Gosh, is hard to hide!

My family knows what I do, they discovered my site few years ago and it was a big deal then. Now, they learned to accept my choices and there are no problems or even questions about it.

Now, my new boyfriend do NOT have a clue!

On our first date, when we were talking about female bodybuilders, he told me about his ex girlfriend (who was one) and how they broke up when he found out she was an ---> escort!

I was "really???" and decided to keep my mouth shut and never disclose my evil side as a paid slut.

I am telling you - is freaking hard to make up an excuse when he text or calls on my private line, I have a guys dick in my mouth, pussy or ass and he asks "what are you doing baby?" or "can I come over now?"

What should I tell him? I need suggestions!

BDG

The obvious answer is.... tell him what you do and let him walk if he wants to..you know most guys who are not hobbyists will never be able to accept it so say good bye !!!  or:  retire from the biz !!!  if he finds out by accident hes gone anyway !!!   I know providers who have SO's and most are or were hobbyists..  I know, doesn't make sense to me either...

buy a box of small white envelopes.
uc

You need to tell him, it will come out eventually. If it's never going to get serious then do you really even care what he thinks?

You don't strike me as someone who is ashamed of herself. Continuing to hide what you do will eventually heve one of two consequences. Either you will start to resent him or you'll start to lose your own self respect. Don't let someone have that kind of power over you.

Gee, I need to be a bodybuilder so I can start dating chicks that are escorts.

> I am telling you - is freaking hard to make up an
> excuse when he text or calls on my private line, I
> have a guys dick in my mouth, pussy or ass and he
> asks "what are you doing baby?" or "can I come
> over now?"

First of all, most of the quality ladies I know turn off their cell during the date (or at least put it on vibrate and don't answer it). If you do, what you say is your problem. Hopefully your date is considerate enough to keep his moaning to a minimum.

So, let's assume that you have reformed, and only answer/return calls between dates. Train him by not always answering his call, unless you are expecting it. That way, when you don't answer, he will think you are being your normal flaky self.

When you do return his call, just say you were shopping, chatting with a friend, taking a nap, what ever.

I presume this is not a long-term relationship. If you are just starting to date, there is no reason to tell your entire history. If you are going to break up eventually, then you never have to tell him.

If my presumption is wrong, do you really think he won't eventually find out? You need to build some emotional attachment on his part that can overcome his resistance WHEN YOU DO TELL HIM. However, there comes a point in a relationship where the longer you wait to tell him, the worse it is. With the emotional attachment comes trust. Telling him your life will destroy a part of that trust. The more trust, the more it will destroy.

If you tell him early in the relationship, then a strong relationship can be built with the knowledge. If you wait too long, then the he may never be able to fully trust you again, and it will be a weakness in whatever relationship you do build.

and if I may add, if he finds out on his own, he will be angry because you did not tell him. If you tell him up front, the result may be different.
Good luck, BDG.

BECAUSE of the ladies I have met in this hobby - would I marry - date - have a civie relationship with an escort????

My answer...   yes.  and here is why, they seem to be more level headed than most civie women from the standpoint of recognizing that sex is the most powerful of biological drivers... more so than hunger.  They also recognize that sex - and love (or friendship) can be separated.... this was proven to me by one special provider.

I suspect that some of the providers I have seen - would like me as a friend... but perhaps not as a lover... again - proving that you CAN compartmentalize relationships....

Soooo..... being married to someone who has sex for money - as long as she LOVES me... well that is doable....  


OR so I SAY.... now which of you lovely ladies would give me the chance to DO AS I SAY????   lol!!!  Theory is always easire than practice.

I am assuming you are trying to develop a relationship with this guy as opposed to "someone I am dating". If that is the case then you either tell him what you do and hope he doesn't break up with you like he did his last girlfriend or you stop providing so you can assure yourself that part of your life won't cause a break-up.

If by "boyfriend" you just mean a semi-serious fling that maybe one day might turn into something serious, then dont' say or do anything until such a time as you feel you want to be serious with him.

b-

OMG you made me spittle a bittle on my puter screen.  A box of small white envelopes will do the TRICK.

smokinhot sexymadelineshaw

Dump him sweetie. Don't waste precious time and energy or put your mental health and heart at stake here.

This is a Lose, Lose senerio and the sooner you realize this the better off you two will be.

