Hey bud,
A suggestion and a thank you:1) Forgive yourself and move forward (if you’ve been doing this long enough, you’ve made a bad decision. Hopefully, it’s
One from which it is easy to recover.)
2) Thank you for helping us remember that we all have to be careful in this hobby. (In my eagerness to get back to the hobby after sitting out the last two years, I came
“ThisClose” to pushing my boundaries. ) It’s a bit harder for providers and hobbyists now. Let’s respect each other and get a little closer to 2017 style.
I understand why women want deposits to secure a date – because there are more than a few men that flake and don’t show up. Time and expenses wasted.
From a different point of view, I want to give a true account of what happened to me recently. I had been communicating with ‘Ashley Aleigh” via a Twitter account (https://twitter.com/ashleyaleighx) which linked to her Tryst advertisement (https://tryst.link/escort/ashleyaleigh#contact) and making a deposit was consistent with ‘her’ email account ([email protected]). Ashley also had a few very good reviews posted on TER, but now I can’t find them – so the TER management might have taken them down recently.
Generally, I don’t make deposits – you either accept me and my sincerity, or you don’t. C’est la vie. But in this case, the communication seemed real and I was going to give myself a nice treat.
‘Ashely’ asks for a 50% deposit when ‘she’ is touring. I almost took the bait at the time, but I had trouble making that work – any method would not accept funding from a credit card (with the exception of a gift card limited to $500, see below). During this time, I asked ‘Ashley’ to send me a facial picture with ‘her’ holding up three fingers. She actually got a bit indignant about this – first red flag. She did send me a picture of a plane ticket for the dates that she was saying she would be here (although I still do not know WHO was flying). But because of the difficulties and her reaction, my big head won out and I decided not to book a date.
On the day of ‘Ashley’s’ arrival, she DM’d me that she was flying in, with a picture of her in the plane and walking through the airport, masked of course so I really couldn’t tell if it was or was not ‘her’. I responded that I had given up, but she offered to meet me with a 20% deposit. So I gave it another try and did get a gift card at the lower amount. Not long after I sent that to ‘her’, she comes back and wants an additional $170 gift card for some lingerie to wear. Wait – what? Second red flag.
What is the saying? "Fool me once . . ."
We were scheduled to meet for a dinner date at a restaurant near the Embassy Suites where she was purportedly staying. So to be generous and hopefully have a nice time – I picked up another gift card on the way to meet ‘her’, but this time I told her I would give ‘her’ the card when ‘she’ showed up. Well, that caused a ruckus and I finally figured that ‘she’ was not going to show up at all and it all was a SCAM.
So gentlemen – think with your big head. Unless it is someone reputable and you have really checked them out thoroughly, DON’T GIVE DEPOSITS. Just be honest, sincere, and reliable.
I am not mad at ‘Ashley’, just disappointed in myself for letting my little head rule my big head, even momentarily. I still don't know whether I was conversing with the real 'Ashely Aleigh' or an imposter, but it really doesn't matter, the result is the same. If I just save one person the regret about being scammed out of a deposit, posting this is worthwhile.
Oh, and avoid making a date with 'Ashley Aleigh'.
On the flip. What if the reputable cancels on you? What are the odds of a refund? Deposits = Hard pass for me. My choice. This has be extensively discussed.
if the business was legal and there was some legal recourse, and also if there was a 3rd party holding onto the deposit until the deed was done. Just like when you buy a house, a deposit is made to prove you are a serious buyer, but it is held by attorney or escrow company.
Short of all these measures in place to prevent fraud, I can only pay when we meet.
Deposits aren't required for your price point K-Girls.
Neither are reservations at MacDonalds when you take the K-Girls for dinner dates.
She ruined it for me. NEVER again.
I will say I ALMOST fell into that one, if it weren't for yours and others reviews! Thank you for that
Do you think somebody stole her identity? Anyway, thanks for heads up as she was on my list to see. Not anymore.
Unfortunately that is the case, not sure what the deal is yet it continues probably not able to scam as much in that TER knows and Tryst P411 ads are down. HE yes he bragged that she’s been inactive for 3 months.
One doesn't just haphazardly send them to businesses, or in this case, providers, without doing your due diligence. Here are my rules:
1) I need a woman with a lengthy and solid track record of acting professionally, in all walks of the business, and especially with how she handles her cancellations and deposit refunds, if something should come up and she must cancel or reschedule.
