugs prescribed me due to a health issue caused me to bloat up like a macy's parade baloon that extreme obesity became the burden and issue it is now.
To those who say "suck it in and go to the gym", I say to you... You think I like having to sit in the aisles at restaurants? Wait for the handicapped stall to open up because I can't take a piss standing up? Think again, and walk a mile in my shoes. I have NEVER eaten a Big Mac, or bought a Big Gulp 64 oz Coke at the 7-11. I work out with a personal trainer 3x/week, rarely eat more than 2000 calories a day (date nights are the typical exception) wear a pedometer to make sure I'm getting my 10,000 steps a day, and still, my weight hovers between 375-395 as it has for the last year or so.

We all have unique personalities as well as unique metabolisms.
In most cases, it is WHO we are that should determine how others see us. Unfortunately, in this society that has adopted the mantra of "Style over Substance", a self-centered asshole with washboard abs and designer clothing is accorded greater respect and admiration than the fellow with the beer belly and old blue jeans who would give you the shirt on his back if you needed it.
Guess I sort of ranted a bit. Thanks for letting me share.

Because I refuse to have sex with some fat slob it makes it very difficult fot me to masterbate!

-- Modified on 2/8/2004 11:06:09 AM

I have to agree. At my largest I topped out at 475lbs. At 6'0" I was huge. It has taken me more than a year/ but I am down now to 330lbs. And it is a struggle every day. Unlike the fellow who blew because of medication, I blew up over a long period of time strictly because of me. When you are dealing with an obese person 99% of the time the obesity is a symptom of some other problem. Some people drink, some take drugs, some people gamble. I ate. That was my way of avoiding the things that were bothering me about myself. It was my way of hiding from the world. I had to decide to really look at the things that werte bothering me about myself. Just the looking was hard, then came the part about making changes. You can't just go a diet. If you do that, but don't attempt to change the reason for your eating habits, all you will do once you lose the weight is gain it all back. The underlying cause is still there. Work on fixing that, and the weight problem will sort itself out. Kind of off the thread, but to get back on it I have seen a number of providers both at my heaviest and now, while the mechanics may have taken some improvisational skills, I have never had any problems with repeats. I do always take care to be clean and well groomed. To do anything else would be rude in any case.

I am so glad to see a post on this. It really bothers me when people are so ignorant about over-weight people. There is a majority of the population of over-weight people that are heavy because of medications and family history (genes), not because of Big Macs or beer. Shoot! By some men's standards I'm too skinny, but others -- I'm too fat. Who cares. Just be happy with yourself. This business is about making people happy not judging them. I'm so glad to hear heavy people say, "Love me or leave me." There's nothing wrong with a little more to love, as long as you're healthy.

Hugs,
Ciara