Tell him your NOT a call girl but you are breaking up with him because he blabbed all over town about his last girlfriend who may or may not have been a call girl and ruined her reputation.  Even if she was a call girl, it's not right to blab and spread rumors on someone you were intimate with. He has proven himself untrustworthy.

PS Blabbers don't get bbbj's for F R E E

That will boggle his brain for sure and might teach him to keep his mouth shut.

Don't tell him. What ever you do, NEVER TELL!!!
Your family will keep your secret because they love you unconditionally but not a man, and especially not this man.

You don't want, or need, a loose cannon running around blabbing to his next girl and anyone else who will listen to his, someone done me wrong song.

I am sure, you are sure, that you are not the only person he told about his last girlfriend.

RUN FOR THE DOOR GET OUT NOW.
EVEN IF YOU FEEL LIKE CONFESSING
EVEN IF YOUR CRYING AND PULLING YOUR HAIR OUT,
EVEN IF YOUR HEART GIVES YOUR BRAIN 10 GOOD REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD TELL.
DO NOT
EVER TELL.
GOT IT?
good
now go and have some fun getting over him while shakin your money maker, then head for the mall and buy yourself a gift.

much love
smokinhot sexymadelineshaw

oops caps off now.
What if she did quit for love and then he found out about her past.
He would still dump her.
He is not the one.

He's going to think he's living in an X rated version of Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

Ater he finds out about you he'll go tell his mom and she'll look at him with this weird grin and he'll shout:  "Oh no, they got you too mama?!"

Beware folks:  We are everywhere.  (Cue BSD's maniacal laughter.)

but as a BizzaroSuperdude, u have hardly a chance at all.

I love those characters that are larger than life.  ooh la la

xo Lisa

-- Modified on 3/7/2008 11:11:10 AM

It must be hard for you to deal with this situation but honesty, or at least close to it, is the best answer.
There are people who can accept what their mate does for a living. I am one of those person.
I met my girlfriend at a MP a year and half ago. We started to talk over the phone, seeing each other once a while. Some point down the line, I started to discover how sweet and caring this person was. You see, I nor her, had no expectations or future towards each other because I am married with children. After about 3 months or so, I started to fall for her. You see, we did not have sex until then. Yes, it was hard to accept what she her profession was, but for me to take her in to my heart, I needed to completely accept her 100%. It wasn't easy, and to tell you the truth, it's still hard at times.
I am planning to leave my wife. I want to be happy. She is the one that makes me happy.
There are many obsticles that every couple needs to overcome to fulfill their dreams and goals. If circumstances are not to your favorite, then why fight it. Will this person provide the living standards and love you desire until the end? Why lie.. Isn't it just hard enough that you have to do what you do? Take pride in your self. I know this profession was not what you wanted to become when you were younger. Sh*t just happens in life and priorities changes as one ages. If he can't accept what you do, then find someone else that would.
Most of all, the society we live in will condemn anyone or anything that is outside the cube. The society does not care what you do. Please do not look down on yourself.
Socrates said "What is happiness?" the answer lies within yourself...

At times, it's hard to balance this with school, friends, family, all that jazz. No one knows what I do and they'd never be able to guess in a million years.

What I do with my friends is generally make up group meetings for class that I have to go to, or say I'm going to so and so's house from school or make up fake blind dates that I'm going on because some friend (I always name someone that lives out of town) is setting me up.

That probably won't work with your bf, but start thinking outside the box. If that's too outlandish, think inside the box. See what you can come up with...

Katie

I hate to say it, but eventually the truth will be discovered.
also, what if he meets your family and they inquire with him about your professional/lifestyle choices?
Just a few questions...

crack me up. Look at all the guys proclaiming that honesty is the best policy- yet how many of them do you really think are abiding by that policy? How many of them tell their wives or SOs what they are doing? How many of them are single, yet will tell their future wives or SOs about this aspect of their lives?

~Get a job...keep it for a little while, I know it sucks but when you are at work, youcan't answer the phone.
Then once he is trained on your schedule, work schedule thaqt is, then you quit. Keep "going to work" as always and you are golden.
A catering job, waitress job easy to switch your schedule up when you need to.
It isnt easy but I do it and so far I do it well.