2) I don't send deposits to new or unverifiable women. I will reach out and try to see some of those ladies but I would not send them a deposit.
3) I don't send deposits through cash apps.
4) I won't send more than 33% but have very rarely been asked for more than 25%.
5) I only send them by gift card (of the ladies choosing) and through my encrypted email account.
My rules have worked for me just fine and in no case have I ever been stiffed.
read Curly's post, above. It's NOT like any other business, because its illegal. Therefore, you have no recourse if you get scammed for the deposit. Are you going to sue her to get your money back and admit in court that you were breaking the law by soliciting? You might as well tattoo, "sucker", on your forehead to take the guesswork out for the scammers.
It is the same with regards to my research but I should have been more clear about it so point taken. And I don't give that much $ to worry about getting "scammed." Its typically only a few hundred dollars and much like gambling, I don't risk more than I can afford.
I have forwarded dozens and dozens of deposits and have never been burned. I only see professional women with impeccable reputations which obviously lowers the risk substantially. There is always risk of something going wrong with anything in life. I don't mind risking a paltry amount of money to meet with a fantasy woman.
Your bankroll management has nothing to do with risk mitigation. You're just saying how much money you will be wiling to lose. And for those who don't want to lose any money, I believe (at least speaking for myself) I'm OK with missing out on some potentially good experiences if I can negate all the bad experiences simply by skipping the ones requiring deposits.
There is so much scamming out there that if anyone asks whether they should see a lady who requires deposits, the universal answer will/should be "no". Yes, you will be skipping some potentially great dates of real women who don't scam. But my experience is that people who have to ask that question aren't great with research and deep dives into internet history.
Deposits is just an area where the hobby is skewed towards provider. As is screening.
For me, and I respect your view, I look at each date separately, on that particular girls own merits and reputation. It has worked very well for me. It may not work for others and that is why you don't see me telling others they are wrong how they play.
But in that same vein, I wouldn't want anyone telling me what, or how, do to something and I am not saying you, specifically, are saying that, but others have. And if the deposit and screening are skewing towards the provider then so be it. Business cycles change. Sometimes the buyer has the upper hand, sometimes the business i.e. the providers have it. It ebbs and flows.
I am not on a crusade to make change. I am here to meet hot women whom I am attracted to with personalities I feel would be a good match with mine. In addition, I look for sanity and a good, fun loving nature and certain sexual compatibilities. If I have to jump through a few more hoops than I did just several years ago, it is a small price, imo, to get maximum fun from this lifestyle.
You may not believe in universal answers, but there are general guidelines. And especially guidelines for people who are not well versed in research and are gullible.
You'd be surprised how many times on a monger board I'd see an ad referenced and asked if it's real. I open it and it's some crap from es_babylon with hires pic of some young supermodel who claims to provide all uncovered services for 100 bucks. And for every pour soul who musters the courage to ask such question, I'm sure there are many that don't ask it and get burned.
Hence the general guideline is if it looks too good to be true, it probably is. There is a probability that you will miss a newbie amazing provider with cheap rates as she tries to establish herself. But this probability is so low that it's nearly irrelevant in the general guideline.
In a similar vein, if you want to avoid scams, avoid girls who ask for deposits. If you consider yourself a good researcher and are batting 100, good for you. Other folks aren't batting 100. Even half experienced mongers get fooled. And BTW no one is claiming all girls who demand a deposit are scammers. It's kinda like a general guideline to not wander around in a shady neighborhood late at night. It's not like everyone there is a crim_inal, but if you don't want to get mugged, you shouldn't walk alone in shady neighborhoods at night. General guideline. I'm sure there will be some people whod say we'll I walked around there in my cowboy hat on and never got mugged. OK, great. And?
Yes, you are right. But this 'woman' had a reasonably believable website plus some TER reviews (at least when I checked) checking off #1. She doesn't appear to be 'new' (#2) I followed #5 in your list.
I used to rely on P411, but my history was destroyed when my credit card denied a charge from a foreign account and I couldn't straighten it out with P411. I've also taken a bit of a sabbatical for awhile, so I have no recent references and I do this infrequently anyway.
But I am glad that you published this list to add to my tale of woe.
If a lady is so busy that I have to "reserve" her time with a deposit, then she's too busy for me.
And if she's concerned I'm going to flake, well that's a risk we both take. Just had a ridiculous back and forth with a booker. Seems she forgot to mention the lady was an hour travel away from my hotel and when the lady texted me directly, she said she wouldn't drive that far. Glad I hadn't made a deposit there.
Just had a ridiculous back and forth with a booker. Seems she forgot to mention the lady was an hour travel away from my hotel and when the lady texted me directly, she said she wouldn't drive that far. Glad I hadn't made a deposit there.
I respect the fact that you take ownership for letting the little head get a hold of your wallet. I don't care how well-reviewed or highly esteemed the girl is; I won't part with an upfront deposit. When asked, I try to overcome the request with references, etc., but at the end of the day, if it's a deal-killer, then I accept I'll never see that particular chick.
If I see "deposit required" I keep scrolling. I have reviews, and several P411 "Okays" that vouch for my safety and reputation, if that's not enough then it's just not meant to be. All this bs about being willing to make a deposit so that the provider knows you are serious about the session is just that, bs. I venture to say that many of us clients are married or have a S/O and jumping through these loopholes is just ridiculous. I miss the old days, look at an ad, make the call or send the P411 request and 45 to an hour later you're at the door.
24-48 hours notice, deposits, RL screening info...how did we get here?
It all turned around when TER went dark in 2018 IMO.
With the "back in the day" nostalgia. But it does seem as though P4P had a real sweet spot back in the early 2000s up to a couple of years ago. Lots and lots of pretty and often beautiful girls, reasonable pricing, minimal screening, reviews to weed our the flakes and ROBs, no deposits, and even the occasional M&G.
Yeah--I know the one constant in the universe is change. But it does seem like this thing was pretty close to perfect for a while.
Don't get me wrong, there are some seriously hot women available now and way more girls into 3somes than I used to be able to find. But still . . .
I guess it just mirrors real life. Remember getting a mortgage or buying a car just a few decades ago? It was a fairly simple process. Now? Omg. The paperwork has increased 10 fold.
I agree w this . There was a period for me in 2012-15 when the hobby was at its absolute peak - plenty of new providers , reasonable donation points and a whole host of different types of agencies. The only constraint was my budget and how frequently I could find time in schedule. Maybe it was just that more providers discovered the ease of doing this using online tools, smartphones became mainstream, hotels were still cheap etc .
Having done this for decades , I can say from my pov , right now is probably the worst time in a long time from a budget and available selection perspective.
With the "back in the day" nostalgia. But it does seem as though P4P had a real sweet spot back in the early 2000s up to a couple of years ago. Lots and lots of pretty and often beautiful girls, reasonable pricing, minimal screening, reviews to weed our the flakes and ROBs, no deposits, and even the occasional M&G.
Yeah--I know the one constant in the universe is change. But it does seem like this thing was pretty close to perfect for a while.
Don't get me wrong, there are some seriously hot women available now and way more girls into 3somes than I used to be able to find. But still . . .
I agree, FOSTA-SESTA being the main reason TER went dark, and it also eliminated a substantial portion of the playing field on alternative sites. So now instead of being able to find something quickly, we have to sift through these sites where it's GPS galore.
GPS Galore -- is that a James Bond villain name?
What if she opens the daughter to her uncle? Her day job co-worker? Her best friends father? Many women provide in the area they grew up in, so what is your proposal so she doesn't get humiliated?
What does a deposit have to do with avoiding folks she knows? Surely they are as able, and persuadable, to put up a deposit, as strangers?
.
This is a change of topic from "deposit" to "ID" -- a whole different kettle of scrod.
I was addressing the last sentence in his post re: p411 and verification and his comment about jumping through "hoops." Many guys want to remain anonymous, and I understand that but I was just pointing out why some ladies require more than references/p411. No one seems like they have an answer to this problem.
I believe nothing in his post (the one you replied to) mentioned verification explicitly.
I tend to call last minute and take whatever timeslot is open. I usually call girls I've seen before, or will pre-screen well ahead if a new girl catches my interest.
I can understand asking a deposit from someone booking a longer appt or booking far in advance [doing something that would prevent the girl from booking other clients]
I don't book ahead, partly because I never know when the wife will have plans for me.