Heres the real problem...it gets tougher the closer you get to him. Once you have crossed that line you have to decide which side of the fence you want to be on. I worry all the time about him finding out. Not because he will be angry or not want to see me anymore, I would be upset but expect it. Mainly I do not want to hurt him. I would hate that. I did not plan to fall in love with him but I did, and I don't want to be without him. He is not like me, in the fact that he could Not seperate it. I can. This is work, grant it I love it but its not reality.
He is not work and they are seperate.

It is acceptance of the likelihood of getting caught.

If you accept the likelihood that you will get caught, then the sooner you tell, the better.

what he found offensive about the other girl's escorting?

There aren't many virgins, that I know of, that get married. Ask him how many women he's been with?

Maybe he couldn't handle the fact that she was making more money than him. (And that's not meant to be a joke.)

Then you are busted and he says WTF... another escort? Well, it won't end well and if you like him or even fall for him, it will come home to roost either way. Follow the advice here and let him make hos choice. PM me... I want to ask you something else.

You could take a break, a vacation, a sabbatical from escorting to be with him, just to decide how serious this relationship is for you.

Also by your postings, I know you'll be hornier than hell within a day and a half-- which is also good. Because then you can attack him, bang his brains out a sixty-nine different ways over a month. Do every kink you've ever done. Then, let him decide if he could meet all your sexual needs.  

In the mean time you can figure out what you actually feel toward him. If you're serious, and if things reach the point where he knows he can't meet your needs (or doesn't want to, if he really has that ego), then have a discussion with him. You'll have to put it on the line then. Tell him what you do. You'd have a better feel for your emotions by then, too.

Or, by that time, if you think this might be better: tell him that his story about his previous girl-friend being an escort got you thinking. . .  you think it might be hot . . . pay attention to his body language when you do.

Yes, sooner or later, he will find out. But sooner is not necessarily better. It's better to be able to set the time, and you can.  

One advantage you have, he won't suspect that another girl friend is really an escort. What are the odds . . .? Probably pretty high today, but civies are a little behind the times.

Sweetnicole, he is one very lucky man.

Wow...scary to think that all the lies that will be started to keep something that he may or should I say will find out eventually about?

I agree with the post about keeping a "real paycheck job" or group/class meetings that you would attend.

But the problem for most people is keeping their lies straight. KEEP THEM SIMPLE and closer to the truth! They are easier to remember.

Its a tough call though isn't it...keep true to yourself first!

Since I don't have a wife or SO, I am not telling any falsehoods to anyone. If I were to ever get a future wife or SO and she asked then I would be honest. If she doesn't ask, no need to bring it up.

b-

Was I supposed to enjoy reading this ? Cause I did. Not at your distress of course, just was kind of hot.

since it's a 'new' boyfriend I wouldn't sweat it. If he's slappin the ring on your finger you can make the call then. Or at least have plenty of time to get your affairs in order if hes rich enough to support you both

-m

From what you say, he is not a boytoy.  He is someone you want to be serious with.  You have to decide how serious you want to be.  Like everyone else has said, honesty seems to be the best course.

why thank you...

I'm surprised that it hasn't occurred to anyone that he might have been fishing.

certain times I can't talk to you or you can't come over.  I am a (A) writer (B) shrink (C) you get the drift.  

After all, how long have you known this guy?  After one or two dates, he shouldn't be trying to own you.

Hard to have both sweetie!

Ok I know it's hard and you should really get to know someone before you do this but honestly that's how I weed them suckers out. If they can't handle my job then they can't handle me! I mean first date I'm like "I'm in Sales!" because you don't know who is who but once things start getting serious and they start slobbering all over themselves for me I just blurt it out.

I've actually had someone say "you're not a call girl or anything like that are you?" and I was just like "Yes" - he thought I was joking and I just said "Aww that's so cute you think I don't fuck other men"

You have to do what you have to do and someone who really wants to be with you in your personal life will have to cope with that

Unfortunately he will probably be on his guard from the get-go and will discover your secret sooner rather than later. That "Sword of Damocles" will be hanging there until he does find out, and then....

Just from a hobbyist p.o.v. I have always wondered if providers try to hide their expertise in bed from their not-in-the-know SO's to help shield them from suspicion...or do they just let it fly and rock their world? Most civvie girls just don't have the same abilities. Food for thought

-- Modified on 3/10/2008 3:23:02 PM

Tell the Truth or quit the Biz. After all if you care about him does he not deserve the truth. Tell him b4 someone else does.