I've been hobbying for seven years. I've never placed a deposit down. Why? Because I refuse to use a credit card. I run a few cash businesses so paying in cash is 100% for me. Nothing to tie me to anything.
Never once have I ever used a credit card to send a deposit. There is no need. I use cash too.
OK. First things first.
Who said you have to use a credit card?
Have you ever been to a Staples, Barnes & Noble, CVS, or Target? They sell Debit Cards (Visa/MC/Amex) that you can pay for with your credit card or cash. Then you simply email the provider the number or a photo. Pretty easy, huh?
Now as for your ego, it must sting that a provider can set their terms. However they can. And you can huff and puff however at the end of the day they don't have to bend over and grab their ankles. Certainly the tide is turning against you.
Never placed a dime of deposit and never will.
BTW Deposits are a recent phenomenon. Back in early 2000s no one placed deposits. They were not even discussed on TER.
Usually on her tits.
mouth, but when they are as old as the ones you see, they can't help drooling it back out onto their tits. Lol (You tee'd that one up, my friend.)
you'd have done a better job with it.
(see how that works?)
Never placed a dime of deposit and never will.
BTW Deposits are a recent phenomenon. Back in early 2000s no one placed deposits. They were not even discussed on TER.
Deposits were also discussed on TER since the beginning of TER. You should know better than to make a blanket statement like that when the archivist is around. 🤣
Here’s an example from 20 years ago. (There are hundreds more)
In my defense she was inquiring about one, not insisting one one. Also she's Plus size, which back then we used to just call a fattie. Anyhoo, that's besides the point..
That being said, they weren't as prevalent as they are today.. Hope that passes the muster LOL
After all, if a librarian can be a superhero, why not an archivist?
time travel. He can go back to the past and get a quote at the actual time it was created. Lol
Hey bud,
A suggestion and a thank you:
1) Forgive yourself and move forward (if you’ve been doing this long enough, you’ve made a bad decision. Hopefully, it’s
One from which it is easy to recover.)
2) Thank you for helping us remember that we all have to be careful in this hobby. (In my eagerness to get back to the hobby after sitting out the last two years, I came
“ThisClose” to pushing my boundaries. )
It’s a bit harder for providers and hobbyists now. Let’s respect each other and get a little closer to 2017 style.
in the past i have given several "deposits" to well reviewed providers i had seen several times before and in every case when it came time to cash them in .... "oh that was a gift" or i dont remember that etc etc
so lesson learned. if one and i mean ONE girl says she would give back a deposit great for her but she is a unicorn.
its really simple. look if a guy flakes on a date two things are going to happen 1) she will not see him again 2) she will post on the girls only boards and black list you 3) the guy is going to have a tough time getting a date from other girls ... oh 3 .... THREE last chances ( inside monty python joke)
so its in the guy's best interest not to flake.
As long as it's reasonable, I don't mind. Got burned before, but that was a single provider, haven't have that issue since.
I do stay away from those asking for exorbitant deposit (for example, 50%) while being outcall only, and I also have to provide transportation. Kind of suspicious to have to assume all the risks.
I've done a $100 deposit before. While I would hate to be scammed it seemed doable. The woman was Karen Fisher who is well reviewed and known. The session sucked but she was worth risking a small deposit on.
I have no problem dropping a bunch of Franklins for a fun time, but only when we're in the room together.
If we're new to each other, we're both taking a risk without a deposit; i might not show up or i might rent a hotel room or drive an hour only to have you not show up. Worse still, I've actually had 2 different women do a grab and dash.
If we do know each other, no need for a deposit to prove my bona fides.
Either way, you'll see my money only when I see you.
If you've EVER had a bad experience regarding a deposit (as I and more than a fair share of folks have)--you will stay away from ANY arrangement with a provider requiring a deposit forever more!!
if you ever visited a sugar baby site .. or whatsyourprice or seeking A. all those sites clearly state that you should never send a girl a deposit and in fact a girl asking for money before meeting is grounds to have her removed from the site !
that should speak volumes.
if you ever visited a sugar baby site .. or whatsyourprice or seeking A. all those sites clearly state that you should never send a girl a deposit and in fact a girl asking for money before meeting is grounds to have her removed from the site !
that should speak volumes.